Viewer Log: What If...? ep 16

Can the Lady of Death learn mercy as the Lord of Thunder would one day learn Worth?

Last time on What If…?, we saw what would have happened had Asgard fallen in Ragnarok. The Tesseract would have survived but split into pieces connecting a lake in Mohawk lands to a world infused with the Space Stone’s energy. Mohawk and other native peoples disappeared into the lake’s waters for years before the lake was deemed cursed. Some time later, Kahhori, a young Mohawk and her brother Wahta discovered the lake just as a group of Conquistadors attacked their village. Kahhori is transported to the other world, where she meets a tribe of Mohawk and befriends them, particularly this one guy named Atahraks. She’s enchanted by the world she sees but refuses to accept she’s trapped there. For you see, the portal back to Earth lies just out of reach. She gains powers from being in and eating the food of the Space Mohawks. Eventually, the Conquistadors find the lake and a squad of them fall through to Sky World. Kahhori defeats them all single handedly before forcing the portal low enough for her to walk through. She asks the other Mohawk to join her but they’re hesitant. She runs off at high speed alone. She faces off against the Conquistadors, overpowering a lot of them, but is eventually driven to her knees by cannon fire. The rest of the empowered Mohawk arrive to help her, and they drive the colonizers back. Wahta dubs them the Thunder People. Later, they teleport to the heart of Queen Isabella’s court and basically tell her they will have peace, or the Spanish will see what it’s like to be invaded. She begrudgingly agrees. Just before the credits roll, Strange Supreme portals in and says he’s been looking for her.

 

Ep 16: What if Hela Found the Ten Rings?

 

We begin with a brief history of the MCU’s version of Norse Myth. Short version, Odin lead a war against the other eight planets aka Realms of the World tree to unite them under Asgard. His best soldier, commander, and executioner in that campaign was his first-born child, Hela, Goddess of Death wielding Mjolnir. Odin hoped to create peace under him, but Hela wanted more. For her hubris, she was stripped of her powers and banished her to Hell. That’s how it went in the main timeline. In this one, Odin decided to bust out the ‘banish to Earth and give them the chance to EARN their power.” He shatters Mjolnir when it is thrown at him, and then announces that no God should rule over death without appreciation for life. He takes her helmet and banishes her to Earth. She enchants her helmet, saying if the wearer knows mercy, they shall be granted the power of Hela and hurls it after her. Hela crash lands in ancient China, as does her crown. Her crown is discovered by Xu Wenwu and his army.

 

As rain falls on the battlefield, Hela arrives and orders they hand over her crown. Wenwu says that he’s the only one that gives orders around here. Hela isn’t impressed by Wenwu or the Ten Rings at first. She attempts her go to intimidation tactic of summoning her crown, but when it doesn’t come to her that kind of kills the vibe. Wenwu orders her taken, Hela tries to summon blades, but they also don’t come. She’s hit in the mouth and disgusted to learn she can bleed. She feigns weakness, distracting the guards long enough to get a few hits in. Hela takes on many troops before Wenwu realizes that she’s stronger than a human woman should be and binds her with his rings. She notes those are not of this realm, and Wenwu points out she isn’t either. She says that if she had her crown, he would be the one kneeling, and Wenwu tells her to show him. She goes to her crown, smug in her upcoming victory, but is shocked when the crown remains rooted in place. She begs her father to please not do this to her as Wenwu and his army watches impassively. When she can’t move it, she’s taken to his palace.

 

The two have dinner and it looks like Wenwu might be smitten with her. He proposes an alliance, as he realizes that she is a fighter like him. Hela says that her father saw that in her and nurtured that in her but cast her aside when she grew too ambitious and she’s certain he will too. He says he won’t for he is not her father. She seems to at least ponder it. He believes that he is protecting the world with his power and that with her he’ll be able to protect more than before. They look like they’re about to kiss, when Hela grabs him and bashes his head against the table until he passes out. She tries to steal the rings but they won’t come off his body before the guards arrive. She runs from the palace and finds the creature Trevor would one day name Morris in Shang-Chi. The little headless creature shows her the way to a horse and they escape. Hela says that they’ll travel to Norse country, as the Asgard are worshipped there and raise an army. Not a great plan but her options are few. They travel across the country until they reach the Bamboo maze. Hela is intrigued but warns Morris it’s his ass if this doesn’t pan out.

 

They enter the maze and things go well until the bamboo begins closing behind them. She races through the forces and into the village of Ta Lo. She’s immediately attacked by Jiaya, Ta Lo’s guardian. As she drops, back in Asgard, Heimdal notices that she’s disappeared from his sight.

 

Hela awakens in time to see some phoenixes fly by. When she gets up, she’s surrounded by Ta Loians, with Jiaya saying she’s speaking for the village elders. Morris told them who she was. She admits she’s shocked to learn magic like there’s still exists on Midgard, to which Jiaya says they’re in a boarder world that protects Earth from beings of the underworld, like her. Hela claims her only beef is with Odin, and maybe Wenwu, but that’s kind of the same beef. Also, doesn’t care for future stepmom Frigga. Three beefs. She asks if any of them would be willing to take up arms for her, and when they say nothing, she asks if maybe one of these underworld creatures is looking for work. Jiaya says that you can’t banish darkness with more darkness, only light. Hela is unimpressed with the proverb but is willing to learn from them. When one of the elders ask why they’d do that, she points out that she’s a goddess of death, so what better means of meeting their mandate of protecting Earth than to make her one of theirs. Jiayi tells her to look to the sun, when it reaches it’s zenith, her training will begin. When an elder asks if this is a good idea, Jiaya says that they have methods to ensure she doesn’t betray them. The white dragon flies across the sky, and Hela says that the message has been received.

 

Heimdal goes to Odin and tells him that he can no longer see Hela. Odin asks if she’s been killed. Heimdal says that there’s one guy on Earth right now that might have been able to do it. Upon learning this, Odin thinks that if Midgard has a weapon that can kill a God, their age of peace might be short lived.

 

In Ta Lo, Hela begins her training. She initially thinks she’s going to be taught to do air bending techniques, but Jiaya says that Hela already knows how to fight, so her training will be about cultivating her inner world. So, she’ll be sitting on a rock and practicing her breathing. She’s also shown Zhe Zhi, the art of making infinite possibilities with blankness. Aka Origami. She’s able to make a slightly ripped up flower from her piece of paper. When they get to the folding laundry part of the lesson, Jiaya uses her power to attack Hela with laundry to make her talk about her desires. She wants Ta Lo’s techniques to be able to beat Wenwu to steal his rings so she can use the rings to overthrow her father and then conquer the universe. And Jiaya then asks the simple question, what happens after that. Hela has a flashback to her childhood, when her wolf (I at least don’t think he’s her brother in this continuity) Fenris is chained by her father. He tells her that Fenris isn’t a threat to him, yet, but a real leader tames his enemies before they can be a threat. Jiaya in the present asks what she hopes to find at the end of her conquests. Hela throws off the fabric with a punch and realizes that what she wants is freedom. Freedom from control. Jiaya then says she’s ready to begin.

 

We get a training montage of Hela learning Ta Lo’s techniques. How the breath in her lungs, folds in paper and all that jazz flow into their techniques. She seems to have mastered the air bending techniques, just before she sees a Bifrost portal in the distance. Hela outfits herself with Ta Lo weapons as Jiaya finds her. She tells Jiaya that she can’t stand by while Odin terrorizes the countryside in her name, or allow him to get the ten rings. Jiaya warns her that she’ll walk this path alone.

 

We cut to Wenwu’s palace as it’s beset by Asgardian soldiers. Wenwu and Hela hold off the lesser soldiers as Odin walks up. Odin says that he feared the worst when she disappeared from Heimdal’s sight and that he came here to avenge her. She asks if he’s not really here for the rings, to which he does say that the Ten Rings are too powerful to be in such ‘primitive’ hands. He offers her a place at his side again, but she refuses. She says that she won’t follow him again. He points out that without her crown, she’s powerless, but Hela says she’s still not alone. She tells Wenwu that they need to separate Odin from his spear, Gungnir, if they’re to defeat him. Using her new Ta Lo skills and the Ten Rings they’re able to separate him from Gungnir. Odin says he should have sealed her away when he had the chance. Hela tells him he should have gone with his first instinct like he taught her. They best Odin, knocking him to the ground. Hela offers end this, to spare him, but Odin grabs her by the throat and asks when she ever past on the chance to end a life. She says it’s like he said that a God of death should respect life. Her crown returns to her, and her increased power is enough to defeat Odin. Odin surrenders his throne to her and says that while he sent her to Earth to grow stronger, she in fact eclipsed him. Hela will take up his seat, but she says with it, she’ll dismantle his empire and bring peace to the cosmos. The end shows Hela astride Fenris and Wenwu running on his rings leading an Asgard Army to Gamora’s home world to face off against Thanos.

 

This episode is a lot like the What If T’Challa became Star-Lord, in that the episode suggests this alt timeline is objectively better with the change. Like, so if Hela got the same “banished but with a way out if you experience personal growth” option as her half-brother Thor did in the main timeline, she’d be a better monarch than her dad, build a bigger empire but a benevolent one and save the Universe from Thanos? Like… shouldn’t there be knock on wood negatives to this change as well? Even the T’Challa episode had the implied moral that if Peter wasn’t Star-Lord, that left him open to Ego and too weak to fight him off if he came calling. This just seems to suggest that All-Mother Hela was the better path than All-Father Odin, no caveats or anything. Hell, at least suggest that her beating Thanos meant that Tiamut had a chance to Emerge without being hindered, thus destroying Earth which would have been a bummer. Also, this felt like another episode that could have been longer. We basically sped run through Hela’s redemptive story arc without a chance to breathe. Do I believe a lot of her issues tie back into how she was raised? Yep. Still don’t believe she got over that trauma or herself after one flashback and realization what she wanted wasn’t what she needed. But I will say it’s funny to me that without the thousands of years locked away in Hela the realm in isolation, Hela is basically only slightly angrier than normal Loki. Guess it’s Thor that isn’t that much like Dad, which is weird when you think about it. The voice cast was once again top notch. Kate Blanchet did well with this more comedic version of her Hela character. Jeff Bergman as Odin, Feodor Chin as Xu Wenwu, and Lauren Tom as Jiaya were all good sub ins for their live action counterparts. Lauren Tom is the one I’m least shocked by, as she’s played just about every animated Asian woman you’ve heard of over the last 20 years. Like, seriously, google her and you’ll see she’s been in something you’ve watched. I will say, while I question the overall message, I do like the idea that a Hela that found inner peace was significantly more powerful than the one that embraced causing pain. That’s a message that could always use more examples, “Be strong enough to be gentle,” as Peter Cullen (Optimus Prime) quotes his inspiration for Optimus’ voice, Larry Cullen said. So yeah, an okay episode that I have some issues with on a storytelling level. Next time, we find out why Peggy Carter got sent to the 1600s. 

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Viewer Log: What If...? ep 15

 Some lakes are forbidden for a reason.

Last time on What If…?, we got a follow up to Captain Margaret “Peggy” Carter finding the HYDRA Stomper on a cargo ship. The HYDRA Stomper powered up and tried to kill her and Black Widow. After escaping, Carter learned what happened to Steve. He’d spent the 40s and 50s destroying HYDRA bases with Bucky before disappearing in 1958. Natasha and Fury speculate he was captured by the Red Room and turned into their version of Winter Soldier. She learns of his next mission and goes to intercept him. The mission? To kill US Secretary of State James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes. They duke it out, Carter and Bucky both trying to break through Steve’s mind control but to no avail. Carter and Natasha are able to capture him and reboot him. He takes them to an old Soviet Era training city for the US. Carter and Natasha end up battling Nat’s mom Melina and a squad of Black Widows, and a mind-controlled Steve. Carter is finally able to break through his control by saying she doesn’t want to fight any more, she just wants him, regardless of if that means she dies her or not. Steve decides to sacrifice himself to destroy the mobile Red Room base. Natasha ties Melina to a rocketing off Steve, the two seemingly dying in the explosion. After, Carter tries to slip off to search for Steve, whom she believes is still alive. Natasha wants to help her, but before they can leave a portal of red energy opens up and sends her somewhere. A place that even the Watcher isn’t aware of. She meets a Ye olde version of Nick Fury and Wanda Maximoff, the latter assuring the former that Captain Carter will save their whole world.

 

Ep 15: What If Kahhori Reshaped the World?

 

This episode opens with the big change: Ragnarok happened. Instead of in the main MCU, where Ragnarok was held off for centuries and in the time of peace Odin hid the Tesseract on Earth, this time Surtur destroyed him and Asgard long before that could happen. Despite taking Surtur’s giant blade to it, the Tesseract somehow survived the destruction of Asgard and landed in a North American forest.

 

We cut over to a Mohawk village, the people harvesting their crops. A young woman, Kahhori, and a boy named Wahta, run off into the forest to shirk their chores. Kahhori and Mahta discover the corpse rotten to the bone. Wahta reminds Kahhori that this part of the forest is forbidden to them due to an old battle that cursed the land. Kahhori keeps walking, saying it’s only cursed because no one cleansed the land of blood after the battle. She mentions a blessed lake in this area powerful enough to take them to the Sky World. She thinks that the lake should have brought people together, but Wahta points out that according to their legends the lake also ate people. I can understand some conflict there. They find the lake, it’s a dinky little thing that ducks hang out in. They hear gunshots in the distance and realize it’s happening at their village.

 

They return to the village to discover it is under attack by Spanish Conquistadors. Most of their people seem to have been captured and some of their homes are burning. A group of Conquistadors spot them and chase the pair into the woods, they just barely escape by going up a steep hill. They fall through a cave and discover the true forbidden lake. Rather than the dinky thing topside, the real forbidden lake is an underground reservoir glowing with tesseract light. A conquistador follows them into the hole and sees the lake, saying that he has found what they were looking for. He hears Wahta moving and goes to attack him. Kahhori throws rocks at the conquistador who shoots her. She falls into the lake as Wahta is captured. She sinks to the bottom and is pulled toward the tesseract at the bottom. She’s transported through time and space to another world where she’s discovered by a man with glowing eyes and skin that still speaks Mohawk telling her to relax and welcoming her to Sky World.

 

The Watcher cuts in, explaining that the Tesseract found a new home among Kahhori’s ancestors after the fall of Asgard. It was split in to and released an immense amount of energy. Heroes, elders and such from the Mohawk and other tribes came to the lake and disappeared into it’s waters. A war was waged between the various groups over their lost kin, peace only being reestablished once everyone agreed the lake was cursed and to not go near it again.

 

Kahhori wakes up in the space Mohawk village dressed in their clothes. She enters the village to find more glowing people. The man who found her comes up to her and explains that the power of that stone she saw at the bottom of the lake seeps into everything here, granting the people unusual powers. We see some using telekinesis and one old woman manipulating rain clouds. Kahhori and the man, Atahraks, introduce themselves to each other. He explains that she got here through the lake, and when Kahhori mentions that the lake is curse now, he says that’s a good call. Lots of people went missing in the lake back when he was a child, including a cousin, whom is right behind them. Kahhori remembers Wahta is in danger and runs to try to get back to him.  She runs back to where she landed, unfortunately the portal is floating in the sky too high for her to reach. Atahraks joins her, saying that they were ‘meant’ to come here, that while they’re in this place they don’t age or die, but they can’t go back.

 

Back at her village we’re introduced to Rodrigo Alfonso Gonzalo, the Conquistador in charge of this attack, and he claims the “fountain of youth,” in the name off Queen Isabella of Spain. He claims their forbidden lake is the fountain of youth and demands to know where it is. He pulls a gun on a woman and demands to know where it is, when his men return with Wahta.

 

Kahhori climbs a tree to try to reach the portal. Atahraks tells Kahhori that the land wants to help her and that she just needs to slow down to feel it’s spirit. She notices she’s leaving a trail of blue light and then takes a leap, she soars into the air to the next branch, her eyes glowing blue when she lands. He’s impressed that she learned so quick and asked “what sort of clay” she’s made of, she answers Wolf and he nods that that makes sense. He says he has some turtle in him as the reach the top of the tree. Kahhori is impressed with the powers they have hear and can’t believe that they have limits. Atahraks says that many have tried to reach the portal, but it’s always just out of reach. She responds that they didn’t try hard enough and tries to telekinetically make a step with a branch. Unfortunately, the branch drops the moment she puts a foot on it. He says maybe they just accepted that this is their new home, but she refuses to do that. She lifts more branches and walks across two before falling. Atahraks says the record is 14 steps. She tries a few times, falling each time. A horn is played in the distance and Atahraks says that a hunt is being called and she’ll love it.

 

They return to the village and begin the hunt. The hunt is to capture a rare plant that grows slowly but builds up a lot of the planet’s ‘spirit.’ One of the elders raises a blossom and the plants awaken, revealing giant bison like bodies that start charging. Atahraks tells her to not worry as no one gets one their first try. The trick, it seems, is to jump over the beasts and pluck some of their scales. Kahhroi starts running, outpacing all of the other hunters and the bison themselves. She loses control, almost running into a wall, but then pitching to the side and almost getting trampled. She uses telekinesis and flips it over her head, pulling scales from it. She easily pulled the most crystals at the end of the day and celebrated.

 

Back on Earth, Gonzalo asks his men who is the first to want immortality. They all leap into the water, but nothing seems to happen. They start falling through, being pulled to the crystal at the bottom. Gonzalo declares this place cursed and orders the tribe taken back to Spain. His men decide they can plunder this place too and see the village in the distance.

 

Kahhori and the others are dancing to celebrate their hunt. Kahhori sees the conquistadors coming and stops their musket balls with a thought. She takes their guns and captures all of them with her mind, she sees Wahta’s necklace on one of them and rips it off him. She scolds the tribe from being away from the ‘bones of their ancestors” for too long. That this land gives them power and blessings but they’ve grown too comfortable here. They’ve forgotten their origin, but she won’t. The land seems to respond her desires, restricting the conquistadors in roots. She’s able to pull the portal to the ground. The other’s are hesitant to join her, but she says if they’re worthy of this place they will follow her. She breaches back to Earth.

 

She super speeds over to her village to find it burning and then races to the coast. She appears as a blue blur in the forest to the Conquistadors before attacking. She easily dispatches the conquistadors, her telekinetic powers letting her throw these guys left and right. The only chance they have is due to numbers as one person simply can’t stop hundred of soldiers. Gonzalo tries to overwhelm her with his ship’s cannons. She blocks several canon balls, but one breaks through and knocks her aside. Gonzalo draws his sword on her, but the other tribesmen arrive and many super powered Mohawks obliterate the Conquistadors. Kahhori finds Wahtan and returns his necklace to him. She tells Wahtan to pay attention as they’ll need new songs for what is done here today. Wahtan calls them Thunder People as they destroy the Spanish fleet.

 

The Watcher says that Kahhori changed the world because of her unwavering conviction to do the right thing, in both the face of miracle and devastation. He says it’s this very quality that makes them unable to stop with one victory. We cut to Spain where an envoy is telling Queen Isabella that it’s undeniable that they’ve lost their grip on the new world. Isabella refuses to accept that, but then Kahhori and several warriors portal into the throne room. Kahhori gives her a simple ultimatum, either they’ll have peace, or the Spanish will have no future. She humiliates Isabella by throwing her to the ground and then shattering her throne to make a point. Just before the credits roll, Strange Supreme portals in and says that he has been looking for her for a long time. Oh my.

 

The fact that this episode was done exclusively in Mohawk and Spanish, aside from Strange, was a bold choice. I am fine with subtitles; it just makes it a bit difficult for me to do a write up. I can type without looking at my computer screen but errors compound. The idea that the death of Asgard lead to such a fundamental change is interesting. Makes me wonder if this timeline has legends about Thor, since he very well could have been dead long before he and his friends came to Earth to party. Weird thought. I need to give props to Kahhori’s voice actress, Devery Jacobs. If the name seems familiar, she’s been in American Gods as Sam Black Crow and Reservation Dogs as Elora Danan. I guess she’s advocating for Kahhori to be brought into the mainline MCU and to play her in live action, which I say, yeah, give this gal what she wants. While there are a few Native American Marvel heroes, James Proudstar aka Warpath/Thunderbird, Danielle Moonstar aka Mirage, Forge, and Maya Lopez aka Echo are the big ones that come to mind, but Echo thus far is the only MCU character. Inclusion of Native characters played by Native actors is the very minimum we, as a society, can offer after things like white boy Taylor Lautner playing Jacob Black in Twilight and all the general horrible things that has been done to the Native Tribes, First Nation Peoples, American Indians, Indigenous Americans or whatever the most correct term for them is currently. I’m not trying to be flippant; I want to use the most widely accepted term for their peoples are but there isn’t really a consensus according to the overlord that is google. Anyway, loved the look of the Mohawk village on the other side of the tesseract portal. The electric blue goes well with the native designs. The final battle was really well done, I thought, with showing us how one sided the fight began but how quickly numbers and heavier artillery can even overcome superpowers. But then a squad of superpowered people can overwhelm heavier artillery. I’m curious as to why Strange Supreme is flying around again and what he needs Kahhori for. I really can’t read this guy’s vibe, if he’s still on the evil side of the spectrum or if he’s shifted to villain seeking redemption, so his plan could be literally anything. So yeah, good episode. Next time, 15.

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Viewer Log: What If...? ep 14

 Seems like regardless of MC Universe, a Cap and Black Widow end up as friends.  

Last time on What If…?, we saw what would have happened if Tony hadn’t made it back to Earth after defeating the Chitari. He fell through a wormhole and ended up a prisoner/guest of the Grandmaster. He witnessed the atrocities that was the Grandmaster’s rule, exemplified in a massive death race and wanted to do something about it. A decision that he became more adamant about after meeting Gamora. She’d been sent by her dad to kill Tony in vengeance. Tony escapes the Grandmaster with Korg and they recruit Valkyrie to defeat him. A grand race is performed with Tony, Valkyrie and Korg, Gamora, Grandmaster and Topaz participating. During the race, Tony is able to convince Gamora to give up on killing him. Tony crosses the finish line and the Grandmaster is melted by his own weapon. Valkyrie is named King of Sakaar and Tony leaves to return home. He’s grabbed by Gamora on his way out, though. This turns out to be fine, as the two team up to kill Thanos. What a crazy timeline. Enough recap. Let’s get to it.

 

Ep 14: What If Captain Carter Fought the Hydra Stomper

 

This episode opens with Captain Carter and Black Widow battling Chitari during the invasion of New York. This timeline’s Avengers consist of Captain Carter, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Iron Man, Thor, and Wasp. Guess Banner is off doing his own things. The team split off, with Carter and Nat going to cause some mayhem. They’re end up on the top of Avenger’s Tower and beat the snot out of Loki.

 

We cut to the Watcher in his space between spaces. He seems to still be making repairs from the Damage Ultimate Ultron wrecked upon it. He claims that he doesn’t normally do sequels, as there are infinite stories for him to tell, so what’s the point of revisiting old ones. But, he’s a Captain Margaret “Peggy” Carter fan, and wants to see more of her story. He also explains that this is the same Peggy from the Guardians of the Multiverse episode, which I think we all could have guessed but clarity is helpful.

 

Back in the timeline, Carter picks up Natasha for a Mission bestowed upon them by Nick Fury. They end up on a cargo ship, Natasha telling Carter she might want to prepare herself. Carter, who’d just gotten back from the Multiverse mission, says that this won’t be the weirdest thing she’d dealt with today. Turns out, the Pirates here were trying to get their hands on the HYDRA Stomper. Carter is excited at the thought that Steve is inside, but the Stomper powers up and starts firing at them. Natasha says this isn’t so much Steve as Robocop, and that they’ll rent the movie once it’s clear Carter doesn’t know the story. They battle with the Stomper, which has clearly gotten some upgrade since the 1940s, Carter throwing her shield and popping the Stomper’s faceplate to confirm Steve Rogers is inside it. Now sporting a beard. He launches missiles at the cargo ship, the super spies just barely escaping into the water.

 

Later, Carter grills Fury for lying to her that Steve was dead. We learn that in this timeline Steve kept on fighting with Bucky after she disappeared in an interdimensional rift. He disappeared on a mission in Argentina in 1953. He says that there’ve been rumors of the Stomper surviving since the 60s, but they didn’t tell Carter as that’s all they were, rumors. He goes on to say that if the Stomper is still around, it’s guilty of causing a lot of damage, killing SHIELD Agents not the least among them. … So I guess in this timeline the HYDRA Stomper is the Winter Soldier. Carter is insistent that Steve wouldn’t do that, but Natasha says that he might if the Red Room is controlling him. Carter is obviously hurt at the idea that Natasha had some idea that this was happening but didn’t tell her, but she doesn’t dwell on that. She tells Fury to have a medical team ready for when she gets back from the Red Room base, as there’s no telling how long Steve has been in that armor, but Fury says she should probably sit this one out. Fury and Natasha tell her that it’s too dangerous but she asks what the Stompers next mission is.

 

We cut to Secretary of State James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes. He’s arguing the details of an aid package to Sokovia, when Crossbones comes in to tell him they’re moving him to a secure location. Bucky says he might be old but he’s punched nazis and had beers with aliens, so he can take care of himself. The HYDRA Stomper flies in and starts shooting at him, but Carter slides in at the last second to save him, she orders them to fall back. Back at SHIELD, Fury gives Nat the green light to kill the Stomper on sight.

 

As Bucky falls back to the roof from extraction, Carter tells him Steve is the one in the Stomper. She asks what’s powering it without the Tesseract, he says it’s something Howard cooked up after the war, making Carter think she can break it. The Stomper busts into the stairwell and Carter drops onto him, riding him out into the lobby before being bucked off. The Stomper flies around, destroying quinjets before cornering Bucky in a hallway. Natasha flies in with her quinjet and prepares to fire, but Bucky gets up and tries to reach out to Steve. He says they’ll go get a drink like in the old days. He gets the Stomper to drop it’s guard for a second, but he prepares to shoot him again. But Carter arrives and knocks his arm aside. She rides the Stomper into the sky, bashing it’s skull repeatedly. She finally hits him hard enough to short-out his system. As they Drop, Natasha flies up and grabs them, they fly off to St. Kilda Scotland to work on Carter.

 

They examine Steve, learning the suit has kept Steve alive and young for the last few decades. Unfortunately, the suit is all that is keeping him alive, so they can’t get him out of it. They start the reboot process. While they wait, Carter says that according to their readings, Steve’s chance of survival plummet with each activation, which is why the Red Room used him sparingly since the 60s. She and Nat share a drink. Natasha asks if they shouldn’t go to Stark or Banner for help, but Carter is sure they can’t help. Her plan is to go to the Red Room to get whatever cure they have for Steve. Natasha tells her that she joined SHIELD days after tracking and killing the head of the Red Room in a sewer, but the organization survived because their base is secret. Not even SHIELD can find it, but a powered-up Steve says he can show them. Carter is clearly ecstatic to see Steve, but Natasha looks… concerned.  

 

The trio fly out to an old KGB training facility designed to look like an America city circa 1950. Steve tells them he reported to the Red Room that he was damaged and needs repairs. They have a little time before his repair team arrives. Natasha leaves them to talk. They catch up on what they missed and almost kiss, right before the robots populating the city start attacking them. Natasha joins them and they start shooting robots. They’re overwhelmed by the robots and their Widow Bites, the women dropping, and Stomper forcibly shut down. The Red Room floating base appears in the sky. They’re joined by Melina and Black Widow agents. She reveals that even Steve’s ‘rebooting’ was part of the plan to capture Captain Carter. She offers for them to surrender and come willingly, but neither of them wants that. While Natasha handles her mom and sisters, Carter and Steve go to fight some things out.

 

They smash up the town good in their brawl, ending up on the big water tower. Carter keeps trying the old shouting “wake up” and hitting him gambit, but it doesn’t appear to work. Steve shoots the tower struts and it falls to the ground, nearly on top of Natasha as well as Carter. Night has fallen and the Red Room is still looking for them. Carter approaches the Stomper and reminds him that he owes her a date. Natasha meanwhile distracts her sisters, taking out the lot of them. Then it’s  just her and mama. The Stomper keeps throwing cars at Carter and shooting her, but she’s not going down. She gets in close and knocks his helmet open. She says she’s done fighting and just wants him back. He wants to be with him even if this is the end. This seems to wake him up, he steps back and looks up at the Red Room. She sense what he’s going to do and tells him not to, but he flies up before she can stop him. Natasha sees him, fires a grappling hook around his leg and ties it to Melina. They fly up together to the Red Room as he starts firing. Carter gets to Natasha, and they fall back as the Red Room falls.

 

The Watcher pops in to say that this isn’t exactly a happy ending, but then again, this isn’t the ending just yet. We cut to Carter sneaking out of the Avengers base, planning to take one of Tony’s cars. Natasha cuts her off, asking where she’s going. Carter explains that she believes that Steve is out there and she’s going to find him. Natasha agrees to help. The Watcher appears to pontificate about how powerful and all knowing he is, just for a bit of weird red energy to appear and open a portal under Carter. She disappears, Natasha asking where she went and the Watcher saying, “That’s a very good question.”

 

Carter wakes up to a Nick Fury and Scarlet Witch dressed in Ren Faire gear. Fury asks if this is the “one” that will save their queen, to which Wanda says she’s the one that will save their world.

 

Okay, so this was basically Captain America: Winter Soldier and Black Widow mixed into one. The Red Room is subbing in for HYDRA, which I guess we can assume was destroyed for good by a grieving Steve by the 50s. The HYDRA Stomper gives off a very Crimson Dynamo vibe with it’s red starred shoulders and other upgrades. The comment about him having basically a limited number of uses does a solid job of explaining why this cyborg wasn’t killing for the Kremlin during the entirety of the Cold War. Peggy battling for her love was pretty sweet. Though the fact that Steve is essentially Peggy’s Winter Soldier feels like it’s implying a lot about Steve and Bucky’s relationship in the main timeline. Just saying. The big brawl at the end in a creepy, Fallout Style 1950s city was well done. The robots filling the place were creepy as hell, and having Carter, the Widows and the Smashers wrecking the place was cathartic. I’m not a huge fan of breaking mind control by just being sincere, but I suppose they couldn’t work any more head trauma into Steve for that to be believable. The teaser for the finale, I assume, is interesting. A past universe style Avengers could be cool, but with just ye old Nick and Wanda as a hint, I have no idea where this is going. But yeah, fun mashup episode. Next time, 15.

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Viewer Log: What If...? ep 13

 Deathrace is space, sounds fun.

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Viewer Log: What If... ep 12

 Happy Hogan gets to be John McClane, neat.

Last time on What If…? we saw what would have happened if Peter Quill had been brought to his father, Ego, as planned. Turns out, he’d have lasted six months living under his dad before trying to bail back to Missouri. Unfortunately, his immense power combined with being a literal child caused him to wreak a lot of destruction on the way there, necessitating the formation of a 1980s Avengers. Ant-Man/Hank Pym, Goliath/Bill Foster, Black Panther/T’Chaka, Mar-Vel/Wendy Lawson, and the Winter Soldier and brought in to handle the threat. They’re able to capture the boy, with an assist from Thor. Hank’s daughter Hope, though, speaks with Peter and frees him when she learns he just wants to go home and the planets he destroyed were really his dad’s work. Ego arrives to Ego-form Earth. Hank convinces Peter to fight with them, and Howard Stark is able to break through Winter Soldier’s programming to the Bucky underneath. Peter uses the Seedling his father was going to use to Ego-form Earth to enhance himself enough to destroy Ego’s Avatar. After a thanksgiving style dinner, Thor announces he’s going into space to fight and finish off Ego once and for all and the other Avengers elect to go with him. Enough recap. Let’s get to it.

 

Ep 12: What If Happy Hogan Saved Christmas

 

Parodying ‘twas the Night Before Christmas’ opening lines, The Watcher shows us Cap and Iron Man fighting a horrible monster. He then decides we need some additional context and backtracks a little. Two hours previous, Happy Hogan and Darcy are trying to set up an Avenger’s holiday gala with some assists from Iron Drones. It’s chaotic, but things seem to be going well. The situation is somewhat complicated by the fact that JARVIS has been shut down to defrag his program… or something. Maria Hill arrives and lets us know that this gala is a big deal and that Happy is being tasked with making sure it goes down perfectly. Darcy heads out to get some last-minute supplies, and just misses Justin Hammer and some goons coming in pretending to deliver flowers. ,,, No… they couldn’t be…

 

The Watcher quickly gives us the overview about Justin Hammer and the plot of Iron Man 2. Industrialist that almost got the Stark Expo destroyed, went to prison, recently was paroled and is now looking for payback.

 

Hammer and his goons bust in and he uploads something into the Stark System. He claims the plot of A Christmas Story as his own, saying that he didn’t get that BB Gun because this is America and you have to take the things you want. The upload is completed and now Hammer has full control of Stark Tower. He summons the Iron Drones to him and Happy bemoans that the Tower is failing within five minutes of shutting down JARVIS. The Drones are reprogrammed to attack on sight staff. Damn.

 

Happy finds Hammer and his men in one of the labs. Turns out, his plan is to steal a sample of Hulk’s blood and use it to turn him into a “superhero.” He claims he’s already smarter than 10 Tony Starks and with the blood he’ll be stronger than 12 Captain Americas. No I don’t know where he’s getting these numbers. Happy radios into Maria and lets her in on Hammer’s plan. He says that Tony has been messing with the Blood to see if he can make Banner go Hulk without losing control to… mixed results. Hammer leaves his men to break into the lab, nearly catching Happy but just missing him as he climbed onto the elevator roof. Maria tells him to secure the blood while she handles Hammer. He leaps off the elevator into one of the giant air ducts to do just that.

 

Okay, yeah, looks like we’re doing a Marvel Die Hard. 

 

Hammer heads to Tony’s personal wet bar and make himself a cocktail. Or tried to, Maria shoots the bottle and tells him to surrender peacefully. Hammer declares himself to be Tony’s greatest nemesis, to which Maria throws back “What are you, a wealth tax?” Oo, 3^rd degree burns on that one.

 

The goons continue to try to break into the lab with a sledgehammer as Happy gets in through the vent. He looks for the blood but can’t find it from his position. He almost falls out of the vent, and then almost drop his radio but catches himself both times. We hear Hammer gloating about his combat skills over the radio. He ends his little tirade by declaring the most important lesson he learned in prison. Cheating is for winners. An explosion knocks Maria off her feet and seems to send the vents crashing to the ground. The goons see Happy, and he hurries to find the Hulk blood. He finds the syringe and grabs it but drops it when the goons start shooting at him, sticking himself in the leg and causing him to start transforming. He escapes, crediting years of working for an over caffeinated mad scientist for why he knows what chemicals to throw to make a smokescreen. Maria radios Happy, telling him her leg is broken and that it’s up to him to save the Tower. Hammer rejoins her and she smashes her radio to keep him from getting to Happy.

 

Happy slips into a lab to hide for a few minutes. One of the Drones comes in and he hides from it in a locker. He sees a “teamwork” poster and figures he could use some of that right now. He calls up Natasha, whom is currently being held at gunpoint by a HYDRA Agent at a performance of the Nutcracker. So yeah, she’s a bit busy. His arm hulks out a bit, which is worrying. He calls up Tony, but he and Cap are playing Santa and Elf at the local mall. He hangs up before he can hear the situation because the soccer moms have cornered Steve. He calls up Bruce, who is with Clint. They’re surrounded by screaming kids because Clint has the last Iron Man figure and are not happy with him. Bruce is begging him to just give it to the kids, so he doesn’t hear Happy’s plea either. Happy’s limbs fully hulks out, smashing the drone that was looking for him into pieces.

 

Darcy radios in to Happy about getting the cherries she was sent out for and gets the lowdown on the situation. She says get JARVIS to call in the Army or the Avengers, giving Happy the lightbulb moment to go to JARVIS’ mainframe and reboot him to get control back of Tony’s gear. This’ll be much harder with his hulk limbs, just saying.

 

The goons find Happy and start firing on him. He blocks them with a work bench and then leaps out a window, using a line of Spandex to swing him back into the building. He fully hulks out and decides to try it out. Darcy checks in on him as she begins hacking the system, she talks about how simple the system is… only for a wall to peel back and reveal a huge room of servers. Happy asks he if she thought the doorknob, was the real mainframe. The goons hear the plan and Hammer tells them to meet him at the penthouse. Darcy starts perusing the possible alt JARVIS’ settling on WERNER just as a drone bust in and grabs her. Hammer gets a radio working and tells Happy that he ruined his plan to ‘rebrand’ himself with the Hulk blood. He plans on getting it back by dissecting Happy, something that he’ll come up to do willingly the penthouse or Darcy gets it. He warns Happy to not be a hero… but this is a Superhero anthology.

 

Hammer, being a dick, is opening up the Avenger’s gifts to each other as the elevator dings. Hammer orders his goons to shoot. They hit what’s in elevator, which turns out to be a mannequin with a Confetti arrow stuck to its back. After that goes off, Happy bursts into the room and starts shattering drones. Hammer’s goons run off, saying he doesn’t pay them enough for this, and Hammer runs off to get to the Avenger’s Armory. Happy frees Maria and Darcy, tells them to finish rebooting JARVIS and chases after Hammer. He has to clear out a huge squad of drones to get to him, but that’s easy with his hulk strength. He bursts into the lab just in time for Hammer to call in Hulkbuster Armor. The two duke it out while Darcy and Maria do their best to bootup WERNER. Unfortunately, WERNER isn’t cooperating, so they need to leave the fighting to Happy. He gets beaten badly by the Hulkbuster, but then flips out and starts ripping into the Hulkbuster. The Avenger’s arrive and start kicking Happy’s ass until Darcy get them to stop. Tony disables the Hulkbuster with one click and Happy’s roar of frustration causes Hammer to fall backwards out a window. He almost goes full Hans Gruber, but Happy saves him. They Avengers and Happy go to enjoy the party… Tony conveniently not answering Happy when he asks if he’s stuck like this. Oops.

 

Well, was not expecting Marvel presents Die Hard, but that was fun. I’ve always enjoyed Jon Favreau’s Happy Hogan and Kat Dennings Darcy, so the two together was fun. The jokes about all the places Darcy has interned at were great, particularly one where Maria Hill asks her if she ever had a real paying job before. How they disabled all the Avengers so Happy could have his time to shine were great. Nat at the Nutcracker, Tony and Steve playing Santa, and Clint and Bruce doing shopping were all great. Though… this does raise the question of when this happens. Why? Clint only revealed his family to the team during Avenger’s 2, and that ended with JARVIS merging with the Mind Stone and becoming Vision. So like… did he reveal that earl in this timeline? Or was Vision on vacation? Who knows. Bringing Sam Rockwell’s Justin Hammer back to play they’re Hans was great. He had some really good holiday word play, and his plan was reasonable. Break in, steal blood, and rebrand himself. Short, sweet and to the point. Hulked out Happy was a neat concept, he was hideous but effective as hell. I just wish the fight with the Hulkbuster had lasted a bit longer. And that’ all I have to say about that. Next time, episode 13.

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Viewer Log: What If...? ep 11

The roster might be different, but they're still Earth's Mightiest Heroes. 

Last time on What If…?, we learned what would have happened if Nebula joined the Nova Corps. In this alt timeline, Ronan the Accuser successfully betrayed Thanos, killing him and Gamora in the process. Nebula, lost and wanting to find a reason to live, joined the Nova Corps at Nova Prime’s behest. Shortly after her induction, Ronan came to attack Xandar. They sealed off the planet behind a forcefield that should last fifty years. Five years in and things kind of suck. Lot of crime, lot of restlessness, that ort of thing. Nebula discovers Yondu’s corpse and investigates his death. She found his arrow and learned he’d gotten schematics on something. She is told by Nova Prime to do whatever it took to solve this case. She goes to her contact, Howard the Duck, and his bartender Korg let her know what she had was a schematic for a data core, one that has the shield network’s codes on it. Deciding time is of the essence, Nebula frees Yon-Rogg from prison, planning to use his hacking skills to get into the core. They get inside and Nebula downloads the codes, but she’s immediately betrayed by Yon-Rogg, who is working with Nova Prime on a grander double cross. Ronan had promised her she could keep her position if she surrendered the planet to him. They try to execute Nebula but fail. Though she’s very badly damaged in the fall. She goes back to Howard, who repairs her and outfits her with weapons, in exchange for defending his liquor license. Nebula, sporting Yondu’s fin, Howard, Groot, Korg and Meek attack Nova headquarters. They’re too late to stop the gate from opening, but then Nebula reveals her play. She had realized Nova Prime was setting her up when Prime told her to solve the case by any means necessary, which goes against their oath of office. So she rewrote the codes to open the gate just long enough for an overconfident Ronan to fly in and be crushed between the gates. Howard and Co take on the lesser Corps traitors while Nebula fights Prime. She forces Prime’s escape pod to crash, and the traitor kills herself when she attempts to shoot Nebula, misses, and falls to her death due to kickback of her gun. Ronan is dead, the Nova Corps can be saved, and Nebula is a hero, all’s well that ends well. Enough recap. Let’s get to it.

 

Ep 11: What If Peter Quill Attacked Earth’s Mightiest Heroes

 

This episode begins with a UFO entering Earth’s atmosphere. The object is shot down and crashes into 1988’s New York City. The object, revealed to be a pod, opens and a young Peter Quill steps out. The Watcher lets us know Peter’s here to destroy the planet and maybe the whole universe with it. Peter shows that he’s got his full Celestial Powers by telekinetically throwing and car at some cops.

 

The Watcher fills us in on the background of this timeline, that six month before, Peter was abducted by the Ravagers six months ago. Unlike in the Sacred Timeline, Yondu hands him over to his father Ego the Living Planet. Ego planned on remaking the universe in his own image and now that he has Peter’s power added to his own, nothing could stop them. Peter, infused with Celestial power, goes on a rampage through New York. Peggy explains to Howard Stark and SHIELD that they’ve been following the boy’s trail through the galaxy and solar systems tend to go up in flames about a day after he touches down. Howard cracks that he thought Tony was a pain in the ass. Peggy suggests forming a team from the best and brightest to stop him. Howard is skeptical because of the Cold War, but Peggy’s confident in her plan and he asks who she wants for the team.

 

We cut to Hank Pym having troubles parenting a young Hope. Howard calls, Hank hangs up, Howard calls him back and tells him to turn on the TV.  Hope already had and Hank says to send the plane. Hank asks Hope if she wants to go to work with Dad.

 

They head to an Airforce base and we meet the rest of the team, Bill Foster aka Goliath, King T’Chaka aka the Black Panther, and the Winter Soldier. We get a little world building background, T’Chaka revealing that his father was the one to donate the Vibranium they used in Cap’s SHIELD, and Peggy recognizing the Winter Soldier on sight. Peggy says that cosmic radiation is building along the boy’s path and if they don’t hurry the Eastern seaboard won’t be habitable for millenia. Hank’s unsure if they can make it in time, but then we learn they’re taking an experimental jet, piloted by Wendy Lawson aka Mar-Vel of the Kree. They fly at high speed and arrive in New York as Peter hits Coney Island.

 

While Mar-Vel secures the pod, T’Chaka, Bill and Hank go after Peter. The plan is to distract Peter long enough to get him into a containment field. Hank goes in mini, using a swarm of Ants to scare Peter toward s their trap. Hank lures him into a mirror maze. When inside, a laser grid kicks on and traps Peter. T’Chaka says resistance will make this more difficult. Peter blasts him away. Bill drops a container on him, but gets blasted back. Winter Soldier flies in and prepares to fire, but Mar-Vel tells him that if her ship blows there won’t be anything left to save, so he backs off. She gets Peter to destroy his pod, but her jetpack is ruined in the explosion. She almost falls to her death but Bill catches her. The heroes gather, and Hank suggests a tactical retreat. They try to fall back, but Peter telekinetically grabs the ship. Before he can kill them, though, Thor drops in, knocking Peter out.

 

They put Peter in a containment pod, Thor explaining that Peter destroyed Jotunheim, Asgard and the six other of the ‘nine realms’ until Earth was all that remained. Thor shows them Ego’s Seed, a bit of his essence he planted in Missouri, and explains that Peter’s here to ‘light the fuse’ on it, destroying Earth and reformatting it into Ego. Howard asks why they can’t just destroy it but Thor says that only a Celestial can destroy it. Hank says that it’s a good thing they have one.

 

We cut to Hope listening to her Walkman and singing out, using a key card to enter restricted areas. She finds Peter and they bond over both loving music. Peter reveals he’s from Earth to her and that he also has a dead mom. He convinces Hope to help free him. As the alarm blares, Hank just now notices he’s missing his Pym particles, keycard, and his daughter. Hope, as it turns out, used the particles to shrink Peter’s container down and tries to carry it out. Once outside, she pops him free and gives him her Walkman as she tells him to hit the bus station just outside of town. The heroes find Hope, who tells them that Peter isn’t destroying the planets he travels to, but his dad, he’s just trying to get back to Missouri. Hank asks her if she knows anything more specific about where he’s going. Thor is impatient and says he’s going to go find Peter and bring him to Asgardian justice. Winter Soldier is on board with the ‘kill the kid’ plan, but everyone else objects. Hope says that the right thing to do here is to help Peter along with the rest of the world.

 

Peter heads toward Missouri, ignoring telepathic messages from Ego. Ego, unfortunately, tracks him to Earth and decides he’s going to finish what Peter started. The Seedling, Thor saying it’s ‘master nears.” They detect Ego’s ship just as it lands. T’Chaka advises that instead of fighting both Celestials, they get Peter to fight Ego for them. Mar-Vel and Hank go to pick up Peter while T’Chaka, Thor, Bill, and Peggy try to hold off Ego. Mar-Vel asks if they’re sure a child will willingly fight their parent, and Hank scoffs saying she obviously doesn’t have kids.

 

Ego says that he’s not here to destroy Earth but to make it part of him. He summons up an army of golems of himself and the fight begins. Peggy’s tank battalion holds off golems while the heroes unleash hell on Ego. Right up until Ego forms a mountain sized body for himself. Peggy tells Howard to get the Seedling out of there. Howard thinks this is a job for the Winter Soldier, but he’s ignoring Howard’s calls. Why? He’s going to assassinate Peter. Hank and Mar-Vel arrive at Peter’s mom’s grave and find the boy kneeling over it. Mar-Vel says she thinks she can hold him, but Hank says that this eight-year-old boy will only help if they can make him want to. Hank goes to talk to Peter as Winter Soldier’s handler to kill him. Peter tells Hank that his father has some sort of control over him and that’s why the planet’s he goes to end up burning. He thought coming home would make him not feel so alone, but without his mom it doesn’t feel like home. Hank tells Peter he gets it, he felt the same after Jan disappeared. He says the pain, anger and loneliness can make you feel like Drowning, but he can’t let that happen.

 

At the same time, Bill gets even bigger and tries to destroy more golems, but he and the others are starting to get overwhelmed. Winter Soldier is ordered to take the shot, but Howard hacks him comline and tries to reason with the part of Bucky that is still in Winter Soldier’s head. He says Howard doesn’t know him, but Howard says Cap did and the friend that Captain America loved so dearly would never take that shot. Hank offers to take him home and the two hug, the moment being enough to keep Bucky from taking the shot. Howard muses that fifty years later and Steve is still saving his ass, just as the seedling gets grabbed by Ego’s energy tendrils.

 

Ego almost gets the seedling, but Mar-Vel flies in and she drops Hank and Peter off. They grab the Seedling and enter Ego’s giant body. Ego reveals that he killed Peter’s mom to make sure the expansion happens and that in time he’ll accept that this had to happen. Peter, pissed off, takes the Seedling into himself and says he’s going to use it to destroy Ego. Ego says that deep down he always knew Peter was just a human, to which Peter said his mom called him a Star-Lord before shooting him. Ego is destroyed in the blast as are all his golems.

 

Later, the team have dinner at the Pym house. Mar-Vel gives the kids Goose before asking if anyone knows where Winter Soldier is. Howard says that he’s gone, but he thinks that bit of Bucky woke up so they shouldn’t worry too much about Winter Soldier coming after them. Thor thanks them for the meal but he needs to head out. Why? Well, Peter destroyed Ego’s form here on Earth, but the universe won’t be safe until the main Ego is defeated. They point out that they’re sort of a team, so where’s their invite. Thor tells them to suit up.

 

This was a fun “What If” idea. I liked that while this timeline’s Avengers is significantly different from the main MCU version. Sure, it has Thor on the roster but that’s the main similarity. We have instead of an armored genius, two assassins, a Hulk, Thor and living legend, a non-armored genius, two size changers, an assassin, a Panther, Thor, and a living legend’s love. Oh, and an alien pilot. Makes for a different team dynamic. Having them face off against the Celestial father and son of Ego and Peter was an interesting choice. The power scaling was not in their favor, but I liked that they found a way around that, what with having Hank empathize with Peter over their personal losses and helping Peter onto a better path. I liked that ultimately it was Hope that figured most of this out. It might be a bit of a cliché, but often ya do need a kid to talk to a kid to get the full picture of their situation. This is true of abusive households as well as escaping world ending monster parents, just saying. Also, if she’s there, I do hope this version of the Avengers save Mantis too.  Just saying.  So… yeah, good episode. Next time, number 12.

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Viewer Log: What If...? ep 10

 Nebula works well as a Noir cop in space. 

Let’s round out the year with What If…? season 2. Last time on What If…?, a variant of Ultron defeated the Avengers, killed most sentient life in his home galaxy and used the 6 Infinity Stones to make himself into a God. Using this newfound power, he was able to detect the Watcher Watching him and attempted to kill him. The Watcher escaped, but realizing the danger this Ultron put on the Multiverse, went to different timelines to gather a Guardians of the Multiverse Team to help him. He grabbed Captain Sharon Carter, Black Panther Killmonger, Party Thor, Star-Lord T’Challa, Gamora who had killed her Thanos, and Dr. Strange Supreme. The plan is to somehow start getting Infinity Stones’ from Ultron and use a device Gamora brought that can break them down to subatomic particles. The group are able to battle Ultron for a while but he’s simply too powerful for them to put down easily. They’re able to get the Soul Stone from him, with help from a zombie Scarlet Witch, and try to break the stone. They lose time when Black Widow from Ultron’s dimension arrives, but they get the stone into the device. Unfortunately it isn’t calibrated to this universe’s Infinity Stones and thus doesn’t work. With not much hope left, Natasha grabs and launches a USB Arrow at Ultron, one she’d piked up with her Clint before his death the previous episode. The USB had a copy of Arnim Zola’s mind on it and he overwrites Ultron’s consciousness. Killmonger then tries to betray everyone and steals the Infinity Stones. Or tries to Zola powers back up and tries to keep them. Strange Supreme realizes the final plan here and use his powers to trap them both in a time bubble. He’s then sent back to hiss destroyed dimension, to hold Killmonger and Zola in their eternal struggle forever. Everyone else is sent back to their home dimension, sans Natasha, who is dropped off into the Universe where Pym went insane and murdered all of the OG Avengers except Captain America. She’s going to be Cap’s backup. And Carter is dropped off just in time to find out they found her Steve. Everyone gets what they deserve.

 

Now, onto season 2

 

Ep 10: What if Nebula Joined the Nova Corps

 

We open with Nebula welcoming people to Xandar. She claims that everyone’s luck on this planet runs out eventually, even Yondu’s. She’d just found his corpse and is going to investigate his murder. Her superiors want to just write it off and move on, but Nebula wants justice for Yondu. One of the Nova Corps officer, Garthan Saal, tells her that they don’t need Black Order trash mucking things up, but Nebula tells him that she’s former Black Order and that she will solve the case.

 

We get the usual opening monologue about the multiverse from the Watcher before we learn how this timeline came to be. Namely, in this universe, Ronan the Accuser betrayed and killed Thanos, along with Gamora. Without her father or sister, Nebula was lost before being picked up by the Nova Corps and recruited by Nova Prime. Ronan decided to wipe out Xandar, bombarding it from space. Nova Prime elected to shield their planet behind a full forcefield, designed to cut them off from the rest of the universe for fifty years. Unfortunately, five years in, and Xandar is worse than New York on a bad day.

 

Nebula begins her investigation. She says that Saal’s group wasted time looking for the murder weapon, while she realized it’d be much more important to find the victims. This Nebula crossed paths with Yondu as well and thus knew his weapon of choice is his whistle controlled arrow. She played a recording of him that involved him whistling and she got the arrow to return to her.  She catches it and it plays for her some schematic. She runs a search on it but no one on the legit or dark nets have any info on it. As she flies, Nova Prime contacts her. Prime says she trusted Nebula when she recruited her and is going to trust her now, going on to tell her to switch to a secure channel. On the secure channel, Prime tells her that Xandar is in trouble and that Yondu got wrapped up in it. A “dark force” is on the rise, and that they may only have until sunrise to stop them. Nebula mentions having the schematics and Prime tells her to do whatever is necessary to stop this.

 

Nebula lands and enters an underground casino. We see the Guardians there as well, Groot is rolling craps and Drax breaks a slot machine before being taken out by security. Korg is at the bar and tells Nebula ‘the big man,” is at the poker table. She goes up and meets him, Howard the Duck. I hate that I keep running into this thing. Nebula throws the arrow at him and makes him talk. She shows her the schematics, and while he knows this is big, he doesn’t know what it’s for. Korg brings them drinks, and he recognizes it. He says it’s an old city-wide mainframe corps, a B-42 model. The core will have all sorts of data on it, including an actual kitchen sink, unpaid parking tickets, and the important one, shield schematics. Nebula realizes that whoever is after that source code wants to shut the shield down and that’s bad due to Ronan sticking around. She’s going to get into the mainframe to destroy the codes before they can get out. Howard and Korg warn her that might be a one way trip, but she’s committed.

 

She realizes that she’ll need a hacker to get into the mainframe and heads to a prison to get prisoner X2357. This turns out to be Yon-Rogg. You remember him, he was Captain Marvel’s superior when she was part of the Kree military. She busts him out of prison, saying that she needs him to hack into Xandarian security. She stages a prison riot to give them cover and escape. I feel like she probably could have released him using proper channels but what are you going to do.

 

They head to the facility, busting in and then slide down a cable to the core facility. Yon-Rogg begins hacking the system, flooding the chamber they’re in but allowing them to enter into the corp. Nebula uses her cybernetics to access the core and downloads the data she needs, and deletes the source code. She tries to log out, but Yon-Rogg gets her with a Space USB that downloads the data he needed and stalled out her log out, basically trapping her in stasis while the core begins to overheat. He tells her that Ronan has big plans for Xandar. Nebula seems to be filled with enough rage to free herself from the log out lock and just barely gets away before the core explodes.

 

She’s found by Nova Prime and Yon-Rogg. Turns out, this was all a set up. Nova Prime made a deal with Ronan. She surrenders the planet to Ronan, and she’ll keep her position. But, in order to finish off this little coup, she needed a cyborg to access the core. Hence why she set up Nebula. The other Nova Corps members are ordered to execute Nebula and melt down her pieces when they’re done. They try to beat her to death with tasers, but she breaks free of them and leaps off the building. They say she died, but Nebula obviously survived the drop. She’s badly damaged, but functional. She limps back to Howard’s casino, where Groot, Korg and Meek are playing rock-paper-scissors. She says she needs a drink, a gun, and an arm. She tries to get up, shorts out and crashes to the ground.

 

They take her in back and fix her up. She asks for guns now that she’s repaired. Howard plays coy, saying that even ‘if’ he has military grade weapons, why would he risk busting them out. Hearing about the coup doesn’t move him, or stopping suffering, but when Nebula says Nova Prime will come for his liquor license, he orders his men to move out. Nebula even puts on Yondu’s fin and coat.

 

Nebula and her crew take out most of the Nova Corps guards with relative ease. They reach Nova Prime’s command base. Nova Prime tells her it’s too late, the codes have been uploaded and the shield is opening. Ronan’s ship is entering through the gap. Nebula tells her that she wouldn’t be too sure of that. It’s revealed that Nebula altered the codes, having the shield open for just long enough for an over eager Ronan to fly his ship through the opened hatch before snapping shut again, killing him. She says that she saw Yon-Rogg’s double cross coming, so used her machine brain to alter the codes. It’s revealed she knew something was wrong from the moment Nova Prime told her to solve this case by any means necessary. A firefight breaks out, Howard and his bruisers take out the corrupt Nova Corps members and Yon-Rogg while Nebula chases Nova Prime. She gets to her former boss just before take-off and makes her crash her ship. Nebula tries to save Nova Prime, but she pulls a gun on Nebula and tries to shoot her. The shot misses and Nova Prime falls to her death. The Shield opens fully and Howard congradulates her for a job well done. I feel like this story needs to point out who’s in charge of the planet now that Nova Prime is dead… but okay.

 

This was an okay start to season 2.  I think this story could have used a full hour to tell instead of thirty minutes. Jumping from crime to breakout to heist to showdown is just a lot to cover in a half hour. If they’d drawn the story out a little more, the betrayal of Nova Prime could have been a bit more impactful, as well as Nebula’s triple cross. That said, Nebula as a gritty no-nonsense cop in a besieged Xandar works extremely well. Karen Gillian is a great voice actor, so her performance was solid all the way through. Same for Taika Waititi as Korg and Seth Green as Howard the Duck, but they have much more experience at that so I’m less surprised. Jude Law as Yon-Rogg was fine. So long as no one is as bad as Sebastian Stan was in season one, I’ll have zero voice acting complaints. Outfitting Nebula in Yondu’s gear including his backup fin was a nice touch. There’s really not much more to say here. It was a fun short story that I think could have been stretched out a little, and I personally hate Howard the Duck even if he’s played by one of my favorite voice actors, Seth Green. Next time, episode 11. 

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