Friday, December 31, 2021

Viewer Log: What If...? ep 3

Death comes for Earth's Mightiest Heroes. 

Last time on What If…? we saw what would have happened if Yandu had trusted two idiots with the important job of kidnapping Peter Quill. The result, they kidnapped T’Challa of Wakanda instead. Turns out, this might have been a very good thing, as this Star-Lord actively tried to make the universe a better place, having saved Drax’s family from death, convinced Thanos to not genocide the universe, and been famous enough to make Korath geek out at meeting him. He is recruited by Nebula, who isn’t as screwed up in the main timeline, to get the Embers of Genesis from the Collector’s collection. His Ravagers face off against the Collector and the Black Order, everyone getting captured when it’s revealed that Nebula double crossed them. In the capture, T’Challa also learned Wakanda still exists, even though Yandu told him it was destroyed. Yandu tells him it was for hi own good, to keep him traveling the universe, but T’Challa isn’t buying it. They all escape from the Collector, Nebula actually triple crossing the Collector and working with T’Challa the whole time. They get the Embers, destroy a part of Knowhere and T’Challa even goes home to see his family again. This universe would be sitting pretty… if the final scene wasn’t Ego tracking down and meeting Peter himself. Crap. But enough recap, let’s get to it.

 

Episode 3: What If Earth Lost Its Mightiest Heroes

Well, crap.

 

After the Watcher’s usual speech about the prism of time, we start with Nick Fury and Natasha Romanov riding up to the Big Donut during the events of Iron Man 2 when Tony was in a hate spiral. They disagree on whether Tony will be worth if for the Avenger’s Initiative, but Nick is in charge so he get’s his way. Nick and Tony have the chat in the Donut shot, Natasha giving him the shot that is supposed to give him enough time to design the new element to save him from Palladium poisoning. But, instead, he has an allergic reaction and dies. Damn, way too soon to kill Tony.

 

The Watcher gives us the short summary of the events of Iron Man 2, The Incredible Hulk, and Thor, which all happened in the same week. I didn’t realize it was that tight of a timeline. He talks about how this led to the Avengers in one universe, but not in this one.

 

This has to be like the 50th time this has happened
to Nat.

Nick is dealing with the death of Tony Stark while Thor’s hammer crash landed. He tells Coulson to set up a perimeter and wait for him. Natasha is being brought in for questioning. Nick pulls her aside to interview her. He tasks her with escaping custody and finding out what happened. Considering this is Natasha Romanoff, she’s getting free in no time. Which she does, picking her cuffs in under a minute and beating the hell out of all the guards in back and escaping.

 

In New Mexico, Fury and Hawkeye are looking at Thor’s hammer as Odinson is breaking into the facility to get it. Fury is hoping that the persosn coming to get this mega-ultra-hammer is an ally. They detect Thor taking them all out. Hawkeye prepares to shoot but is told to hold. Thor goes for the hammer, but in a lightning flash, Hawkeye’s arrow launches and hits him in the chest. Oh my god, They’ve killed Thor. You Bastards! Sorry, been watching a lot of South Park lately. Hawkeye is arrested and put into holding.

 

Hawkeye is trying to figure out what could have possibly happened, as he doesn’t miss or misfire. Coulson notes to Fury how weird it is that Stark and the man with 1000-year-old alien DNA died within 24 hours of each other. Fury goes in to talk to him, only to find Hawkeye is also dead. Fury thinks it was murder, as Clint Barton does have a wife and kids, so he wouldn’t go out like this willingly. He was under observation and in a super advanced cell, but as Fury points out, he’s got a dead Thor behind him, so weirder things have happened.

 

On Wednesday, Natasha meets up with Betty Ross. Betty tries to blow her off, but when Nat mentions that Tony Stark was murdered, she’s willing to listen. She’s an expert on the “tactical applications of biology,” whatever that means, but it’s mostly because Betty has skill in staying off SHIELD’s radar. They examine the needle, no poison was in it, the antidote didn’t leave it either, the tip of the needle looks broken off like a bullet was fired through it. Natasha prepares to leave but gets the call from Fury that Hawkeye was killed. She then asks, “Who do I kill.” They’ve realized that the killer is targeting SHIELD Avenger’s candidates. The list has currently been whittled down to just Natasha and Bruce Banner. Guess they haven’t found the Cap-cicle yet. She notes Betty glancing at a closet and realizes that Banner is inside. Sidenote, super weird to see current Mark Ruffalo Banner in Edward Norton Banner’s story. Natasha hears the copters coming in to grab Banner, so they run.

 

Hail to the king, I guess.

Back in the Desert, Coulson is returning from a coffee run. As he tries to reenter the facility, the Bifrost bridge opens and the armies of Asgard led by Loki have arrived. Guess he’s pissed someone else axed his bro. Loki introduces himself, over Fury’s cell going off. Meanwhile, the Army is about to make a grab for Banner. Fury finally answers, telling her to handle it and go to ground. Loki says that he’s there to avenge his brother. At the same time, someone shoots Bruce, not one of Ross’s men, and it forces him to transform. Hulk begins to rampage, and Loki uses the Casket off Ancient Winters to start freezing the planet. Damn. Betty tries to run to her dad to make him stop, but Nat pulls her back, telling her that the general didn’t start it. The Hulk starts expanding until he finally explodes in goo. Betty sobs for him. Fury tries to Loki to stop, reasoning declaring war on Earth won’t bring Thor back. Sif stops Loki and tells him that Odin would listen. Fury reveals that the same person killed two of his people, so it’s a common enemy thing. Fury promises to bring Loki his pound of flesh when he finds the killer, but Loki demands the whole corpse. Loki give Fury until sunrise in New Mexico to find him.

 

That night, Natasha convinces Coulson to give her his password to access the Avengers Initiative. While she works in the dark, something seems to be sneaking up on her. She goes through files and notes that a woman that died two years ago accessed the database yesterday. She calls up Fury when she realizes she’s under attack. Something whips her around the room, throwing her around with relative ease, but totally invisible to the naked eye. She get’s Fury’s voice mail and tells him “It’s all about Hope.”

 

In New Mexico, Fury replays the message, not getting Natasha’s words. Coulson points out that the last person tied to the Avenger’s Initiative is him, but he says there’s one more. He goes to call in Captain Marvel, but then seems to get what Natasha meant. He throws Carol’s pager back into the glove box and drives off to make a deal with a god or deal with a devil. He drives up to Loki’s new ice fortress. He goes inside to see Loki past the Destroyer Armor.

 

The next day, Fury goes to San Francisco and visit’s Hope van Dyne’s grave. Hank Pym, in his Yellowjacket suit, comes to attack him. Fury tries to either stop Hank with reason, pointing out Hope died while on a mission as a SHIELD agent, or to piss him off. It seems to do the latter. We then see the reveal that Hank used himself as a bullet on each of the recruits, killing Tony in the injection, flying in to knock Clint’s arrow loose, and then giving him an aneurism, getting into Bruce’s body to rig his heart to explode, and beating Natasha to death. He kills Thor as a preemptive measure. Fury and Pym fight, Nick showing off incredible speed and agility to outmaneuver and flip right over Pym’s head. Fury punches a minimized Pym into a headstone. When Pym regrows, he accuses Fury of never caring about Hope, to which Fury says he never cared about any of them, and then let out a weirdly uncharacteristic cackle. He keeps egging Pym on, showing off supernatural powers as he does. Yeah, this is Loki in disguise. Pym tries to fly away but is caught in an ice pillar and crashes. He takes Pym’s particles and has the Asgardian’s take Pym away. Loki admits he’s thought about extending his stay on Midgard. The next day, Loki has taken over the world. Dude works fast when Thor doesn’t slow him down.

 

Hope not lost, but SEVERELY reduced.

Fury and Coulson have a meeting with the Avenger’s caskets. Coulson says the Avenger’s fell before they could rise, and may they rest in peace. Fury claims the Avengers were more than a team, they were an ideal, a belief that in humanities darkest hour, we would find our heroes. He walks out, to do that. Later, we’re shown him finding Captain America’s resting place and being joined by Captain Marvel. She asks where the fight is and the credits roll.

 

So, while the exact What If…? for this universe wasn’t stated in episode, I think we can guess that it’s What If Hope van Dyne died. Combining the plots of Iron Man 2, Hulk and Thor with a murder mystery plot was an interesting choice. It was a bigger idea than just tweaking Captain America: The First Avenger, but not as big as T’Challa as Star-Lord. It’s in interesting middle ground. All the Avenger’s deaths were clever too. Tony’s cure being turned into poison, making Hawkeye kill Thor and then taking him out too, and attacking Bruce’s heart directly were inspired deaths. Sure, beating Natasha to death was very simple compared to the others, but they can’t all be amazing. Fury going to Loki and knowing it’s a deal with the devil situation was both clever and a bit heartbreaking. Obviously, Loki’s magic can overcome just about anything, and the Trickster God just has a ball overwhelming Hank Pym. I give props to the voice cast, from returning actors like Samuel L. Jackson, Tom Hiddleston, Michael Douglas, and Mark Ruffalo to the Mick Wingert (Tony Stark), Lake Bell (Natasha), and Mike McGill as Ross. I’m glad that it looks like Sebastian Stan’s Voice Acting was an aberration. The only weird thing was seeing Mark Ruffalo’s Bruce Banner in place of Edward Norton’s version of the character. I know Ruffalo has done it longer, has done it better that Norton did, but it’s still odd. Ya know? So yeah, I enjoyed this episode. Have a Happy New Year, everyone!


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Twitter: @BasicsSuperhero

Thursday, December 30, 2021

Viewer Log: What if...? ep 2

 A Star-Lord or Prince of the Stars?

Last time on What if…? we saw what would happen if Peggy Carter had stayed in the observation room during Project Rebirth. She ended up taking Steve’s place and became Captain Carter. She was able to take the Tesseract and Dr. Zola before HYDRA got to experiment with it. This led to the invention of the HYDRA Stomper battle suit for Steve. Captain Carter, HYDRA Stomper, and the Howling Commandos fought back against HYDRA. During the attack on HYDRA’s train, Steve is seemingly killed in a trap. HYDRA recovers the Tesseract and try to use it to pull a monster onto Earth to either conquer it or destroy it. Carter and the Commandos attack HYDRA’s castle just as they power up their device. The Commandos find the HYDRA Stomper and even Steve Rogers, they free him, and he flies up to back up Carter. They force back the Cthulhu monster that HYDRA tried to summon. Peggy, not seeing any other option, personally forces the Cthulhu monster back through the Tesseract portal and disappearing. Decades later, the Tesseract is powered up again and Captain Carter returns, meeting Nick Fury and Hawkeye. She’s probably got to help them stop Loki, that’s the Captain’s place in the cosmos. Enough recap let’s get to it.

 

Episode 2: What if… T’Challa became a Star-Lord?

 

A very different group of Ravagers.

We open on the Watcher pontificating about time, space, and everything again. He talks about how when a normal person looks out at the galaxy they see infinite points of light, while he sees all the stories that are on these worlds. He asks if one’s destiny is determined by their nature or the nature of their world. We’re shown Star Lord liberating the Power Stone from it’s holding on Morag, but this Star Lord turns out to be T’Challa. He’s confronted by the same squad of goons that Peter Quill was in the MCU timeline, but this time the lead guy, Korath, fanboys out to him. Weird. He calls his men off, kneels to T’Challa. Korath still must keep Star Lord from taking the sphere but pitches the idea of quitting his job to work for Star Lord. T’Challa turns him down, but Korath doesn’t seem too bummed as now he can fight Star Lord. They fight, but Star Lord outpaces him until he tricks Korath into punching the containment field and getting knocked out. He takes out the other guards and makes to escape… but then decides he’s hired worse, so grabs Korath, too. He’s cornered by more guards, but then calls in backup. After a comedic delay, Yandu whistles up his attack needle and takes out the guards.

 

As they walk off, Yandu suggest they make like the old days and try to sell the Power Stone to the highest bidder, but T’Challa is dead set on using it to reignite another planet’s dying star. This Star Lord is very much Space Robin Hood, I guess.

 

We jump back to Wakanda on Earth, 1988, where a young T’Challa is frustrated at living in his metaphorical-but-not-as-much-as-one-might-think Ivory tower. He wants to see the world, but his father is still dead set on keeping him safe. That night, T’Challa is playing with a spear when he ventures outside of Wakanda’s protective shield. A Ravager spacecraft found him and picked him up. Why? Because in this What if…?, Yandu didn’t do the grab himself and instead left it to his men. They just went to one of the biggest sources off extra-terrestrial energy and grabbed the first human they saw. So, they nabbed the Prince of Wakanda instead of the Son of Ego. Idiots. Yandu, not that bummed out about getting the wrong kid, offers to show him the universe.

 

Drax happy is just so... weird.

Jump back to adult T’Challa, and they land at a bar and have a celebratory drink. Korath is still geeking out a bit and asks what they’re favorite adventure was. They apparently have robbed a major intergalactic bank and punched a skrull while doing it, armed a resistance force, that sort of thing. Korath then asks how they stopped Thanos from whipping out half the universe. Thanos himself comes up and admits he’s a big enough person to admit when he’s wrong and credits T’Challa with showing him a better way. He still thinks his plan had merit but is fine with how things turned out. T’Challa tries to pay for the drinks, but the Bartender, Drax, won’t take his card. I guess this space bar is cash only. Weird. Drax forces T’Challa to take a picture with him, and then Nebula joins them. Nebula in this timeline has had a lot less work done on her body, it seems.

 

They have a drink. Nebula asks if he’s shown the stone to her dad, which he hasn’t. He tries to get her to mend the fence with her now gardening father, but apparently there’s still a lot of anger there. She asks if he ever thought about going back to Earth, he says there’s not much to go back to. He was told that Wakanda was destroyed while he was away. Lost his home, so now he saves everyone else’s. She has a job for him.

 

She wants him to gather the Embers of Genesis, nutrient rich cosmic dust that can terraform planets at an incredible rate. They want to get the Embers and start terraforming a bunch of dead worlds to produce crops and end hunger in the known galaxy. They just need to steal them from the Collector. Uh-oh. Yandu isn’t willing to risk their lives dealing with the Collector as he’s as a damned sociopath. T’Challa goes to Yandu and convinces his surrogate father to risk it.

 

They head to Knowhere to rob the collector. Thanos reveals that the Black Order now works for the Collector and run security for him and asks how they’ll get passed them. The plan is for Nebula and Yandu to pose as sellers and offer the orb, but they’ll be smuggling T’Challa into the station instead. Korath and Thanos start a riot outside and draw them outside so they can get passed the security checkpoint. T’Challa will then break away to search for the Embers.

 

Nebula and Yandu start the fake deal with The Collector while T’Challa begin his search. He passes Cosmos the Space Dog, Malekith the Accursed and Howard the Duck, all in storage. He asks Howard where to find the Embers, and he gives T’Challa directions, but T’Challa frees him to just show him the way.

 

Outside, Proxima Midnight hits the Ravagers with a stunning pulse, realizes who they are and orders a lockdown. Howard and T’Challa get separated when the lockdown starts, he ends up in a hanger and finds a Wakandan ship that reacts to his Pater necklace. He activates a message from his father, who never gave up on looking for him. Nebula and the Collector arrive with a captive Yandu, Nebula revealing she had a debt with the Collector and is using him for payment.

 

T’Challa, Yandu and the Ravagers are put into lockup. T’Challa attacking Yandu for lying to him about Wakanda’s destruction. Yandu says that he did it to protect him, that he was trying to set T’Challa free from his past so he could be an explorer. Yandu tells him that he was meant to be in space with his “family” but T’Challa rejects that notion now, saying they were never his family. Which hurts Korath the most. Corvus Glaive then arrives to bring him to the Collector.

 

I have questions about this collection...

T’Challa is put into a box for the Collector. He claims that he captured T’Challa to be an art piece for a specific space in his collection, but is now less impressed with T’Challa now that he knows him to be just a normal man. T’Challa tries to give the Collector a speech about how holding people against their will is bad, but the Collector isn’t listening. He orders Ebony Maw to dissect T’Challa and scrap him for parts.

 

Nebula goes to speak with the Ravagers, it looks like it’ll be a big confrontation, but then she turns and shoots Corvus Glaive in the chest. She reveals this was all part of the real plan, having told T’Challa right away the Collector wanted him. Nebula has already gotten the Embers and are peparing to escape.

 

Meanwhile, T’Challa uses his Vibranium necklace to break the cage, but Ebony Maw uses his telepathic powers to grab him. But the pink assistant lady, Carina shoots Maw in the back, freeing him. T’Challa runs but then is attacked by the Collector again. He punches T’Challa with Korg’s severed fist, the monster, and then reveals his extensive cybernetic augmentations. He shows off that he has not only the main Avengers weapons, Cap’s Shield, Mjolnir, etc, but also Malakith’s knife, and Hela’s helmet. He uses Hela’s blades to pin T’Challa against a wall. The Black Order chases after the Ravagers. Thanos breaks of to fight his old minions, holding his own against the lesser fighters but gets overwhelmed by Cull Obsidian and Proxima Midnight.

 

Good Thanos is weird Thanos.

Yandu arrives and destroys the helmet with hiss arrow. Then the Collector breaks it. Damn. Thanos gets beaten into the ground, but Nebula arrives to even the odds. She drops some off the Embers in Obsidians maw, killing him and starting to terraform Knowhere. T’Challa and Yandu fight the Collector fist to fist. They settle on the ‘Sticky Fingers” plan. It boils down to Yandu running up and grabbling with the Collector, getting punched a bunch before being thrown aside. It’s then revealed that Yandu stole the Collector’s remote, opens a prison cell for him, and T’Challa tackles him into it. They leave the Collector in Carina’s hands. She frees his collection and let them have their way with him. T’Challa and Yandu escape in the Wakandan ship. They also grabbed Cosmos, which was nice. T’Challa and Yandu make up, Yandu telling him that there isn’t a planet in the universe where T’Challa doesn’t belong. They meet up with the Ravagers and travel to Wakanda. T’Challa greets his family and introduce his space family. They all have a nice time.

 

We then cut to an adult Peter Quill cleaning a Dairy Queen, where Ego finds him. Crap. And that’s the end. Damn you, Uatu.

 

Okay, I think this was a much more interesting story than the last episode. We didn’t just see a slight rehashing of Captain America: The First Avenger, we instead got a heist movie in space. All my respect and admiration go to the late great Chadwick Boseman. I don’t think I’d have guessed this was his first real bit off Voice Work if I didn’t know it. I’d heard that he was close to obsessive in making his line reads as perfect as he possibly could. He is amazing, The heist aspect was cool, too. It is fairly paint by numbers plot, complete with double-to-triple cross and showdown with the Collector’s collection, but it was still fun. I’d say the only negative of this story is that it seems to suggest that the universe would have been better off without Peter Quill’s Star-Lord. What? Thanos is good now, countless worlds and people have been improved, Drax never lost his family, Star-Lord T’Challa clearly has a better record than Star-Lord Peter. If they can stop Ego from using Peter as a battery to take over the universe or whatever his plan was, then he’ll have beaten Peter in everyway imaginable. I wonder if we will get a part two of this story someday. It seemed like they left it open for that, but obviously this episode was produced before Chadwick Boseman’s untimely death. Not to say they couldn’t get a voice actor to assume the role, Phil LaMarr could easily step into those big shoes, but I’m just not sure it’ll be the same without him. But who knows, we’ll just have to wait and see. Next time, episode 3. Have a good night, everyone. 

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Twitter: @BasicsSuperhero

Wednesday, December 29, 2021

Viewer Log: What if...? ep 1

A Captain of a different but very similar stripe.

Okay, so while I’ve seen Spider-Man: No Way Home, I want to see it one more time before I do a write up. The problem with this is that this is the busiest time of year for me, so I haven’t had time to see it again. But the after credits scene from NWH it made it clear to me that I need to sit down and watch What if…? I really don’t know why, but I’ve been procrastinating watching this for the last few weeks. I’ll will be doing Hawkeye too, but not until January. So, let’s get to it, shall we?

 

Episode 1: What If… Captain Carter Were The First Avenger?

 

The episode opens with the Watcher talking about the multiverse. That reality is a prism of endless possibility. Basic premise, he’s going to show us how things would be different if just a single, small thing was changed.

 

Well, this should be interesting.

We jump to a short summary of Captain America: The First Avenger. Nazis and HYDRA are taking over Europe, to combat them, a skinny kid from Brooklyn named Steven Rogers was turned into Captain America. He turned the tide before being lost in the arctic. We then start the actual story. We’re shown the moment that fractured the timeline, when Peggy Carter was asked to leave the room, she instead elected to stay in the lab. From her new position in the viewing auditorium, Peggy saw the bomb that the HYDRA spy planted and even the spy going for the detonator. She rushes for him but can’t make it in time. The Spy kills the general and wounds Steve. Peggy kills him when he tries to steal the formula. Howard Stark tells them that they need to finish the project now or lose it. Steve is too injured to go through it, Stark needs to DO the procedure, so Peggy is just like “F this,” and gets into the pod herself. General Flynn seems to be against Carter going through the procedure… because, but Howard is his son’s father, and just does it. Peggy is Super Soldiered, growing a good foot and being beefed up considerably. Steve is impressed with the change, as is Howard, but General Flynn is a negative Nancy.

 

They take samples of Peggy’s blood to hopefully recreate the project while the sexist even for the time Flynn brow beats Peggy for… completing the procedure. Moron. Peggy vents her frustration on a bunching bag and obliterates it, and then flings a weight into a wall. One of several dozen from the look of it. Steve reminds her it could be worse; she could be a USO mascot. … Ha. Steve mentions that his friend Bucky was deployed but he doesn’t know where too and his general frustration at not being able to serve. Peggy apologizes for the fact she kind of took Steve’s place, but he’s pretty chipper about it, saying she’ll be the one to end the war. He also tells her to not sweat his injured leg, as he wasn’t much of a dancer anyway. She says maybe he just hasn’t found the right partner and they have a moment.

 

We cut to the Red Skull and his forces invading the church and finding the Tesseract. Stark and Carter brief Flynn on the situation, that HYDRA now has an object that’s Gamma signature suggests it could power London for a century or blow it up in about a minute. Red Skull gets the Tesseract and kills the monk guarding it. The cube is 2/3rds of the way to Germany, Stark and Carter want to send her in to get it, but Flynn is still a sexist prick. Bro, she can whip weights like a frisbee… do you somehow think her XX chromosomes will make the throw less painful to be hit? Flynn doesn’t get how powerful the cube is and leaves.

 

While having a drink, Howard joins Peggy, says Flynn is a moron. He wants to go after the Tesseract and brought an upgraded USO uniform (with a big ol Union Jack on the chest) and a British Themed Shield as bribes to convince Peggy to be even more insubordinate to Flynn. Peggy probably would have done it on a dare, but the bribe helps.

 

She makes this look good. 

We cut to HYDRA convoy heading through Paris. Dr. Zola is in back with the cube as Peggy Carter attacks them. Using her new shield and superhuman strength she flips the first truck, flattens the second and starts beating up the motorcycle troopers. She then takes out the squad of foot soldiers that try to stop her when a big brute comes out. He calls her fragile… and gets a knee, probably a testicle, and his skull fractured as she beats him into the ground. Zola is captured and the Allies now have the tesseract. She basically forces Flynn to promote her to Captain and then she gives the cube to Stark to play with.

 

Howard Stark, much like his son in the future/alternate timeline, when left to tinker with near infinite power makes an armored suit. He gives it to Steve. Peggy and Steve formulate a plan to save Bucky and the 107 after they’ve been captured. He tells her he owes her one, and she says she owes him a dance.

 

Regardless of universe, they belong together.

Later, Peggy steals a HYDRA motorcycle and attacks the holding facility. She easily overpowers the guards and frees the men that will be the Howling Commandos, introducing herself as Captain Carter for the first time. They start getting hit by tanks and Carter calls in for air support. It comes in the form of the Iron Giant… I mean Iron Monger… I mean Steven Rogers, the HYDRA Stomper. His armored suit easily lays waste to the tanks with Carters help. Once the dust settles, Steve pops out of his new suit and cheers on Captain Carter.

 

We then get a montage to period appropriate music of Captain Carter, HYDRA Stomper and the Howling Commandos beating the crap out of HYDRA and the Nazis. Flynn takes credit for a good chunk of the good they do, but they’re winning the war, so who is complaining? There’s a particularly well animated fight where Steve flies Carter into the air and she flips, kicks, and smashes her way through several planes before Steve picks her up. Vey well done.

 

The Nazis are demanding that Red Skull report to Berlin so Hitler can yell at him, but Schmitt don’t give a Scheisse. He apparently is going with his plan B after losing the Tesseract to summon “The True Champion of HYDRA” from space. Crap. He kills the General talking to me and pulls off his latex face. He announces that the Third Reich will fall, and HYDRA will rise from the ashes.  

 

Peggy and Steven have a drink together and talk about their respective changes in status. For her, the physical changes aren’t as extreme as they were for Steve in the main MCU timeline, for her, the biggest changes were in social standing and position. She doesn’t have to scream to get attention, sort of thing. Steve laments the fact he’s still the skinny kid from Brooklyn, just in a big metal suit, but Peggy assures him he’s more than that. They call each other their hero and almost kiss but are interrupted by Howard and Bucky.

 

Later, The Howling Commandos prepare to attack the Train that Red Skull is on. Steve flies in and slows the Train with the HYDRA Stomper enough for the Commandos to get on board. Steve goes in the front, trying to get a visual on Red Skull, peeling his way into the train. Inside, it’s filled with explosives. They go off in Steve’s face, destroying the train and burying him in the icy river below. The Commandos survive, though, and get away.

 

Later, Peggy is clearly in morning while Flynn screams about losing his flying tank. Carter goes to see Zola. He claims he will tell her nothing… but she does something to make him talk. Apparently, it was too graphic for general audiences. She informs command that HYDRA’s new plan is to unleash an interdimensional force that will either take over the world or annihilate it. Flynn makes a crass comment about it making sense that HYDRA targeted Steve, as he thinks only the HYDRA Stomper could have gotten close. Peggy basically tells him to shut up and sit down. The point is to stop HYDRA at all costs.

 

Carter assaults the castle on her own, beating Hydra goons left and right before opening a gate for her team. They plow through them, but then split into two teams, Bucky and the Commandos going low, and Carter and Howard go high. Inside, HYDRA use the recovered Tesseract as it was meant to be used and open a portal to another dimension. The Howling Commandos burst into the underground lab and find the HYDRA Stomper. Carter and Howard find the lab and smash in as HYDRA draws a possible Cthulhu monster into this dimension. Which promptly crushes Red Skull for his troubles. Fun. The Commandos also find Steve, who is alive but injured. He makes them let him suit up. They hope the generator will give him enough power to move, it does, but Steve does fall on his face first. Upon hearing Peggy is up top, he rockets upward to help her.

 

And yet they're destined to be pulled apart.

The monster is pulling everything they can grab into the wormhole. Carter gets Howard to the controls and tells him to figure out how to send it back. Carter grabs a sword and tries to do battle with the thing, but she’s a human going up against a Cthulhu tentacle monster. It’s a one-sided fight. He flips a few switches and is able to reverse the polarity and pulls it back in. It starts to pull Carted back in with it, but then Steve rockets up and gets her free. They’re joined by the Howling Commandos, and they open fire on the thing. The creature screams and starts bringing the castle down. Steve gets the Commandos clear. Howard can’t close the gate because the monster is keeping it open, so Carter resolves to push it back to Hell. She rushes it and forces it back. Steve flies in and laser blasts it but uses up the last of his energy. Carter, having no other option forces the creature all the way through. Her final conversation with Steve, like in the OG timeline, about how they’re going dancing on Saturday. The portal closes, leaving the Tesseract behind.

 

Sometime later, Tesseract is used again, Peggy leaping free with a bunch of severed tentacles. She meets Nick Fury and Hawkeye. He tells her the bad news that she’s been gone for 70 years. Fury tells her it’ll be alright, to which Peggy responds, of course, we won the war. Though she’s clearly dejected about it.

 

The Watcher ends the episode saying that Peggy’s single choice created a whole new timeline and gave the multiverse a new hero. And explains his whole deal, that he, the Watcher, watches but doesn’t interfere with the universes he views and the credits roll.

 

Overall, this was a fine episode to start the series. The concept of Peggy Carter being the Super Soldier instead of Steven Rogers is different, but not so insane that it would alienate people who are just now hearing about the concept of a Multiverse. I’ve got to give the show massive props for two decisions. First, I’m so glad they didn’t go with the multiverse trope that, when a hero doesn’t get their powers, they end up a villain. I have no idea why, but a lot of multiverse stories seem to love that plot, but I got tired of it years ago. So, seeing Steve still be a hero, just not the one he really wanted to be, was nice. And I like how they took time to make it clear that yes, Steve and Peggy’s attraction wasn’t based solely on his superhuman physique. They obviously had a spark before Project Rebirth in the movie, but he changed so quickly after that one might assume the muscles helped speed the process. But no, even if he stayed a string bean, his soul shined bright enough to woo her. Hayley Atwell is great voicing Carter in this version. I also liked Josh Keaton as Steven Rogers. He’s a veteran voice actor, though, so that is to be expected. Sebastian Stan, on the other hand, is mindbogglingly bad. Like, it almost sounds like he’s reading the script for the first time right in the recording booth and no one is given him direction on how to emote. It’s weird. I think that this What If, at least, could have gone on a little longer. I rather enjoyed seeing Peggy Carter beating the crap out of Nazis and HYDRA goons, I could have seen more and not complained. The Watcher is a bit nebulous in this episode, just serving as the introductory and closing narrator. Uatu is a staple of the Marvel comics, so it’ll be interesting to see how this version plays out.  So yeah, this was a fun start if a bit bumpy start. I’m looking forward to what the other What Ifs…? have in store. See you next time. 


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Tuesday, December 28, 2021

Viewer Log: Wheel of Time ep 8

His allies fight for Fal Dara while the Dragon Reborn fights for the world.

Last time on the Wheel of Time, our heroes’ sans Mat traveled the Ways to Fal Dara. They’re almost killed by Trollocs and Machin Shin, the Black Wind, but escape just in time. While in Fal Dara, Moiraine take the group to see a bartender named Min. Min can see auras around people that let her predict the future, Moiraine hopes her vision will tell them who the Dragon Reborn is. She doesn’t confirm who the Dragon Reborn is, but sees Rand with a kid, Perrin having Gold eyes and blood on his face, and Egwene and Nynaeve have a flame and gold ring in their futures. She confirms they’re all Ta’Veren, though, and that they’re connected in a grand design. The Two Rivers folk want to discuss if they want to go to the Eye and risk death for the non-Dragon, which Moiraine allows. A fight breaks out between the folk, though, and Rand storms off. Nynaeve spends the evening with Lan, and then spends the night with him. Rand and Egwene make up, but later that night, Rand goes out to the Archery range. As he shoots arrows, we learn that while dragging his father to the village from their house, Tam has a fever dream and tells Rand he was found on a mountain. Rand remembers other events from the season, but now with the context that he channeled his way out of several tough spots. He confirms with Min that he is the Dragon Reborn, and then goes to see Moiraine. The rest of the group learn that Rand and Moiraine went alone to the Eye. Enough recapping let’s get to it.

 

Chapter 8: The Eye of the World

 

We open on a scene from 3000 years ago. The Dragon Reborn, Lews Therin Telamon is in a meeting with the Latra Posae Decume, the Tamyrlin Seat. He wants her help in his plan to imprison the Dark One so he can never touch the world again. Latra refuses to help, fearig what would happen if the Dark One touches and corrupts the True Source. He wants to move forward regardless, and they part ways. Lews goes to comfort his child, telling the cooing infant that he is going to make the world safe for them.

 

… Do I even need to say that this doesn’t go to plan?

 

Camping SUCKS.

In the present, Rand and Moiraine are traveling through the Blight. They come across a corpse, a boy from the borderlands that wanted to test himself against the Blight but came up wanting. She warns that the Blight is a rotting, festering wound, created by leaks from the Dark One’s prison and advises him not to touch anything.

 

In Fal Dara, Egwene tries to get things ready to chase after Rand, but Perrin comes in to remind her that that is insane as they’ve no idea where to go. Egwene starts crying and says she loves Rand, Perrin loves him too, but is, ya know, being realistic. They confirm that they’re both “alright” and hug for support.

 

Back in the Blight, Rand and Moiraine reach a spot to rest, within sight of the Seven Towers of Malkier. Yes, they’re in Lan’s homeland. Rand says it looks like it’s been abandoned for a thousand years, but Moiraine confirms it’s been 40 years at most. The Blight has spread quickly in the last three years, confirming to Moiraine that the Dark One is growing stronger. They sit down to rest. Rand asks if it was hard leaving Lan behind, but Moiraine doesn’t answer, basically confirming it was Incredibly hard.

 

Either break up with her or don't Lan, don't do this
middle of the ground stuff.

At the Keep, Nynaeve goes to speak with Lan and comfort him. Lan confirms that he can’t feel Moiraine through the bond and that worries him. Nynaeve reveals that she didn’t track Lan, but Moiraine, saying that she has a “tell” that she could follow. Nynaeve is willing to let him go alone, so long as he promises to bring her friend back. She points out that Wisdoms don’t get married, but that as an Aes Sedai, she won’t be a Wisdom anymore… But Lan breaks that hope by telling her that he loves her but can’t be with her for fear of breaking her when he inevitably dies. This is what I call “mixed signals” Lan, as he’s breaking up with her, but in such a flowery, romantic way that it pretty much guarantees she’s not getting over this any time soon. Anyway, he asks how to track Moiraine.

 

Rand awakes, pulling his hand from a bit of Blight corruption growing on his hand. Moiraine asks what he dreamed, as they have significance especially this close to the Blight. Rand says that it was the Dark One and that he knows they’re coming. Before Moiraine can respond, she’s stabbed through the mouth. The burning eyed man is behind her, saying that he wasn’t expecting Rand to be the one. Rand shoots and arrow into his eye. The Man pushes it into his face, transforming it into a more human form. He comments that Rand looks nothing like Lews, but there’s something behind his eyes that the Man sees. When Rand says this is a dream, he points out that that really doesn’t matter, asleep or awake they’re finally chatting. He claims Rand coming at him with just one weak Aes Sedai is pathetic compared to the 99 companions he brought last time. Rand pulls his sword on him, the heron mark impressing the Man, but he mocks Rand when he claims he got it from his father. He says Rand’s father died a long time ago and refers to Tam as the “shepherd from the Two Rivers.” He confirms that Rand is “stubborn as ever.” Rand shouts that this is a dream and runs himself through with the sword. He wakes up and Moiraine repeats herself from the dream, Rand telling her to not believe a word he says.

 

The heart of the Dark, Ba'alzamon, Sightblinder
Father of Lies, The Dark One.
Rand asks what the plan is, and when she tries to play dumb, he points out that she always has a plan within a plan within a plan so just spill it. She reveals she has a Sa’angreal, a carved figure that can increase Rand’s already significant power 100-fold. So her plan is basically to buff Rand’s stats to maximum and hope he can wing it into binding the Dark One for another 3000 years. It’s a bold strategy Cotton, let’s see if it pays off for them. As Moiraine is about to walk off, Rand asks her if she thought the Dragon Reborn was Egwene. Pointing out that she taught Egwene to channel and brought her to the Amyrlin Seat. She doesn’t confirm but Rand shrugs and says he thought so too.

 

At the keep, Nynaeve is trying to listen to the wind when Egwene joins her. Nynaeve says she hasn’t heard anything since she firsts channeled. Egwene tries it and hears something like what they heard at Bel Tine; the scream compared to a whisper.


Rand and Moiraine go deeper into the Blight. Rand asks if Moiraine can teach him to channel, she can’t but is banking on Rand just kind of winging it, that the adrenaline will just let him channel right. When he asks how that could possibly be true, Moiraine tells him a story about when she was a Novice (rank 1 of 3 for Aes Sedai) and an Accepted (rank 2 of 3 for Aes Sedai) she admired beat the piss out of her one night with the Power to help her “reach her potential,” and didn’t stop until Moiraine grabbed the power and stopped her herself.  She never had trouble channeling again, and assumes it’ll be the same for the Ginger.

 

Our heroes go to Min, asking for answers. Min won’t reveal what she told Moiraine, but just confirms that everything she sees always comes true eventually. She looks at Nynaeve as sees her burning to death from the inside, then looks around to see the soldiers drinking happily at the nearby table all dying. A moment later, a horn blares and people rush out.

 

Rand and Moiraine see a huge mass of Trollocs gathering at the edges of the Blight, preparing to attack Tarwin’s Gap.

 

Jagad siblings prepare for war.

Lord Agelmar is preparing his people to defend the Gap. They’ve seen 60 Fades and estimate five to ten thousand Trollocs and more are coming. Uno wants to kill them himself. One of their bridges out of Fal Dara were destroyed, so they also have darkfriends in their midst. Fun. Agelmar orders all available troops to the Gap to defend it. He’s going to defend the Gap personally and sends Uno and Yakota to do “what they must do.” Cryptic. Amalisa tells her brother that the Gap will not hold.

 

In the Blight, Rand and Moiraine reach the Eye, an underground ruin in the Blight. Rand points out that if Moiraine goes with him, she might die and tries to tell her to stay but she refuses. Meanwhile, Lan is quickly running after them, reaching the Seven Towers but is still hours behind.

 

Amalisa helps Agelmar prepare his armor. She wants him to wear their father’s armor, as the heirloom set protect him, their grandfather, and all Jagad’s back to when they first came to Fal Dara. Agelmar insists on wearing his own armor. Amalisa wants him to stay in the city, but he refuses. The Men will hold the Gap, and if they can’t the Women will hold the city. It’s a huge offensive though, and Amalisa is worried. Agelmar tells her that she was right, and they should have gotten Aes Sedai help sooner. He believes that Tarmon Gai’don, the Last Battle is here. They aren’t going to win but will last long enough to warn the world that death is coming.

 

Rand and Moiraine reach the lowest level of the Eye of the World. He asks what this place is, but Moiraine doesn’t know, claiming darkfriends burned all records of it from the Tower. Rand remembers… pieces of this place but can’t fit them together. He suddenly sees his past incarnation Lews stepping onto the giant Aes Sedai (Yin Yang without the little circles) symbol and facing off against the Dark One, the man from his nightmares. He steps directly on the symbol, touches it with his bare hands… and then is in his house back in the Two Rivers. He goes outside, and Egwene is there, playing with a baby, they’re daughter Joiya. She asks if he finished the Bel Tine lantern for Joiya already, as Mat will never finish it in time despite his promises. Egwene gives Joiya to him and goes inside. Rand seems happy with the baby, which breaks my heart.

 

The fate of the world will be decided here, as the
Dragon Reborn... naps.

Back in the real world, Rand is passed out at Moiraine’s feet. She tries to wake him but fails. The Man asks her what she thought would happen. She tries to attack him with flows of air, but he stops her and with a flick of his hands shuts her down. He mocks her, saying it must be awful, having the One Power so close but not quite being able to touch it.

 

At Tarwin’s Gap, Agelmar and his guard reinforce the gap fortress. Amalisa and her force prepare ballista and other long-range weapons, Amalisa ordering the gates remain open another hour to allow foreigners to escape. We see Min slip away with the retreating civilians. Amalisa asks any women channelers to be brought to her to help bolster the defense. Uno and Yakota go into the Fal Daran throne room, move Agelmar’s throne and start digging. Egwene, Nynaeve and Perrin are wondering what they can do. Loial joins them and tells them that they’re calling on all Channelers to help the defense. Nynaeve isn’t sure about risking losing anyone else.

 

The Trollocs charge the Gap’s wall, Agelmar and his men killing dozens with crossbows in minutes but more keep coming. Amalisa stands with two other women as Nynaeve and Egwene join her. Perrin is feeling antsy, as he can’t help with the defense as he’s trying to follow the Way of the Leaf and isn’t sure what he could do. Loial says that in his experience, when you want to help but don’t know how, all you need to do is ask.

 

Rand is standing with Joiya as Egwene joins them again. She takes their daughter back and puts her in the cradle. Rand asks how long they’ve been living here, Egwene saying since the Eye. Rand is obviously confused as she wants to go to the Tower, but Egwene insists that this is where she wants to be. He asks if she remembers when they were kids, backed a bag and “ran away.” They spent the night under a tree and went home the next day but asks what they carved under the tree. She answers “Our place. For this life and the next. Forever.” Which seems to confirm to him that this is real. They kiss, but then everything stops. Egwene and Joiya freeze in place and the Man walks in. He offers Rand a “version” of her if he uses his power to remake the world in his image.

 

In the real world, The Man muses on which Rand will choose. Moiraine pulls out a knife and holds it to Rand’s throat, saying she’ll kill him and start over with the next Dragon than let him escape.

 

Perrin and Loial join up with Uno and Yakota. Perrin asks how they can help and Uno hands them a pickaxe. Trollocs are starting to overwhelm the Gap. They climb the bodies of the dead to reach the upper levels. A Trolloc gets up and hurls a spear into Agelmar, slamming him into a wall.

 

The Man slices “Egwene’s” neck to prove to Rand that stability is a lie, but he heals her a moment later. Rand asks how he can make it real. The Man tells him it’s simple. In the real world, Moiraine is pressing the dagger so hard to Rand’s neck she’s drawing blood as the Man watches.

 

Ka-me-ha-me-HAAAAAA!

At Fal Dara keep, Padan Fain enters in the back with a pair of Fades and strolls in. The group digging get to their prize, the Horn of Valere. It’s a magic horn that will bring the greatest heroes of the Pattern back to fight the Shadow at the Lasts Battle. Trollocs start pouring through the keep. Amalisa uses the one power to link with the other women. For a power comparison, Amalisa and the two others are like D Batteries linking to not one, but two nuclear reactors that are Nynaeve and Egwene. She draws their power in. In the keep, they uncover the horn, but then Perrin sees Padan Fain. He goes after him, looking at an axe but leaving it behind.

 

The Man tells Rand to empty himself of all his emotions and turn it into “want.” If he “wants” Joiya to be, he only needs to will her into existence. Rand starts channeling. The Man keeps coaching Rand. The Man in the waking world mocks Moiraine, telling her Rand is channeling, but she doesn’t know if it’s to strengthen or break his chains.

 

Amalisa gathers her power, drawing more from the others. The fellas get the Horn box out but hear a Myrddraal’s scream.

 

The Man tells Rand to make Egwene his, like she is, was and should be.

 

Amalisa summons lightning bolts from the sky, killing Trollocs left and right, but burning out and killing one of the weaker women.

 

Rand keeps channeling, but he splits his weaves and starts sending them toward the Sa’Angreal in his pocket. The Man tells Rand to make the world what he wants. Rand asks what Egwene wants. He realizes that no matter how much he wants this life, that Egwene, the one that doesn’t care about being a Wisdom or Aes Sedai isn’t the one that he loves. Rand wakes up and uses the Sa’Angreal on the Man. He gets hit with a massive wave of energy. The Man vanishes… with a grin on his face. The seal beneath their feet is cracked, but Rand says that he did it.

 

Oy, this guy.

Perrin follows where he thought Fain was going, but then hears fighting and goes to check on Loial. He finds Fain with a pair of Fades. Uno is injured, Yakota is dead, and Loial takes a stab from the… Shadar Logoth Dagger by Fain. Shit. Outside the Trollocs are dead, but Amalisa can’t break t he connection. Amalisa claims she can feel everything as the three women burn. Nynaeve climbs onto Egwene and seems to draw her flows into herself, shielding Egwene from the damage. She repeats the message from the braiding ceremony as Amalisa final breaks the connection. She slumps over, burned out and dead. Egwene sobs as she tries to get Nynaeve to wake up. Fain, grabs the horn and sits in the Fal Dara throne as he gloats. He reveals that he came into the Two Rivers every year to find them, five Ta’Veren in the same village. He sent the Trollocs, not to kill the Ta’veren but to bring them to the Dark One. He claims the Dark One is necessary for balance, and balance means that some or all of them will turn to the Shadow, too. And we see a scene of a bedraggled, kind of evil looking Mat walking into Tar Valon in the dead of night… ya know, for emphasis.

 

At the Eye, Moiraine tells Rand they can’t go back to Fal Dara yet. Rand says he’s not going back, as he felt the madness and knows it’ll consume him. He asks Moiraine to tell them that he died at the Eye, that he didn’t make it back. Moiraine says she can’t lie, but he knows she’ll make it work. He says goodbye and walks away.

 

Fain tells Perrin this is only the beginning. Perrin grabs the axe, and Fain mocks him for abandoning his new ideal so quickly. “Tiniest push and you choose the Dark.” He tells Perrin that they all have a part to play and then walks off with the Fades.

 

Lan finds Moiraine at the Eye. She’s examining the fragments of the seal. She tells him that Rand is “gone,” and that she can’t unmask the bond as the “Dark One” cut her off from the source.

 

Perrin walks out onto the balcony and sees the carnage in the valley below. Egwene is sitting with Nynaeve’s body, channeling at her and trying to heal her when it suddenly works and Nynaeve sits up, coughing. Rand heads out from the Eye, heading East towards the sunrise and the Spine of the World.

 

Moiraine hands Lan the stone she was looking at. It’s made of Cuendillar, Heartstone. It’s supposed to be unbreakable, but it’s been shattered. Moiraine believes that it means that this wasn’t the Last Battle, this was the first.

 

Well... crap.

We cut to a beach front in the Far Western Shore. A child is playing on the beach as birds start squawking overhead. She sees many ribbed sailed ships coming towards the beach. Strangely armored people come out, including four women on each boat. Two in armor with face paint, and two with gold chests shields and a muzzle. The face painted ones call out an order in the Old Tongue, and they start channeling creating a huge tidal wave. Well… the Seanchan are here. Crap.

 

I liked this finale. It is a drastic departure from the books, in which everyone made it to the Eye of the World, but really didn’t do anything to help the finale. I’ll take this more even division of labor version, honestly. Rand’s battle with the Man was very intense, even though I obviously knew the outcome. In the book, and for most of Rand’s early climactic fights, he ends up dueling Ba’alzamon, The Man’s book counterpart, with weapons and the Power. This more metaphysical battle, with the Man tempting Rand with everything that he wants to see if he’ll break is more indicative of the fights Rand has in later stories. I thought it was quite well done. Props to Fares Fares, the actor playing the Man, as he’s just as talkative as Ba’alzamon is in the books when he appears, and is as creepy, cryptic, and cruel with his actions. Obviously, this isn’t the last we’ll see of him, and next time I think he’ll be hounded Rand’s dreams more fiercely. Rand running off to be on his own is something that he threatened to do several times in the books, succeeding only once, and I like that he did it here. It highlights show scared he is of what he might become when the madness takes him that he’d rather his friends think him dead than risk their lives. He looks like he might be heading toward the Aiel Waste, which might mean we’ll be getting some of the Aiel a bit earlier than in the books. The majority were introduced in the third book, but only because fleshed out characters in the fourth. Them showing up in season 2 would be pushing them very far forward, but some of my favorite characters are Aiel, so seeing them sooner has me excited. I liked seeing Nynaeve and Egwene help defend Fal Dara. Them being probably the single reason the keep stood but also almost dying due to their raw power being handled by someone who is overwhelmed by it is a suitably dramatic climax for them. I think they might have gone a little too far in how very dead Nynaeve was before being healed, but that’s a minor complaint to me. Perrin’s story was a weaker element here, if only because I don’t think it was established that he was trying to hold to the Way of the Leaf before this point. Like, he obviously talked to Rand about it last time, but I never heard him say that he was trying to stick to it. Makes Fain gloating about Perrin breaking from it seem odd, as I didn’t realize he was holding to it. Oh, and Fain, Light, he was great in this. All smarmy swagger, shit eating grin and gloatingly evil, all things Fain is at one time or another. Having him as this sort of background threat in the first season to set him up as, presumably, one of the main antagonists for next was well done. Johann Myers has already replaced my mental image of Fain, he’s that good. I should note, Loial isn’t dead, so don’t worry about that. I think Moiraine possibly losing her powers is the one change I’m not 100% on. I say “possibly” as what the Man did was visually distinct to me from how they Gentled Logain, so I don’t think he Stilled her. Rather, it looked like he put a Shield around her and possibly tied it off. Tying off a Weave is a skill that is known in the books but doesn’t look like it’s been used in the show. If it’s a technique they forgot since the Breaking, then I think The Man shielding her and tying it off seem likely. Remember, Saidin users can’t see Saidar weaves and vice versa, so an invisible wall to the power feels likely. If she is truly cut off, then a powerless Moiraine will at least be an interesting thread to watch. Also loved the Seanchan tease at the end. All I’ll say about them, aside from the name, is they are a powerful empire from across the sea and they’re not messing around. So yeah, I liked the finale, I liked the show overall, and I’m excited for season 2. I hope it drops sometime next year, but we must wait and see. Next time… I’m till thinking about it, but I’ll let you know tomorrow. Have a good night. 

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Monday, December 27, 2021

Viewer Log: Wheel of Time ep 7

 The Dragon Reborn revealed.

Last time on The Wheel of Time, we met the Amyrlin Seat, Siuan Sanche. And learned that she is in on Moiraine’s mission to find the Dragon Reborn and is also her lover. Moiraine tracks down her four missing kids, finding Mat and Rand first. She’s able to pull the evil out of Mat and back into the Dagger. And a short time later finds Perrin and Egwene. To make sure that Moiraine isn’t forced to stay in the Tower due to Aes Sedai politics, Siuan banishes Moiraine from the Tower. She gathers her little group at the Waygate near Tar Valon. The Waygate will allow them to travel the hundreds of miles from Tar Valon to Shienar and the Eye of the World in only a few days’ time. With Loial’s help, as the Ogier will need to guide them. They all enter the Ways, save Mat, who stays behind, and the others don’t notice until the gate swings shut. Damn. Alright, let’s get to it, shall we?

 

Episode 7: The Dark Along the Ways

 

I hope I never see a labor more traumatic than this.

We open on a woman running through the remains of a battle. This woman is an Aiel, a member of the women only warrior society, Far Dareis Mai aka the Maidens of the Spear. She seems to be trying to escape the tail end off the battle, a goal made more complicated by the fact she’s clearly in labor! Despite this, she kills a LOT of Illianer (the Golden bees on their armor are a dead giveaway,) soldiers that try to kill her. She downs five of them in as many minutes. One soldier grapples her and stabs her kidney, though, before she kills him. The labor pains are clearly getting more intense as she prepares to deliver on her own. Then one last solider arrives and holds his heron marked blade at her throat. Uh-oh.

 

Hell of a cold open, right there, showing us the Blood Snow. That was the last battle of the Aiel War that was fought just outside Tar Valon.

 

We then jump back to the group in the Ways. The others want to go back for Mat, but Moiraine is for leaving him behind, believing that the “darkness” in him would be a liability. She starts walking ahead. The others want to open the gate, but Loial says that will be too dangerous, as channeling frivolously in the Ways will draw Machin Shin, the Black Wind, and it will feast on their souls. Rand doesn’t want to leave without Mat, but Egwene points out that Mat is the one that left them. With no real good options to get Mat, they follow Moiraine. Nynaeve specifically says that they’ll find him when this is over. And probably thinking about boxing his ears when she does, not going to lie.

 

Episode name is VERY accurate.

Lan asks Moiraine the big “What if,” if Mat was the Dragon. She believes, due to his tie to the dagger, that if it IS him, she can’t risk him being within a hundred leagues of the Dark One as she knows what choice he’ll make. They travel along the dark labyrinth of the Ways, lightning flashing in the distance. Loial let them all know that the Ways used to be a much nicer, it’s his coping mechanism, when Loial is nervous he likes to teach. Lan tries to lighten Nynaeve’s mood by making a joke about losing five silvers to Moiraine as she was scowling instead of pouting. Perrin sees something coming, impressive considering he’s in the back of the group, and they find a guiding stone. The Stone has been defaced, but Loial tries to figure out the path. Rand asks how Perrin could have possibly seen that, to which he says he doesn’t know. They’re told to get comfortable and rest while he works. Lan confirms with Moiraine that something is following them.

 

Everyone gets comfy, with Rand and Egwene cuddling for comfort. Some time later, they hear that damn whistling again in the distance. Egwene wakes up and rouses Rand, they see a Trolloc leap at them. Egwene channels as Rand tries to shield her with his body and the Trolloc is flung back into the void. Trollocs in the Ways should be impossible, but Lan thinks this is how they got to the Two Rivers undetected. The space around them started getting colder and they realize that Machin Shin is on the way. Moiraine says Machin Shin will “speak” to them, but they shouldn’t listen. They run for the Fal Dara gate. We’re shown the path they’d taken and a man watching them in a lightning flash before he disappears again.

 

They reach the gate just as the wind catches them. Machin Shin starks speaking to them in a jumble of everyone’s voices about their insecurities and fears. The Fears are: Moiraine that she’s leading them to their deaths, Egwene that she’s not important, Rand that Egwene will abandon him, Perrin that he killed his wife on purpose to get her out of the way because he loved someone else, Lan that he can’t protect “her” and will watch her die, and Nynaeve that she’ll hear them scream as they die like her parents. Nynaeve, pissed at this, channels a massive shield around them, forcing Machin shin back and giving Moiraine time to open the Waygate. They run through, with Lan grabbing Nynaeve and leading her out.

 

Lord Agelmar , and his sister Amalisa, Jagad. 

Outside, they’re in Fal Dara, in Shienar. Moiraine tells them that the Eye is a day’s walk outside the city, but they can rest at the keep first. Everyone is skittish from the experience, Moiraine telling them to put what they heard out of their minds. The enter the keep and meet several Shienar soldiers, chiefly Lord Yakota and Uno, who greet Lan as Dai Shan, salute him and welcome him back in Lord Agelmar’s name.

 

They’re brought in to meet with Agelmar and his sister, Amalisa. Agelmar greets them. Agelmar believes that they’re hear because his sister wrote to the White Tower for aid, as the Trolloc raids are getting worse. He scoffs at receiving this help, believing that Fal Dara protects its own. Moiraine informs him that Trollocs are using the Ways and suggests that they wall up the Fal Daran Waygate to keep them out. He sends Yakota to do that. He apologizes for offending her and lets her know she’s welcome in Fal Dara for as long as she is there.

 

Back at the Waygate, we’re shown a man stepping through it, adjusting his coat and then heading toward Fal Dara.

 

Amalisa leads Moiraine to her rooms. She confirms from Amalisa that a woman named Min is still in town and plans to see her for some answers. Amalisa describes Min as a Seer. Amalisa asks why they used the Ways, as she figured that out since she hadn’t heard rumors of Moiraine’s coming. It’s revealed that Amalisa is Tower trained, but lacked the strength to reach full sisterhood, but that Training is why Moiraine would trust her with info if she can be discrete. Amalisa can’t promise that as her loyalty is to Fal Dara, so Moiraine instead asks she send a message to Tar Valon to the Red Ajah to hunt Mat Cauthon. Guess this is a “if I can’t have him, no one can,” situation.

 

Later, the group is walking through Fal Dara. Rand is still out of it but puts on a brave face for Egwene. Perrin notices a man walking by and thinks it’s Padan Fain. Fain was the trader that Mat dealt with in episode 1, the man who first did that whistle we keep hearing, who had been following Rand and Mat all through episode 5 if you were paying attention, and who followed them through the Ways. Sorry, I was trying to be discrete for those who might not have noticed, but this dude is kind of important and ya kind of must know at this point that he’s been… around, even if he wasn’t in the foreground. Anyway, saw Fain, but no one believes him due to the whole… Bel Tine attack. They keep walking.

 

Hi Min! See any weird Aura's lately?
...
I know she has.

They arrive in a bar and Moiraine goes to see a woman bartender, as Perrin discusses the finer points of the Way of The Leaf with an incredulous Rand. He’s apparently too much a carnivore to go into the Tinker’s vegetarian diet. The woman, Min, can see auras around people. When she understands the auras, which she doesn’t always do, they let her know what their future brings. She’s also clearly annoyed that another Aes Sedai has come asking for viewings but agrees when Moiraine passive aggressively threatens her. She sees Perrin with yellow eyes and blood running down his chin, Rand playing with a baby, the girls have a White Flame and Ring of Gold, and they’re all connect in some way. She sees a bunch of sparks around them trying to drive back a dark shadow when she looks at all of them. The visions are very clear, which happens when someone is important to the pattern. She has a vison of the Amyrlin Seat for Moiraine and warns that she’ll be Moiraine’s downfall.

 

That night, Moiraine and Lan join the others in a sitting room. She lets them know they’re leaving tomorrow. Rand asks about Min, but Moiraine is evasive, at first. She does reveal Min’s powers, and her hope that Min’s viewings could tell her who the Dragon is. Unfortunately, that didn’t work. With no other option, she’s going to bring them all to the Eye. The Two Rivers folk tell her that they’ll decide for themselves if they’re going with her, to which she tells them that there is no running, but she’ll let them “decide” by sunrise.

 

The face you make when your options are a 1/4
chance of death, or death of humanity.

They discuss the situation. Egwene is for going, but Nynaeve doesn’t trust what Moiraine says. Rand is also iffy on the subject. Egwene wants to go because if there’s even a chance she’s right, it’s worth it. She points out the Nynaeve would do it if Moiraine wasn’t the one saying it and warn her to not let her pride stop her. Perrin asks again what if it’s Mat, to which Egwene scoffs at. This sets Rand off, as he thinks she’s being dismissive of their friend and being a bit heartless about him leaving. Rand calls her the “expert” on leaving. Perrin gets up and tells Rand to apologize to her, and this sets off Nynaeve who says she’s sick of the two of them fighting over Egwene like she’s something they can win. Rand gets real pissed at the idea that his friend might secretly be going after his girlfriend for years, pointing out that Perrin proposed to Leila the day Rand and Egwene started seeing each other. Perrin gets REAL mad at that accusation and the two have a stare down. Rand walks away and everyone seems a tad… disturbed by the argument.

 

Moiraine is watching the pass, Tarwin’s Gap from her balcony. Lan assures her the others will come, but she doesn’t seem totally sure. Moiraine zones out for a minute, and then admits to Lan that she worries she’d taken his life from him. When he denies it, she says that there’s more to life than her and their mission. Lan claims that before her, he had no purpose, so it’s a fair trade. She sends him off to make some goodbyes in the city. As he goes out, Moiraine tells him that she likes Nynaeve. I guess giving subtle approval to Lan’s crush. Lan goes out into the city, and just so happens to be in the same area as Nynaeve. He goes to visit with a Malkieri family he knows, and she kind of spies on them through the window for a second. Lan notices her and brings her in to have dinner with them. The man in the house, a fella called Zahir, thanks Nynaeve for keeping the Dai Shan safe and bringing him home. Nynaeve sees Lan talking animatedly with the child in the house and smiles at him. Later, they chat on the way back to their rooms. Lan heads off to bed and starts undressing for bed. Once he gets his shirt off, though, Nynaeve comes in. She asks if he wants her to go. They kiss, which I would take as an emphatic No to that question.

 

This is a great nod, had to acknowledge it twice.

Outside, Rand is on the archery range. He’s firing arrows to work off stress but can’t hit the yellow bullseye. Egwene comes out, pointing out she’d been waiting an hour in her room for him to come and apologize, to which Rand counters by saying that his hard-won experience taught him she’d find him when she’s ready to talk. Rand apologizes for the remarks about her and Perrin, to which she says there definitely isn’t anything there, but she’s mad that he thought she doesn’t care about Mat. Rand admits that he said it because he’s scared and that he doesn’t want to lose her. Egwene insists they’ll all come back. Rand tells her that regardless of what happens at the Eye that she should go to the Tower. To not try to ignore her power as it won’t let her. He promises to go with her and support her. They kiss.

 

Eh-hem: "Ccccaaaannnn you feel the love tonight?
The Peace the evening bringggggs"

Back in Lan’s room, Nynaeve is getting dressed and preparing to slip out. Lan wakes up as she finishes doing her braid. She asks him what Dai Shan means. He explains that it’s a Malkieri title, for their future kings. He doesn’t think it matters as his country died years ago. He explains that Zahir was one of Lan’s father’s arm’s men and is the one that carried him out of Malkier when it fell. Nynaeve finally realized why he allowed himself to be bonded to Moiraine. That Lan is a “King without a Kingdom. A boy without a Home.” But now he belongs… to her. They hold hands. Lan doesn’t think Moiraine owns him, not anymore than the other Two Rivers folk own Nynaeve. He asks her to stay.

 

We cut over to Rand and Egwene, she’s sleeping but he’s awake and brooding. Rand remembers his father fighting the Trolloc in their house, but also remembers the trek down from their house to the village. Oh… crap. While delirious with fever, thinking he was speaking to his late wife Kari, Tam revealed to Rand that he found Rand. Rand walks out to the Range and starts shooting, this time hitting the bullseye each time. He starts having flashbacks to when he escaped Dena’s backroom, to remembering the Mountain, and to when he tried to shield Egwene from the Trolloc in the Ways. And in memory one and three, we finally see that he channeled to break the door down and he was the one that threw the Trolloc back with his weave in the ways. Damn. We also hear from Machin Shin in that part of the flashback that Rand knew he was the Dragon Reborn.

 

He goes to see Min. This exchange made me chuckle.

 

Min, “Oh, it’s you.”

 

Rand, “Did you know I was coming?”

 

Min, “Yeah, sorta comes with the territory.”

 

He asks her to tell him he’s not the Dragon Reborn, which she does but is clearly just parroting the words. There’s kind of a tense moment where he apologizes and then Min tells him that he needs to tell her he WANTS to hear what she has to say, as there’s no turning back from the knowledge. They have a drink, and Min explains. The first vision she ever had was when she was in Tar Valon traveling with her family. She saw a man in armor carrying Rand’s heron marked sword. She saw snow and blood when she looked at him, and a baby born on the slopes of Dragonmount. The man took the baby home and raised him in a village surrounded by two rivers. This narration is over the visuals of the man, Tam, planting his sword in the ground and helping the Maiden, Rand’s mother, birth him. She dies right after, and Tam takes him. Rand asks what she sees now while looking at him, and she says, “Rainbows and carnivals and three beautiful women.” Min also sees the Eye of the World, and Rand asks if he makes it back. She doesn’t answer, which is kind of an answer.

 

Way more trees than I pictured in the Blight.

That morning, Egwene goes to talk to Nynaeve, to discover her room empty and her bed not slept in. She smiles at that and sits to wait. Nynaeve comes in a moment later and teases her friend about the obvious night out she had. Nynaeve apologizes for accidentally “stirring” things up, just before Perrin comes in. The three there agree they should go, just before Egwene asked where Rand is. Lan comes to the room and reveals that Moiraine masked their bond. We see Rand going to Moiraine’s room, probably a few hours earlier but the blocking is vague, and him reveal to her that he is the Dragon Reborn.

 

We cut to the two of them approaching a tangled, chocked forest. This is the blight, and they must pass through it to get to the Eye. They enter as the credits roll. Damn. Just Damn.

 

I really enjoyed this penultimate episode of season 1. The travel along the Ways was the right level of creepy, with the darkness and the unseen man following from a distance. Very spooky. Although, considering Moiraine channeled to get out, I’m curious how Fain did too. Since he can’t do that. We got to see how each of the characters handle being faced with a situation where they have a high chance of dying. Egwene believes in fate, Nynaeve and Perrin deny, and Rand… well, tries to shove people away since he knows what he must do. Yeah, Rand is the Dragon Reborn. Sorry to anyone who’d hoped that it would be one of the others. But at least you had the fun of speculating, as I said in my character profile, the identity of the Dragon Reborn in the book was incredibly obvious from the moment they establish that reincarnation is a thing in this universe. I liked how they used the archery targets here. See, in the books, for Rand to access his power, Saidin, he needs to enter a meditative trance called the Flame and the Void. He pictures a flame in his head and feeds all his emotions into it. Once he’s empty, the power is there, though it doesn’t always come to him when he wants it. This is a trick he picked up from Tam, who used it to win the archery contest in the Two Rivers every year. And in the books, there are several instances where Rand has difficulty doing something at first but gets significantly better at it when he uses the Void. They obviously couldn’t show this mental technique in the show without it being super clunky, so I like this nod to how it worked in the book. It was also nice to see Lan and Nynaeve make some headway in their relationship this early on. I kid you not, the books don’t even have the two have an onscreen kiss until the fourth one, and they don’t… eh hem, enjoy each other’s company, until much later. Side note, thank the Light that the show stuck to Jordan’s preferred “Passionate kiss, fade to black,” for romance scenes. I know that the graphic sex and rape on Game of Thrones is what drew a fair number of people in, but I’ve always found sex scenes in shows kind of boring. At the end of the day, it’s just two people in awkward hunched positions making grunting noises, mostly. Not my cup of tea. I would say the only real negative for me was the fight in the sitting room, mostly because I’m not a fan of love triangles of any kind, least of all this of Perrin, Rand and Egwene especially when they invented a character to Fridge before that ball started rolling. Ugh. Oh, and shout out to Kae Alexander who played Min. There are some viewers that read the books that weren’t a fan of her look. These people are idiots, as Min being a woman who dresses in traditionally men’s clothes and being so androgynous that Rand wasn’t totally sure when they firsts met if she was a man or woman is 100% how it went down in the books. Kae Alexander did an excellent job showing this obviously burn out Min. And her general annoyance with Rand showing up and messing with her life. Yes, she’ll be around quite a bit in later seasons, so this bleh attitude towards Rand specifically will be explain. Next time, we travel to the Eye.  

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