Review: Spider-Man: No Way Home

 Spider-Man dips his toe into the multiverse.

I’m sorry this took so long, life has been hectic lately, as you all well know. Let’s skip a lengthy preamble and get right to it, shall we?

 

Such a cool poster.

Spider-Man: No Way Home opens where Spider-Man: Far From Home ended, Peter taking MJ for a webswing around New York, dropping her off and then seeing that Mysterio had sent a faked video of his ‘murder’ to the Daily Bugle web show and outed him as Peter Parker. He freaks out for a second, but then sees MJ starting to get mobbed by others who saw the reveal and the two try to find some place to get away from people. Tall order in one of the most populated cities in the world. They swing about, traveling over the city, through sewers, just barely dodging Flash Thompson who is horrified to learn Peter and Spider-Man are the same person, before landing at the Parker’s apartment. We come in on Aunt May in the process of breaking up with Happy when they hear Peter come in and go to check on him. Classic bit, they come in just as Peter begins taking off his costume, they see Peter in his boxers with his girlfriend, assume and everyone is embarrassed. Peter and MJ do their best to try to distract Aunt May and Happy, we learn in their distraction that May is breaking up with Happy because he’s a bit too clingy, but they’re forced to reveal to them that Peter has been outed. Shortly, Peter and his friends and family are brought in by the Department of Damage Control (The US government department that handles superhero stuff) for questioning. MJ is tight lipped in her interrogation, where we learn that her legal name is Michelle Jones Watson, but she refuses to be referred to as such, Ned is tricked into revealing that he’s been the “man in the chair” for years now, and Peter just tries to tell the truth, but no one believes him. He’s let go though, and he and Aunt May look to get legal counsel.

 

Daredevil catch!

His legal counsel comes in the form of Matthew Michael Murdock, esq. My theater gasped when we saw Charlie Cox on screen as Matt Murdock, and we cheered when the scene kept going. Matt advises them that there is no evidence that Peter was involved in the murder and massacre in London beyond Mysterio’s “confession” so legally he’s fine. Unfortunately, there is the court of public opinion, and they need far less evidence to convict someone. Case in point, someone at that moment hurls a brick through the Parker’s window. Peter reacts to catch it, but Matt is faster, catching it in midair. When everyone is shocked by this, Matt just shrugs and says he’s “a very good Lawyer.” To try to get some peace, Peter and May move into Happy’s condo, he insisted.

 

Peter tries to go back to life, complicated by things like Flash acting like their BFFs and using that fake connection to hawk his book Flashpoint, his teachers putting up a shrine to him (one believes Mysterio) and just people following him and harassing him and his friends. One bit of piece he can find is being alone on the school roof with MJ. He, MJ, and Ned try to take their minds off the insanity and look forward to getting into college. Unfortunately, they are rejected from all the schools they allied to, even their group dream school of MIT. Flash got in though, and Ned get’s a great moment where he gets to call him an idiot for not being able to read the damn room when he comes into the donut shop MJ works at to celebrate with them. MJ, who is pessimistic by nature, tries to brush it off and get back to cleaning up the Halloween lights that are still up despite it being nearly Christmas. Seeing the little light with a wizard on it gives Peter the idea that will ultimately make a mess of his life.

 

I see this going well, no complications.

Peter goes to the Sanctum Sanctorum, finding the place covered in snow. Apparently, Dr. Strange told Wong to make sure one of the portals in the Sanctum was closed, he forgot, and a blizzard blown through. In Wong’s defense, he’s still technically the Sorcerer Supreme so his duties are a bit too numerous to remember to shut one door. He got the job while Strange was blipped and Strange hasn’t officially claimed it back yet. Peter asks Strange if he could use magic to make everyone forget that he is Spider-Man. Strange agrees, despite Wong’s warnings, and they go to the bowels of the Sanctum to perform the spell. Strange begins casting the Ruins of Kof-Kol, preparing to make everyone forget. Realizing that when Strange meant Everyone-everyone, Peter tries to edit the spell so that Aunt May, MJ, and Ned are excluded. But each recast of the initial spell makes it more and more difficult to control until it breaks. Strange is able to contain the spell, though, and is more than a little pissed when he learns Peter jumped from Rejection from college to magic mind rewriting instead of the more obvious “talk to admissions and see if they’ll change their minds,” and kicks him out.

 

With help from Flash to find the head of admissions, Peter swings to the Alexander Hamilton Bridge where she’s stuck in traffic on the way to the airport. He wears his Iron Spider-Suit over his normal person suit, so he looks professional. He tries to talk to her, but is interrupted by a mysterious man with robotic tentacles starting to destroy the bridge. The man, Alfred Molina’s Doc Ock, greets Peter and tries to kill him. Peter holds him off long enough for most of the people in the immediate area to run. Ock grapples Peter and rips off some off Peter’s nano-tech suit. He incorporates the suit into his tentacles, upgrading them. He’s rather shocked when Peter transfers his suit’s mask’s nano-tech to his chest revealing his face. The shock is long enough for Peter to use his suit to override and disable Ock’s tentacles. He uses his new control over Ock’s tentacles to save the admin, who promises to help Peter and his friends to get into MIT. Peter thanks her, but a moment later he hears a mad cackle and sees something coming towards him in the sky on a glider. The figure drops a bunch of bombs that go off, but before the fight can begin anew, Peter and Ock are Sling-ring portaled to the Sanctum Sanctorum. With Ock being put into a cage.

 

Hell of a team-up.

Strange reveals that when Peter kept changing the properties to the spell, he basically reversed it. Instead of making everyone who knows Peter Parker is Spider-Man to forget in this universe, it drew in people who knew Peter Parker is Spider-Man from outside the universe. Explaining Ock, and the Lizard, whom Strange had found and captured in the sewers earlier. He locked the remnants of the spell into a prison called the Macchina di Kadavus until they can sort things out. Strange tasks Peter, and he brings MJ and Ned in, to find these visitors, capture them with a device he’s given, while Strange works on repairing the spell.

 

Peter swings out to woods outside the city. He’s in a reversed version of his suit, as he’d gotten green paint thrown on him earlier, and finds a being of electricity riding the wires. He’s almost electrocuted, but is saved by Flint Marko, the Sandman. They work together and cut the power. Separated from the power, the being returns to human form, revealing it to be Max Dillion aka Electro. Electro and Sandman are captured and brought to the Sanctum as is Peter. Electro was captured first, making Marco think Peter killed him, and he tries to retaliate but is then captured himself.

 

Meanwhile, in an alley in town, we see a disheveled Norman. The Goblin is yelling at him for being weak again. In anger, he smashes the Goblin mask and dress himself in rags before heading out.

 

Peter gets a call from Aunt May and learns that Norman is at the FEAST center where she works. He sprints to save her, only to find she’s having a very pleasant conversation with Norman. He sort of explains the situation to May, who encourages Peter to try to help these people, as Norman in his right mind is a sympathetic sort. He mentions how he discovered he, Oscorp and Harry don’t seem to exist in this reality and that’s left him despondent. He takes Norman with him, who is promptly put in a cell by Strange. It’s here that Norman, Otto, and Electro all learn that they’re destined to die when they return to their home realities. The spell that brought them here having given them life, or merely pulled them out of their timestream just before their deaths. Oh, it’s also here that they learn the Lizard can talk, he’s the one that told Max. He’d been playing mute this whole time. Peter, not wanting to doom these guys asks Strange for more time, maybe to help them. Norman mentions that he’s something of a scientist himself, so he could help too. But Strange wants to send them back and to their fates rather than risk the multiverses. Peter grabs the Macchani and tries to run. He and Strange battle outside the Sanctum. There’s a pretty cool bit where Strange tries the out off body spell that the Ancient One used on the Hulk in Endgame, but Peter’s spider-sense moves his arms on autopilot until his spirit can return to his body. Strange locks them in a mirror dimension, trying to capture Peter in the dimension he can twist around in relative ease. Peter, though, outsmarts him by noticing there’s a patter to how things shift and double and use it to tangle Steven Strange in webbing. He steals Strange’s sling-ring, leaving him effectively trapped in the dimension and escapes. He gives Ned the sling-ring and MJ the Macchani, telling them to keep it safe and break the spell open, sending the villains back to their realities, if they don’t get messages from him regularly.

 

Two of Peter's most powerful foes helping.

Peter frees the villains and takes them back to Happy’s condo. Well, most of them. Norman, Otto, Max, and Flint are brought up, but Connors elects to stay in the truck. Maybe anti-social, maybe to save on the CGI budget. I have got to imagine keeping Flint in sand form as well as making Otto look younger ate up a lot of the budget. Earlier, they’d discovered that Happy had kind of, sort of stolen a Stark Industries Fabricator machine. It’s like a 3D printer, but it can build complex machinery and chemical compounds. Peter and Norman settle on making Otto a new inhibitor chip first, as that is probably the simplest fix. They build the inhibitor chip, with a reinforced casing, and implant it on Otto’s neck. Once the voices of his tentacles are removed, Otto quickly recovers and does his best to help with the other cures. While the science types work, Max and Flint have a chat and bond over the fact they were both transformed by falling into something. They make a special siphon to use on Max, one that if he wears for a few hours will drain away the excess electricity in his system and return him to normal. Outside, J. Jonah Jameson arrives, having been tracking Peter for some time looking for mud to sling, calls Damage Control.

 

They work on a cure for Norman, but before they can administer it, the Goblin persona takes over. He quickly convinces Max to side with him, and Electro removes and crushes the siphon and steals the Arc reactor from the fabricator to amplify his powers. Otto gets electrocuted by Electro and runs off, and Flint also flees not wanting to get mixed up in all this. Peter has to fight off the Goblin, with the escaped Lizard and Electro also taking potshots at him until he crashes to the ground floor. May, being a badass, gets the cure they’d been working on, runs up and jabs Green Goblin with it. Unfortunately, the cure doesn’t work as intended. She gets hit by his glider and stabbed. He throws some goblin bombs to cover his escape. Peter digs May out of the rubble, and she, like her husband in alternate timelines, gives Peter the With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility speech, before dying from her injuries. Happy pulls up and gives Peter enough cover from Damage Control to escape. Later, Peter watches a Daily Bugle news report by Jameson, blaming him for the damage at the condo and the death of his aunt.

 

Ned and MJ, concerned about not hearing from Peter after seeing what happened on the news, try to use the sling-ring in a vain hope to try to find him. To their shock, Ned has enough magic in him to make it work, and they are able to find A Peter, just not their Peter. Nope, this is Peter Parker as played by Andrew Garfield. Weirdly, no one questions why he looks so different from their Peter. He proves himself by 1. Being in the costume, 2. Clinging to the ceiling, and then 3. Cleaning a dusty spot Ned’s grandma can’t reach. Since the ring worked in a way, they try again, find another Peter, but it’s Peter Classic as played by Tobey McGuire. I’ll be referring to Peter Tobey as Peter C (Classic) and Andrew’s as Peter S (Spectacular) Both Peters had been brought over with the villains but have done a better job laying low as they looked for Peter M (MCU). With magic not helping, Peter C and S ask where Peter would go when he wanted to be alone.

 

Peter, Peter and Peter being Peter.

MJ and Ned realize that he’s up on Midtown high’s building. They meet Peter and his friends try to talk him through his grief. It doesn’t work as well as they’d hoped, but then C and S join in and try to give their younger self their perspective on grief. This helps and they’re able to help Peter feel process his grief, partially by revealing that May filled in the role of their Uncle’s Ben. The three Peters, MJ and Ned break into the lab at Midtown and begin to work on cures for the villains. Peter S takes on Lizard’s cure, while Peter’s C and M work on Goblin and Sandman’s. The Peter’s bond over their love of science, giving advice to Peter and his friends, and give us little epilogues. Peter C talks about how he had problems finding a work/life balance for a little bit, but he and his MJ were able to work things out. Peter S mentions that he’s been in a bit of a hate spiral since Gwen Stacey’s death, but he’s been working through it bit by bit. They also tell Ned about how Peter’s best friend has a habit of betraying him and/or ending up killing themselves, which freaks him out. They finish their cures, and lure the villains to the Statue of Liberty (being modified to have Cap’s Shield) by telling them to show up or they’ll break the Macchina and send them to their fates.

 

And you obviously need to watch the movie to see how this all works out. It’s rather heartbreaking.

 

Jaime Foxx Electro+

I loved this movie. It had all the things that I wanted in a Spider-Man film. We got to see Peter face off against his biggest challenge yet. It served as also an epilogue to the lingering Spider-Men’s plots. We got confirmation that Peter and MJ in the Raimi films has been fine, and while Peter in Sony’s film has been in a dark place, him saving Peter’s MJ in the fall during this film’s finale seems to suggest him might be moving forward a bit. While it didn’t start until the third act, I loved the dynamic between the Peters. It was a very natural and beautiful sibling dynamic that I really enjoyed. All though it was a bit weird when you think about the fact they’re the same guy. There’s a pretty good bit I glossed over where Peter S and M were absolutely flabbergasted by C having biological webshooters. Not going to lie, I’d love another Spider-Verse film with them. I also kind of loved that May was used as the MCU version of Ben. Ben Parker is a character I like and respect, but he’s more of a presence than a character in most stories. May, on the other hand, is Peter’s rock, is the one that loves him unconditionally and holds him up as best she can. So the fact that she not only showed Peter what it is to be a hero, to run up and risk herself to stop Green Goblin, and her ultimately sacrificing herself for the greater good makes the power and responsibility line fit so much better here in my book. I loved seeing the villains from the old films were brought in. Giving guys like Otto Octavius, Electro and Green Goblin a chance at being healed and make up for their crimes was kind of nice. And making Goblin be the bane of not one but two Peter’s existence was also brilliant. Green Goblin is one of Peter’s greatest nemesis, so seeing them work him into the MCU canon without recycling the character and get an actor who would be inferior to Willem Dafoe’s performance is great.

 

Since I don’t have a negative, other than Electro being there and confirmed didn’t know who Peter was is odd, I’ll talk about the falling action. I understand why Peter ultimately decided to cut himself off from Ned and MJ, that they were hurt in this recent fight and worried that they might be hurt worse again, I can understand why he pulled back. It’s wrong, making a choice for them, but I can get why he did it. I’m worried for Peter, as while I do know that the most interesting Spider-Man stories have Peter losing whenever Spider-Man wins, to break him down to having no support structure at all is never good for him. I hope that he’ll find his way back to MJ and Ned, hopefully before Ned ends up going Hobgoblin. Yeah, Peter, you never considered losing you might make your friend into a villain, did you? The next era in Peter’s life will certainly be interesting.

 

OH, and I wonder what they’re going to do about Venom. The Symbiote just being around in the MCU can’t possibly be good.

 

So yeah, I really liked this ending to this era of Peter Parker’s life. Next time I’ll probably be talking about the New Batman. See you then!

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Viewer Log: What if...? ep 9

To stop the Ultimate Ultron, you need a team.  

Last time on What if…?, we saw what would happen if Ultron had won. The evil Android was able to upload himself into the perfected body that in the main MCU would have become Vision. He dispatched the superpowered Avengers and then nuked the whole planet. Hawkeye and Black Widow survived and sought to defeat him. When Thanos came to take the Mind Stone, Ultron destroyed him, took the Infinity Stones, and then used their power to begin purging the universe of life. After destroying all the shown civilizations in the MCU, he… sensed Uatu. Natasha and Clint are able to find the way to stop Ultron in the KGB archive, the location of the last of Arnim Zola’s terminals. Ultron is able to shatter through reality and he and Uatu begin to fight. Clint and Natasha get Zola uploaded into a drone, but unfortunately, he can’t stop the Ultron as the Prime Ultron is currently between dimensions fighting Uatu. Clint sacrifices himself destroying a Dominion of Ultrons to help Natasha and Zola in an Ultron Drone escape. Uatu is beaten across multiple realities despite hitting back against Ultron hard as well. He ultimately escapes, teleporting into the final fragment of Strange Supreme’s reality to ask the dark wizard for help. Enough recap, let’s get to it.

 

Episode 9: What if the Watcher Broke his Oath

 

Think he's deliberately doing the Mufasa imagery?

We open on Captain Carter at the start of what would be Captain America: Winter Soldier, where Carter is leading a strike team to deal with Batroc the Leaper, who had hijacked the Lemurian Star, a mobile satellite launch platform. Natasha tries to help Carter form a social life, which Peggy is adamantly against as the mission begins. She leaps out of the plane and lands in the water by the ship and hops on board. She easily dispatches Batroc’s crew before going toe to toe with the leaper himself. The fight is interrupted when she sees Uatu appear in the sky. He decrees she has been chosen. We then cut to T’Challa-Star-Lord’s timeline, where Ego is on Earth siphoning the power from his son Peter Quill. T'Challa saves Quill and blows up Ego’s avatar before he’s summoned. We jump again to the interstellar forge where Thanos’ Infinity Gauntlet was forged. It’s being melted down as a space Tony Stark and a Gamora with Thanos’ sword supervises, Tony beginning to pitch the idea of Ultron when Gamora is summoned. Another jump, and we’re in Wakanda. Shuri, Pepper and the Dora Milaje are racing through a ravaged city to depose the traitorous want-to-be Panther, Killmonger, when he is summoned. Party Thor is destroying Ultron drones in Vegas when he is also summoned.

 

All the summoned individuals find themselves in the pub where Sharon Carter, Steve Rogers and the Howling Commandos all celebrated their first victory, regardless of timeline. Strange Supreme says that the façade was his idea, he read about it in her biography. Uatu arrives and explains the situation to the people he gathered. He’d wanted to find one true hero, but decided he needed a team to save all universes. He dubs them the Guardians of the Multiverse. Thor thinks he’s joking and tries to leave but is almost sucked into the void. They decide to listen to him.

 

Uatu explains the situation, that Ultron is a synthetic being that has become a cosmic being thanks to the power of the Infinity Stones. They think they can stop him if they’re able to separate him from the Stones. After getting Chinese food, Thor was feeling peckish, they start formulating a plan. The plan is to use Thor to gain Ultron’s attention, then take the stones and stick them in a device that Gamora brought, the Infinity Crusher. It’ll crush the Stones into subatomic particles. They suit up and Uatu transports them to the battle.

 

Pop that skull, T!

They set up based on a planet with a low enough score on the Kardashev Scale to avoid Ultron’s attention, meaning a zero. Look it up. Strange is holding up a barrier to help camouflage them. He, and Carter talk, and she learns that her lost love Steve Rogers was Captain America in his timeline. The thought of him with the enhanced physique clearly intrigues her. Killmonger opens the Ultron Skull they have and examine it. The team toasts the Guardians of the Multiverse, Thor throwing up a lightning bolt… which draws Ultron’s notice. As Thor put it, he warned them, he excels at attracting unwanted attention.  Strange’s cloak points to the rift that Ultron drops down from, Strange throws up protection spells on them all, and Killmonger and Gamora are transported to do their part. Thor tries to blast Ultron with lightning, but he blocks it, then crushes the mountain they’re standing on. The group gets back up, though and Ultron delivers one of his better lines, “Interesting. You people are usually much easier to kill.” Thor throws his hammer, Strange multiplying them so Ultron is stuck in a Mjolnir storm. Star-Lord takes Carter up, and she rams him with the shield before taking a shot at Ultron himself. He is tossed aside, but he was able to remove the Soul Stone. Strange blasts him with fire from three dragon heads to buy Carter and Star-Lord time to run. Ultron realizes his Soul Stone is gone when he tries to bring in reinforcements and knocks the fire back. Strange buries Ultron in Zombies to distract him and they escape through another portal. Ultron destroys the bulk of the zombies… but then get’s hit by a chaos blast from Scarlet Witch Zombie. Her power is enough to buy them a few more minutes in escaping. He destroys her and the damn planet.

 

Not the heroes we're used to but good all the same.

They arrive on Ultron’s original earth and prepare to load the Soul Stone into the Crusher, but then Natasha drives in and nabs it. She’s hostile to them at first, but Carter talks her down as while it’s not true in this dimension, she and Carter are “bff’s” in Carter’s. Ultron comes in, though, before they can use the Crusher and grabs her telekinetically. Thor disarms him and he drops the stone. Killmonger runs to grab it and tosses it back to them. Ultron regenerates his arm and starts blasting them. He has another good line here, “I can destroy galaxies with a thought. Why won’t you all die?!” and fires a blast wave intending to do that. But Strange eats the attack? I guess. The brawl begins again. Natasha and Carter throwing shields at him to slow him down until the others start attacking too. Mjolnir, sword slices, magic blasts and constant shield tosses keep him on his toes. He almost gets the Soul Stone, but Gamora slices him in two… but then he uses the time stone to rewind her killing blow, stopping them all and gets the Stone back. He almost puts it in place but Strange used his own Time Stone to negate his and grabs him with tentacles. Ultron breaks free and grows giant size. Strange unleashes his full demonic power to wrap him in tentacles then drop him to the ground. He and Thor blast Ultron with energy as Gamora gets the Stone. They bind Ultron magically and implant the Soul Stone in the crusher. It walks up to him and forcibly removes all the Infinity Stones and then self-destructs. They wonder if it’s over, but T’Challa says it doesn’t feel over. He's proven right when Ultron starts monologuing about how the multiverse works, and Gamora realizes that the Crusher was designed to work on her universe’s Infinity Stones, not this one’s. Damn it.

 

Solid distraction.

Ultron rises into the sky and blasts them with a ray of destructive energy. He realizes that Strange is the one behind the defensive magic and that if he kills him, they all fall. He hits them with a destructive wave, knocking Carter and Natasha back. Widow, though, lands right by her motorcycle, where the USB Arrow is waiting. She drives up to Cap and tells her that she has an idea but needs distance and a clear target. Ultron’s attack begins to break through Strange’s shields. Star-Lord is thrown back and pinned. Carter begins parkouring and Nat driving to their target. Strange’s power begins running out just as Carter runs up. Natasha drives off the building and fires the arrow. Carter jumps, grabs Ulton’s visor and pulls it back in time for the arrow to hit him squarely in the eye. As Nat said, it was for Clint, so maybe he helped her shot just a little. The virus uploads into Ultron just before Strange’s power was about to run out. Zola, when introduced into Ultron’s system, begins infecting it. He explains his objective is to end Ultron for ending HYDRA. The body shorts out and crashes into the ground.

 

Couldn't have happened to a nicer pair of guys.

The heroes get up. Killmonger gets in close and uses the Ultron Head he was tinkering with to steal Ultron’s armor and the Stones. Oh, no, who could have guessed the Eric would betray everyone (deadpan). Killmonger says that the Uatu owes them this, that he’ll use the Stones to fix their worlds. T’Challa tells him to hand them over, which he refuses. Killmonger blasts them all back and prepares to destroy them. Zola in Vision gets up and the two begin to fight over control of the stones. Strange realize that they were never meant to win, but to just separate the Stones from the body. Strange gathers his strength and then seals them in a prism and Uatu blasts them, trapping them. Uatu and Strange take them into Strange’s pocket dimension and he promises to make sure that pocket dimension remains stable. Uatu returns his Guardians to the pub and thanks them for their help. He returns his guardians to the exact moment they left as they walk out of the pub. Carter stays back, asking if maybe Uatu could return her home, to her happy ending, but he says their world needs its Captain. Left with Natasha, she starts freaking out about him just watching. She says that they’re just all stories to him, not real people. Uatu disagrees, saying that they are special to him. Natasha refuses to walk through the door, but Uatu revels it was more of a metaphor anyway. He takes them too… the Helicarrier as it’s under attack by Loki and his Asgardians. Yeah, this is the universe where the Avengers were all killed except Captain America. He, SHIELD and Captain Marvel are doing their best to hold Loki off. He explains that this world lost its Black Widow, and it needs her.  Natasha doesn’t hesitate, leaping into the fray and saving Fury’s life. She uses the staff on him, blanking his mind. Fury realizes she’s not his Natasha but has her spirit. We see all the heroes returning to their stories, T’Challa and Quill shooting at Ego’s forces, Gamora and Iron Man getting back to their business, and Thor and Jane hugging. Uatu muses about how across reality, everyone is just looking for their place in their world, and that he will always be watching and defending them.

 

Uatu watches you.

We get a mid-credit sequence of Natasha helping Carter out with Batroc. Obviously, Carter is overjoyed to see her friend again, which freaks Nat out just a bit. Nat takes her to what the pirates were after. Inside, they find the HYDRA stomper. Peggy is shocked by this, but then Natasha drops the bigger bombshell. There’s someone inside. Oh, that’s a real sweet way to end the episode.

 

This was a great finale. Sure, we had to ignore that Ultron’s Infinity Stones should have lost power when he took them out of his home universe, but this was cool enough of a concept for me to do so. Ultron at full power is able to hold off a hyper powered Dr. Strange and Thor with relative ease, which is insane to me. I liked seeing how this whole plan unfolded, and how it’s revealed how far ahead that Uatu was from everyone else in this fight. Hell, he brought along Killmonger specifically so he could betray them all and then beam struggle with Zola long enough for them to be captured. That’s cold blooded but awesome. Way to pick the worst Killmonger to use as your sacrifice piece, Uatu. I also loved how they ended up circling back to the one episode that they didn’t pull heroes from to drop Natasha off in. I even liked the acknowledgement that Strange Supreme isn’t exactly evil. Like, he obviously did the worst thing possible, but is still willing to be Zola and Killmonger’s jailer for… eternity. I wonder how they’ll explain him ditching that responsibility in Multiverse of Madness. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, Gamora’s episode was planned for this season, but was cut due to Covid. I assume it’ll be in season 2 at some point. No use wasting an episode that is probably almost done just because her final reveal was already used. And I’ll close by repeating that ending on Carter getting the chance to see her Steve again was incredibly sweet way to end this. I overall did enjoy What if…? even if some episodes were way stronger than others. I will be watching season 2 for sure. Tomorrow, finally, will be my review of Spider-Man: No Way Home. I swear. 

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Twitter: @BasicsSuperhero

Viewer Log: What if...? ep 8

 When Ultron wins, all of life loses. 

Last time on What if…?, we saw what an “only child” Thor planetary party was like. I seriously picture his five not-Loki brothers just sitting in Luxemburg, glaring at him. Thor throws a planet wide party while his father is in the Odinsleep and his mother is out visiting her sisters. Thor’s parties get pretty wild, though, making acting director of SHIELD Maria Hill nervous. Jane Foster and Darcy end up kind of in the middle, as they enjoyed the party, but also don’t want Thor to destroy Earth. Captain Marvel gets called in, but Thor is one of those beings powerful enough to match her. Eventually, Jane gets the big idea to call Thor’s mom. Frigga comes to Earth, Thor just barely being able to clean up Earth before she does so. Frigga clearly knows he threw a party, but lets him get away with it just this once. Thor asks Jane out on a date, but their budding romance is seemingly put on hold when a Dominion of Ultron’s cross the dimensional barrier into his reality, lead by a Vision in Ultron Armor. Oh my. Enough recap, let’s get to it.  

 

Episode 8: What if Ultron Won?

 

Well, we're doomed.

We open with Uatu telling us that this isn’t the first story about the world on the brink of annihilation, but this one in particular breaks his heart. We drop from the sky on high to Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, racing through a ruin on a motorcycle as Ultron Drones race after her. Hawkeye does his best to slow them down with arrow shots, but he kills dozens when there are hundreds. She can race around them, though, and keep going. A squad goes to take care of Clint, but he’s got a camo cloak that renders him invisible, giving him the drop on the robots. Whatever has happened to earth, it seems to have cost Clint his right arm, but he’s got a shiny replacement. They take the drones out, within seconds before their signal blocker would have ended at the individual drones could have alerted the central Ultron intelligence. It’s revealed they’re in Moscow and are looking for something to take Ultron down once and for all.

 

Uatu gives us the basic summary of Age of Ultron, Tony in his arrogance and desire to protect the world, used the Mind Stone to create a super advanced AI. That AI, Ultron, went rogue in the time it took him to get onto the internet, shock of shocks, and set about preparing to destroy the world. He needed a perfected body, though, as he was only a consciousness. The difference that started this domino effect is that Ultron was able to upload his mind into his perfected body, stopping the Vision from existing and making him… well… unstoppable. With the Mind Stone’s power he’s able to overwhelm and kill the superhuman avengers, and ends up launching the worlds nukes. Hawkeye and Black Widow survived as they were in a Quinjet at the time.

 

Power! Unlimited POWER!!

Ultron basked in his victory, just before Thanos opened a portal. Thanos was intent on getting the Mind Stone, but Ultron dispatches him quite easily with it. He then takes the other Infinity Stones and forges an even more powerful body with them. Seems like cheating that the inorganic being can use their power repeatedly without damage but what are ya going to do? In his enhanced state, he saw that there were other worlds, worlds that “need” him. He forms an endless army and vessels to take them to every corner of the universe. Asgard falls first, then the Sovereign, Sakaar, and Ego fall quickly. He attacks Xandar but is briefly slowed by Captain Marvel. She forces them into the planet’s core and tries to melt him or crush him, but he overpowers here and obliterates them planet. Apparently, Xandar was the last planet on his list, and he takes a moment to process that he had completed his mission.

 

Uatu tries to quickly give the story a sad ending, that Ultron destroyed all life so now he is doomed to exist in the universes alone… but Ultron hears him. Uatu tries to pull back, blanking the crystal that he uses to glimpse infinity. He points out that he has literally seen everything, everything that is, was or will be, and that still freaked him out. He realizes that if Ultron escapes into the Multiverse, the destruction is unfathomable. That universe, and all universes, still has hope.

 

We join Clint and Natasha as they start leafing through KGB hard copy archives trying to find whatever it is they’re looking for. They search thousands, with Natasha ends up finding her father’s Red Guardian Shield. Clint isn’t amused by the shield, though and goes back to searching. Uatu, watching, sees that they’re literally a box over from what they need. He wants to help, to intervene, but he hesitates. He hears Ultron’s voice, claiming “I will find you,” and so frantically cheers Clint on. Clint pulls out the box, but he loses the will to keep searching. Natasha tries to keep his spirits up, with Uatu begging them to get back to searching. Natasha does go back, and finds the answer, Arnim Zola.

 

Uatu celebrates them finding the answer, just as Ultron breaks through the dimensional wall to get to him. Damn. He blasts Uatu aside, and the two begin to battle.

 

Natasha and Clint enter the Siberian lab that housed one of several Arnim Zola AI’s that he created before his death in the 70s. They boot him up, they brush passed the introductions and get to the nuts and bolts. They want to use Zola’s AI brain to infiltrate Ultron’s code and destroy him. While it’s possible, Zola asks the obvious “Why should I help you?” question. Clint threatens to destroy him with water, as he’s the last Zola AI, that means he’ll die for real. Zola blinks first and agrees. Natasha calls up Avengers Tower and get’s Ultron’s attention. Clint downloads Zola into a hard drive arrow. They explain that they’re going to upload him into Ultron’s Sentry net. While the main Ultron is off world, this should allow him to leap from drone to drone and destroy them all. The set the lab on fire just before the Drone’s arrive.

 

What a way to go. 

Clint hits one in the eye with the Hard Drive arrow, beginning the upload. Clint and Natasha destroy several dozen drones to separate their infected one and pull it to safety with them. Natasha does her pops and Steve proud with her Shield work in the fighting. Zola uploads enough of himself to get the drone moving, so Natasha shoots out his shins to keep him compliant. Zola connects to the Ultron Hive Mind… but can’t stop them. Apparently, the Hive is out of range. How odd. The trio beat a hasty retreat, traveling up an old missile silo to get out. Clint is able to stop the drones for a few seconds with a shield wall, but they get enough of themselves through to shoot at them to knock Clint down. Natasha catches him, but he makes her drop him as he “doesn’t want to fight anymore” he drops, firing a nuclear arrow it seems, destroying the drones and himself. Natasha and Zola escape, barely. Zola tries to puzzle out what is happening. Turns out, while each drone is capable of faster-than-light communication across the universe, it seems Ultron Prime is outside the observable universe.

 

We must Kung Fu fight!

Meanwhile, Ultron and Uatu are battling. The Watcher has immense power all his own, he’s able to hold back Ultron’s attacks and knock him back to his home universe for a second. He claims this shouldn’t be possible, but Ultron counters by saying anything is possible in the multiverse. He backhands Uatu into a universe, following. Ultron judges Uatu for just watching all of reality, all the suffering, but Uatu makes it clear he holds to his oaths. Ultron tells him that he lacks the will to stop him and starts blasting again. Uatu knocks him back, and summons battle armor. He says the most badass line one could say to a machine “You cannot compute the power of my will.” The two fight again, Ultron knocking Uatu across multiple realities in their struggle. He crashes through one, Ultron seeming to devour the galaxy they’re in, to be knocked into a version of Earth where Captain America is being swore in as US President. Ultron gloats, blasting and then attacking Uatu again, punching him through several more realities before they end up on a frozen world. He grabs Uatu’s head and begins to crush it. Uatu knocks his hand back and teleports away. Ultron tells him to run, to watch, because from where he is, no one can stop him. Uatu portals into Strange Supreme’s prison. Strange Supreme makes him say that he needs Strange’s help as the episode ends. Damn.

 

Wow, this is a great penultimate episode. I’ve always been a little disappointed with how Ultron was used in the MCU. He just kind of seemed to be in and out in a few minutes. Hardly an Age, really. So seeing Ultron win and win so spectacularly that all life in the MCU is eradicated was spectacular. I think it was a shame that Marvel couldn’t get James Spader back to play Ultron again, but Ross Marquand does a spectacular job copying his verbal ticks and cadence to make it seem like maybe Spader just had a cold or something. Fun fact, Marquand has played a few characters in the MCU, most notably he played Red Skull in Infinity War and Endgame. The design for Ultron’s upgraded form was great too, I love that he has most of the Infinity Stone across his chest like a Sigil, with the Mind Stone as the crown jewel, literally. Seeing Natasha and Clint survive in the post’s apocalypse was great too. Seeing them both run down, with Natasha fighting to keep going and Clint at the end of his rope was just great. I especially loved the scene where Clint is dropping to destroy the Dominion of Ultron’s was spectacular. Oh, and that battle with Uatu. Seeing Uatu unleash his power was great. The show has kind of made it seem like all he does is watch, but Uatu is really one of the more powerful beings in the Marvel Universe. Not Galactus or Celestial powerful, but powerful enough that he breaks the laws of physics and reality with the same effort that I go to the grocery store. So, the fact that this enhanced Ultron is powerful enough to throw him off is incredibly scary. I’m really excited to talk about this finale. I’ll see you tomorrow. 

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Twitter: @BasicsSuperhero

Viewer Log: What if...? ep 7

 Party like it's 1999. 

Last time on What if…?, Killmonger interferes with the rebirth of Tony Stark a Iron Man. Killmonger uses his new position as Tony’s BFF to build a robotic drone. He then assassinates Tony, Rhodey, and T’Challa to set the US and Wakanda against each other. Using Vibranium stolen from Wakanda and Stark Industries, he has an army of drones and sends them at Wakanda. He then turns around and helps Wakanda fight off the drones. He weasels his way into the Wakandan royal family by aiding them and is made the new Black Panther. He’s planning on “burning down the world,” but his plan might be derailed, as Shuri and Pepper Potts saw through him and began working to stop him. Enough recap, let’s get to it.

 

Episode 7: What if Thor was an Only Child?

 

I just want to start off this one by saying that the MCU is forever doing Baldur, Tyr, Hodur, Vioarr and Vali dirty by insisting that Loki is Thor’s only sibling. Don’t give me that look, this is as true in Marvel comics as it is in actual Nordic Myth.

 

Guess we're ignoring the whole abandon baby thing.

We open with the opening of Thor, with Darcy flicking peanuts into a mug in Jane Foster’s van just before the Bifrost bridge began to open. Jane frantically tries to get in contact with SHIELD as the bridge gets close to opening, but no body is taking her calls seriously. The Bridge opens... in Vegas? Huh. Thor, Sif and the Warrior’s Three have beamed down from Asgard to throw a huge party. Wow, kay. Uatu narrates how relationships are important to heroes. He explains that the difference in this universe is that when Odin found the abandoned Jotun baby Loki, instead of adopting him, he returned the baby to his “father” Laufey. I do quotes because Laufey is his MOTHER in mythology. Sorry, this has stuck in my craw since 2011. I guess we’re glossing over the fact that Laufey abandoned the baby for being a runt… kay. Uatu explains that without Loki to be his brother and nemesis, Thor has grown into a very different prince. Namely, he gets bored way more often. We return to the story with Odin entering the Odinsleep. This is a 24+ hour rest where Odin recuperates the lion’s share of his phenomenal power. Frigga, Thor’s mother is going to celebrate the solstice with her sisters, leaving Thor in charge of Asgard while she’s away. She tells him to spend the time studying, and warns him Heimdall will be watching, so no parties.

 

1.      Oh my God, this is an 80s party movie set up.

2.      I know the Asgard age slower than mortals, but this is seriously the first time you’ve left him in charge in almost 2000 years, Frigga? Weird

 

Thor gets his friends together and tells them how he refuses to be a stuffy bore like his father and they’re going to throw a party. But on the most backwater, boring place in the 9 realms, the one that Heimdall ignores, Midgard. He tells them to call the realms.

 

Some relationships are universal.

The party goes super well, we see a bunch of alien ships in the sky beaming people down to join the festivities, and even get a cameo from Skurge as he beams in. Jane and Darcy identify Thor as the first alien to arrive. Jane goes to speak with him, as he has several Skrull morph to look like him. Jane tries to talk to him about a star, Alpha Star Icarus, that disappeared a year and a half ago after she detected the Bifrost opening. Thor, who is only half listening as he’s playing party host, reveals, yeah that was him. He threw a party near the star and apparently killed the star in the process. He’s distracted briefly by her tablet and then flirting with her hard. Darcy, seeing that Jane is also being distracted by Thor’s baby blues as he is by her browns, goes to hit up the buffet table with Howard the Duck. How the hell is he the most recurring character in this series alongside T’Challa?

 

The party is still going, the Grandmaster playing DJ, Nebula playing Craps with Korg, Darcy marrying Howard… I need a whole spin off episode explaining that, and Thor and Jane getting Science and Magic tattoos. Hell of a night. The next morning, everyone is clearly hung over when Jane gets several calls and then an angry SHIELD Agent Rumlow pounding on her door. Maria Hill, acting director of SHIELD, arrives and tells her that she needs Jane’s help ending this threat to earth. We find out that Hill is currently in charge because Fury got hit by Korg as he ran to do a cannonball into a found, and that he’s still unconscious. Jane is brought to a Helicarrier and does her best to explain the situation while leaving out the fact she possibly… definitely fooled around with Thor last night. Apparently, Thor is spreading his “party atmosphere’ worldwide, causing basically the whole planet to start partying. He is currently in Paris with his crew because someone was Jonesing for Crepes. Runlow brings out SHIELD’s last resort. Jane is initially against using any “last resort” as it could ruin diplomatic relations between earth and Asgard for generations, Darcy scoffing at Jane’s “Diplomatic relations” from last night, but Hill reveals that it’s the Captain Marvel summoning pager. She makes the call.

 

Power level is comparable confirmed.

Thor is partying in Paris with his crew when HE arrives. And by he, I mean Loki. He apparently got over his runty phase as he’s now of a height with his Frost Giant kin. He demands to see the “Son of a witch, Odinson.” This is an obvious fake out, as after a brief staring contest they shake hands and admit to being “brothers from another mother.” Lads, if you only knew. Their conversation is interrupted by Captain Marvel flying. Loki makes a wish on the star before it’s revealed to be Marvel. Carol tells her to clean up the mess and go, but Thor isn’t done partying. She punches him in the face and sends him flying. Thor declares her a party pooper and she punches him into the sky. He throws Mjolnir at her, and the fight begins.

 

Thor begins by winding up his hammer and flinging her clear across the English Channel to Stonehenge. He flies after and knocks the standing stones down. DUDE. Carol punches him over the Atlantic ocean to US. They brawl, the Captain proving a match for the God of Thunder. He tries to blast her with lighting, but she absorbs it and punches him into the dirt, and then skyward again. The two battle across the sky and end up dueling in storm clouds. They crash back in Paris and Thor pins her under Mjolnir, declaring the Party Pooper needs to learn a few things in Time out.

 

Later, Hill reams the Captain for not being able to stop Thor. Also, Darcy fangirls out hard to her, which just made me laugh. Carol explains that she held back her powers to not destroy the planet. Thor calls up Jane and flirts more. She asks if he destroyed Alpha Star Icarus, which he does say he did, but claims no one got hurt. Even Gary the Goat that Fandral (of the Warriors Three) found got home… eventually. Jane gets called back to her meeting. Hill and Marvel are planning to lure Thor to one of the more inhospitable places on earth, top two contenders seem to be the Mojavi Desert and Siberia seem to be the top contenders, and kaboom him back into space. Jane tries to talk them out of it, but she and Darcy are fired and dropped off in Vegas. While Darcy “reconnects” with Howard, ie argues, Jane tries to call Thor but gets Loki instead. Thor, Loki, and the rest are eating Chinese in China. Jane tries to get Loki to pass the phone to Thor after Loki tries a few unsuccessful come ons, but he smashes the phone by mistake. Darcy, who also got that this is an intergalactic party movie, says it’s a shame they can’t just call Thor’s mom to have her break it up. Jane, realizing that if Thor and Loki must be real, than so must the rest of the mythological figures, calls her a genius and they head to work on the plan.

 

Sometime later, a bunch of Jotuns break that big Ferris Wheel in London, Surtur melts the Statue of Liberty, and other Jotun’s freeze graffiti the Washington monument.  In Sydney, Thor tries to slide down the famous Opera House’s pointy… things, but Captain Marvel grabs him and flies off. Meanwhile, Jane and Darcy, with help from doctor Selvig, make a cosmic call to get Heimdall’s attention. It takes a sec, but he pulls her to Asgard and then sends her to Frigga. Thor is punched into Siberia. Captain Marvel is ready to fight some more, and Maria Hill has nukes ready to blow him to kingdom come. She’s pretty sure Marvel will be fine. Jane tells Frigga what’s happening, and just before Thor and Marvel clash and Hill fires the nukes, Thor gets an angry magic hologram message from his mama, and she is pissed. Though, again, really hurting Baldur, Tyr, Hodur, Vioarr and Vali’s feelings by claiming he’s the only son of Odin. Thor tries to lie, saying he’s in his room studying, just as a polar bear walk by and roars. He claims he’s on Earth as part of a cultural exchange. Frigga, calling his bluff, tells him she simply has to see this “cultural exchange” and is coming to Earth to see it. Hill, realizing that the power of one’s mama showing up to a place you’ve trashed in an unauthorized party dwarfs any Nuke, pulls back. Marvel flies out, telling him to clean outward from the corners.

 

Smooth Odinson

Thor returns to Sydney and tries to get his guests to help him clean up the place. Loki and all of his guests bounce rather than help him clean up the planet. Frigga beams down to Earth. Thor uses Mjolnir to draw everyone’s attention, tells them Frigga is coming and she is pissed, so that gets everyone to help him clean the whole planet. He goes a little too far and rights the leaning Tower of Pisa. Frigga lands as Thor leads a fake class for his party guests. Frigga is clearly not buying it, but then Captain Marvel flies in and gives him a Tablet with educational information on it. Frigga still obviously doesn’t buy it, but thanks Carol for helping to educate her son. It looks like she’s going to let him get away with it, right up until he calls Mjolnir and sees it’s covered in party garbage. Whoops.

 

Shoot a duck.

Later, Thor goes to talk with Jane, saying that calling his mom was uncool but the right thing to do. He asks her out. Uatu starts to narrate that they lived “happily ever after…” just as a portal opens up and a small army of Ultron Drones march out, followed by their leader, Ultron, in Vision’s body, with all the Infinity Stones. Shoot a duck.

 

I’m not going to lie, I went into this episode expecting to hate it, but that was a blast. It very much is a party movie set in the MCU and I mean that inn the best way. Seeing Thor and his people basically trash the planet in their giant party was great. I liked seeing all the cosmic character showing up to party was fun. Sif, the Warriors 3, the Guardians of the Galaxy, Nebula, Grandmaster, Howard the Duck, Loki, and the Jotun’s were all hilarious even if their bits were only a few seconds. Captain Marvel flying to be the buzzkill was also fun. Power of a sun, intergalactic peacekeeper, and she comes in to break up a wild party, that is comedy gold. It is a pretty fluff plot, which is what makes the reality ending twist of Ultron with the Infinity Stones walking in is so good. Yeah, it’s a crazy funny episode, and then ULTRON! Damn, the last two episodes are going to be crazy. 

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Viewer Log: What if...? ep 6

 Killmonger begins his plot. 

Last time on What if…?, Zombies! During what would have been the events of the Infinity War, earth is overrun by zombies that were created when an infected Janet van Dyne was brought out of the quantum realm. The team consisting of Spider-Man, Happy Hogan, General Okoye, Sharon Carter, Kurt, Bruce Banner, Winter Soldier and Wasp are trying to survive and get to a base that might have a cure. Happy, Sharon, and Wasp are all killed in the crossing. The base they arrive is being run by Vision, who it turns out is trying to make a cure via the Mind Stone. He was able to cure Ant Man, but Scott Lang is just a head in a jar now. This was all to try to cure Wanda, who he’s kept in a cage and feed bits of an imprisoned Black Panther to keep going. Wanda breaks free. Vision kills himself in penance and gives them the Mind Stone. Winter Soldier, Kurt and General Okoye are killed in the fighting. Banner stays behind and is finally able to Hulk out and get them a chance to escape. Spider-Man, Scott’s head, and T’Challa fly to Wakanda to use the stone to cure the world. The closing minute of the episode reveals that a Zombie Thanos is on earth and coming for them with 5 of the Six Infinity Stones. Oh no. Enough recap, let’s get to it.

 

Episode 6: What if Killmonger Rescued Tony Stark

 

A match made in hell.

We open with Uatu, who we see quite clearly for once, stating that every journey has a beginning, but change one step along the way and you could end up at a very different destination. We’re shown Tony Stark riding in the convoy in Afghanistan as it is being attacked by the Ten Rings. He gets and tries to text for help when the bomb that’s supposed to go off and hit him with shrapnel lands. He’s saved from this fate by Eric “Killmonger” Stevens, who picks up the bomb and throws it away. Damn. Killmonger helps him up and out of the war zone. Uatu appears again and says heroes “are not born but forged in darkness. Shaped in Battle. Defined by Sacrifice.” Shown over him becoming Iron Man, standing with the Avengers, and ultimately sacrificing himself to defeat Thanos. Without his time as a prisoner of war, Tony never started on that path to be a hero. The man was saved but a hero lost, as he puts it. This Tony lost the insight he would have gained and instead focused on making bigger weapons instead of better. He hires Killmonger as Stark Industries new chief of security and snubbing Happy. That one reporter that Tony slept with asks about how Killmonger could have made it in time to save Tony, as his unit was stationed several miles away. Killmonger reveals he was working deep undercover with the Ten Rings when he discovered the plan to assassinate Tony and reveals that Stane paid for it. Stane is arrested, after being punched out by Happy, and Killmonger is further ingratiated with Tony.

 

The fact Killmonger being a fan of anime, when
his VO Michael B. Jordan has been in an anime, is great.

At the after party, Tony gives Killmonger the COO job, thinking that having a killer as his number two is just what he needs. I miss smarter Tony. Pepper has a meeting with Rhodey and asks about their “knight in shining camouflage.” Again, it’s weird to see the current actor, Don Cheadle, in place of the actor that was in the role in this story, Terrance Howard. Rhodey has the info on Stevens, graduated Annapolis at 19 and MIT 20, and a Navy Seal. He’s a wetworks man and is good at it. Rhodey is curious what Pepper is looking for. She reveals that vetting people to figure out what they want from Tony is her job, and that she’s concerned that she’s finding nothing about what Stevens wants, since everyone wants something.

 

That night, Tony shows Killmonger his workshop. They bond over having dead fathers, and over a desire to make the world safer. Killmonger reveals that he had been working on project for robotic soldiers, to make human ones obsolete, when he was at MIT but couldn’t get the interface right. Tony, still high on life and wanting to help Killmonger, agrees to help him finish Project Liberator. … Oh, I do not like where this is going. He’s impressed by the giant anime mech and t hey start getting to work.

 

They start putting together the drones, and Tony reveals that he’s going to upload JARVIS into the machines to work as their AI to remove pilot error and lag. First Liberator falls over, and it’s head flies off. They need to build a more powerful energy source for it, Tony briefly contemplates shrinking an arc reactor but discards the idea as impossible. Killmonger suggests using Vibranium, which Tony thinks is a good idea but impossible because his dad used the last of it to make Cap’s shield. Killmonger then reveals he has a ring off the stuff. He examines the ring and asks where Killmonger got it. He shrugs and says anyone can find it with the right hook up. Tony decides to hire Ulysses Klaue to get the Vibranium. Pepper is against it, and Killmonger also advices caution, as if they go without a diplomatic cover the shareholders of Stark Industries will flip out if they’re caught dealing with a Black-Market Arms dealer. Tony thinks to send Rhodey as their go between guy and Killmonger agrees.

 

Rhodey meets with Klaue at his derelict ship base, Killmonger in his ear giving him info. Klaue show him the merchandise, a Dora Milaje spear made from Vibranium, he wants 10 million for it. Rhodey tells him he’s willing to pay a whole lot more, so Klaue shows him the vault with the good stuff, just metric tons of Vibranium. But the sale is cut short when someone breaks into the ship. Black Panther burst in, quickly disabling, or killing all the guard except Rhodey. T’Challa tells him Rhodey that he's not here to fight the colonel, just to get the Vibranium back to where it belongs. Killmonger tells him that’s not happening and disables them with a sonic burst for the sonic taser. He steals T’Challa’s clawed glove and slices the vault open. Rhodey gets up and asks why he’s doing this. Killmonger gives his speech about fighting the oppressors, Rhodey says you must work in the system to change it, and Killmonger counters by saying he’s going to burn it all down. He then kills Rhodey with the claw. He then plants the sonic taser in Rhodey’s hand. Turns out that he’d called Claue earlier and he sent the word up to the Wakandan War Dogs to lure T’Challa there. Killmonger tells him to load up the product.

I've seen worse break ups.

 

As both sides mourn their dead. Killmonger goes to Tony to try to get him back to work on the Liberators, using Rhodey’s death as a motivator, but Tony reveals he’s not buying what Killmonger is selling anymore. He reveals that he’d had a bug with JARVIS in it monitoring the deal and that he saw what happened. Killmonger tell him the cops won’t arrive to stop him. Tony locks them in, saying he wants Justice. He locks them in and reveals that he melted down Killmongers ring and used the Vibranium to get the first drone working. It throws Killmonger around, being able to anticipate his moves since he programed it. Killmonger gets a hold of the spear, destroying the drone and then running Tony through with the spear. Tony had thought it was them against the world, as they were both two gear heads trying to do right by their dads. Killmonger tells him that the difference between them is that Tony can’t see the difference between them and kills him.

 

Killmonger frames Wakanda for the murder. He wiped Jarvis to keep them from seeing what happened. General Ross rushes the Liberator drones into production, giving Killmonger an army of robotic minions. He lands and meets with Klaue, the two “going on a road trip.” They reach the Wakandan barrier. Killmonger kills and brings him in as an offering to the Wakandans and reveals himself to be N’Jobu’s son. He plays his Uncle T’Chaka and tells them that the drones are on the way. He advises to let the drones in through the barrier, using it to short out the Jarvis matrix controlling them. The Wakandan army, lead by Queen Ramoda personally, go to meet the robots.

 

The grief of a mother is intense.

The Drones arrive and T’Chaka has them open the shields. The Robots cross and they reengage the shields. The drones power down. They all begin to relax, but then Killmonger reactivates the drones with a backup relay. The fight begins, with the Wakandan military fighting valiantly but being overwhelmed by robots. Killmonger leads a charge on the war rhinos shoouting Wakanda Forever. They eliminate the drones and celebrate their victory.

 

Later, Killmonger watches the sunrise on the mountain with his uncle. He offers his service to his uncle and is named Black Panther. He takes the heart-shaped herb and goes son the spiritual walkabout. He sees T’Challa at the panther tree. T’Challa chastises his cousin, telling him that power unearned is volatile and will see him punished, on his plane or theirs.

Killmonger's days are numbered.

 

Later, General Ross is prepping to wage war with Wakanda. In her offices, Pepper meets with T’Challa’s sister Shuri. Shuri was the biggest critic of her cousin and has found evidence that Killmonger set the whole thing up. They decide to work together and make everyone see. Uatu ends by saying heroes are never gone, they live forever as do the ones they inspire to carry on the fight.

 

I liked this episode a lot. It was a bit like Spider-Man: Far From Home, in that while I knew Killmonger was evil it was fun waiting to see how the double cross would play out. His plan was incredibly elegant. Use Tony Stark to build a force capable of threatening Wakanda, force a fight between Wakanda and the US, kill T’Challa to leave an opening in Wakanda’s command structure, help Wakanda fight them off, and become the Black Panther. It was very similar to his plan in the Black Panther, but more effective since he had Stark Tech to back him up. It was weird seeing Tony be first act Tony for the whole story. It was interesting to see him as both more of a wild partier but also as a much more naïve man. Like, I doubt Iron Man 3 or even Iron Man 2 Tony would have fallen for Killmonger’s plan so easily, but he’s just a billionaire with a lot of money and baggage in this continuity so he’s easy to manipulate. I did love that he was at least smart enough to figure out the plan before the final act, even if he wasn’t able to stop it. I’m kind of hopeful they do a part 2 in season 2 and show Pepper and Shuri working to stop Killmonger. T’Challa trying to give his cousin some wisdom and turn from the path was a nice touch too. It’s fitting for the character as a peacemaker. Rests in peace, Chadwick. So yeah, that episode was a lot of fun and I hope to see more in that timeline. Next time, episode 7 and the “party Thor.” … Not sure how excited I am for this… 

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Twitter: @BasicsSuperhero

Viewer Log: What if...? ep 5

ZOMBIES!

Last time on What if…?, we explored what would happen if instead of losing his hands, Dr. Strange lost Christine, his metaphorical heart. After stopping Dormammu, Strange uses the Eye of Agamotto to go back in time to try to save her. She repeatedly dies despite his efforts. The Ancient One arrives and explains that her death is an Absolute Point in Time, because she needs to die for Stephen to get started on his journey. Fridging conversations aside, Stephen travels back in time to the lost library of Cagliostro and research how to save her. He learns that to break an absolute point, he needs an absurd amount of power and spends hundreds of years summoning mystic creatures for their power. He's visibly corrupted by the process and learns that the Ancient One split him into two in their last confrontation. He goes to fight his other self, and ultimately absorbs his better self in the struggle. He saves Christine but destroys his whole universe in the process. The episode ends with him in a little of reality, sobbing and begging for forgiveness. Dark. Enough recap, let’s get to it, shall we?

 

Ep 5: What if… Zombies?!

Well, crap.

 

After the Uatu intro, we’re shown the Hulk being Bifrosted back to Earth at the start of Avenger’s Infinity War. But, upon landing in the Sanctum Santorum, and reverting to Banner, he finds it empty. He takes an acolyte’s Gi and goes outside to see the streets of NYC empty. The Black Order members Cull Obsidian and Ebony Maw arrive moments later. Banner tries to Hulk out but the Jade Giant doesn’t want to play. He’s seemingly saved when a sling-ring portal opens and Iron Man repulsor blasts Maw from behind. But the Iron Man, Dr. Strange and Wong that join him attack the two Black Order members like Rabid dogs, killing them and eating their flesh. It’s only when the dust cloud that they kicked up settles that we learn that all three are Zombies. Cull Obsidian and Ebony Maw also get back up as Zombies. Banner looks screwed, but Dr. Strange’s Cloak of Levitation flies in and saves him from their initial charge. Maw grabs him telepathically, but Banner is ultimately saved by a swarm of insects that eat the zombies down to the bone. They’re being directed by Wasp, who tells Banner to go with her giant ants. Banner, a bit freaked out, doesn’t go at first, but then Spider-Man swings in and grabs him.

 

When you see something like this, back away. 
Do NOT engage!

Uatu explains that two weeks prior, Dr. Pym went into the Quantum Realm to save his wife Jan van Dyne who’d been trapped in that dimension for three decades. Unfortunately, in this timeline, she contracted a “Quantum virus” that corrupted her brain, aka Zombie virus. She attacks and transforms Hank. When they get out of the Quantum Realm, they miss Hope but attack Scott. The plague infects the entire Pacific Northwest in a day, and they get the Avengers in that time, Cap being bitten by a mini-Scott before the others are taken out as well. Uatu says that the world was doomed at that point, unless one knew “the rules.

 

We cut over to an amateur video Peter made on how to survive the zombie apocalypse. With the obviously begrudging help of Harold Happy Hogan and more enthusiastic help from Scott’s friend Kurt. Step 1: Long sleeves, less exposed skin, less chance of being bitten. Step 2: Hygiene, clean your body to reduce your pheromones. They suggest body spray over shower as you’re less likely to be attacked naked. Step 3, go for the head. General Okoye joins Peter and Banner, telling him to turn that silly thing off. We’re shown that the survivors have set up shop in several buses that have been suspended in the air over Manhattan by a TON of Spider-Man’s silk. Okoye tells Banner that they might have some hope, as they got a signal from another camp that they might have made progress with a cure. It’s at Camp Lehigh, the New Jersey Camp that was SHIELD’s first base. They think it MIGHT have the facility to cook up a cure, so they head out to investigate.

 

Good team, not a great team.

The group, consisting of Spider-Man, Banner, Okoye, Sharon Carter, Happy Hogan, Winter Soldier, Wasp and Kurt head out. They make it to Grand Central station in a Pym Particle mini-Van. When they’re full sized, Okoye orders Hope, Banner and Parker to get the train running. Kurt comes too, to help, while the others guard the area. They can’t get the engine started, and to make matters worse, there’s clearly zombie Falcon circling above the station. They try to use Peter’s webs to sling shot the train forward to give them a boost. At the same time, Happy is stabbed through the chest by an arrow and pulled into the shadows. He’s zombifies, and he and Hawkeye go to zombify Sharon. Winter Soldier and Okoye fight Falcon. Sharon kills Happy, using his personal repulsor and the Zombie’s slow wit to blow his head off, as the zombie horde joins Hawkeye. Okoye saves Winter Soldier from death, splitting Falcon in half. Sharon grabs Happy’s repulsor and she and the other two make for the train.

 

Peter meanwhile has gotten his slingshot back far enough to get them moving, he thinks, just as the zombies reach them. The Cloak does its bests to protect him and Wasp flies out to blast a bunch of zombies too. They get on the train, the Cloak of Levitation grabbing Peter and pulling him onto the train as it launches. Sharon, in the back most car is attacked by a Zombie Cap. Winter Soldier faces off against his friend, and a zombie Carter. He ends up slicing Cap in half with his Shield before claiming it, and Hope ends up growing in Sharon’s zombie mouth, killing her. Damn, that’s hard core. Unfortunately, Hope’s suit was damaged in her regrowth. She’s infected, but it seems like if you’re not killed in the initial act the rate of infection is much slower. Peter gives everyone a speech about hope, name dropping Uncle Ben for the first time as he does so, saying that they need to keep smiling for the people they lost. The train, unfortunately, has run out of fuel and they’ve gotten stuck in the middle of a zombie horde. Damn.

 

Hope, knowing her time is about up, Hope supersizes herself up and carries them the few miles to the camp. She’s attacked the whole way, but she gets them to the camp. She tells Peter to keep smiling as she’s pulled back and down into the horde. At the camp, they meet Vision. He’s been able to keep the zombies away with his mind stone. Using super targeted blasts of the mind stone, he has been able to reverse the process with Scott Lang… unfortunately he’s now just a head in a jar. They think they can broadcast the signal and cure everyone… they just need to get to Wakanda. It’s the only place with a powerful enough satellite dish to do so. Thankfully, it’s still shielded, so it should be safe if they can get to Africa. Bucky goes on his own to search the perimeter. Vision cryptically warning that he won’t find what he is looking for.

 

This is much worse than zombie Stark.

What Bucky finds is zombie Wanda Maximoff in a containment cell and 95% of T’Challa, who is still alive. Bucky brings T’Challa back and we get the kind of twisted reveal. Vision, wanting to save his beloved, is keeping Wanda contained as he tries to work out a cure. He was able to cure Scott, but Wanda’s power resists treatment. With little more he could do, he kidnapped T’Challa in San Francisco and has been using him to feel Wanda while he tries to figure out how to bring her back. He’s lured others there to help in his research. Wanda escapes her cell and kills Kurt. With few options, the crew tries to escape. Okoye is captured at the last minute and killed. Vision uses the mind stone to destroy his lab and bury her, tell them to use the Quinjet in the hanger while they can. Wanting to atone in some small way for what he’d done, and being unable to leave Wanda, Vision rips the Mind Stone from his head, killing himself. Wanda rises from the ashes of the lab and crouches over the Vison’s destroyed form. Bucky stays back to try to hold her off, but get’s thrown aside when she gets annoyed. Banner is the last one to get to the hanger and is almost bitten by a zombie but partially transforms into the Hulk, saving himself. Banner gives Peter the Mind Stone and tells him to Avenge them. He runs out, wanting to buy them time to take off. He runs into the swarm, yelling at himself to hulk out. He’s completely swarmed before he transforms. He throws off the zombies and wrestles with Wanda buying them time to take off. Zombie Hope gets up and tries to stop them, but they’re able to escape her grasp.

 

Oh, geeze, much much worse.

T'Challa gives Peter a pep talk about not losing hope, and they fly into Wakanda. Uatu ends the episode by saying that humans will give there all to save their planet, even if it might bring an end to the universe. The final shot being a zombie Thanos with a nearly complete Infinity Gauntlet. Damn.

 

This was an… okay episode. I can’t really point to exactly why, but it just didn’t gel with me. Could be the global pandemic just made the whole concept of a zombie virus apocalypse a less fun concept to deal with, could be the fact that the Marvel Zombie’s comic run was more interesting, could be that 30 minutes was too short a run time to really do this idea justice. Who knows? I feel like this was edited down from a longer episode. There was maybe a minute between the Vision’s cryptic warning to Bucky to the reveal that he’d been going to some dark places to try to get Wanda back, which is not how you pace a scene like that. I liked that Peter was the one trying to keep people’s spirits up, as that’s something he tries to do, even if in most continuities he relies more on his bad jokes than hope speeches. I think part of what made this feel… odd was the zombie heroes themselves. In Marvel Zombies, a mini-series that ran from Dec. 05-April 06, the virus that transformed nearly all of earth’s heroes into zombies didn’t turn them into mindless “ugghh” zombies, no it did the much scarier thing of leaving the heroes with their intelligence and personalities but with an insatiable craving for human flesh. A good chunk of Spider-Man’s dialogue is devoted to him sobbing about having eaten Aunt May and MJ. The horror and fear come from seeing your heroes still be your heroes but not being able to stop themselves from killing. In this, they are dumb zombies, but with the heroes somehow having enough of their minds left to be able to do their individual skills. Something about this just doesn’t jive. Or maybe that Episode four was so good that it brings this episode down further in my esteem for only being okay. I’m not sure. Regardless, I think it was okay. We’re doing episode 6 tomorrow. 

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