Captain America, Agent of HYDRA: My Two Cents

Short little post before X-Men: Apocalypse. Marvel has just ‘revealed’ in their latest issue of Captain America that Steven Rogers has been a HYDRA Agent since before being inoculated with the Super Soldier Serum. I thought about getting up on my soapbox, decrying this change as being offensive, disgusting, and just plain wrong. But, there are plenty of other folks doing that right now. Got to love the Internet. Instead, I’d like to be a voice of reason.

Marvel is a business. Their goal is to make money. This is neither good or bad, it’s just a fact of life. And, while I do not like the means, this choice in changing the quintessential good guy into an amoral villain will get them sales. It was exactly like back in 2013 when they “Replaced” Peter Parker as Spider-Man, by putting Doc Oct’s mind in Peter’s body. Heck, it was this announcement that got me buy comic books again, as I wanted to see where the story went. I was in college at the time, and an English Major, reading anything for fun was kind of impossible a good chunk of the time. Just an FYI. I remember when this was going on, all of the writing staff was saying that this was a “permanent change.” That Octavius’s bodysnatching of Peter Parker was going to be their Spider-Man moving forward. Know what happened? By July of 2014, they were laying the groundwork to bring Peter Parker back. Why? Because that is the character fans want to see. Removing him as the head hancho for a little bit recreated interest in the character, and once the ‘newness’ of the more violent pseudo-Spider-Man wore off, Marvel returned to the status quo.

Captain America's 'relationship' with HYDRA.
For me, this is an unchanging truth.

Now, personally, taking Captain America and essentially making him a Nazis is a much bigger and worse change then trying to make Octavius a Hero. It makes fans question every moment when they empathized with Cap, or every time they cheered for him. This is the man that every hero rallies behind. The one that the Punisher could never risk injuring. The one that fought Nazi beside Wolverine and the Howling Commandos. Who believes in heroes, be they arguably incredibly dangerous like the Hulk, or offkilter and possibly mentally ill like Deadpool. The man that stops armies, simply by standing in front of them. The idea that he is a spy, and perhaps the greatest threat to the Marvel Universe is just… impossible to accept.

Sorry, got off on a tangent. This is supposed to be semi-hopeful. My point is, that despite the possible designs of the writing staff, and Marvel execs, the change didn’t stick. Peter Parker is back swinging webs and being a hero. This Captain America, Agent of HYDRA, thing will likely end the same. In about six months to a year, they will back pedal, reveal that Steve is either a triple agent, or being mind-controlled, or been replaced by yet another Skrull. It’s the nature of the beast. They try different stories, shaking characters to their core, in the hopes of drumming up sales. Things that work, work well. And stuff that doesn’t, well, it gets retconned pretty quickly.

What I’m trying to say is, my fellow fans, it’s alright to be mad at this change. I sure as heck am. But, don’t forget that a change as insane as this one is a publicity stunt. Much like killing Brian off of Family Guy. Sure, we’ll have to deal with some weapons grade BS for a while, but eventually, Captain America will be on the right side again. I’m so confident in this, let’s set a timer. I predict that, one year from today, we will either have or have had an announcement that this particular story is going to be changed. It could be any reason, Cosmic Cube reality re-write, revealed triple agent status, Skrulls, clones, alternate Universe Captain America, and those are just the possible explanations off the top of my head. The story is always changing, in good ways and in bad, all we can do is wait and see where this particular story takes us. And that's all I have to say about that. Next time, for sure, X-Men: Apocalypse

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Villain Profile: Mr. Sinister

Did you get the sword Deadpool?

Yes sir-e, (schwing) one Muramasa. A magic katana that can negate a healing factor, and now it’s all mine. I’m so happy I could cry.

Was it hard to find?

You kidding me? Ol’ Wolvie has like six hiding places. It took me six hours with a shovel in the Canadian Wilderness to find all the pieces. Forge fixed and now we’re ready to go.

Perfect. Be ready, this next guy is a twisted SOB. No letting your guard down this time.

Aye-Aye, Captain. <snick> Oh I cut my finger. Huh, so this is what normal people have to deal with.

Alright, you can come in.

Was getting that weapon really necessary?

Yes, now sit down and keep your hands where I can see them, Essex.

Fine.

Ladies, Gentlemen, and everyone else, hello. Today’s special guest, if you haven’t read the title, is Nathaniel Essex, aka Mr. Sinister. Deadpool is here assisting me, as Sinister is perhaps the smarmiest, slipperiest character I’ve had on here.

It takes a confident man to wear that much eyeliner.

Must focus. No quips. Keep sword to his neck.

Pleasure.

It’s all yours, boyo. Let’s get started. Give ‘em your background, Essex.

So very rude, but alright. I was born Nathaniel Essex, during the reign of Queen Victoria. A biologist by trade, I was inspired by the works of one of my contemporaries, Charles Darwin, to study the theory of evolution. While Charles had many sound ideas, his theories were a little too small minded for my tastes. Through tireless research I discovered the Essex Factor in the human Genome. It is a genetic trait that causes increased, and at times unstable, mutations in humans. I was the first to realize that a new race of humans quickly coming into existence. I theorized that the first individuals would begin to emerge in about a hundred years or so, sooner if the right racially superior individuals were to reproduce.

Your work was read by your universe’s Hitler, wasn’t it?

Possibly. I never had the chance to ask.

Somehow, despite being an extreme workaholic, Essex also found the time to marry and have children. His first born, Adam, died at the age of four. The young Essex suffered from several birth defects, including crooked bones and hemophilia. The boy’s death pushed Nathaniel deeper into his work, creating an obsession in the brilliant mind. His theories, about the new Mutant race and extreme evolution, were mocked by his colleges at large, and caused him to be removed from the Royal Society of London. He grew bitter from these rejections, and Darwin’s own suggestion that Essex seek professional help. Were Shrinks a thing yet in your era?

Not as you know them. It wouldn’t have mattered, anyway. I needed to know, to learn, to understand not grieve. Grieving is for lesser minds then mine. I decided to begin a more…active study on mutation. I hired a local group of street thugs, the Marauders, to gather the undesirables of London for me. The freaks, the physically deformed, the mentally ill. The citizens that few would notice when they disappear. I experimented on these poor undesirables, and through them, gained a greater understanding of mutation and the Essex Factor. Those that survived the process were better for it. By in large. My work was so groundbreaking, so revolutionary, that it awakened something ancient. Something powerful.

Apocalypse.

Apocalypse.

At the same time, Cyclops and the Phoenix were teleported to his era. They did their best to try and turn Essex from the dark path he was on, but the good doctor was too far gone. Hard to stop a man from a life of evil after he’d dug up his own son’s corpse to experiment on, and then his wife found out about it. He allied himself with Apocalypse, and very nearly had two of the most powerful Mutant’s ever born as his test subjects, but Jean was able to temporarily get through to Essex, revealing that his work would destroy the world itself. He swore off his life of unorthodox and cruel science and wanted to dedicate his life to his wife and second child. That is until he got home. Rebecca Essex, in Nathaniel’s absence, had freed the various prisoners he had in the basement, gone into premature labor, and was very nearly dead from stress. He begged for forgiveness but she didn’t have it in her.

Pretty much an average party at Essex's.

“To me, you are…utterly, and contemptibly… sinister.” Two hundred years later, and it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. After that, I swore allegiance to Apocalypse.  He took me aboard his ship, and using his advanced technology, awakened dormant Essex’s Genes in my Genome. Transforming me into Mr. Sinister.

The first project that the newly christened Sinister finished for the ancient Mutant was a deadly virus that, had it worked like En Sabah Nur wanted, would have devastated the human population, leaving only those capable of siring Mutants left alive. But, Sinister decided to rework the virus to only effect Apocalypse. The disease forced Apocalypse back into hibernation, and while was infuriated by being betrayed, liked Sinister’s gumption and let him off with a warning, this time.

What can I say? I’m a man of science, not genocide.

Right… Mr. Sinister spent the next century or so cowering in fear and preparing for his master’s return.

I performed the latter, not the former. I kept busy, performing various experiments and pushing mutation to its limits. Different X-Men have crossed my path across the ages, usually during some sort of time-travel stunt. It’s how I met that insufferable Cajun, Gambit. I also began researching the Summers’ family. After meeting Cyclops all those years ago, and seeing his power and his personal grudge against me, my interest was piqued.

Piqued your interest? Seriously.

What? I was curious.

No, the Joker is curious about Batman. Red Skull is interested in Captain America. Thanos is smitten with the personification of Death. You’re the poster boy for obsession. You stalked someone across time. And, when you finally found a young, injured, frightened, and recently orphaned Scott and Alex Summers, you did everything in your power to make their lives horrible.

I wouldn’t go that far.

You actively worked to keep Scott from being adopted. You kept him isolated from his brother. You experimented on him. And, you used your shapeshifting powers to create to assume the role of Scott’s roommate in your bleak orphanage. And also bullied him. That. Is. Messed. Up. Dude.

I made him his ruby-quartz lenses so he could see. That was something.

One good, about fifty-seven bad. Yeah, you’re still an obsessed jerk.

That’s a little hurtful, but not wholly inaccurate.

Essex has continued to serve as Apocalypse’s second-in-command, whenever the big grey-blue lug is awaked. Sinister’s methods are pretty messed up and perverse, but he’s effective. If nothing else.

Was that a compliment?

Not even close, sicko. Now, talk about your powers.

So very rude. Initially, I was merely a gifted intellectual. Brilliant, but misunderstood in my time. I helped develop biology as a science. Since I bid my humanity goodbye, I’m mastered biochemisty, genetics, cloning, and engineering. I’m a jack of all trades, and master of many of those said trades. After meeting Apocalypse, he used his advanced technology to grant me a healing factor. It also turned my skin chalk white, and my eyes bright red. Take the good with the bad. As time has marched on, I’ve incorporated other powers. Including shapeshifting, optic blasts, teleportation, telekinesis, and teleportation.

 Mr. Sinister has been used sparingly outside the comics. Not sure why, he’s an intimidating bad guy.

Does he realize he's dressed like a vampire?

I, like many, was introduced to Mr. Sinister in X-Men: The Animated Series. He was a major recurring antagonist. He uses a group known as the Nasty Boys as his primary henchmen. He’s dismissive of Xavier’s dream of human/Mutant cooperation, and even Magneto’s belief in a war. His only interest is in making Mutants more… Mutantie. He’s obsessed with Scott Summers and Jean Grey, and orchestrates several plans to kidnap them and use their DNA to make the perfect Mutant. Probably his more effective plot involved capturing Xavier and Magneto to lure the X-Men to the primordial Savage Land. Why? Because he was able to setup a device that suppresses Mutant Powers, if they don’t have the right bling. He’s thwarted. How? Wolverine. Enough said. We learn in “Descent” that in this universe he was able to give himself Mutant powers on his own, and was involved with the ancestors of Jean Grey, Scott Summers, and Charles Xavier. Kind of a sad story, not going to lie.

He was a background baddie in Wolverine and the X-Men. Basically the same character as in X-Men: TAS, creepy scientist obsessed with making super-mutants. Cyclops actively hunts him down in a vain attempt to learn what happened to Jean months prior. Cyc’s rational being that the Scott-and-Jean obsessed Sinister would know where, or have, Jean disappeared to. Sinister had no idea, but relished the chance to get his hand on Scott’s DNA. He also transforms Angle into Archangle after his wings are clipped after an accident. Angle recovers his wings, but is reduced to a snarling monster that is only capable of following Sinister’s commands. Sick monster.

I promised him flight, not his sanity.

Boo-yah, (swing).

GHA! You cut off my hand!

Yeah, I have a problem with people that make light of human experimentation, knave. Make another joke, and I’ll cut off the other one.

Are you really going to stand for this? Your assistant assaulting guests?

Stand for it? It’s how I’m paying him.

I was promised one limb removal. If I do really well, he said I could have your nose.

Back on task. While he didn’t appear in X-Men: First Class, it seemed pretty clear elements of him were mixed into the film’s major antagonist, Sebastian Shaw, portrayed by Kevin Bacon. I’m not an expert on Shaw, but in my experience, he’s been a wealthy Brit and Black King (Leader) of the Hellfire Club. Not a former Nazi scientist that delighted in experimenting/torturing children and “unlocking” a mutant power sometime after that. But who knows, I could be way off.

So… Mr. Sinister is a twisted SOB. While he’s probably one of the smartest men of his, and several other, eras, Sinister has used his immense knowledge mostly to perform inhumane experiments on others. Which isn’t all that surprising, given that he’s Apocalypse’s #2. It takes a profoundly disturbed mind to be the Starscream to Apocalypse’s Megatron. Oh, and his obsession with Cyclops is pretty damn disturbing. I mentioned the whole, keeping him in an orphanage, personally bullying him in the guise of another orphan, and the experimentation. But, he also made a clone of Jean Grey after she was believed dead, and did everything in his power to make Scott fall in love with her, so they’d procreate. Who DOES that?

It was for the betterment of the Mutant Race.

Deadpool, you can take your bonus, now.

SWEET! <Schwing>.

Gah! Ou son ob a itch.

Get him out of here.

Can do!

Well, that was interesting. Hope there won’t be any unforeseen repercussions for actively torturing a supervillain. Nah. Next time, X-Men: Apocalypse Review. Hope it does En Sabah Nur justice.

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Villain/Hero Profile: Bizarro Superman

Just about every hero of note has at least one “mirror” villain. A baddie with powers or abilities virtually identical to the heroes. Spider-Man has Venom. Iron Man has the Crimson Dynamo. The Flash has the Reverse-Flash. And so on. But, I doubt any of these mirror baddies are quite as visually distinct as Superman’s mirror villain, Bizarro. He’s kind of the definition of a broken mirror, all the Superman power, but none of the Superman looks. Sucks for him. Like sooooooo many other DC characters, he’s had a number of different origins, I’ll be focusing on the version created after the Crisis on Infinite Earth’s storyline.

Yeah, not a great likeness.

Lex Luthor is obsessed with Superman. This was an undisputed fact even before he had gotten his hands on some of the Big Blue Boy Scout’s DNA. Being a man of near infinite resources and few morals, Lex ordered a team of scientists to clone Superman. The plan was to make a perfect copy of Superman, but one that would obey Lex’s every command. Unfortunately for Luthor, and one could make the argument that it was unfortunate for the clone, Lex made a major miscalculation during said cloning process. At the time, Superman’s origin of being the Last Son of Krypton wasn’t widely known. Got to love Universe Wide reboots. So, because Lex and his team assumed that Superman was simply a “Metahuman,” they made some major errors coding the DNA. I’ve never heard the specifics, but a rather persistant problem in the cloning Superman department is that Kryptonian DNA is significantly more complex than the adenine (A), cytosine (C), guanine (G), and thymine (T) that makes up your average human. I actually just watched a Film Theory on Youtube that pointed out some of the problems that can occur if the amount of specific elements in the human body are off even by a small margin. Here’s the link, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3EIDSIvmZs. For those who don’t want to watch, things can get a little wonky if people don’t have enough phosphorous or calcium in their makeup. Now imagine what happens to a superpowered alien when he doesn’t have the proper amount of… some unknown element from Krypton. Wait, you don’t have to imagine it, because it’s Bizarro. Lex’s first clone was visibly flawed, having too pale skin, obvious physical deformities, and the mental capacity of a five-year-old. Lex immediately ordered the clone to be destroyed. Which really didn’t work out so well. Imperfect Superman Clone > most things. Bizarro escaped the lab, and was pretty confused about what to do next. This first Bizarro was mute, and only had a few vague memories of what it meant to be Clark Kent/Superman. I guess Kryptonians have Genetic Memory… That’s an odd superpower even for that species.

He tries to “help” people, but kind of kept messing up. Like carrying a broken down bus to a hospital and lobbing it through the front door. His “heroic actions” kept getting more and more dangerous, until he finally kidnapped Lois. How shocking. Superman finally has to destroy his unstable clone, colliding with him in Midair. Good riddance to bad rubbish, some of you may be thinking. But, it might be a little more complicated than that. For you see, when Bizarro exerted himself, his imperfect form crumbled slightly. During one altercation, Lois Lane’s sister Lucy was exposed to the dust. Which, somehow, helped her partially recover from acid-in-eyes induced blindness. When he was completely destroyed, a large amount of dust hit Lucy, completely restoring her. Superman, and everyone else, came to believe that this Bizarro may have deliberately allowed himself to be destroyed to help her.

Not sure why his costume changed too....

This is not the last Bizarro, as Lex continues to try and perfect his cloning process. While each Bizarro is slightly different, they all seem to possess the same child-like level of intelligence, and obvious physical deformities. He’s usually portrayed as a sort of Frankenstein’s monster, a tragic creature that does evil deeds either because he was A.) Tricked by more intelligent villains, or B.) Simply because he didn’t know any better. Poor Bizarro.

Bizarro’s powers vary from incarnation to incarnation. Sometimes, he has all the same powers as Superman and just has an ugly, ugly face. Other times, he has similar powers but different effects. Like having Freezing Vision instead of Heat Vision, or Breathing Fire instead of having Arctic Breath, or the really bizarre Bizarro Telescopic vision, which lets him see a short distance behind him rather than a long distance in front of him. Kryptonite also affects him differently, green Kryptonite strengthens him, while imperfect blue Kryptonite weakens him. Some versions are also weakened by sunlight rather than strengthened by it. That one’s not too surprising, if I were Bizarro, I’d be a night person too.

Bizarro has appeared in a number of Superman related franchises, typically as the failed and sympathetic clone of Superman.

He was a recurring character in Superman: The Animated Series. Introduced as a Superman clone that started off fine but slowly degenerated in “Identity Crisis.” Heck, the first time the viewer notices something is up is when we see the apparent Superman save a car from falling off a cliff. The driver? Clark Kent. As the episode continues he gets more and more sickly and deformed until he resembles… well, himself. Throughout the episode he continues to argue “You no am Superman, Me am Superman” whenever he’s confronted by the original Superman. That is an impressive level of denial. He’s apparently killed when he destroys the lab Lex was using to clone Superman. He returns in “Bizarro’s World.” In it, he survived the explosion at Lex’s Lab and, after some time, discovers the Fortress of Solitude. He finds Superman’s greatest treasure, a holographic recording of Krypton’s history, and gets pretty darn confused. He tries to recreate the recording he saw in downtown Metropolis, right down to blowing up it up. Superman is able to stop Bizarro, and convinces him to fly off to a new world. Basically, Superman turned an entire uninhabited planet into a cardboard box fort for Bizarro. Now, he can be the hero all he wants, without hurting anyone. High Fives all around. He returns in Justice League: Unlimited, on the side of the bad guys. He’s tricked into do it. It’s not his fault.

He could use some sunblock.

A distinctly different version of Bizarro appears in Smallville’s season 6 and 7. In the beginning of Season Six, Clark Kent escapes the Phantom Zone after being imprisoned, but several Phantom Zone Prisoners escape as well. The Phantoms are the disembodied essence of intergalactic criminals. They can possess humans, and in doing so imbue them with the powers they had had in life. The most dangerous “Zoner” was a failed Kryptonian experiment. He had so much power that any being possessed by him would burn out and die within a few hours. Lex Luthor was after this particular phantom, as the blood taken from a possessed human was necessary for his Super-soldier experiments. Lex captures the Phantom’s most recent victim in “Phantom,” and tries to extract some DNA from it. Clark tracks the Phantom to Lex’s hidden base inside a dam, and is attacked by the phantom. While battling, the Phantom is able to get enough of Clark’s DNA to make himself a physical body. He looks exactly like Clark, but with the opposite color scheme. Oh, and is effected differently by stimuli. He gets stronger from Green Kryptonite, purifying the crystals, and weakens if hit with direct sunlight. His face gets distorted and rocky when hit with sunlight. They battle throughout the season 7 opener “Bizarro.” With some help from J’onn J’onzz the Martian Manhunter, they’re able to defeat the Phantom, and imprison him somewhere on Mars. He returns in “Gemini,” where he takes the place of Clark Kent, whom had been put in time out by his father, Jor-El, in the Fortress of Solitude. He and Clark’s on-again, off-again, oh-god-they’re-really-back-on-again-what-the-heck-is-wrong-with-these-two girlfriend Lana team up to try and take down Lex Luthor. They have mixed results. In “Persona,” he tries to track down Milton Fine aka Brainiac, in the hopes the Kryptonian Super Computer could help him find a way to counter act the sun’s effect on him. Clark is released by Jor-El, and he’s able to get a sample of Blue Kryptonite. Blue Kryptonite, in this universe, strips Kryptonian’s of their powers essentially making them human. It’s theorized that for Bizarro, it’ll make his powers increase exponentially, destroying him. Which it does. In case I wasn’t clear, this Bizarro is a complete sadist, interested only in destroying Clark and stealing his identity.

I can’t help but feel sorry for Bizarro. He’s an unwanted failed experiment that doesn’t have the mental capacity to understand why he should have an undying hatred for Lex Luthor. He’s like Frankenstein’s monster, but is decidedly more sympathetic. What? Bizarro never read Paradise Lost and then went on a killing spree to get vengeance against his creator. Major points in Bizarro’s favor. When you get right down to it, he really is just a big child. All the power of Superman, but a five-year-old’s ability to reason. That is pretty terrifying. It’s no wonder that he’s constantly being tricked into being a bad guy. Tell him he’s being Superman, saving the day, and he’ll literally do whatever you want. It’s really sad when you think about it. He's the failed clone, the Bizarre Bizarro. Next time, still working on that. Have a great time everybody.

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Super TV: Batman: Beyond

So, I finally decided what DC thing to do next. It took some thinking, but I decided to talk about one of my favorite franchises from when I was growing up, Batman: Beyond. I’m just going to talk about the original two-part series opener, and then my thoughts of the series overall. I may come back and do a V-Log of the show some time later, but I’m not certain. We’ll see. Let’s get to it.

God this was an awesome suit.

The series begins with a bunch of kidnappers watching the news while their hostage watches. We get a little exposition in the form of a news segment mentioning that a clearly older Bruce Wayne had avoided his company being bought out by business rival Derek Powers, and that the kidnappers are the kind of A-holes that take the ransom money, but don’t deliver the girl. There’s being a criminal, and then there’s just being rude. We then see Batman, now rocking a completely black suit with jet boots, retractable wings, and bat-a-rang launchers, kick the collective butts of the kidnappers. Batman would have won, if it weren’t for the double bit of bad luck of a lucky thug blindsiding him, and a minor heart attack. Batman takes a few hard hits, before in desperation grabbing a gun and pointing it at said thug. Thug runs off and gets arrested, and Bruce removes his mask, returns home and hangs up his suit in disgust. I think he should give himself more credit, in what has to be at least 30+ years as Batman, he only pulls a gun once. That’s a good track record.

We then jump forward twenty years. Gotham is now a technological sort of dystopia. They’ve got flying cars, high tech video screens, and rampant crime. Take the good with the bad I guess. Wayne Industries is now Wayne/Powers, and headed by so obviously evil that he might as well be wearing a name tag saying “Hi I’m the Villain,” Derek Powers. We then meet out series protagonist, Terry McGinnis. He’s the “good kid with a bad attitude” that fiction seems to love so much. He beats the snot out of a Joker, the clown prince of crime has an entire gang of worshipers, and utters his disgust with the group. Meanwhile, Terry’s father, Warren, is given a disc from a coworker, Mr. Tully, who is clearly ill. Tully is nabbed by some company security. Nothing sinister about that. Warren is then called in to his boss’s office, and Mr. Powers feeds him some BS about his coworker just suffering an allergic reaction. Not being an idiot, Warren keeps the disc to himself. At his home office, he discovers that his buddy Tully was working on something horrible for Powers. Moments later, Terry, being an angry teen, leaves the house in a huff after having an argument with dad. Classic “I hate you, wish I lived with [other parent].” I’m sure nothing is going to happen that’ll make Terry regret these actions.

Old but awesome. And his Great Dane is terrifying.

While on the town, Terry witnesses another Jokerz attack and tries to stop it. Realizing he’s outnumbered, Terry steals a bike from one of the Jokerz and hightails it out of town, Jokerz in pursuit. The chase leads them to the outskirts of Gotham, to historic Wayne Manor. The now seventy, possibly eighty, year old Bruce doesn’t take kindly to trespassers. And despite now walking with a cane, takes out at least a half dozen Jokers by himself. With Terry’s help, they drive them off. High Fives all around. The excitement is a little too much for Bruce’s bum ticker, and Terry helps him back to the house for his medicine. While leaving, Terry stumbles upon a bat in a clock, which leads him to the single greatest find in Gotham City history, The Batcave. Bruce is less than thrilled that a snot nosed punk had found his secret lair, and kicks him out. Terry returns home, and discovers his house covered in graffiti, and his father murdered. The cops assume it was a hit by the Jokerz, but Terry is less than convinced. His dad was a smart cookie, the kind of guy that wouldn’t open the door to weirdos in clown make-up, but doesn’t have proof. Yet. After the funeral, Terry discovers the disk his father had been looking at hidden behind a photo. He takes the disk to the one person he thinks can help, Bruce Wayne. Why doesn’t he go to the cops? Derek Powers is the Lex Luthor type of villain that has cozied up to the cops, making him largely bulletproof. Bruce isn’t interested in listening, until Terry says “You’re no Batman, you wacked out old fraud.” Bruce opens the gate and has a look at the disc.

They learn that the disc contained evidence that Powers had been using the resources of Wayne/Powers Industries to make an incredibly deadly nerve gas. Terry only half listens as he examines the Neo-Batsuit. Bruce tells Terry to bring the disc to Commissioner Barbara Gordon. Guess the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree. Terry tries to persuade Bruce to do the whole Batman thing to stop Powers, but Bruce doesn’t even pretend to entertain that thought. Powers and his #2, Mr. Fix, intercept Terry. He’s able to get away, but not before losing the disc. Not one to be deterred, Terry decides to go with plan B. We cut to Bruce watching a news report of a clearly evil looking diplomat being welcomed by Derek Powers. He’s interrupted by his dog, Ace, who refuses to stop barking. He lets Ace in, who then leads Bruce down into the Batcave. Bruce is rather annoyed to learn that Terry had indeed come back and stolen the Neo-Batsuit. Ace is damn near clairvoyant, I swear.

Do I even need to mention Powers is the bad guy?

Meanwhile, Terry flies across Gotham to Wayne/Powers. Using the high-tech spy tools of the Neo-Batsuit, Terry learns that the clearly evil diplomat is in the market for the gas. Powers mentions that Mr. Tully, who’d been purposely exposed, died within 36 hours. We aren’t shown the pictures he shows the diplomat, but from his reaction, it’s not pretty. Terry also learns that Fix was the one that murdered his dad, just before having to outrun some Wayne/Powers security teams. Powers is amused to hear that “Batman” has been spotted on the property. Bruce contacts Terry via a radio in the suit’s cowl, and berates him for stealing it. Terry ignores Bruce’s demand that he returns the Neo-Batsuit, which further annoys Bruce. Bruce activates the suit’s failsafe, which nearly gets Terry killed, but deactivates it at the last moment. Bruce demands again that Terry brings the suit back, but begrudgingly lets Terry continue when he learns Terry could potentially get the vengeance that Bruce never got.

Terry successfully stops the transport from being loaded, exposing Powers to the nerve gas in the process, and gets on the hovercraft with Fix. They have a bear knuckle brawl inside the hovercraft and have the most badass exchange that I’d heard up to that point in my life.

Fix, voiced by George Takei, “You’re pretty strong, for some clown who thinks he’s Batman.”

To which Terry responds, “I AM BATMAN,” before forcing Fix to crash the ship, obviously killing him.

Scene still gives me chills.

The next day, Bruce stops by the McGinnis household, and offers Terry a job. On the surface, he’ll be the new Alfred. Bruce describes the job as “A gopher. Go for this, go for that. An Ally of sorts.” They make it clear to everyone except Terry’s mom that Terry is going to be the new Batman. Once again, High Fives all around. 

We then learn that Powers was able to get the radiation treatment necessary to kill the virus, but the mutagenic effects of the virus have caused him to emit dangerous levels of radiation. He looks like an evil green Jack Skelington. Which, admittedly was scarier looking back when I was ten. Oh God, now I feel old.

Overall, this series really does hold up. It’s the story of transitions. Bruce Wayne transitioning from hero to mentor, and Terry McGinnis transitioning from troubled youth to hero. We see how Batman’s influence had impacted Gotham, both negatively and positively. Obviously, things are more or less back to what they were crime-wise before Batman after Bruce hung up the cowl, but I seriously doubt there’d be an entire gang of psychos in clown make-up if Batman and Joker hadn’t thrown down so many times across Gotham’s streets. The first season is largely devoted to Terry and Bruce battling Derek Powers, both in his black market dealing, and in the legitimate business sector. Heck, a couple of Terry’s long term foes were initially hired to kill Bruce. Terry’s involvement in Bruce’s life inspired the elder Wayne to try and wrestle leadership of Wayne Industries from Powers, which complicates the evil businessman’s life. Terry eventually earns the begrudging respect of Commissioner Barbara Gordon, who was initially hostile but quickly realizes that Batman is a necessary part of Gotham. And we also get to see what became of some of Batman’s old foes, such as Ra’s and Talia al Ghul, Mr. Freeze, and Bane. Spoiler, none of them got into building pediatric hospitals or selling ice cream. Ultimately, the show doesn’t have much of an ending, it got the ax after season three and didn’t get a proper send off. But, Terry and old Bruce are seen in a few crossover episodes of Justice League: Unlimited, and do get a TV movie, Batman: Return of the Joker, which answered two of the biggest lingering questions of the show, what happened to the Joker and to Batman’s extended adoptive family. I’m talking about Robin and to a lesser extent Nightwing. I’ve rewatched it a few times, and still enjoy it. I recommend this show to anyone who hasn’t seen it, it’s a damn good but at times depressing final chapter of Bruce Wayne’s career as Batman, and first chapter for a new generation of Batman. Next time, let’s do a Villain Profile. Haven’t done one of those in a while. I’ve got a good one, Bizarro Superman.

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Review: Captain America: Civil War

Words cannot describe how happy Captain America: Civil War makes me. What could have been a cluttered mess instead was an amazingly well done, but not great adaptation, of an intense Marvel story. They obviously couldn’t do an accurate adaptation, since a true Civil War adaptation requires the Fantastic Four and several X-Men, the two franchises that Marvel still doesn’t have access to. Side bar, Marvel, Fox Studios; sit down, talk and find a way to share the franchises. Marvel, you get more movies as Fox will shoulder some of the financial burdens. And Fox, have you seen the money these crossovers make? I guarantee that the returns would pale in comparison to the money that a Captain America/Wolverine movie would pull in. Side bar over, let’s get to the Civil War.

Bad ass from the moment he put on his cat costume.

Movie opens to a flashback to 1991. James Buchanan Barnes aka Bucky aka Winter Soldier being programmed to start a new mission. He’s sent out, takes out a car and steals a suitcase full of strange blue liquid. Flash-forward to the present day, and the current Avengers team (Captain America, Black Widow, Scarlet Witch, and Falcon) stopping a terrorist attack in Africa. Said Terrorist, Crossbones, and his crew are going to steal a biological weapon. A massive, well done chase and fight scene occurs, leading to a major fight between Cap and Crossbones. When Crossbones realizes the battle is lost, he bulls a bomb and tries to blow him and the Captain to Kingdom Come. Captain is saved by Scarlet Witch, who captures the explosion inside a magic bubble and levitating him upwards. The explosion destroys a nearby building.

At the Avengers Headquarters, US Secretary of State Thaddeus Ross reprimands the group for the destruction the Avengers wrought. In response to the latest incident, which included the deaths of several humanitarian workers from the reclusive nation of Wakanda, the UN has prepared the Sokovia Accords. Said Accords would basically create an oversite committee to determine when and how the Avengers would be deployed. Iron Man, War Machine, and Vision are for signing the Accords, believing legal oversight would be helpful. Captain America, and Falcon are against it, believing that an added level of bureaucracy would only make it harder for them to save people.

A surprisingly diverse cast. Of ten characters
two are women, three are black men, and
one is a robot.

There’s a momentary break in the action when Captain America learned that his former lover Margaret “Peggy” Carter had passed away. He attends her funeral, learns that the SHIELD spy that had lived across from him in Captain America 2 was her niece Sharon, and that most of his team signed the Accords in his absence. We then jump to Vienna, where Black Widow meets the Wakandan Royals, King T’Chaka and his son, T’Challa. During T’Chaka’s speech, the event is attacked by a bomb, killing Wakanda’s king and many others. Folks see a fella that looks like Bucky, and people start blaming the Winter Soldier. Learning that the UN is planning on taking out Barnes, Capt and Falcon go rogue and try to save Bucky. After another fairly intense fight and chase, which includes T’Challa in his new role as Black Panther, War Machine flies in and arrests Bucky, Captain America, and Falcon. I just want to take a second to point out that I think this might be a first in movie history, we get to see three major Black characters on screen at the same time. First time that I can think of it.

Meanwhile, Helmut Zemo tracks down Winter Soldier’s former handler and steals a red book that has the trigger words for Winter Soldier’s programming. We’re given a quick scene with the Vision and Scarlet Witch, it initially starts off cute (Vision trying to cook despite not having a sense of taste) but turns a little sinister (Vision can’t let Scarlet Witch leave by Stark’s orders). Weird, and creepy. Learning about Wanda’s house arrest is what keeps Cap from signing the Accords. Meanwhile, the restrained Bucky is interviewed by a shrink. Good, he needs help. Said shrink is Zemo. Not as good. He had a goon deliver an EMP device to a power station. Said power outage lets Zemo recite the programing words, and forces Bucky to tell him about his mission in 1991, and then cause a scene. Captain America captures Bucky and he and Sam learn Zemo’s apparent plan. Zemo is going to a hidden HYDRA lab where they kept additional frozen Winter Soldier experiments. Bucky could destroy a small nation by himself. Five of them, they could destroy the US or Canada.

Iron Man, still believing that Cap is in the wrong, assembles a new Avengers team to stop him. Knowing that Iron Man will try to stop them, Cap also assembles a new team. This leads to a massive brawl between Team Iron Man, consisting of Iron Man, War Machine, Black Widow, Black Panther, Vision and Spider-Man, vs Team Captain America, consisting of Cap, Scarlet Witch, Ant-Man, Falcon, Hawkeye, and Winter Soldier. And I can’t go into more detail than that, it’d ruin everything. Just know that, despite only appearing for this scene, Spider-Man and Ant-Man are perfectly utilized.

Sigh, nothing even approximating this costume in this one.

So… the good. The cast, perfect. Everyone is perfect for their parts, and gives 110%. Tom Holland and Paul Rudd, who only appear in one scene each to introduce them and then the major brawl at the airport, they don’t feel like cameos. Both of them are the funniest characters on their respective teams. It’s funny that after five major movies, it was the Captain America movie where he had maybe fifteen minutes of screentime that Spider-Man got the most accurate depiction. This Peter Parker was cracking wise throughout meeting Tony and later helping Team Iron-Man. I especially liked quips like “That Shield violates the laws of physics,” and the fact he was absolutely star struck upon meeting Captain America. Even though he’d just webbed Cap’s hands and stole his shield. Ant-Man was much the same way, star struck by the Captain and others. When he sees Black Widow he’s all, “I know you too, it’s great to meet you.” He also has a pretty good line when he shows off his new power. I won’t ruin it for those who don’t know all of Ant-Man’s tricks but the buildup line is great. “Oh I can do. I have done it. Once. In a lab. And I passed out. But I can totally do it.” The CGI is great, as are the fight scenes. Now let’s talk about the break out character, Black Panther. Chadwick Boseman does a great job as the young prince turned predatory cat-themed superhero. He’s motivated by a superhero classic, murder of a parent. His cold fury is shown from T’Chaka’s death, and doesn’t abate until he learns how toxic vengeance can be. Very well done.

And now, the bad. As far as villains go, while Zemo’s plan turns out to be one of the best villain plan to date, he’s probably the weakest character. He’s got like twenty minutes of screen time, which for me makes him a minor character, despite being the major antagonist. We also don’t see any of his sword or other combat skills, he’s strictly a thinker in this one. They also make major revisions to his backstory, making him a Sakovian Spec ops guy, rather than a German nobleman. Gives him motivation to hate the Avengers that isn’t tied to his father, Heinrich Zemo. Elder Zemo fought Captain America in WWII in the comics, and upon his death, Helmut takes the mantel for vengeance. For those who don’t know. Don’t get me wrong, I liked Daniel Bruhl’s character, but it wasn’t really Zemo for me, and even if they’d called him something else, he was kind of an underdeveloped bad guy. And, the motivations are kind of weak. Iron Man is so broken up upon once again being blamed for the collateral damage that hero fighting caused. I am kind of annoyed that this plot point keeps coming up, especially the New York incident. News Flash folks, had the Avengers not stepped in, you’d be either dead or enslaved to the Chitari. Might seem callous, but I think I’d say “Sorry, but stop your bitching,” were I Iron Man. Captain America’s motivation is also a little weak. Guy doesn’t even entertain the idea of government oversight. Granted, that was true of the Captain America and Iron Man of the Civil War comic story, but it was a weak story arc there too. Just saying.

Overall, got to give this A-. The cast and characters are great, the fight scenes are amazing, and while it was a poor adaptation of the story of the comics, it was still a fun ride. But, weaker character motivations and an underdeveloped villain keeps this from being a super movie. A super superhero movie. Even if, somehow, you were the level of comic purest that deviating from the original story even a little bit, you’ll still find some good out of this movie. “What?” you might be asking. “What could it be?” I would say that Black Panther, Ant-Man and Spider-Man’s parts in this film should at least get you jazzed for their separate films. So yeah, very good, flawed but great. Next time, something DC related, I’m still kicking around a few ideas. See you then folks. 

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Viewer Log: One-Punch Man ep 12

Boros, like Saitama, has a very poor understanding of restraint.

I’d really like to blame my latest absence over something important, like being severely overworked again, or serious hardware troubles, heck even on the death of Prince, but that is not the case. My day job, while still having an unusually heavy workload, has been manageable. My computer had a battery issue, but with the power cord it could still run. And despite being a Minnesotan, my general reaction to the death of Prince was one of mild surprise. No, the real reason behind said latest absence was getting sucked into a battle between the forces of good against a giant demonic whale. It makes more sense in context. Final Fantasy X still hits all of my addiction buttons, even fifteen years later. But enough about my love of Japanese RPGs, let’s focus on my love of Japanese cartoons… That sounded better in my head.

Once again, we pick up immediately where the last one stopped. Boros unleashes his unbridled fury against Saitama, and seems to actually be doing some damage to the seemingly invulnerable bald hero. Saitama gets his second punch in, blowing off one of Boros’ arms, but still doesn’t kill him. I think that’s a new record.

Below, the other heroes are having mixed results in their own projects. The stupidly named, but still more impressive than his (I’m assuming) younger brothers, Tank-Top Master tries to help knock the warship out of orbit by throwing bits of debris at it. Tornado steps in, gets larger, more numerous pieces and starts psionically flinging then at the ships underbelly. Emasculated by a woman that looks like a child, that’s got to really bruise the ego. Atomic Samurai and the other heroes are able to slice Space Clayface to ribbons once more, and Bang rushes in and destroys the final marble. Really freaking spry for an old guy.

Save to say, that was a pretty hard hit. 

Back on board the warship, Boros and Saitama continue their battle, this time to the show’s theme song. That’s how you know you’re watching a season finale level fight scene, theme songs make everything more intense. In fighting anime. Shockingly, Saitama is looking pretty winded and beaten up in this fight. Boros reveals that he’s got some pretty intense healing powers, and completely regenerates his arm. Saitama is pretty unimpressed by this. Infuriated by Saitama’s “so what?” attitude, he hints the yellow suited hero with enough force that part of the ship gets vaporized. Saitama’s okay, but gets knocked to the moon. Literally. He leaps back to Earth, creating a huge crater in the side of ol’ Luna, and the fight resumes. And I need to stop right here. Don’t want to ruin the ending of this one.

This was a very good ending. Boros is the most serious threat that Saitama has come across, and as such really did need those previous two episodes to show what a mega-level vessel of destruction he is. And despite this, Saitama still has moments of intense boredom during the fight. The man has the attention span of a rodent. The fight between these two titans, which takes up like 75% of the episode, is amazing. My favorite moment was when Saitama was blasted to the moon, and it takes him several seconds to figure out what happened. Nice bit of levity to break up the tension. While I don’t recall hearing what rank Saitama was promoted to, if he’s not at the very least Rank 1 of Class B after that fight, then the Hero Association is run by morons. Well, bigger morons then I thought. Just saying.

So overall impression of the season; doing my best Jim Carrey from The Mask impersonation, “I love it!” Saitama struggling with both being the most powerful, and yet almost unknown superbeing on Earth is both hilarious and a little depressing. I can think of few things worse than hitting the point where there just aren’t any more challenges in my life. It’d be nice for a bit, but humans really do seem to need conflict in order to function. Side characters like Genos, Tornado, Bang and Mumen Rider are all very interesting and entertaining. Honestly, I’d say any one of these four are interesting enough to get their own mini-series or spin off. Stranger things have happened. Here’s a link to the One-Punch Man theme song. Rarely does an opening so perfectly capture the essence of the show. I have no idea what any of the lyrics mean but it sounds sooo intense, doesn’t it? I highly recommend this series for anyone that like superheroes, anime, or just looking for something a little unusual to watch. An A for this unusual but awesome story. FYI, it is only available in subtitle form right now, but I’d be willing to bet they’re working on a dub of it. Be kind of stupid not to, am I right? Next time… not sure just yet. It’ll either be something DC related or my review of Captain America: Civil War. We’ll see what comes first. Have a good one.

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