Review: Black Adam

Blah blah blah has changed.

Okay, I’ve put it off long enough, let’s talk about Black Adam. DC’s latest attempt at a live action superhero flic isn’t awful but is another example of DC getting some things right while getting others horribly, horribly wrong. It’s certainly funnier than other DCEU movies, which I must give it credit for, but it’s also funny in the wrong places. They try to do something besides two people with nearly identical or actually identical powers brawling for the majority of the fights… only to devolve into just that for the final-final fight between Black Adam, the Justice Society and the actual villain of the piece. Dwayne Johnson is very fitting in looks and tone for Teth-Adam… but they push the “say’s he’s not a hero but is constantly doing hero stuff” line waaayyyy over the line. Also, not sure if this was everyone’s issue, but my theater had the sound mixing off, so about ¼ to 1/3 of the dialogue got drowned out by the background music BOOMING out. But enough of these vague complaints let’s get to it, shall we?

 

Sigh, this poster was way cooler
than the movie.

Black Adam opens several thousand years ago in the Bronze age in the fictional Egyptian city-state of Kahndaq. It’s a pretty nice city, one of the earliest civilizations in the DCEU canon, until it’s conquered by Ahk-Ton. Ahk-Ton is a tyrannical king whom forced his people to mine Eternium, a magic metal that has been in the DCEU literally the whole time, I guess, to forge him the Crown of Sabbac. It’s a magic crown that will give him great power. A young slave boy named Hurut helps an old man who found a chunk of Eternium turn it over to their masters, only to see the “reward” the old man demands for it is in fact death. Hurut wants to change things, but his world-weary father (whom sounds suspiciously like a former WWE wrestler) tells him to just keep his head down. The boy doesn’t listen, stirs up a small revolt, is captured, but released as he’s about to be executed by the Council of Wizards. The Wizards, lead by the wizard Shazam, bestow upon the boy the power of six gods that he can call upon by saying the word SHAZAM. The powers are: The Stamina of Shu: basically immortality, he can survive without food, water or air indefinitely, invulnerable to most harm; The Speed of Horus: inhuman speed, just short of lightspeed movement; The Strength of Amon: extreme superhuman strength, on par with Superman; The Wisdom of Zehuti: god like intellect, lets him understand all languages and gives him insight into the weakness of others; The Power of Aten: further enhances his strength, lets him fly and summon the Living Lightning, his primary weapon and means of transformation; and the Courage of Mehen: gives him superhuman willpower and resolve, also makes him immune to telepathy and mind control. I list these powers out, because the movie sure doesn’t give you more info than “the (blank) of (insert god). Hurut became the “Champion.” He leads a campaign against Ahk-Ton, ultimately killing him just before Ahk-Ton got the crown and obliterating his throne room and everyone in it. And after that lengthy intro sequence, we can get into the main movie.

 

We jump forward to modern Kahndaq. It’s once again occupied by foreign interests, this time the weirdly well-equipped criminal syndicate Intergang. They’re mining Eternium and using it to power their technology which includes magic flying motorcycles which don’t appear to be a new technology at all. Eternium would break the world as we know it if it existed and it’s weird that it hasn’t come up before from a world building aspect is what I’m saying. We join Archaeologist Adrianna Tomaz, her brother Karim, and her colleagues Samir and obvious villain… I mean Ishmael. They’re stopped at a checkpoint and almost caught, but Adrianna’s son Amon skateboards in and distracts the guard long enough to make him frustrated and wave them through. Why the brother of their highly sought-after fugitive, (who was driving the car!), isn’t also on their “find now!” list, I’ll never know. Amon catches up to them and asks if he can come along after Adrianna pulls herself out of her hiding place in back, but mama says no.

 

I won't lie, he definitely looks the part.

The group travels out to the desert where Adrianna believes that the crown is being held. She is right, and they find an ancient tomb with the crown floating several feet in the air. While Adrianna tries to get it, Ishmael murders Samir by shoving him down the cliff and Intergang soldiers arrive to give him back up. They play it like it’s a mystery what happened to Samir… but like who else could it be? Intergang rush in as Adrianna gets the crown. She is captured, as is Ishmael but we all know he’s playing along at this point, but notices an inscription on the ground. With no real options and “I’ll try anything at this point,” attitude Adrianna reads off the inscription, summoning the “Champion” Teth-Adam back from wherever he’d been for the last 5 millennia. Teth-Adam absolutely obliterates the Intergang soldiers, cooking one of them to bones and ashes with lightning and doing many other unpleasant things to the others.  He follows Adrianna outside and goes to speak with her, but he takes an Intergang Eternium RPG to the face. He survives it, killing the man, but then passes out from the magic enhanced explosion.

 

Around this time, Amanda Waller gets a call about the situation. She deems Teth-Adam a threat and contracts the Justice Society to deal with it. This is one of her dumbest plans ever, but I’ll get to that later. The team consists of veteran members Hawkman (Carter Hall) and Dr. Fate (Kent Nelson), along with legacy member Atom Smasher 2 (Al Rothstein) and completely new member Cyclone (Maxine Hunkel). The team suits up and flies out to Kahndaq to face off against Adam. On the flight there, Waller instructs them about what they know about Adam, ancient hero of myth, great power, and his only weakness is that he’s depowered if he says Shazam. Their plan… is no plan, as all they can think to do is make him say the one completely uncommon word that will take away his powers. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb!

 

Adam wakes up in Amon’s room. The kid is a mega fan of superheroes, which I can respect, but Adam sure doesn’t. He burns the face off one of his posters when he woke up. Adam, not wanting to be involved in any of this, busts through a wall, thanks Adrianna and Karim for their help, and starts fly walking away. I say fly walking, but what I mean is that Adam floats just like a half foot off the ground. He doesn’t move particularly fast, he could just use his leg but he decides not to. Amon chases after him and tries to convince Adam to be a superhero but Adam, again, says he’s not interested. Amon, who is I guess king of not taking a hint, causes a big ruckus in town, gaining Intergang’s notice, and gets Adam to save him. The demi-god murders just so many Intergang members before the Justice Society arrive. Hawkman and Doctor Fate face off against Adam while Cyclone runs support and Atom Smasher tries to find them. Yeah, he got lost during the touch down and must scurry about to find them while the other battle. Hawkman seems to be about on par with Adam physically, while Fate is his match with Magic, but neither can overpower Adam. During the fighting, Fate senses the Crown of Sabbac and then it becomes about Hawkman and Fate tagging in on the fight or tagging out to try to get the crown from Adrianna. Hawkman makes the very dumb call to tell Adrianna, who is a wanted criminal in her own country by an occupying force, that the Justice Society is about protecting Global Stability. Oy, this guy. There is a break in the fighting when Adam flies off to the throne room and Fate reveals to Adrianna that Adam was the one that destroyed most of Kahndaq in his rage 5000 years ago. He was an imprisoned mad man, not a lost hero. They find Adam in the throne room, and the Justice Society and Adrianna try to convince him to help save Kahndaq rather than destroy it. This speech gets extra motivation when Amon calls his mom.

 

They boy had been sent home to hide the crown from all parties. When he arrives there, he finds Ishamael and several Intergang members holding his uncle hostage. Karim is shot and Amon makes a run for it. He’s captured and taken on an Eternium hoverbike. Adam and Hawkman chase the bikes while Fate saves Karim. He reveals to the man that he will in fact die by electrocution. This is rather distressing to Karim as he is an electrician. Adam catches the bikes in flight, searches them for Amon and then drops the bikers, Hawkman saving several of them. He gets the final bike, finds that Amon was stolen away in another bike and the four he’d chased were a distraction, and then kills the last biker by throwing him skyward.

 

Oh just kiss already.

He returns to Adrianna’s home, takes the two bikers that Hawkman saved and interrogates them to tell him where Amon is via threat of falling. They tell him, he drops them anyway, and Hawkman saves them. The learn where Intergang’s headquarters is and fly out in Hawkman’s jet to find them. They arrive at the compound, and while the others want to form a plan, Adam just flies through, lightning blasting everything. They find Ishamael holding Amon behind an Eternium powered shield. He demands the crown for the boy, revealing that he’s the last living descendant of Ahk-Ton and deserves his birthright. Going to call bull on somehow keeping track of a family line through 5000 years, but whatever. They agree to it, but Ishamael betrays the deal immediately and tries to shoot Amon. Adam freaks out, destroying the whole place in lightning, killing Ishamael and seriously injuring Amon.

 

Adam flies back to the throne room and Hawkman follows. In the throne room, Adam touches down to the ground and explains his backstory. He explains that the Champion of Kahndaq was in fact his son, Hurut, and that his actions were misinterpreted as Teth-Adam’s by history. See, his son was made the Champion and lead a successful series of battles against the king. Ahk-Ton, realizing he couldn’t beat the Champion, sent men to kill his parents. Teth-Adam’s wife Isis is killed immediately, Adam grievously wounded before Hurut can arrive. Hurut, wanting to save his father, transfers his power to him via saying Shazam while holding hands. Unfortunately, while in human form, Hurut gets an arrow to the chest by an assassin. Enraged and empowered, Adam attacked Ahk-Ton’s throne room, killing him and severely damaging the city. The Council of Wizards summon Adam to the Rock of Eternity and imprison him for all time. Or so they thought. Seeing that pain he’d caused, Adam turns himself in, saying Shazam and reverting to human form, after getting Hawkman to swear they’ll lock him up somewhere where he can never say the word again.

 

DC has so many contraptions to hold Metas.

Adam is taken to an underwater prison in the arctic circle and sealed up in a cell that would keep him from speaking via a mask over his face. Meanwhile, Adrianna is examining the Crown and realizes that an inscription on it meant that the only way to unleash the power of it was to be killed while holding it. At the same time, Ishamael wakes up in hell and is empowered by six demons when he says their magic word, Sabbac. He’s reborn as a big horned demon thing, and flies to Kahndaq to sit on his ancestor’s throne. The Justice Society are still in town when all this happens and go to try to stop him. Well, they want to, but Fate throws up an energy shield to keep the others out. He wants to face Sabbac alone as it’s the only way to guarantee Hawkman lives. He faces off against the demon king, holding his own for a few minutes with magic copies, while simultaneously using his magic to open Adam’s cell and tell him what’s happening. Adam breaks through all the guards in the prison, somehow, swims up to the surface and transforms again before flying off to help save the day.

 

I’d normally say go see the movie if you want to see how the finale finishes… but it’s been two months, if you had any interest in seeing it, you would have.

 

Whole lot of build up, so little payoff.

Adam arrives and he and a magically enhanced via the Dr. Fate helmet Hawkman battle Sabbac with back up from Cyclone and Atom Smasher. Meanwhile, Amon, Adrianna, Karim and the Kahndaqi people fight the hordes of undead (like 15 zombies at least) that Sabbac summoned when he sat on the chair. Adam literally rips Sabbac’s head off to finish him off.

 

In the aftermath, Adam sits in the throne to see how it feels, decides he’s not a throne guy and destroys it with lightning. He adopts the new name of Black Adam on Amon’s urging.

 

In the post credit scene, Waller sends a drone to tell Adam that he can consider Kahndaq his prison now, and if he sets foot outside it, he’d better be prepared for her to throw the biggest gun she has at him. Adam isn’t impressed and destroys the drone. Only for the big gun to walk in himself… it’s Superman as played by Henry Cavill, saying they need to talk.

 

This movie… is fine. It’s not the worst thing the DCEU has ever cooked up, but it’s just kind of bland. The effortlessly charming Dwayne Johnson comes across as so flat and boring with his constantly scowling Black Adam. He has a few good lines, jokes like him not understanding sarcasm, or him saying “he didn’t make it” when the pilot he threw slammed into the ground behind him .5 seconds before, but that isn’t really enough to make him more than a grumpy Superman with a darker wardrobe. There’s also not much tension in the movie as most of the fights are between Black Adam, a character that is all but invincible being played by an actor who is contractually unable to lose a fight, verses a group of four heroes that in no way can stop him. They could have at least included a minor telepathic hero who they thought could mind control Adam into saying Shazam, instead of just sending them in to try to beat him up until he says it. Hell, Waller should have sent Shazam to do it, as the magic word doesn’t really care which chosen one says it. It’s happened more than once that Billy has said the magic word while grappling with Black Adam and the lightning forcibly changes them both back into human form. That’s a plan that could work way better, but I guess they didn’t want to pay Zach Levi to be in this. Also, again, Kahndaq having a living population and access to an actual, factual magic metal really breaks the reality here. Zero chance in hell that Eternium wouldn’t be mass mined and mass utilized over the whole damn planet if there were people to remember it’s there. Also-also… Sabbac. He’s a bland villain that’s just negative-Shazam with even more nebulous, ill-defined powers. That, and I’m sorry but I can’t accept that Ishamael knew all that he did after 5000 years. Ya know what else was an ancient civilization? Mycenaean Greece. It’s the ancient Greece that the Ancient Greeks said all their myths took place in. It existed between 1750-1050 BC, and that’s about all we know about it. We’ve got writing from the era, but it’s in Linear A and has thus far been untranslatable. So just some random dude knowing he’s descendant from a bronze age king is just… not possible, even in the realm of superhero fiction. The Justice Society was fun, I especially liked Pierce Brosnan as Dr. Fate, but again, their plan is dumb, they are no match for Black Adam, and they kind of stop fighting him a third of the way through the story to focus on the Sabbac plot. It just seemed kind of silly. Also, Waller, why didn’t you send a Suicide Squad in for this? Did you learn your lesson from the Enchantress incident and want heroes holding the bag? So yeah, it’s not the worst but it’s also not the game changer that DC wanted it to be. Have a good night, everyone. 

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Twitter; @BasicsSuperhero

Review: Shazam!

It's good to have a battle cry.

If you told me twelve years ago back when Chuck first aired that Zackary Levi would go on to be starring in a movie based on a DC character, I’d have probably laughed aloud.  But, after having seen Shazam!, I can say that past me was very much incorrect. While it isn’t the best film that I’ve seen this year, or even the best film with Djimon Hounsou in it this year, it’s still a fun film and I’m excited to talk about it. Let’s get to it, shall we?

He's here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and..
oh wait.

We begin in Upstate New York in 1974. A young boy named Thaddeus Sivana gets into an argument with his father and brother. Side note, I find it kind of sad that John Glover keeps getting cast as an abusive father, he was Lex Luthor’s crappy dad Lionel in Smallville, as the man seems delightful. Back on task, as the argument reaches its peak, Thad’s magic 8ball starts flashing weird runes and Thad is transported to a mysterious cave. This place is the Rock of Eternity, a source of magic in the DC universe. They try to claim its “the” source, but if comics have taught me anything its that there’s rarely a single source of anything. Just saying. There, he’s introduced to Djimon Hounsou… I mean the Wizard. The Wizard is the last surviving member of the Council of Seven Wizards, a group that was dedicated to protecting the world from the Seven Deadly Sins. He keeps their petrified bodies in his entryway, like garden gnomes if they were designed by HP Lovecraft. He offers his power to Thad, if he’s able to pass a test, to see if he’s ‘pure of heart.’ The Sin’s start talking to Thad and encourage him to take up a magic object called the Eye of Sin. He goes for it, fails the test and is kicked out by an irate Wizard. He gets sent back to his car just before he left. Thad, hyper furious about being deemed unworthy, freaks out and causes a chain of events that end with a major car crash. He and his brother are fine, but papa Sivana is thrown from the car and crippled. Whoops. To his surprise, his magic 8ball flashes a message of ‘Find us.’ Spooky. Following Thad’s banishment, the Wizard casts a spell to bring one pure of heart to him, to be the champion. No matter how long it takes.

Bro's for life? Bros for life.

Flash forward 44 years (whoops) and we’re in Philadelphia with William “Billy” Batson. Billy is a runaway foster kid searching for his mother. In a flashback, we learn that Billy and his mother were separated at a carnival when he was five or six. The only thing he has from her is a small ball compass that she won for him at the carnival, and the last name Batson. He’s run from 23 different foster homes while looking for her, and tracked down close to fifty women with the last name of Batson in the right age range, but came up empty each time. He’s placed in a group home run by Victor and Rosa Vazquez, a couple of former fosters that are trying to pay things forward. They bring Billy home and introduce him to his fellow fosters, Mary Bromfield, Pedro Pena, Eugene Choi, Darla Dudley, and Freddy Freeman. Fun fact, Mary in the original comics and most adaptations is in fact Billy’s fraternal twin whom had been placed in a different foster home following their parent’s death. He’s rooming with Freddy, whom is a bit of an odd ball and superhero enthusiast. He’s got some memorabilia like a bat-a-rang and a bullet supposedly fired on Superman. He kind of freaks Billy out a little, but seems nice enough, as do the rest of the foster family.

While that’s going on, an adult Dr. Thaddeus Sivana has become obsessed with finding a way back to Eternity Rock and has funded a massive experiment on ‘mass hysteria’ to find a way back. He is basically paying a research team to track down individuals that claim to have been to the Rock of Eternity like him to try and find a way back. His most recent case gives him the key, a video that shows how the door to Eternity Rock is opened. It’s the seven magic runes repeated seven times. Seven is a literal magic number in most mythology and folk lore, FYI. Thad gets in and is able to get around a far weaker Wizard to steal the Eye. It implants itself in his head and he becomes a vessel for the Seven Deadly Sins. He mortally wounds the Wizard before returning to Earth to enact his revenge.

Yes, DC has hit the point where they can make jokes in their
movies and they sound natural. I was shocked too.

Billy, meanwhile, is adjusting to his new family and new school, a bit. He at least develops enough of an attachment to Freddy to protect him from some bullies. Side note, how insecure does someone have to be to pick on a kid with a bum leg? He runs away from the bullies and gets on a subway car. Symbols start appearing and he’s teleported to the Wizard. The grievously wounded wizard explains a bit about his history. Seven wizards protected man kind from evil, they chose a champion, champion went bonkers, released the Sins and the eight of them killed six of the Seven Wizards. Can you smell what Black Adam is cooking!?!?!? Whoops, spoiler, maybe. The Wizard swore to never let anyone except the one with the purest heart gain his power and be the new champion. But… given his injuries and time being something of a factor here, he’s kind of forced to settle for Billy. This is what happens when you’re too picky. The two place their hands on his wizard staff and Billy is instructed to say the Wizard’s name… Shazam! He’s instantly transformed into Zachary Levi. Saying Shazam infuses Billy with the Wisdom of Solomon, the Strength of Hercules, the Stamina of Atlas, the Power of Zeus, the Courage of Achilles, and the Speed of Mercury. No, I don’t know why it’s Mercury (Roman God) instead of Hermes (Greek God), other than Shazah sounds silly. The magic also transforms Billy into his physical prime, hence why Asher Angel became Zachary Levi. Shazam begs Billy to use his power to stop the Sins and protect the world from evil magic before crumbling to dust. Billy teleports himself back to the subway and has some… adjusting to do.

Returning home, Billy grabs Freddy and the two try to figure out the mechanics of Billy’s new powers. They behave like two teenagers figuring out superpowers would, they post everything online. Facepalm. Through some experimentation, one sort of stopped mugging and one actually stopped robbery, they learn that Billy is pretty much invincible, super-fast, super-strong and can shoot lightning from his hands. They also learn that Billy can change back and forth by saying Shazam. Things start becoming tense as the two teens start butting heads, Billy feeling like Freddy is using his powers for attention, and Freddy feeling like Billy isn’t sharing the glory. Billy starts skipping school and using his powers to panhandle. Freddy confronts Billy about ditching him to be a magical street performer, which leads to one of Billy’s lightning strikes causing a bus crash. Billy saves the people, but that doesn’t really give Freddy the warm fuzzies. They have another argument, just before Sivana flies in. He’d recently murdered his family and the board of directors of his father’s company and had been warned by the Sins of the Wizard’s Champion. Sivana starts beating on Billy, who is freaking out slightly when he discovers that Sivana can hurt him. FYI, it takes either magic or Kryptonian level strength to damage Billy’s Shazam form.

7 Demon powers vs. 6 deity power, who will win?

Billy is thrown about town by Sivana, he gets a few licks in and learns that he can fly, but the actual adult is out for blood and Billy is a terrified fifteen-year-old. Apparently, the Courage of Achilles is the part of the powers that takes a while to manifest or something. Sivana wants Billy to transfer the powers of the Wizard to him, but Billy has no idea how. And I mean, come on, no one would willingly give up superpowers to a sociopath. He’s able to ditch Sivana by reverting back to normal Billy, but Sivana sees news footage of Freddy and Billy arguing, and catches Freddy. How convenient… or inconvenient… I guess it depends on who you ask.

Back at home, the Vazquez’s have learned about Billy’s truancy and being a dick and try to set him straight. At the same time, the other foster kids learn that Billy is the ‘Hero’ everyone is talking about. This was due to the news footage, arguments that Billy and Freddy had in front of them, and Billy saying too much to Mary when he saved her from getting hit by a truck. This is a massive relief to the talkative youngest, Darla, as she’d seen Billy transform but had been sworn to secrecy. After Billy is done getting chewed out, the group reveals that they’d found Billy’s parents. Eugene is a bit of a hacker and he may or may not have hacked into some secure servers to get this information. He was born in Minnesota (representing!) to C.C. and Marilyn Batson. His father is doing time in a Florida penitentiary and his mother… lives in Philadelphia, like 20 minutes from there. Turns out she went back to using her maiden name sometime after she and Billy were separated. Billy runs off and the Vazquez’s follow after him. About five minutes before Sivana and Freddy turn up at the house. Oh damn.

SHAZAM!!!

Billy makes it to his mom’s apartment. She’s shocked to see him and kind of fills in the blanks from the day at the carnival. Turns out, she didn’t lose him so much as willingly gave him up. I know, this is shocking to no one who can look at things objectively, but Billy is still a kid. She basically buckled under the pressure of being a young single parent and just walked away after they were separated. She tries to make it sound nobler, by saying that the cops were ‘taking care of him like she never could.’ Billy offers her the compass, but she doesn’t recognize it. So… you abandoned your son because of stress, gave him an abandonment complex and don’t even have the decency to remember the last gift you gave him?!?!?!? Marilyn is a bitch. Sorry, sorry, fictional character, but errr! As Billy is walking away, he gets a call from Freddy… well, Sivana using Freddy’s phone and is told to come back to the house. He runs to the roof, shouts SHAZAM and flies to the rescue.

Okay, so the good first. This was a very fun movie. DC films to date have all been rather dark, tonally as well as literally. This is the first movie that I’ve seen of the DCEU that used bright colors and was relatively lighthearted. It’s mostly a story about a kid learning about his powers and what a family really is. Ie, they’re the ones that you love, regardless of genetic connection. I liked the bonds between Jack Dylan Grazer and both forms of Billy, Asher Angel and Zachary Levi respectively. Even when Billy is in his Zachary Levi form it feels like a relationship that’s very true to close brothers. Mark Strong was a good, if somewhat limited, villain. He’s a Syndrome style bad guy, a potential mentor scarred him deeply as a child by acting like he wasn’t good enough so he became a monster. That old story. He doesn’t feel as flushed out as Syndrome, though. Still, I like Strong best when he’s being a seething, mildly intimidating baddie, and he’s exactly that in this film. It’s like his comfort zone. I was surprised and yet entertained by the fact that Djimon Hounsou was Shazam. The Beninese actor has been in several Marvel and DC films already, but the fact he was also a minor character in Captain Marvel earlier this year just puts a smile on my face. The effects were top notch. I especially liked the transformation sequence from just before the climax, with Billy leaping into the air before transforming. It was really well done.

The bad is minimal but still there. While the testing of Billy’s various powers is fun, it does eat up a lot of screen time. I think there was almost a solid half hour of Billy just doing stuff to show off his powers that were then put into the YouTube videos. It could have been streamlined is all I’m saying. That and the ensemble cast of foster kids were somewhat wasted. Freddy and Darla (Faithe Herman) get a fair amount of screen time, but Mary (Grace Fulton), Pedro (Jovan Armand) and Eugene (Ian Chen) barely get any time at all. We know that Mary is torn about going to college across country, Eugene’s a gamer and a hacker and Pedro… gets an F on a test. That’s about it… Well… okay so there’s a scene that might give us a little more. There’s a bit within the climax where Billy uses his powers to teleport the group away from an enraged Sivana. They end up at a place he was thinking about… a local ‘gentlemen’s club.’ Wes, if you’re reading this, ask your mom what that is. Love ya, Amy! Sorry, just trying to give a shout out to my nephew, and annoy my sister. Anyway, group comes out of the club and Pedro mentions its ‘not his thing.’ Now, that could have a ton of different meanings behind it, but as a former fifteen-year-old I can think of only one reason why one wasn’t ogling the… staff that that sort of establishment. Just saying. Ultimately the group does help out in defeating Sivana and the Sins, but it doesn’t feel like they did that much. Which, considering Mary’s former status as Billy’s biological sibling does feel somewhat odd. But yeah, aside from not really using the ensemble cast to the best of their ability, and a slightly overlong power montage, there really isn’t much to complain about.

This isn’t necessarily bad, but there was a point that disappointed me. When the Wizard Shazam described the fall of the Seven Wizard Council, it was done with magic CGI balls of light. I can’t be the only one that wanted to see The Rock in his full Black Adam gear destroying an ancient city, right? I know, it would have been hard to squeeze that in too, but dang it, I’m still saying missed opportunity.

Overall, I give this one a B+. While there were a few bumps here and there, the overall product is a fun ride with a unique hero at its heart. The whole thing about Shazam being a kid in an adult’s body is one of the more unique ideas to appear in comics and this film captures all the highs and lows such a situation could bring. Honestly, it makes me wish they’d do another Shazam focused TV show like they had back in the 70s. A Netflix style long format TV show with all of the same elements as this movie probably would have solved 90% of my complaints. Just saying. But, again, this is a good movie and I’m happy I saw it. Shame they didn’t schedule the release slightly better as Endgame comes out this week and is going to obliterate the box office. Speaking of, I guess I should probably formulate my thoughts on that one too.

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Twitter: @BasicsSuperhero

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Review: Justice League: Throne of Atlantis

One more DC related post before yet another Marvel theme week. Justice League: Throne of Atlantis is the direct-to-DVD sequel to Justice League: War. It introduces us to the New 52 version of Aquaman. The most notable change being that now, instead of sharing a father, Aquaman and his half-brother Ocean Master share a mother. So, since Aquaman's mother was the always the royal one, Orm now has a legitimate reasons to complain about not getting the top spot. Without further ado, Throne of Atlantis.

What's a Flash got to do to get on the cover?

The movie opens simply enough, with a submarine being attack by a group of aquatic warriors. Hey, it’s simple for a comic book. After the entire crew were slaughtered by the Atlanteans, we jump to Victor having a pleasant dream about being completely organic again. He’s rudely awakened by his cybernetics, badly flirts with one of his technicians, and is tasked with checking out the sub being sunk. So, you know, a usual Tuesday for Cyborg. He also tells his superior, Colonel Steven Trevor, that despite what he and the world seem to hope, the Justice League really isn’t a thing. Way to be a Negative Nancy, Cyborg. We jump to Superman and Wonder Woman having a date in Greece and contemplating their similarities and differences to Gods. So, yeah, we’re wasting our limited Justice League hour on this again. We then jump again to Arthur Curry, future Aquaman, drinking heavily at a seaside pub. He’s chatting with a lobster in a tank about his woes, chiefly that his Dad had just passed away. When someone tries to buy and eat said lobster, Arthur kind of flips out and a bar brawl ensues. Arthur’s half Atlantean physiology helps him beat the snot out of the five guys he was fighting with relative ease. The entire time he’s observed first by a red headed woman at the bar and then a scientist on the street. The main thug tries to knife Arthur when his back was turned, but unfortunately for him the knife snapped on his body. Arthur frees the lobster, and as he walks away, the woman in the trench coat drops it, reveals her Atlantean garb then jumps into the ocean.

We then join Cyborg as he begins checking out the submarine. He hacks the system, learning that the missiles he was sent to retrieve are missing. He’s then attacked by several Atlantean warriors, just barely escaping the group. Back with Arthur, he enters the lighthouse, bemoans his father’s death again, and drunkenly walks past several photos of his father, including a shot of his parents. We jump again to Cyborg and the only two Justice League members to respond to his summons, Shazam and the Flash. Flash then quickly gathers the rest of the League, by ruining Green Lantern’s attempts to score a date, and interrupting Superman and Wonder Woman’s civilian date. GL flies off when he finds out Batman didn’t show up, and helps Batman capture a group of henchmen working for the Scarecrow. Batman’s less than thrilled, because he was planning to scare the urine out of the henchmen and threaten them for information. Batman’s kind of a jerk.

She and Aquaman have about three conversations with each other.
Which, obviously, leads to the two of them becoming a thing.
Just like in real life... Right?

We check back with Arthur again, who is rather bizarrely crying over the one picture of his parents that he has before the lighthouse light. It’s pretty dang weird. Back with the League, they’re investigating the sub that they somehow pulled out of the ocean. They’re rather shocked to learn that the fish people are involved. Wonder Woman explains the Amazon’s old legend of Atlantis, how the ancient city’s citizens were saved when the city sunk by their king’s magic trident. Shazam suggest they look into a Dr. Shin, who has some bizarre Atlantis  theories that Cyborg thinks could be helpful. Batman and Superman go to check it out, while the rest of the League is tasked by Batman with finding Atlantis. Dick move, Batman. We jump back to Atlantis, where Arthur’s half-brother Orm is plotting with Black Manta. The two villains reveal they preemptively struck the sub while going to an audience with Orm’s mother. Mommy dearest is less than thrilled with Orm attacking the sub. Orm angrily berates his mother for not getting payback for the death of his father. The previous King of Atlantis having been killed in a volcanic explosion, caused by Darkseid’s invasion. Queen Atlana won’t have it, and orders her son to sit down, shut up, and do as he’s told. But more politely. Atlana reveals to her chief guard, Mera (the red head from the bar) that Arthur is to be king and sends Mera to collect her first born.

We flashback to Arthur’s childhood, where he remembers seeing his mother in the ocean. With her trident. Scary awesome mom. She gives him a loving kiss on the forehead before casting him back to the lighthouse. Thomas Curry is less than thrilled to hear this, but assures Arthur he’ll always be there for him. A hung over Arthur wakes up, and depressingly shaves. Such a sad sack. Well, we jump to Dr. Shin, who is excitedly discussing his work with his assistant, whom is revealed to be Black Manta. Manta loads up his sub with the stolen missiles, cloaks it to look like an American sub, and sends some Atlanteans to kill Shin and Arthur. While that’s going on, Black Manta attacks Atlantis in the cloaked sub. Jerk. Arthur holds his own against the Atlantean hit squad, but Atlantis doesn’t fare so well against the “attack.” Arthur is overwhelmed by the Atlanteans, but he’s saved at the last second by Mera. Can you guess where this is going? Bow chica wow wow.

Sigh... is there a fictional royal family that doesn't try to kill
each other?

Jump again, I'm starting to feel like some sort of flea or jumping bean, we see Batman and Superman enter Shin’s home. Together they learn that Shin’s work was centered on Arthur. Dun Dun DUUAAA! In Atlantis, Queen Atlana works to keep the peace, while Orm keeps trying to start a war. Atlana shuts them up using the magic trident, and decrees that she’ll broker a peace with the Justice League. In the ocean, Mera explained a bit more of Arthur’s background. Apparently Atlana was forced to leave Thomas and Arthur, princesses can’t marry peasants regardless of realm I guess. She outfits Arthur in some old Atlantean armor. Meanwhile, the Justice League searches for Atlantis, before being sent to find Arthur. Arthur tries to run from his destiny, before being attacked by sea-beasts. The two are able to hold off long enough for the Justice League to show up and even the odds. Arthur and Mera have moment, and then the Justice League agree to help them save Atlantis.

In the throne room Orm and Black Manta have an argument, and then try to again convince Atlana to attacking the surface. Atlana reveals she knew that Manta and Orm were behind the attack on Atlantis, and Orm stabs his mother in the back. Dick move, Orm. The Justice League is attacked in Atlantis, and meet Orm, now in his Ocean Master gear. He boasts about murdering his mother, sick weirdo, and about his plans to conquer the surface. The race is on to stop the insane Orm and his plans for conquest.

The good first, as always. The animation on this movie is beautiful. Stuff moves in the water like it’s supposed to, and the various energy/magic bolts are really well done. They throw in some CGI animation towards the end, for some of the troops marching and the Atlantean war machines, but it doesn’t look that out of place. Voice acting is top notch, with just about all of the JL members being returning cast members. Arthur is also pretty well done as the depressed hero, being forced to not only deal with the loss of the only family he’d ever known, as well as the pretty big shocker that he’s only half human. Kind of a lot to deal with in a week.

Team gets a bit bigger. Now they have TWO magic guys.

The bad is pretty minimal, again. I really don’t understand why they seem to insist that these movies are only a little over an hour. It really forces them to rush a lot of plot and character development. Particularly with Orm, who starts off as an evil whiner and really doesn’t go anywhere.  Adding another fifteen-twenty minutes to these movies would really clean up that particular problem, among others. Again, I felt that Superman and Wonder Woman’s relationship is kind of stuffed in there. Doesn’t really add anything, other than to give the two of them more screen time. Guy’s like Green Lantern and the Flash could have used a little more screen time, but since they weren’t a huge part of the comic story, I can’t be too mad about it.

I give this one a B+. I dropped the grade down a bit from the last time, chiefly because that short run time still really makes it hard to cover everything in the timeframe. You can only do so much in an hour, and it's hardly enough time for a movie. Heck, it's more of a two part episode of a very short lived TV show. It's still an enjoyable introduction to one of DC’s most powerful heroes, Aquaman, and a good continuation of the story started in Justice League: War. Next time, we start another theme week, for the Fantastic Four. Whoopee. 

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justice_League:_Throne_of_Atlantis#/media/File:Justice_League_-_Throne_of_Atlantis.jpg

 http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20150114141534/marvel_dc/images/4/4d/Mera_Throne_of_Atlantis_0001.jpg

 http://dcmovies.wikia.com/wiki/File:Justice_League_Throne_of_Atlantis_-_14_Queen_Atlanna.png

 http://www.comicvine.com/reviews/justice-league-throne-of-atlantis/1900-3799/

Justice League: War review

First, a Moment of Silence for Dr. King, Jr. … Alright, now on with the show. Justice League: War is a direct to video adaptation of Justice League: Origin, the retelling of the founding of the Justice League as of the New Fifty Two continuity. As such, the costume designs and interpersonal relationships between the heroes matches the new universe. If you've ever asked, "What could get these guys together," You don't know Darkseid. Let’s get to it.

There a reason why Green Lantern and The Flash couldn't
make the cover?

The film begins with a cloaked figure snatching a woman. It gets a few streets over before being stopped by Green Lantern Hal Jordan. The figure, originally thought to be a PO’ed Batman, is revealed to be an ugly as sin monster. The creature belches flames and runs off. Hal saves the woman, who is rather ungrateful just saying, and resumes pursuit. After a brief chase, Batman arrives and gets in a few good hits. The monster escapes, though, and after a lengthy chase, with some incredibly good banter between the Emerald and Dark Knights, (Wait, you’re not just a guy in a Bat costume? Batman grins) they find out what the creature was up to. It planted some sort of Box in the Sewers of Gotham before going all Voltorb on them. For those that don’t get the Pokémon reference, it blew itself to pieces. It sheiks "For Darkseid!" before being engulfed in flames. GL just barely saves the two of them from the explosion. Hal tries to scan the Box, but his ring informs him that it has no freaking idea what it is. Given that the ring is connected to the Book of Oa, which is a collection of all the knowledge that the immortal Guardians have, Hal is understandably disturbed by this. Batman and Green Lantern nab the Box and plan to see if the big blue Boy Scout Superman has any idea what it is.

We flash to a few different heroes. We see the Flash conversing with Dr. Silas Stone in Central City. Apparently he’d found a similar Box and brought it to Stone in S.T.A.R. Labs. We also learn that he'd brought another of the creatures that attacked Gotham to the laboratory. Dr. Stone is pretty disturbed to admit that the creature seemed to be designed to fall apart. Why? Because one does not make expendable soldiers unless they can be quickly and easily replaced. Another quick stop over to Wonder Woman in DC, she stops a small protest by making the lead Protestor admit he cross dresses in a Wonder Woman outfit… Disturbing but funny. Another prospective change and we see Victor Stone, High School Football star winning his big game while Billy Batson (the 10 year old human form of the magically empowered Shazam) watches from Dr. Stone’s reserved seat.

Very few can swipe the ring off a GL's finger.. appendage.

In Metropolis, Batman and Green Lantern have a quick brawl with Superman because… well, dudes are dumb that way. Seriously, the entire confrontation could have been avoid with them just saying “Superman, we have this thing, do you know what it is?” But no, fighting must ensue. The fighting ends when Batman calls out Superman’s secret ID and the three heroes do what they should have done from the start, and exchange info. We then jump to a hellish world known as Apokolips, where an ugly as sin man named Desaad asks his master, Darkseid (pronounced Dark side) to move up their invasion time table given the Heroes finding the “Mother Boxes.” Darkseid agrees.

Around the same time Victor Stone arrives at S.T.A.R. Labs. He’s furious at this father for missing his Football game, implied to be for the umpteenth time. Dr. Stone is angry that Victor 1. Interrupts his research with the Mother Box, and 2. Insinuates he wants to go to College on a football scholarship. Their argument is kind of a bizarre twist on the pro-sports pro-school father son argument, where Victor wants his father to appreciate his sports achievement, and Dr. Stone stresses how foolish it is to focus on Sports with guys like the Flash and Superman zooming around. Which is is a rather callous, but sound argument. Victor grabs the Mother Box from its containment, in his anger trying to comprehend how his dad could be more focused on a creepy Box than his own son, right as the invasion starts. The energy wave from the box activating horribly burns and disfigures Victor as thousands of the monster from earlier, Parademons, come spewing out.The Mother Boxes had been placed in every major city. So yeah, that's a lot of Parademons spread out across a huge area. 

Victor is just barely saved thanks to his Dad’s technological intervention and, oddly enough, the residual chemical spill from the Mother Box activation. After this, it’s the team up of Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, The Flash, Batman, Shazam, and the still assembling Cyborg verses Darkseid and his army. It’s going to be messy, to say the least. That’s all you’re getting from me in terms of summary, go check it out lads and lasses.

Do I look where the eyes are or where they should be?

The good first. I really like the interactions between the characters. First and foremost the banter between Batman and Green Lantern. Most of it is Jordan belittling the supposedly powerless Batman, before being slapped by Karma when Batman saves his bright green butt. Funny as heck. Shazam and Cyborg also have some pretty decent banter. Shazam as Billy is a huge fan of football player Victor, so fighting evil with him is a pretty big kick for the child in a man’s body.

The stakes are pretty awesome too. Darkseid is an immensely powerful monster, he is merciless, cruel, and sadistic. Superman has fought him to a standstill a few times, but when it comes down to it he’d definitely need back up to make the dark god back down. I also really like the New Fifty Two costume redesigns. Besides Wonder Woman’s, but I’ll get to that in a minute. Rather than just being bright Green or Bright Red for GL and Flash, there’s a splash of yellow or neon to make the costumes a little brighter. I especially like Cyborg as his body develops. When he begins, his robotic form is choppy, blocky and constantly reshaping. The bit of Apokolyptic tech that is still running grabs any and all machinery that could help Cyborg in battle.

The bad is minor. I felt that the real tiny subplot of Superman and Wonder Woman starting a romantic relationship is…really, really forced. Maybe it’s because I’ve always been a fan of the Superman and Lois Lane pairing, maybe it’s because literally nothing I’ve seen before the New Fifty Two had even the smallest hit of attraction between Supes and WW, or it could be because the movies dialogue between the two reads like god awful Fan Fiction, but regardless, not a fan. On Wonder Woman, while I found her to be pretty hilarious by herself, her costume is still pretty ridiculous. Reminiscent of Captain Marvel (Danvers) old costume, it’s a one piece swimsuit with gloves and thigh high boots. A warrior wouldn’t wear this, it leaves the pretty important arteries in the thigh and shoulder exposed. Stop trying to make us think a lady warrior would wear something like that. Also, it’s a little rushed. We’ve got a lot of characters to cover, a lot of plot to build, and we’re doing it in just over an hour. Why? We could totally have let this spill into an hour and a half or two hours, it would have been doable. So why the heck not? I don’t know.

Overall, I’d give this movie an A -, it’s good, very good but has a few things holding it back. If it’d just been a little longer, and possibly dropped the super being starting romance, it could have been an A or better. I’d defiantly suggest it for anyone that was wondering what could get these seven heroes together. Also, I will say that the biggest focus is on Cyborg going from man to machine. It’s not a bad thing, but it’s a noticeable focus. The new guy gets the most focus… I’m okay with that. Next time, I’ll be covering this movie’s central antagonist, Darkseid. 

It's a good group.

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justice_League:_War#mediaviewer/File:Justice_League-War.jpg

 http://comics-x-aminer.com/2014/01/05/new-image-of-batman-from-justice-league-war/

 http://www.comicvine.com/images/1300-4318046

 http://www.comicvine.com/parademons/4060-57182/images/

 https://www.pinterest.com/pin/294915475571132162/