Hero Profile: Deadpool

Look at that handsome devil.
I'd read anything written by him.

Howdy ya’ll! I bet you were expecting Mr. tall, red, and handsome to do this, but no such luck. Nobody, and I mean nobody, talks about ol’ Deadpool but me, Deadpool. I had a little chat with your regularly scheduled host, and we agreed that I should be the one to do this. And I’m sure my sharp pointy things had nothing to do with him agreeing to it. (For those who don’t know, when I say sharp pointy things I mean my swords.) So I’ll cover most of this here profile, and leave the last little bit for Mr. J.

SO, introductions. I’m Deadpool, also known as Wade Wilson. Not to be confused with Slade Wilson aka Deathstroke from DC. That egomaniac says I’m a rip off but we all know that’s not true. (The guys that came up with me is really into Teen Titans but I’m sure that at nothing to do with similar name.) I’ve had a heck of a past, traveling all over the world, meeting all kinds of people, and getting paid for doing what I do best which is un-aliveing people. I’m really good at it, really really good at it. I had tons of fun, which unfortunately ended when I found out I had brain cancer. What? Deadpool has a brain issue? Shocking, I know. After going back to Canada, my home and native land as the song goes, I was approached by some nice fellows from Department K. They offered me a cure for cancer so long as I agreed to be part of a little experiment put on by some friends of theirs. These friends were from the Weapon X Program. Anyone who knows anything about Wolverine, you can probably guess where this is going. I was given an artificial healing factor, which made sure I wouldn’t die from cancer but didn’t cure it. After getting away from those charming men in black suits I went back to my mercenary career but this time with superpowers. Sometimes I’m good, sometimes I’m bad, but I’m always DEADPOOL!

Sigh, why can't I have Ryan Reynolds' face all the time?

Despite what lesser forms of art would have you believe, (cough X-men Origins cough), my only superpower is the healing factor given to me by the Weapon X Program. I use some other things, like a teleporter on my belt, but really healing is the only thing that is consistently mine. I’m great with my sharp pointy things, and I am absolutely godly with all forms of firearms. Give me enough guns and bullets and I could take over a small country. Also that brain cancer I mentioned earlier gave me a unique little superpower that is totally 100% Deadpool only. And that is a functional immunity to telepathy. See, with the cancer constantly destroying my brain, and my healing factor constantly fixing my brain, it’s really really hard to get a track on what my thought process is. It’s like trying to make a map of the desert, which is really really hard, I tried it once. So, despite the lesser side effects, something good came of it. Some doctors say my cancer is what gives me my FOURTH WALL awareness, they call it psychosis, but I say it’s from my sheer uncontrollable insurmountable AWESOMENESS. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I’m a master at hand-to-hand combat. I can beat up guys like Taskmaster, he copies fighting techniques perfectly, because I’m about as predictable as an M. Night Shyamalan movie. (Back when he was making good movies.)

Me and my best buddy Cable.
I don't take the gun personally
all my friends have tried to kill me, except Cap.

Now that I’ve covered all the points that I can cover about me, I’ll turn it back to Mr. J not be confused with the Joker. Go ahead Mickey J, tell them all about how much you love me. (Click)

Deadpool you can put the gun away, I actually really like you.

Oh, okay then.

Now Deadpool, unfortunately, doesn’t have a large of a body of non-comic book work as some of the other characters. This is due in in part to the fact that he is relatively new. He was created in the 90s, whereas the X-Men themselves have been around since the 60s. Despite this is pretty well known. In recent years he has been popping up in various animated incarnations, as well as most X-Men video games. I myself was introduced to the character in X-Men Legends 2: Rise of Apocalypse. He’s a boss character that can be unlocked post game. And he has all of the crazy Deadpoolishness you’d expect. I would say one of the best examples of Deadpool in the animated frontier would be his appearance in the Ultimate Spiderman TV show. While the show itself isn’t the best, Deadpool’s episode is a perfect representation of him and his crazy. I was shocked when I found out they were going to be putting him in the Disney Marvel-versus, but somehow they were able to tone down Deadpool so that he could fit in a more kid friendly show. He was still Deadpool, he was still crazy, he was still violent, and yet he was still age-appropriate. Don’t watch X-Men Origins: Wolverine for him.

All dressed up and ready to go!

That movie is so bad they've tried to write it out of the canon. Ha ha, take that Mr. Turn-Any-X-Men-Movie-into-a-Wolverine-Movie Hugh Jackman.

Quiet you. One of the best parts about Deadpool is that even in a world where the crazy people in brightly colored costumes are taking themselves way too seriously, there is still this one crazy dude that usually doesn’t take himself seriously at all. Despite this, he isn’t funny all the time. He is serious when he needs to be. And it’s in these serious moments where we learn that honestly he is in a great deal of pain. Physical and emotional, which is why the needs to rely on some of the more crazier antics to just kind of shutout said pain. He’s a guy that I hope will get another chance on the big screen sometime soon, and I hope when that day comes they realize that the humor needs some of the darker elements for Deadpool to shine the way he is supposed to.

Aw, thanks Mickey. That was really nice.

You’re welcome Deadpool. Also, don't call me Mickey.

Dually noted. Ignored, but dually noted. So... when do I get paid?

Paid?

Yeah, for doing this bit. $100,000 sounds fair. You are going to pay me right? I'd hate to do something Drastic. 

D-Deadpool, I’m a recent college grad working part-time at a convenience store, I don’t have that kind of money. Plus, how does one pay a fictional character?

That is a very good question! I'll need to figure that our... But dang it, I really liked you man, (Click). But no one stiffs Deadpool.

Deadpool, don't do anything drastic. If I promise to see your movie, when it comes out, at least three times regardless of how good or bad it is will you not shoot me?

Yeah that sounds fair. This was fun anyway. Peace out y’all.

Have a good night everybody.

Me and my favorite person, Zombie ME!

 http://marvel.wikia.com/Cable_%26_Deadpool_Vol_1_14

 http://www.liveforfilms.com/2011/03/29/deadpool-movie-will-still-have-ryan-reynolds-and-be-true-to-the-character/

 http://www.8cn.tv/content/x-force-movie-development-could-cable-and-deadpool-be-stars

 http://www.comicvine.com/forums/battles-7/bruce-wayne-vs-deadpool-743592/

 http://www.unleashthefanboy.com/comics/4-reasons-deadpool-movie-will-happen-sooner-later/94711#!bc5FsZ