Review: Power Rangers

Is anyone the least bit surprised that I liked Power Rangers while growing up? Yeah, Michael T. Johnson, superhero blogger, SciFi nerd, Fantasy nerd, comic book nerd, and Anime nerd is also a fan of Power Rangers. If even one person who has read my posts is surprised by this, I will be utterly flabbergasted. Sure, it was stupid, campy, stupid, and poorly edited. But, for my childhood… teens… cough-early twenties-cough, it was a fun bit of craziness that I look back upon fondly. Now that that is out of the way, let’s get into this review, shall we?     

It's Morphin Time.
If you're a 90s kid, this should give you chills.

We open to a war on prehistoric Earth. The heroic Power Rangers just suffered a massive defeat while protecting the Zeo Crystal, the source of life-energy on Earth. Four of the five Rangers have been killed by Rita Repulsa, the traitorous sixth Green Ranger. The Red Ranger and Leader, Zordon, is also heavily injured and probably won’t make it much longer. He orders his assistant, Alpha 5, to crash their command ship at his location. Rita appears and gloats about beating her former allies, just before the ship smashes into the planet. Zordon barriers the Power Coins (the source of the Ranger Powers) as his last act, as Rita is thrown into the ocean.

Millions of years later, the area where Zordon made his valiant sacrifice has become Angle Grove. It’s a small fishing town, with nothing too interesting going on. Local football star Jason Scott gets into a massive car crash following a botched prank, which ruins his high school football career, gets himself put under house arrest, and put into detention for the remainder of the year. This makes him something of a social pariah, and estranges him from his father. During his first Saturday detention, he meets Billy Cranston. Billy is a socially awkward teen, and gets picked on by a bully. Jason, not going to put up with this, slaps the punk across the face and tells him to back off of Billy. At the same time, cheerleader Kimberly Hart is also in detention. She’s called away for a moment by her friends, whom basically tell Kim they’re washing their hands of her. Teenage drama at its… teenage dramaiest.

Billy is very thankful for Jason’s help, offers to help him out. Kind of. He offers to hack Jason’s ankle bracelet, in exchange for Jason’s help with a little project. He also throws use of his mother’s van for Jason, too. Jason takes him up on the offer. After disabling the bracelet, Billy has Jason drive him to the Angle Grove Gold Mine. Billy’s father used to work at the mine, and the two had explored the mine together when he had time off. After helping Billy lug some equipment, he ditches the adorkable nerd, and comes across Kimberly whom is swimming in the mountains. Because reasons. It’s better the excuse as to why our last two teens, Zack and Trini, are in the area. Zack is just… there, and spends time spying on Trini whom is doing tai chi on rock. No, they really explain why she is doing this. The four are all drawn back to Billy after he blows a giant chunk of rock off the mine. They discover the coins, and dig them out.

Mine security and the cops arrive moments later, and the teens beat a hasty retreat. While they escape, the teen’s van is hit by a train. Jason, and the others, awaken at their homes the following morning. No, they never explain how this happened. The teens also discover that they now clearly have superpowers, as Jason crushes his sink, and Billy accidentally smash his bully’s hand. At the same time, Rita’s body is dredged up from the sea by Jason’s father fishing boat. After breathing fresh air for the first time in millions of years, she starts to recover. She starts killing locals and stealing their gold.

She's green, and has a thing for gold.

The teens all reconvene at the mine, and after testing out their new powers, they discover a secret cave and Zordon’s ship. They’re drawn inside, and are greeted by Alpha. The friendly robot is quite happy to see them, as he’s been waiting for the next generation of Power Rangers to appear for 50+ million years. This gives him a chance to also revive Zordon. Zordon has been fused with the ships mainframe and now appears in an awesome wall display. After getting up to speed on things, Zordon tells the fledgling Rangers that they’ll have 11 days to prep to fight Rita. After that time, she’ll have the strength to revive her super monster Goldar. Together, they’ll steal the Zeo Crystal and destroy all life on Earth. The teens leave and are pretty uninterested in being Rangers, but Zordon convinces Jason to train, whom then convinces the others to stay.

They have a training montage against simulated Putties, Rita’s foot soldiers. They rapidly improve, but are unable to morph into their armored form. Alpha, in an attempt to encourage the Rangers, shows them their Zords, giant robots modeled after ancient animals. No, I have no idea how a mastodon and a sabretooth cat got onto the roster in this go-round, since Zordon was unconscious during the Pleistocene era when these things died out. Just saying. Zack, being an idiot, takes his mastodon out for a joyride. He nearly crushes a van of nuns, and then the Rangers. Jason angrily berates Zack, who fights back. Billy freaks out a little, stepping between them and morphing for the first time. He changes back, but is unable to change again. Zordon, angry at their lack of progress in morphing, dismisses them. He and Alpha discuss how they need the teens to morph, as activating the morphing grid will allow him to escape his wall prison and be a ranger again. Jason hears this, and accuses Zordon of using them. He storms off. He and the others bond a little around a campfire.

Later, Rita attacks Trini at her house. She flings the new yellow ranger around, taunting her and makes her a deal. She’ll spare Trini if she leads the Rangers into a trap. Trini tells the team about what happen, and they go to confront Rita. She gets the drop on them, and captures the team. She tortures them a little, and gets Billy to reveal that he had found where the Zeo Crystal ended up. Under Krispy Kreme. I’m pinching the bridge of my nose in irritation at the product placement. She drowns Billy but lets the others escape. The teens recover Billy’s body and brings him to Zordon. Zordon claims there isn’t anything he can do at the moment. The Rangers resolve to stop Rita, for Billy. Their new resolve awakens the Morphing Grid. Zordon, obviously, opts to revive Billy rather than himself. The teens morph for the first time and rush to battle Rita.

What even is Goldar? A flying monkey?
A Cat-monster?

Good. These teenagers do actually have attitude. As the promos pointed out, these versions of the teenagers are screw ups. Jason is a former football star that made a bad choice and potentially screwed himself up for life. Kimberly is kind of the same, a cheerleader that did something really stupid, hence her being in detention. Billy, who is autistic this go-round, has trouble with social situation and is, again, adorkable. I especially liked the reasoning as to why he was in detention, he accidentally blew up his lunchbox. Zordon is a more ‘human’ character, which is good. Brian Cranston is delight, in general, but is great as this new Zordon. Rita is very creepy, and off putting. It is difficult to make Elizabeth Banks seem unattractive. This version being a former Green Ranger added a bit of depth to a character that used to just make monsters and scream angrily. And, while it’s a bit of a slow burn, I liked the pacing. We didn’t really get to see too much action in the first half, it was mostly training. And, while it’s cheesy, it’s the perfect kind of Power Ranger’s cheesy.

The bad is minimal. It’s very obvious that the ‘main’ characters were Jason, Billy and Kimberly. Zack and Trini felt very tacked on, as they were just there in the mountains at the right time because reasons. They do get decent characterization later, but their introduction is rather poor. I’m not a major fan of what they did to Goldar. The giant golden flying monkey-cat thing of dubious loyalty, whom often crossed swords with various rangers is transformed into a generic monster.  Not the best idea. Also, there are a few major plot holes. Like never explaining how the Rangers escaped the initial train crash, or how/why Rita was suddenly reviving after millennia of being dormant. Did finding the power coins revive her? Or did Rita just now start to recover, so the coins ‘called out’ to their new hosts? Never explained.

Well.. he IS Gold. And has his precious wings.

Overall, I’ll give this one an A-. It’s kind of amazing, when my little brother and I first saw the promos we agreed that “they totally missed the point.” The darker elements seemed to go against the cheesiness of the old Might Morphing Power Rangers. But, in actuality, they hit the mark. They melded the original cheesiness of Power Rangers with a slightly more mature story. These teenagers with actual attitude are more understandably flawed characters then the originals. Which is good. One of the weakest elements of the original Power Rangers, for me at least, was that the Rangers were just sooooooooo goodie goodie that it was kind of impossible to take them serious. There are some head scratching moments, but somehow, I doubt it’ll ruin the movie for most folks. I recommend it for fans of the original Power Rangers, or anyone that wants to see a sort of superhero movie. Next time, we’ll be putting Iron Fist on hold for a little bit, I’ll go into more detail then. See ya soon.

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https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d7/Rita_Repulsa_%28Elizabeth_Banks%29.jpg
http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/powerrangers/images/c/cf/Goldar.png/revision/latest?cb=20131109205302
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Viewer Log: Iron Fist ep 3

So… Danny hasn’t had a super great time since getting back to New York. He’s beset by lies, anger, and more lies. Things don’t really get much better since he escaped the mental hospital that Ward and Joy Meachum sent him to. He was able to convince Colleen to let him hide out at her dojo for the night, they have one close call when some of Ward’s goons came looking for him, but they were scared off by Colleen’s wooden sword. She tells him to hightail it out of the Dojo by morning.

Anyone else getting an "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" vibe?

Ward does the usual runaround to get into his Dad’s secret sanctum. There’s a pretty serious ‘what the heck?’ moment when he finds Harold Meachum sleeping in some sort of stasis pod. Nothing creepy about that. After popping out of the pod, father and son chat. Harold is insisted that a business deal involving an old pier go through, despite Ward’s skepticism. They’re offering thousands more then the initial asking, but Harold is insistent they keep throwing money at the project until it goes through. Harold knows that Ward tried to have Danny killed. Not surprising, giving how wired that place was. He beats his son for disobeying his orders, and demands that he keep Danny safe if the young Rand reappears.

Colleen and Danny have conflicting meditation techniques. Colleen is a little more classical meditation, where Danny needs some rap to focus. They have a quick martial arts match while flirting, flirt fighting, before trying to kick Danny out of the dojo, again. He placates her by promising to pay her bills for the next year if she lets him stay the week. The promise of money, and good looks, can get you a lot in life.

The next day, Ward and Joy butt heads over how to handle the Danny situation. Joy wants to just talk to him, where Ward thinks that’ll just complicate things further. He also gives Joy the assignment to get the pier, as per their father’s instructions. After that, Joy finds Danny waiting on her porch. She tries to be kind and invites him in. They chat about dreams involving her Dad, she remembers a dream about a touching reunion (remember, she thinks he’s dead) and Danny tells her about the “dream” in the Hospital. She seems more than a little shaken by this, but presses on. She, believing Danny is who he says, offers to buy him out of his Rand Enterprises shares. Forty million dollars, so long as he also changes his name. Danny is very upset by these stipulations, and storms off.

Did he really expect brass knuckles to trounce a glowing hand?

Danny visits his family’s memorial. After chatting with a groundskeeper, he looks into whomever has been maintaining the site. And it’s… son of a biscuit, Jeri Hogarth. I am so sick this woman. She pulls her mace on Danny when he gets close, I guess someone appraised her of the situation. They have a rapid-fire q and a, partially to confirm Danny’s id, and partially to info dump Jeri’s connection to Rand. It was the first firm she worked for. They have a chat about options. Jeri informs Danny that turning down the millions was a good idea, since, if they can prove he’s Danny Rand then he’s actually worth Billions. She agrees to help, pro bono, on the condition that if they win, then Jeri’s firm is put on permanent retainer with Rand Enterprises.

We get a few quick bits with the Meachums. Harold does some physical training, but is interrupted by a visit by the Hand. Remember the old gal from season one of Daredevil? She’s back. She demands to know where Harold went. He explains, but she’s not satisfied, he makes him kneel in broken glass to show loyalty. Ward and Joy take their client out, they grease his palm and get the pier, in exchange for a super illegal black market organ exchange. Messed up.

Danny meets up with Jeri again. She’s less than happy with her search results. Most of the important Danny Rand info seems to have mysteriously vanished. She wants him to find something that could prove his identity that he might have forgotten. He goes to an old hospital. Apparently, he’d broken his arm years ago, and was brought to the hospital. He nearly gets his butt kicked by Ward’s hired gun, but taps into his chi and fights back. The guy pulls out like three or four weapons that aren’t guns, stupid, but finally lets the files on fire. Danny could have probably saved his file, but chooses to save the unconscious file-worker from dying a fiery death. Good guy, Danny.

Afterwards, Danny interrupts the Wards meal. He’s pretty furious at all the attempts at hiding who he is. Joy kind of pulls a 180 on her opinion and tells Danny to take the deal and/or piss off. Danny swears that this isn’t over.

Oh great, Jeri's back. I can barely contain my excitement.
If you haven't read my Jessica Jones reviews, I'm being
Super Sarcastic.

Colleen, strapped for cash and getting the idea from one of her students, goes to participate in a cage match. The ‘Daughter of the Dragon’ goes up against Rusty. The massive man is tough, but Colleen takes him down and wins a nice stack of cash.

We then enter the case of Meachum and Rand Enterprises vs. Jeri Hogarth and Daniel Rand. The Meachums, in a very condescending and jerky manner, let Danny know that their reducing their offer and adding a restraining order. Jeri counters with a bowl. Said bowl, was made by Danny years-ago and given to Joy as a gift. Ward is unimpressed, until Jeri points out that the clay has a fingerprint of Danny’s on the underside. Ward is rather furious at potentially losing, promises that he’ll draw this lawsuit out for as long as he can, promising that Danny won’t see his inheritance for at least another ten years. The US legal system is pretty screwy that way.

After the meeting, Danny sees Ward sneak off and make a call. Danny catches the tail end of Ward’s side of the conversation. He follows Ward to Harold’s secret lair. He’s blocked by the handprint scanner, and tries to scale the building. He makes it to the top, but is then shoved off the building when he tries to get into a window. Not a great end to a stressful week.

I know what their trying to do here. Every time Joy offers Danny compensation, he gets furious when she suggests that he also has to change his name. To Danny, the name of Rand is significantly more important than billions of dollars at stake. But, if that is the case, driving the price up when he gets an ace is pretty awful. Just saying. We did get to see some snippets of his training at K’un-Lun via flashback. It was intense training, involving beating a child with bamboo poles. So, for me, it’s not that surprising to see how serious he takes martial arts, and how he has little patience for those who take it lightly. He takes a snide student down by the ankles when said student mouths off one too many times.  Seeing that Harold is in pretty deep with the Hand is interesting. He’s legitimately scared of the group, doing their bidding nearly without question, and even kneeling in broken glass to reaffirm his loyalty. You don’t do that if for someone that unless they completely terrify you. This episode didn’t wow me, but it did intrigue me. I’m hoping to see more of the Iron Fist mythos, and a little more of the Hand next time. 

Viewer Log: Iron Fist ep 2

So, when we last left Danny, he was strapped into a hospital bed in a mental institution. Not a super great place to be. He’s greeted by an obviously sinister looking man in a lab coat. Things start out normally enough, until the supposed Doctor tells Danny that they only thing to do is commit suicide. He pulls a knife on Danny, but is stopped by a group of orderlies. They pull the supposed doctor, who’s actually a patient, off Danny, and force a few pills down his throat to keep him compliant.

Danny is not happy.

With the Meachums, Joy seems to still have doubts about putting Danny in the hospital, but Ward insists that it was the right thing. He uses the “if he is insane then he’ll get help, and if he is our friend he’ll still get the help he needs,” argument. Joy, who is surprisingly easy to manipulate, agrees. For now.

In the hospital, Danny has a few disjointed flashbacks, before fully awakening and meeting his real doctor. Said doctor, Paul Adams, does seem to genuinely want to help Danny. He even unstraps Danny as a sign of good faith. Danny then tells the Cliffs Notes version of his background, about crash landing in the Himalayas and being saved by a group of monks. Not going to lie, I can kind of see why someone might think Danny’s crazy after hearing that story. He humors Danny, a bit, but then brings up John Anderson. He points out that that is the name on Danny’s passport, claiming that this, logically is who he ‘really’ is.

A short time later, Danny is allowed out of bed and shown around the hospital, by the crazy guy that tried to kill him no less. He explains that the whole “mandatory 72 hours” observation doesn’t really work as the docs claim. He points out four or five other patients that were only supposed to be observed for three days, but all have been detained for several years. Not good. Another patient tries to attack Danny, he defends himself, but is also grabbed by orderlies and drugged up again. Shortly after, Crazy dude agrees to help Danny make a call. He gets in contact with Colleen and asks for her help. She kind of blows him off.

Ward visits his Dad. Harold had taken the liberty to wire Danny’s room and most of the mental hospital. He’s watching the footage, and curious about the monastery and the “Order of the Crane Mother.” Two things that his assistant says don’t exist. The plan is to watch and wait, and to hedge their bets, sends Ward to buy Colleen’s testimony.

Nothing sinister about this...

In the hospital, Danny tries to meditate. Unfortunately, the combination of drugs and his own turbulent emotions are keeping him from focusing his chi. When Dr. Adams returns, Danny does admit about lying with the passport. He bought a fake passport to get back into the states, so the obviously fake name of John Anderson is not him. He’s given another dose of drugs.

 At Colleen’s Dojo, Ward offers her a very attractive offer. He wants her to simply sign a document saying that she felt threatened by Danny when he approached her. And for that, he’ll donate a hefty sum to her dojo. She’s hesitant, so he gives her a few days to think it over.

Dr. Adams tries a different tactic with convincing Danny he’s crazy. He shows Danny an old Rand Enterprises commercial where the Rands and the Meachums appeared. He claims that Danny is simply latching onto a kid with a perfect life, to escape the problems of his own. Danny refuses to play along. He gives a story about how, after the commercial, they went to the circus. It was the ‘bribe’ his parents gave him to be in the commercial. When the doc tries to disagree, Danny flips out and trashes his office. Danny is once again taken away and given more drugs. He’s probably getting pretty tired with this shtick. Harold, who’d been watching, decides to go out. He tells his assistant to prep the car.

Adams decides to check Danny’s story, via Joy. He calls Ms. Meachum, and asks if she remembered the day of the commercial. She confirms the circus story, which shocks the Doc. In Danny’s room, Harold arrives. While Danny is high out of his mind, he asks about Danny’s time in the mountains. He also sings Danny Boy, to annoy Danny? I guess… Danny tells him about the monastery, K’un-Lun, and that he is the Iron Fist. And that he’s sworn enemy of the Hand. Harold leaves, and tells his assistant to look up Iron Fist. Upon returning to his apartment, he finds a message scrawled on one of his windows, “Where did you go?” with a hand symbol.

Joy, possibly motivated by Adams call, has her assistant messanger a bag of M&M’s to Danny. Not sure why. Ward goes again to Colleen, and offers her 50,000 for her testimony. Danny get’s the bag of M&M’s, opens it, and starts sorting through them for some reason. Colleen visits him, learn that he’s claiming to be Danny Rand, and agrees to give a message to Joy.

At Joy’s office, Colleen drops off Danny’s package with Joy. She pours out the bag on her desk and makes a shocking discovery, that Danny returned all but the brown M&M’s. She’s now convinced that Danny is who he says he is, because when they were kids that was the one kind of M&M’s they didn’t eat.

How Danny got his grove back.

Adams does another follow up with Danny. He’s rather shocked to see that Danny has gotten all right answers again, and wants to hear Danny’s explanation about where he’s been again. That’s when things veer into crazy again. Danny explains that he was at the K’un-Lun monastery, which exists in another dimension, but crosses over into their dimension every 15 years. On the one hand, I can see why this story might seem crazy. On the other, YOU LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE THE HULK EXISTS! Keep an open mind. To be fair, Adams does give Danny the benefit of the doubt and asks him to show that he has superpowers. Unfortunately, Danny is the first Marvel character that actually has to focus to use his powers. The drugs he’s on is keeping him from focusing his chi, so no Iron Fist punch from Danny.

Harold is growing more frustrated about not getting any information about Danny’s monastery or the Iron Fist. He calls Ward, his name on Ward’s phone is the incredibly on the nose pseudonym Frank N. Stein, and tells him to move Danny ASAP. Ward complies… sort of. He has Danny moved, into a padded cell with payed thugs waiting. The mental patients lay the smack down on Danny, but I guess the fight allows Danny to find his center and beat them back. After that, he’s able to focus his chi enough for an Iron Fist punch and finally escape.

Okay, so this episode is not super great. There are a lot of rather… questionable choices in this one. On the one hand, a superhero spending time in a mental hospital is kind of interesting. Particularly one like Danny, who does need to focus to use his powers. With the combination of drug induced delirium, and being unable to use his powers, would make even someone like Danny believe that he might not have superpowers. This is really the only character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe where the premise works, and they really don’t do anything with it. He’s just in the hospital for a bit, and then escapes. I will say, that I did like Dr. Adams, he’s the classic guy doing the wrong things for the right reasons situation. While you’re mad at him for not believing in Danny, you do get a sense that he’s actually concerned for Danny and is trying to help him. Also, how Joy “finds out” that Danny is who he is, is rather idiotic. If you’re going to do the ‘thing that only we do’ thing, at least pick a candy that it makes sense to sort one out. Brown M&M’s are still M&M’s, they taste the same, so it’s wasting candy to not eat them. At least make it skittles or something. The Iron Fist effect looks pretty cool though, so there’s that. So an insteresing concept, but not the best episode. It’s a shame, really.

Viewer Log: Iron Fist ep 1

Hey all, it’s Michael T. Johnson, your Basic Superhero back again after a bit of an absence. Don’t think I’ve been resting on my haunches, I’ve been prepping my next viewer log series. But, somehow, I think Iron Fist needs a little more love then my next viewer log series. Before I start on the meat of this show, I will say that I am NOT going into the controversy around the casting choices of Iron Fist. That’s for people that are better educated, or more accurately more interested, in the subject of racial inequality. I’m here to talk about Superheroes. Let’s get to it.

Shabby Rand.

We open to a shabby looking young man walking around barefoot in Manhattan. This is Danny Rand, he’s back in town after being believed dead for fifteen years. He heads for the Rand Enterprises building, somehow expecting a warm welcome. He asks the front desk lady to get him in contact with Harold Meachum, his father’s former partner. She nods, and Danny believes the obvious lie that she’ get in contact with him. A moment later, the security staff of RE forcefully toss Danny from the building. Not one to be deterred, Danny tries to sneak in. They catch him, but are taken out by Danny’s superior martial arts skills. He knocks the guys around, and makes it to the elevator. Unfortunately, he can’t get it to work. Thankfully, a business woman arrives a moment later and show that you need a special pass to get the elevator to run. Because she apparently has no peripheral vision, Danny is able to use her pass and goes for the top floor.

He makes it to the top floor, but doesn’t meet Harold in the executive office. Instead, he meets Ward and Joy Meachum, his former childhood friends and current directors of RE. Neither believe that Danny is who he says he is. Not surprising, really. They do let him know that Harold died almost fifteen years-ago. For some reason.  Why would you tell the person you think is insane about family history? The security team arrives and force Danny out. On the elevator ride, he has a flashback to the plane crash. It was rather traumatic, as his mother was sucked out of the plane before crashing. After being thrown out on the street, again, Danny starts exploring town. He goes back to his old house, and tries to get inside. When the old hide-a-key doesn’t work, he uses his ninja skills to climb the fire escape. Inside, he learns that Joy is the current occupant. While exploring this strange but familiar home, he flashes back again. He and the Meachums played monopoly on the roof. Ward is a dick then, shocking, I know. Joy gets home, and just barely misses Danny.

That night, Danny finds a nice tree to camp out next to. He meets Big Al, a local homeless man. Al offers to look stuff up online for Danny, using an Iphone he ‘acquired.’ Al looks up Harold Meachum and Danny Rand, and confirms to Danny that they’re both believed dead. Al let’s Danny where he could go to get some free shoes, and spouts some insanity. Danny is as kind as he can be, and realizes that he has been coming across as a crazy person.

Not the best way to wake up.

The next day, he approaches Joy again. He tries to get her to listen but she’s still not willing to listen. He runs off when Joy threatens to call the cops, and is nearly run over by a taxi. Danny leaps over it, and keeps running. He goes to central park again, and starts doing some martial arts katas to meditate. A passing woman, Colleen Wiig, believes he’s some kind of street performer and gives him some money. He tries to return it, and notes that she’s hanging posters for Martial Arts lessons. He tries to see if she’ll give him a job, but she obviously thinks he’s insane and blows him off.

With the Meachums, Joy tells her brother about her latest encounter with Danny. She wants to talk to Danny, just to know for sure if maybe, just maybe, he isn’t insane. Ward blows it off, thinking it’s a setup to screw with RE’s latest business dealings. A few hours later, Danny hops into Ward’s car and kind of kidnaps Ward. He tries to get him to listen, and is a little “aggravated” that no one is willing to hear him out. Danny disarms Ward when he pulls a gun, and demands to know whatever Ward knows about the plane crash. Ward only tells him what Danny already knows, further frustrating him. When Danny goes to leave, Ward promises that this isn’t over. To which Danny replies, “Oh, I know.” In the park, Danny runs into Al again. He gives Danny some food he scrounged, and lets Danny know a little about his world view. Al blames all of life’s problems on people abandoning the hunter-gatherer system. Not crazy at all.

Danny tracks down Colleen again, at her Dojo. He wants to challenge the Dojo’s master, but Colleen isn’t interested in fighting. Danny again asks for a job, but she turns him down when he claims he was trained in K’un-Lun. Not because she knows anything about it, but because once again, Danny comes across as crazy. When Danny goes to leave, she does give him some ratty old shoes. What a nice lady. Outside, Danny is attacked by goons. He beats the snot out of one of them, and sees they’re the security team from RE. He makes a run for it, with the security goons, and Colleen with her sword, not far behind. He escapes to Chinatown, where they’re throwing Chinese New Year. Maybe. Danny takes all the goons out, and forces one of the guards to let him know the obvious, that Ward sent the guys to take him out.

Sad we won't see this costume this season.

Ward, upon learning of the failure of his men, calls someone. He tells the guy that they have a situation, and is forced to meet his confidant. It’s revealed that the man on the other end of the call is Harold Meachum, very much alive and living in a penthouse. Harold isn’t so dismissive of Danny’s story, and wants to know if Danny’s really who he says he is, and where the heck he’s been.

At around the same time, Danny runs into Al again. Sadly, Al seems to have OD on heroin. Danny covers him with his coat, and says a little prayer over the poor homeless man. The following morning, Danny sneaks into RE again and goes to Joy’s office. He tells her about Ward’s attempt on his life, but she’s not completely willing to believe that. She does let him tell his story over tea. He starts the story, but starts passing out. Joy drugged the tea, obviously. He walks up in a mental hospital chained to a bed. Sad way to end this first episode.

I liked this first episode. It’s a bit of a slower burn then Daredevil, Jessica Jones, or Luke Cage. It’s a good ten to fifteen minutes before we see some of Danny’s martial arts skills, and nothing of his legendary/titular Iron Fist. I will say that it’s pretty insane that Danny seemed to think that his plan to just walk into Rand Enterprises and be welcomed back. You’ve been gone fifteen years; Bruce Wayne was missing for half that time in Batman: Begins and believed dead. Just saying. It was rather surprising to see the narrator guy from 300 as Harold Meachum. Didn’t seen that coming. Also, didn’t see the whole “ending in a mental ward,” thing come either. It’s been a rough week back home, eh, Danny? Hope he’ll be free soon, smacking some evil Ninja’s around. See you next time, folks. 

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Review: Logan

Nearly twenty years ago, we were given the gift of X-Men, not the best superhero movie, but the one that really got the ball rolling. It stared the amazing Patrick Stewart, the equally amazing Ian McKellan, and the Australian national treasure Hugh Jackman. These guys would continue to bless the silver screen as Professor Xavier, Magneto, and Wolverine with some regularity for the next 17 years. But, like all things, it has to come to an end. Let’s get to it.

He's ready for his last ride.

Logan opens to Logan waking up in the back of his limo. No, the Wolverine hasn’t struck it rich and is living it up, that’s his day job now. Driving a limo in Houston. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. He had been awakened by some stupid gangsters that tried to steal his limo’s tires. He tries to talk them down, gets shot and smacked around, and then slaughters the imbeciles with his claws. After that, he goes back to doing his day job, chauffeuring people around, picking up drugs, and chauffeuring some more. We learn on the radio that it’s currently 2029, mutants are pretty much extinct, and the X-Men are a footnote in American history. Wolverine is currently going by his birth name of James Howlett as his alias. So, things aren’t super great. While waiting around for a funeral that a client is attending to end, he’s approached by a woman. She wants to pay the Wolverine for a job. Logan isn’t interested and angrily brushes her off. When she drives by, he notices a little girl in the woman’s back seat, starring at him. Nothing ominous about that.

After work, he picks up some ‘off the books’ pills, and meets another weirdo. This weirdo, Donald Pierce, is looking for the woman, Gabriella, and somethings she stole from him. He’s a Reaver, a group of cybernetically enhanced soldiers. He basically but subtly demands that Logan contact him if he runs into Gabriela again. Nothing ominous about that. Oh, and to prove he’s serious, Pierce hints at knowing about what Logan has hidden out across the border in Mexico.

 Logan, visibly shaken, drives across the border to check on his little secret. In the middle of a desert, in an abandoned factory of some kind, is where the legendary Charles Xavier now resides. He’s suffering from a pretty severe mental disorder, dementia I believe, and spends most of his days in a drug induced delirium. He’s looked after by Logan, and one of the few remaining Mutants, Caliban. They’re trying to keep Charles comfortable, which is made difficult by Charles’ failing health, and the fact that whenever he has a seizure, he fires off telepathic blasts that cripple anyone nearby. Also, not good.

She's got her daddy's primal, uncontrollable rage.

So, in general, everything is not good. Things are made worse by the fact Logan is visibly ageing, and his body isn’t healing like it used to. Two things that should not be happening. He’s trying to get together funds to take Charles off on a boat, to spend his final days, but money is tight. He’s contacted by Gabriella again, who offers him a sizable reward for getting her and her charge, a girl name Laura, across the US to North Dakota, to a place called Eden. He initially refuses, but goes back since the money is really important. Unfortunately, Pierce and his cronies had tracked Gabriela down, killed her and disappeared. Logan pockets the cash, and her cell phone, before leaving.

Upon returning to the compound, Logan and Caliban discover Laura, whom had stowed away in the back of the limo. Charles is overjoyed to see her, claiming Laura is a “New Mutant” the first in ages. Logan is unconvinced. Pierce shows up a few minutes later, demanding Laura. He’s knocked out, by Laura, and Logan forces Caliban to drop him off somewhere. This doesn’t work out, and Pierce returns shortly with a group of Reavers and the Mexican police. They hold Charles at gun point to keep Logan at bay and go after Laura. That’s when the little girl shows her claws, literally. Laura slaughters the group, later joined by Wolverine, and the trio bid a hasty retreat.

Logan reluctantly agrees to take Laura to Eden. They’re able to get a video off of Gabriela’s phone, explaining the situation. Laura was created by Transigen, a genetics company. They used young Mexican girls and DNA acquired from different mutants to breed Mutant soldiers/assassins. Gabriela went along with this for 10 years, but decided to help the children escape when project X-23 was deemed a failure and they began project X-24. She and the children were separated, except for Laura, but all knew to go for Eden. She also claims Laura is Logan’s ‘daughter.’ An oversimplification, but not completely wrong.

Time is cruel. Plain and simple.

They travel through Oklahoma City, where Logan makes a stunning realization. The X-Men comics exist in this universe! He doesn’t really seem to bat an eye at this, shockingly. Oh, and that one of the comic’s Laura brought with has a reference to Eden and the coordinates that they’re going towards. Not good. He’s obviously infuriated by this, but agrees to continue on. He swaps out his broken limo for cash and picks up a new car. While he’s out, the Reavers track them down. They kept Caliban alive, he’s got tracking powers, and are using him to follow the crew. Thankfully, Caliban has been… slow with giving the Reavers’ updates so they can stay a few steps ahead. But, also sort of thankfully, Charles has another stroke. His psychic blasts keep everyone stunned long enough for Charles to kill the assembled Reavers and then get Charles’ his pills. They make a run for it while everyone else is recovering.

While on the road again, they meet up with and help out a local family, the Munsons. Despite Logan’s protests, they have dinner with the family whom also put them up for the night. Logan is pulled away to help Mr. Will Munson with some problems with the local big farming conglomerate. While he was out, Transigen’s top scientist Zander Rice releases a new weapon. In his room, Xavier awakens to Logan standing over him. Xavier admits that this was the best night’s sleep he’s had in years. And that he doesn’t deserve it. They’ve hinted at, but never showed, that the previous year Xavier had his first seizure. The result of which injured several hundred civilians and the death of some unnamed X-Men. Hence why Charles was taken out into the desert. It’s then revealed that he hadn’t been talking with Logan, but Rice’s new weapon, X-24. It’s a clone of Wolverine that they can control remotely. Not good. X-24 mortally wounds Charles, mows down the Munsons, captures Laura, and then murders some locals. Logan and X-24 duke it out. The Mutant Weapon nearly kills Wolverine, as it is younger and stronger, but is stopped by Will, who rams it into a thresher. Caliban kills himself via grenade to remove himself from the equation and hamper Transigen’s efforts to track the two.  Logan and Laura make a run for it. They bury Charles in the woods. Logan freaks out a little, and then passes out.

Props for avoiding the obvious
"I'm too old for this #$%^" joke.

Laura is able to get Logan into a truck and takes him to a local doctor. The doctor tells Logan that he’s dying and that he wants to run some tests to see if he can help Logan. But Logan isn’t interested. He knows what’s killing him. It’s more implied then anything, but Logan is dying because of his Adamantium Skeleton. The metal is poisoning him, and his extreme age is keeping his healing factor from keeping him together anymore. So sad.

Logan tries to convince Laura to give up on Eden, but the little girl refuses. Takes after her sort-of-dad. She also speaks for the first time, demanding that they see this through. She and Logan make it to the coordinates, where they meet up with the other escaped X-23 kids. They’re planning to run to Canada, to start a new life. Logan and Laura say goodbye, bitterly as Howlett’s do. The next day, Logan awakens to see the kids gone, but the Reavers in hot pursuit. Logan gears up for his last ride.

The good. This is without a doubt the best sendoff that Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart’s versions of Logan and Xavier could have asked for. It was a dark, gritty and bittersweet ending to their respective stories. Seeing Charles’, and to a lesser extent Logan, dealing with their respective ages. Rice puts it best in a scene with Caliban, a degenerative brain disease in the most powerful brain in the world. Yeah, that’s a horrible combination. And, the revelation that the X-Men are no more due in part to one of Charles’ seizures, is just heartbreaking. Logan has some great moments too. We see all the scars he’s gathered in the last few years, the fact he has a pretty severe limp, and the fact his claws don’t always extend like he wants to. All little moments, but clear signs that Logan is just barely hanging on. Dafne Keen as Laura/X-23 was pretty darn good to. She’s mute for the firsts 2/3 of the film, which was pretty smart. Child acting is best when viewed in… snippets. Her screams of primal fury do Jackman proud. Stephen Merchant as Caliban was surprisingly interesting too. Caliban is a minor character in the X-Men universe that has the power to track Mutants. Like Logan, he’s over taxed looking after Charles, and while he was never an X-Men, clearly has respect for both former X-Men. So yeah, a great all around main cast.

So it all ends.

The negative is there, but thankfully less glaring then other X-Men films. The villains are cool looking, but are pretty generic. Best exemplified by Pierce, he’s got this awesome robot hand, but really just stands around looking smug for most of the film. Rice is introduced halfway through the film, and has his motivation pretty rushed. He wants to weaponize mutants because evil. He has a history with Logan, as Logan murdered Rice’s father when he escaped the Weapon X facility. That sort of thing. Cool ideas, but they’re not really show off that well. Also, this story has a lot of telling not showing. We’re told about Xavier possibly killing most of the X-Men with his first seizure. We’re told about Mutant’s going the way of the dinosaurs. We’re told how most of the worlds current problems can be traced back to Dr. Rice and his experiments. Dick. All big things, all cool sounding, but not really explored.

Overall, this is an A- movie. It has a stellar cast, decent effects, and a pretty decent plot. The fact that the villains are a little lackluster and that they fell into the trap of tell don’t show do hamper it slightly. I remember reading a comment that sums up the Wolverine movie franchise pretty well. The Wolverine trilogy is the only franchise in history that started with complete, utter horse *#$^ and ended with a quality film. Which is true, this was pretty much the polar opposite of the original X-Men movies. Movie one, X-Men Origins: Wolverine was a painful slog that was soooo bad it killed the Origins film series idea before it even got started. Movie two, Wolverine, was a decent film that gave us a decent story and an impressive Wolverine. And now, Logan is a heck of an ending for Wolverine. Mr. Jackman, Sir Stewart, its’s been an honor. 

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/37/Logan_2017_poster.jpg

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Viewer Log: Voltron ep 24

When we left our heroes, they had finally gotten Zarkon up against a wall. The evil Emperor’s warship is dead in space, no weapons, no communications, no robotic drones, and the entirety of the Gulra fleet is somewhere on the other side of the universe. And since the Gulra don't have access to a Teladuv or similar super-faster then light means of travel, the fleet won't be meeting up with their Emperor any time soon. So, this will be a quick clean up mission, right? Ah ha haha haha ha. Of course, not. Let’s get to it.

Yep, that's a bad guy entrance.
Purple lighting, evil music, and all!

The Paladins have 20 minutes to completely cripple the warship, by destroying the ship’s bridge, engines, main weapons, and shield generator. If they can do that, then they’ll have taken out the biggest threat to peace in the known universe. If they can’t, the Warship, and all of Zarkon’s drone army, will come back online. I probably don’t have to say this, but it is much, much harder to destroy an active warship then a disabled one. So they need to work fast. They form the supersized Leo Saber, and get to work on the engines.

Within the ship, Zarkon is kind of flipping out. He orders his minions get the ship up and running as quickly as possible. I’m guessing that Haggar and her Druids are biting their tongues to avoid shouting ‘I told you so!’ Haggar, instead, suggests that they use the Komar on Voltron. Remember that thing, Haggar and four Druids float in a circle, and use their magic powers to suck planets dry of quintessence, the life-energy of this universe.  It was kind of important in season 1 when they were draining planets, but for whatever reason they haven't talked about it for a while. I don’t think I used the name before, but it’s called the Komar.. Not sure if that’s the ritual, or the giant crystals the Druids use for the energy sucking. Apparently, she and the Druids can use the Komar to drain Voltron of power. Zarkon isn’t interested, probably due to the risk it might posse to Voltron, and orders her stay out of it. He plans to fight Voltron personally. Unlike the last season finale, however, he wants to go toe to toe with the big Lion-Bot and decides to unveil a new toy. An engineer argues against it, as Zarkon’s ‘Armor’ hasn’t been tested yet. He doesn’t care, smacks the engineer, and tells them to finish prepping it. This alien-emperor has an almost pathological need to avoid advice, doesn't he? While Zarkon prepares to fight, Haggar, who has noticed that her boss’s decision making skills have been poor of late, prepares to drain Zarkon.

If Sci-Fi has taught me anything, it's stay
away from black balls of energy.

The Paladins are able to destroy the Warship’s engines while the villains prep. They go for Bridge, where Haggar is waiting. She and the Druids activate the Komar. It forms a giant black vortex and hits Voltron. The giant fighting robot is completely drained of quintessence, and the Paladins are knocked unconscious as well. In the Castle, Kolivan, the leader of the Blade of Marmora, explains what happened to the assembled group. Allura and Coran understandably freak out with the prospect that their team/friends might have just had the life sucked out of them. Thankfully, Allura is able to make contact with the Paladins a moment later. While physically exhausted and their Lions without power, the team is alright. That is until they see Zarkon’s Armor. The Armor is a colossal version of Zarkon. They’re really driving the Lucifer/Fallen Angel motif with him. What? His custom built Robeast has giant bat-like wings. The first three things that jump to mind when I see wings like that are Bats, Dragons and Demons. Just saying. When Zarkon activates it, he releases a psychic wave that cause Shiro physical pain. Wow, this bad situation is only made worse by the Lions still being down. Allura, realizing how dire the situation is, orders Coran to divert all available power to the Castle’s main laser. She encourages the Paladins to use their bond with their Lions to revive them, as she hits Zarkon with a full power blast. It knocks the despot back, but the defenses of his Armor his impressive, he’s able to take the full power blast and refract it back at the Castle. The Castle-ship is critically damaged. After witnessing the possible deaths of all their allies, Shiro gives an impassioned speech, the team is able to reawake Voltron, and they charge. Zarkon also charges, announcing that he will now “Take back what is mine!”

The team fights an elaborate duel with Zarkon, using all their weapons on the mad Emperor. Unfortunately, Zarkon’s Armor is able to take each hit and keep swinging. Even more unfortunately, Haggar and her Druids have recovered and reactivated the Komar. So now the team has to fight Zarkon while simultaneously dogging the black-energy sucking tendrils. Not a great situation.

Unstoppable force, meet immovable object.

In the Castle, Allura, Coran and co reawaken. The Castle has taken some serious damage, but Coran is hopeful he can get things running again. Being forced to watch Voltron fight two major opponents on two fronts, Allura decides to do something about it. Allura orders Coran and Slav do what they can to repair the ship, and that Kolivan and his lieutenant Antok come with her. While Voltron fights Zarkon, Allura plans to fight Haggar. You go, Princess. The Paladins barely keep Zarkon at bay while Allura and co make their raid. They quickly disable the Komar, and go about taking out each Druid, to make sure they can’t reenergize it later. I’d argue disabling/killing one Druid was probably enough, given that four lesser Druids and Haggar are necessary to activate it, but I suppose this is a better safe than sorry situation.

Zarkon is able to get the upper hand, and uses his extendable chain-blade to break Voltron into its individual lions. Shiro is also knocked out. The other four Paladins are forced to fight Zarkon to keep him at bay. Shiro, for goodness sake, stay conscious during a fight! Allura and her raiding party are able to take out three of the five assembled Druids, and only suffer the loss of Antok. They treat it like a major loss, but seriously, I think he’s in like two scenes. Antok was the one that noticed Keith’s BoM, and then just really stood behind Kolivan, looking intimidating. Can’t really feel emotional weight with this one. Now, if they killed off Coran… no, no, no, not going to put that out into the universe. Nobody touch Coran.

In your eyes. The light, the heat. In your eyes. I am complete.
Probably not what Peter Gabriel meant when he wrote that...

In space, Shiro awakens, sees his friends battling, and that Black has revealed his Bayard port. This helps Shiro rally. He charges, remembering every moment he spent with Black Lion, fully connecting with Lion. It allows him to fully extend Black Lion’s wings, and somehow snatch his Bayard from Zarkon when they collide. The team forms Voltron, and prepares for their last assault.

Allura fights Haggar personally. Allura shows off some impressive staff skills as she trades blows with Haggar. Despite the witch’s speed and magic purple lightning, Allura’s able to get several good hits in. She’s able to knock the witch aside, revealing her full head for the first time. Allura’s shocked to see that Haggar is in fact Altean. The pointy ears, and purple marks on her cheeks are kind of a dead giveaway. Though she’s not as shocked as Haggar is when, somehow, the Princess is able to suck up the magic energy that Haggar fires at her. It’s not expressly stated, but since previous episodes have implied that Allura has mystic powers even surpassing her legendary father, I guess that potential is what let her absorb and purify the evil energies that Haggar commands. Or something. Either way, she channels these new powers to destroy the Komar. Haggar flees. Teleportation is such a useful power.

Haggar, you're about to get rocked by a Princess.

Power returns to both ships, the Paladins are down to the wire. The slam into Zarkon, sticking him with the Leo Saber, but the evil Emperor isn’t out yet. He grabs Voltron’s head and starts electrocuting them. At that moment, Black’s Bayard port starts flashing. Shiro slams his Bayard in, supercharging the Leo Saber. Zarkon’s Armor is blow to smithereens, but Voltron is caught in the blast and forcibly separated. The team recovers in a few seconds, except for Shiro. Makes sense since 90% of the explosion was focused on him. The others grab Shiro, make for the ship, and they all warp away. Hooray!

For those who don’t want the cliffhanger portion spoiled, I’m going to gray out the next paragraph. Just highlight it if you want to know what happens in the last minute. Once inside the Castle, the team runs to the Black Lion. They all climb aboard to find… nothing. The cockpit is empty, with absolutely no sign of Shiro. Where has their steadfast leader gone? With the bad guys, Zarkon is revealed to be alive. Kind of. He suffered major injuries in the explosion, is apparently in a coma, and hooked up to life support. So, really, just alive in the most technical of senses. Since he can’t 1. Sit up, or 2. Take nourishment, being alive isn’t all that great. At least, I wouldn’t want to be in that state. Haggar leaves her Emperor to his treatment, and Haggar orders that someone summon Price Lotor. Had to reveal that last one, since I’ll be discussing it in the conclusion.

Yeah, that's the face of someone down, but far from out.

Well, that was a heck of a ride. The tension is high from the beginning to the end, the music is perfect, and the visuals stunning. I’m not usually a fan of mixing more traditional animation with CGI, but the Dreamswork’s team did a great job with it. My complaint of the last season finale was that it felt like any other episode in terms of the ending. It just kind of stopped, with few if any resolutions. This time, it actually feels like a proper resolution. The team takes on the ultimate big bad, fights hard and is finally able to stop him. Zarkon really pulled out all the stops with this one. His Armor is an intimidating final boss for the team to take on. The combination of the demonic/fallen angel motif with Zarkon’s apparent preferred weapon, his extendable chain-blade, makes for a great fight. Though, personally, I do find myself wondering why he needs Voltron back when his Armor is so impressive. Just saying. And, this is a minor victory considering the losses they’ve incurred, and with the audience learning that while the Gulra are down they are most certainly not out. I shouldn’t sell them too short. Taking the Black Bayard and defeating Zarkon in battle is important. Losing their 10,000-year-old, apparently invincible Emperor will be a major blow to the moral of the majority of the Gulra empire. I imagine Varkon is sobbing at the Space Mall. But, Haggar is still active, which is a major plus for the baddies, and whomever this Lotor is, he’ll most likely serve as a figure head if nothing else. But, if he’s anything like his, I’m assuming, father, I imagine Lotor will be a challenge all on his own. FYI, I’m only confident enough to ‘assume’ that Lotor is Zarkon’s son. Sure, if he’s the Prince then it implies he’s Zarkon’s son. But, given Zarkon’s 10,000 year-long reign, I somehow doubt that Zarkon’s direct children could still be alive. Unless Lotor has also gotten vague Immortality from Quintessence-injections, too. I suppose that could work, but ol Zarky didn't strike me as the type to share such gifts, even with his own children. I know it sounds nuts, but I think Zarkon might be very selfish. Oh, it's been a while since Sarcasm hurt like that.

They also revealed some interesting new plot threads, like the bit I mentioned in the greyed-out paragraph, and the reveal of Haggar’s race. That second point certainly puts Prorock’s comments last season into context. He didn’t just hate Haggar for being a witch, and being Zarkon’s preferred advisor, but for not even being a Gulra. I imagine it’d be as hard for Prorock as a Gulra to trust an Altean as it was for Allure to trust Keith after his Gulra heritage was revealed. It does make me wonder a little more about the crazy old gal’s past, and what lead her to ally with the people that wiped out her species. Plot points for season three.  Finally, I will say, while it doesn’t completely make up for the missed opportunity of episode 22, watching Allura personally take on Haggar was pretty awesome. Sure, Zarkon is the primary threat, but Haggar is easily the second biggest threat in the universe. And Allura is more-or-less taking her one with a bo-staff. That’s about as awesome a character moment that someone can get. So, with all of that in mind, it’s very safe to say the fight is far from over. In summation, my goodness gracious I love this series and hope that season 3 comes out as fast as season 2. Fingers and toes crossed. High fives, thumbs up, and A+’s all around. Now that we’ve finished up Voltron season 2, we’ll cover the end of an Era. Next time, Logan. Cue Johnny Cash music.