Viewer Log: X-Men: Evolution ep 31

 It's search and rescue time. 

Last time on X-Men: Evolution, the X-Men and their new Brotherhood boys plus Wanda faced off against Magneto and his Acolytes. They were able to hold their own against Colossus, Gambit, Pyro and Sabretooth, but were no prepared for Magneto’s masterstroke. He forced them down into the lab of Bolivar Trask, and when the human supremacist unleashed his Sentinel, pulled both X-Men and Machine into the light. News copters and the military are brought in, and Mutants are revealed to the world. Unfortunately for Magneto, Scarlet Witch catches up to him and in their struggle, he’s crushed by the destroyed Sentinel. At the same time, Mystique set the X-Mansion to blow. While the building did come down, Scott was able to get the New Mutants into the Cerebro core, saving them. He is rightly pissed and starts attacking the culprit… Charles Xavier? No, not really, Mystique has been playing him for the last few weeks. Enough recap, let’s get to it, shall we?

 

Seems like a heavy response to, for all they know,
just a blown up building.

Cyclops reveals to the group what he saw on the security tape, Mystique setting DefCon4 and then shapeshifting back into Charles as he walks away. The X-Men demand to know where the Prof is, but Mystique’s not talking. Worse, she’s somehow blocking Jean’s attempt at reading her thoughts, so they can’t pull the answer from her. Their exchange of information is interrupted by the arrival of the police and military. The X-Men, New Mutants and Brotherhood scatter. Berserker fries some cars with electricity, Multiple gets grabbed, but clones himself and gets away, Bobby freezes, and so on. They actually get Jean into a cop car, but Kurt teleports into the driver seat, driving off, but grabbing Kitty and Bobby on the way out. They almost run into a roadblock, but Jean lifts them up and over. Scott almost gets grabbed, but Storm flies down and gets him. They scatter, but Scott tells Jean telepathically to meet up at the lookout.

 

We’re shown a quick flash of news reports. Kitty, Jean and Evan have been identified, people are in a panic about the “Mutant menace” and tensions are running high as people deal with the idea that they’re sharing the world with Homo Superior. … Is that the actual classification of Mutants in the Marvel universe, or is Magneto being a dick? Whatever. Meanwhile, the New Mutants make for manhole cover, Berserker telling them that he knows a place they can hide.

 

Oh, hey Nick.

Storm, Scott, Kurt, Kitty, Jean, and Bobby meet up at the lookout, with Mystique, Wanda, Toad and Lance joining a moment later. They want to know why the Brotherhood followed them, to which Mystique says is obvious, Blob was taken and she wants him back. She also reveals she had no idea what Magneto had been planning, and didn’t have a hand in outing all of them. They don’t have any leads on where the Mutants are being held. Thankfully, Fury shows up and has an idea. Mystique threatens him to leave or die, but Fury brought a firing squad, just to ensure everyone plays nice. He gives the X-Men a PDA with the schematics and maps of the facility where the Mutants are being held. He can’t get involved officially, but is willing to help them this much. He says it’s for his own reasons, but I think he owes Logan a solid. Storm tries to coordinate the teams, but Mystique is a control freak. The two Matriarchs of Mutants butt heads, but Storm backs down because Mystique still has the Professor X card. Mystique wants to confirm Magneto is definitely dead, so sends Toad to confirm, Wanda coming along as well to confirm her father’s demise. Everyone else is going to free their teammates. They steal back the Velocity from military custody by using Jean’s telekinesis and head out. As they fly out, they realize they’re headed to Area 51. I wonder if they’ll run into any Shi’ar or Phalanx there… They don’t, but it’d have been neat.

 

In New York, Toad and Wanda see police removing the Sentinel’s body from the roof. There aren’t any bloody remains, so Wanda is reasonably certain her father is alive, and is furious they have no leads. Toad notices a news trucks and suggests getting info from there. They break into the van and look over yesterday’s news. The national news got some great shots of the fight. They find the moment when the Sentinel dropped, and Toad is pretty convinced he was squished… squashed? Splattered. Wanda has him slow it way down, and they see that Pietro recovered and super-speeded pops out of there before the robot hit. Wanda is obviously pissed that he got away again.

 

Meanwhile, Berserker leads the New Mutants through the sewars. They’re met by a tall albino Mutant. He goes unnamed here, but he’s Caliban, member of the Morlocks. For those who haven’t heard that name before, they’re a group of Mutant’s whose X-Genes cause them to have physical abnormalities that make it impossible for them to pass for humans. Berserker introduces himself and the others to Caliban, who offers them sanctuary.

 

At Area 51, Mystique flies into the building in bird form, takes on the form of a guard and take over the security cameras. She deactivates the electric fencing and letting the X-Men and Brotherhood into the facility. Everyone but Storm who is manning the Velocity.

 

Deep in the lab of Area 51, most of the Mutants have been broken free of the goo and in holding cells. They’re still working on Blob. They have Logan strapped to a lab table and are interrogating him. Logan is as helpful as you’d imagine.

 

The team split in two, with Bobby and Kitty splitting off to shut down the alarms. Their plan is slightly derailed when the guard Mystique mislead to get him out of the security office comes back. She has to handle him and can’t disable the motion sensors. Bobby uses his most iconic trick, making an Ice bridge, over the floor to get them to the circuit breaker. Bobby cuts the right wire, but gets cocky, spins his wire cutters a bit too haphazardly and sets off the motion sensors. Well, that ends the stealth portion. Jean, Lance, Scott and Kurt get cornered but escape thanks to Jean’s marvelous mind. They run into Mystique, who grabs Kurt to free the others, and has the other three hold off the guards.

 

Did Mystique forget she can shapeshift into a snake?

As alarms are blaring in the lab, the guards stop paying attention to Logan. He signals Evan, who launches a spike through an airhole in his cell, breaking Logan’s cuff and allowing him to get free. He quickly starts wrecking the place, freeing Evan and telling our young Spyke to free the others while Logan holds off the army. Evan does so, but Blob frees himself after they chip off enough of the goo. They get all the guards into the cell that was holding Blob and lock it down tight. Kurt and Mystique arrive, much to Logan’s fury, but Mystique tells them its time to run. The teams reconnect, with Lance told to bury the guards when they keep coming.  Thankfully, Jean is fast enough with telekinesis to move them aside before he does. The exits start getting sealed, but Bobby and Kitty find a roof hatch that’s still open. Everyone is able to climb up, even Blob who gets a phasing assist from Kitty, except Mystique. Scott, seeing an opportunity, drops the security gate and tells her he’ll free her when she reveals where Xavier is. Mystique calls his bluff, stalling for time until, in a surprisingly cold blooded move, Scott seals the exit, leaving her there. Damn, Summers, didn’t think you had it in you. Lance and Scott almost get into a fist fight, I sometimes forget how loyal Lance is to Mystique, but Jean has them break it up as their ride is leaving. They get on the Velocity, are chased by helicopters and stealth bombers, but are able to hold them off long enough to get away.

 

After, both the Brotherhood house and X-Mansion remains are under surveillance. Toad breaks into the house to steal supplies, but only ends up stealing clothes for Wanda. If there are any young men reading my work… don’t ever try the forceful flirting tactic, it never works.

 

The X-Men are still in hiding at the lookout. They don’t have many options and are in general depressed. Scott is beating himself up for leaving Mystique, as his attempt to play hardball cost them their only chance at finding Xavier swiftly. Logan tells him not to sweat it, as he’d have done it if Scott hadn’t. Storm sums up their situation best, their secret is out and they have to both find the Professor and convince humanity at large that they’re not the enemy. Before it’s too late. Well, that’s an ominous not to end on.

 

This was a solid start to the third season. The Mutants are still on the run, having to work with their enemies to free their friends. We’re just seeing the hints of the social issues they’ll be dealing with in this and the fourth season, with Humanity still reeling at the reveal of the Mutant species. Things will continue to simmer for a bit before they start boiling over, but suffice to say, there’s no reset button for them. Scott actually trying to play hardball with Mystique sure was a surprise. Mr. Summers was, at the time, not known for using threats to get his way. And it bit him on the ass, which was also surprising. I also gotta give the show props for how they decided to remove the New Mutants from the story. Obviously, the larger cast would have complicated this plot more than was necessary, so they used the opportunity to introduce one of the most famous X-Men adjacent groups, the Morlocks. As I said before, they’re a group of Mutants who have obvious physical abnormalities that make hiding impossible. Caliban is one of the more human appearing members, and his bald head, pale skin and, in this version, hissing way of speaking heavily imply his non-human status. They’ll play a big role in this season, so be prepared. It was, again, a solid start to the season. Next time, is a surprise, but I’ll be talking about one of my most anticipated upcoming projects. See you then. 

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Viewer Log: X-Men: Evolution ep 30

 The trap springs closed.

Last time on X-Men: Evolution, the hunt for Magneto is on, but another plot seems to be in the works. While hunting his archnemesis, Sabretooth, Wolverine is captured by a group of Mutant hating extremists lead by Bolivar Trask. Xavier, feeling that the New Mutants weren’t ready for the mission brings the Brotherhood Boys plus Wanda to bolster their ranks. Scott, frustrated by Xavier’s single mindedness on Magneto and working the team to the bone only to have their nemeses on, storms off.  Logan is put up against the prototype of Trask’s defender of humanity, the Sentinel. One man, even the Wolverine, vs one of those things is not a receipt for a fun time… for him. The X-Men and Brotherhood Boys plus Wanda, and Magneto and his new team the Acolytes, all converge on the spot where Logan is being held. And, unbeknownst to them, the X-Mansion is put into DefCon4 mode and set to self-destruct. Amara is the only New Mutant to get out of the mansion and with Tabitha’s help, they collect Scott and are going to break into the Mansion. The plot thickens.

 

We start right where we left off, with the Sentinel holding Wolverine in its hand, preparing to terminate him. The robot is shut down before it can finish him, as Trask wants to run a full diagnostic after this initial test run and plans to use Logan for a round 2 fight once the test and repairs are done. TEASES!

 

Back at the Mansion, Jubilee is almost killed by a turret but is saved by Bobby. He and Berserker freeze and electrically fry the turrets respectively. The New Mutants split up to find the others and agree to meet in the computer lab to try and stop whatever’s happening. Meanwhile, Scott tries to climb the cliff up to the X-Jet hanger, but the rocks are too sheer. He decides they’ll have to go in on ground level. Tabitha is ready to make with the Boom Boom, but Scott stops her, fearing rockslides. Amara instead flames up and melts a way into the subbasement. The trio travel through the halls, making for the computer lab, blasting turrets as they go. We’re shown that they’re down to 7 minutes, 30 seconds left.

 

The more things change, the more they stay the 
same.

The X-Men and Brotherhood have found Magneto’s pods. Xavier, who is still on the Velocity, warns them to stay alert. None of the teams are able to fid anything, but a musical sting over Quicksilver suggests that he’s up to something. Nightcrawler examines the pods but finds nothing. His group, comprised of Jean, Rogue, Shadowcat and Spyke, are then attacked by a flaming playing card. Oh, dear. It explodes but everyone is able to dodge around it. Hearing the commotion, Avalanche announces “Finally, some action!” to which Quicksilver says evilly “You have no idea” and races off. Scarlet Witch, having been watching her brother, announces “It’s a trap!”

 

Magneto reveals himself, ripping a building to pieces to reveal his new team. The Acolytes show off their powers, which is mostly jut Sabretooth and Colossus looking menacing, Gambit shuffling cards and Pyro doing fire tricks. They attack. Beast takes Wolverine’s usual spot and fights Sabretooth. Pyro holds off some X-Men for a minute or so, but then Storm douses his flames and electrocutes his flamethrower pack. Beast throws Sabretooth around and demands to know where Wolverine is, but Sabretooth just says he’s around. While all the fighting is going on, Scarlet Witch searches the skyline for a place her father could be.

 

The New Mutants have gathered in the computer lab. Bobby Drake has had no luck deactivating DefCon 4. Berserker (yes, that is his real name) tries to electrocute the panel but Scott arrives tell them that’s a real bad idea. He can’t shut if off, either, but has somehow figured out who is behind this. They’re down to a minute and can’t get out in time. Scott leads them to someplace that he thinks will be safe. And a moment later, the whole mansion explodes. Damn.

 

Wolverine is being held in a holding area while he recovers. His healing factor is impressive to Trask, who I’m sure is just looking forward to how rapidly they can get back to testing. He’s alerted to the Mutant’s fighting above his lab, and orders the Sentinel be brought back online.

 

Rogue creeps around the shipping area, coming up on Gambit. There’s this kind of weird moment where they look into each other’s eyes and she freezes. Gambit hands Rogue a king of hearts, which he then ignites before falling back. Rogue comes out of it at the last second and tosses the card aside before it blows. The scene makes more sense when you remember that Gambit has pheromone powers and he was probably using them to freeze her up.

 

Colossus is trying to crush Toad, but the animal inspired Mutant is just too agile to hit. Toad, feeling cocky, leaps at Colossus trying to knock him over, but is as effective as an actual Toad landing on a statue. Thankfully for him, Blob stomps over wanting to see who the superior Strongman is. He is able to knock back Colossus, whom is grabbed by Shadowcat and pulled into a building. Avalanche then does his thing and causes a quake that buries him. Beast gets his bell rung by Sabretooth, but Rogue is able to sample his power and knock Creed back before he can finish off the Hank.

 

Scarlet Witch finally locks her eyes on Magneto and Quicksilver. Her anger sets off destructive waves of energy that crack the walls around her. She marches toward them, with Storm watching to warn the others what’s happening. Quicksilver warns pops the Wanda shaped storm coming towards them, but Magneto isn’t concerned. “She will have to wait. It’s time to move this along.” He rips open the ground under the X-Men, dropping them into Trask’s lab. I guess the ground has a high iron content or something. Trask has the Sentinel activated and sends it in. The robot comes stomping in to face off against the teams. Quicksilver raced over to confirm what’s happening and races back to Magneto to report the Sentinel has taken the field. Magneto recalls his team to their pods and sends them off. He then announces “And now the whole world will know of us!” He uses his powers to lift the Sentinel and X-Men up to ground level. A passing news copter spies the people in costumes fighting a mecha and announce the whole world has to see this.

 

The Sentinel disables Storm with a hard hit. Spyke, is obviously pissed at this, launches a bunch of spikes at it, destroying its chest cannon. The teams hurl their powers at the Sentinel, slowing it down and damaging it’s weapons. As the news-copters film, we see all of the non-X-Men side characters watching and reacting to seeing their friends, students and significant others battling a giant robot. Scott’s friend Paul has the best reaction, just staring at the screen with his mouth wide open and a spoon halfway to his mouth. The Sentinel hits the Blob and Spyke with its freezing gel. Storm gets sup and hits the damn thing with a tornado. It activates its jets, leaping up and slamming into the ground near Rogue and Shadowcat. It hits them both, but Kitty slips out. It globs Beast when it tries to tackle it, too. Soldiers are brought in, but Magneto isn’t ready for them to interfere. He holds back the copters. Nightcrawler and Toad see the copters, and Nightcrawler teleports over, grabs a grenade and uses it on the Sentinel’s shoulder rig. The robot is still going, though, and finally detects Magneto’s use of powers.

 

Scarlet Witch catches up to her family. She disables Quicksilver with a magic blast, and then uses her powers to somehow block Magneto’s, just as the Sentinel flies up. It fires on them but the two dodge around. Xavier flies the Velocity up and shoots at them, but Scarlet Witch throws her back, saying “Stay out of it!” The Sentinel launches missiles at them, but Magneto is able to reflect them. The Sentinel explodes, finally taken off line. Unfortunately, it’s still largely intact and its falling body hits Magneto, the resulting explosion throws Scarlet Witch off the building. Thankfully, Nightcrawler grabs her at the last minute. Xavier calls the teams back in, saying they’ll have to come back for the teammates that have been captured. As the Velocity flies off, we hear the reporters speculating on if the Mutants are friend, foe, human, alien and all the usual jazz.

 

Not to be that guy, but if they're clothes are damaged
shouldn't they also be horribly burned?

The Velocity lands at the Mansion, Jean and the rest horrified at the thought their friends were killed. Scott and the others arrive, their clothes damage but otherwise unharmed. The New Mutants explaining that Scott got them into Cerebro just before the explosion went off. Scott, clearly pissed, pushes past everyone and grabs Xavier by the collar, accusing him of what happened. The others grab Scott, who drops Xavier, whom then stands back up, laughing. Xavier turns blue and reveals that he’s been Mystique for some time. And that’s the finale. Damn!

 

As good as the Asteroid M finale was, this one was better. We got to see a full-on Mutant brawl with over a dozen Mutants fighting. The introduction of the Sentinel and finally seeing the Mutants being forced into the spotlight sure was something. Magneto’s plan was pretty damn good. He must have found out about Trask and his Sentinel around when he stole Project Rebirth. This isn’t confirmed in episode, but feels like a safe bet. He lured the X-Men to where the Sentinel was, kept them occupied long enough for the Sentinel to be unleashed, and then pulled back his own forces so the X-men have to fight it. Mutants get revealed, the level humans are willing to unleash to destroy them are also revealed, and the X-Men are either injured or captured battling the mech. Pretty much an unbeatable plan, if his daughter hadn’t complicated things. But that’s what Wanda does. The reveal that Mystique had stolen Charles identity, presumably since visiting Wanda a few in universe weeks ago was really shocking when I saw it as a kid, but in hindsight they dropped a lot of clues. From the much greater emphasis on finding Magneto, to his constant riding of his team to fight harder and be more ruthless, to the simple fact we don’t see him use his powers once since that incident, the clues kind of pile up. Sure, I’m not sure how she was able to flip between the Mansion and the Brotherhood house as quickly as she did, but that’s a minor continuity problem. Much like Blobs disappearing, reappearing mohawk. And so, with season 2 ends the time of the X-Men and Mutants living in the shadows. From here on out, they’ll be tackling the usual prejudices, bigotry and all the other crap all other adaptations deal with. Magneto has sowed the seeds to that Dark Future he predicted at the end of season 1, but the X-Men are going to fight tooth and nail to stop it from spiraling further.  Next time, the X-Men need to free the rest of their team, and deal with the fallout. Have a good night!

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Viewer Log: X-Men: Evolution ep 29

To quote the Master of Magnetism, A Dark future is rushing toward them.

Last time on X-Men: Evolution, we were introduced to Wanda Maximoff. In this universe, she was a patient at a mental institution for at least a decade following her father abandoning her when she became unmanageable. She’s sprung by Mystique and brought to the Brotherhood as their new secret weapon. She gets a crash course in magic by Agatha Harkness until her powers are deemed acceptably under control. The X-Men battle the Brotherhood, beating each of the boys, but they’re ultimately overwhelmed by Wanda’s immense power. The team has their first real loss against the Brotherhood and don’t take it well. Enough recap, let’s get to it, shall we?

 

We open on Wolverine tracking someone through a sewer. He’s also being tracked by a group of men in advanced battle suits. Ol’ Logan knows they’re there, but as he’s tracking Sabretooth, he’s really not paying attention to his shadows. They’re able to stay back from him by following him via heat signatures through the walls. The troops call in a pod as they continue to track Logan. Ol’ Wolvy finds Sabretooth and tackles him, but his attack is thwarted by Magneto throwing a grate at him, which disables him long enough for Sabretooth to get some distance. Suddenly, the pod descends. It hits Logan with some kind of gel that hardens, trapping him in place. Sabretooth slips away in the confusion. The pod opens, revealing Dr. Bolivar Trask. His men tell him they lost Sabretooth due to a magnetic disturbance, but Trask isn’t concerned, they have a test subject now. He orders Logan brought to the Facility.

 

At the Mansion, Jean is tracking Logan but informs Xavier that she lost him and Sabretooth. Xavier is clearly furious that they lost their lead to Magneto. Jean apologizes, saying that she wasn’t ready to use Cerebro after only four sessions, but Xavier tells her not to worry. Something unforeseen happened, so they need to figure that out.

 

Mutants Detected.

Storm and Beast are sent to search the sewer for Wolverine. Oh, Hank’s hands are never going to smell the same. They find no trace, but when Beast points out that it’s literally impossible that Logan got into a tussle without slicing something up, Storm gets the idea to clear the water. She pulls it up in a water spout, and they find the slice and bent grate, leading them to the obvious Magneto conclusion.  While they talk, an owl watches them from the street level through the grate and flies off.

 

She returns to the Brotherhood house, landing in her bedroom and returning to her normal Mystique form. Boom Boom really did a number on that room, just saying. On the main level, the Brotherhood Boys are relaxing when Mystique comes down. She tells her boys, and Wanda when she joins them, that Magneto has apparently abducted Wolverine. She asks Pietro why Magneto would do that, but Pietro has no idea. She is not happy with that answer, but decides that it’s a sign that she needs to accelerate her plans.

 

At the Mansion, the kids are being put through a hell of a training session. They’re trying to get at a dummy Magneto, but the drone used to either simulate his powers or defensive tech has taken out all of the New Mutants, but Amara, and Rogue and Kurt. The drone almost gets Amara too, but Cyclops destroys it. Xavier starts yelling at Scott to either make a decision or turn leadership over to Jean. Flustered, Scott settles on surrounding and overwhelming the Magneto stand in. The surviving team surround Magneto, but Spyke knocks over some rocks that knock his helmet off, revealing a bomb. The team scatter, but then are picked off by more Drones. Xavier calls them into a meeting, clearly angry. He berates Scott for trying an all-out assault on someone that is always two steps ahead. Scott is clearly confused by his mentor riding him and the rest of the team so hard, but Xavier keeps him off balance by bringing up the ONE loss to the Brotherhood again. He has decided that the New Mutants are still too green to help with this mission, but needing to boost their ranks, brings in their new recruits. Yep, it’s the Brotherhood Boys plus Wanda. Yes, I’m probably going to refer to them as such from now on. The X-Men are obviously upset by this, but Xavier is adamant they need the Brotherhood for this. They’re still riding high on their win, with Lance being so bold as to say that the X-Men clearly need new leadership. Scott, clearly furious, says that Lance can have the job and storms off. Jean wants to go after him, but Xavier tells her to leave him, they need to focus on the mission.

A much more impressive team.

 

We cut to an armored car pulling up to a factory. Once inside, they open the back door and pullout Logan. His hands and feet are bound, but Logan, being the Wolverine, is able to kick the ass of a pair of guards anyway. He’s stopped by Trask who activates his cuffs shock function. They take Wolverine to an elevator and drop down to sub-basement levels. Wolverine, while still groggy, notes the tech is more SHIELD than Magneto. Trask gets mad, saying that while he worked with SHIELD long enough to learn about Mutants, he cut ties with them years ago. He spouts some human supremist bull. Logan points out that some Mutants want peace, but Trask isn’t interested. He’s going to show Logan his new equalizer.

 

Jean picks up on Logan’s healing factor and informs Xavier, whom tells Jean to scramble the Teams. Beast and Kitty fly the X-Jet with the Brotherhood Boys plus Wanda. Meanwhile, Mystique slips into a computer lab and activates the DefCon 4 Protocol. Xavier the joins the rest o the X-Men on the Velocity. Storm wants to wait for Scott, but Xavier tells her they can’t wait. Despite clearly not beig happy leaving Scott behind, Storm follows Xavier’s orders.

 

After the Velocity takes off, DefCon 4 activates. The Mansion goes into lockdown, sealing the New Mutants inside. Amara is the only one that seemed to figure out what is going on and makes a break for the exit. She gets out just before the blast shields drop. The metal is so thick that it stops Sam’s Cannonball tackle, he was a half-step behind Amara but was too slow. Amara tries to blast the shields, but the security cannons come online. She’d have probably been taken out if Tabitha hadn’t pulled up seconds before in Lance’s jeep and warned her. Tabitha boom booms her way into the grounds to save Amara and the two drive off. Tabitha blowing the fountain gun to smithereens as they go. They find Scott musing on his car at the local cliff. They give him the lowdown on the situation before carpooling in his car back to the mansion. Tabitha explains on the ride that she didn’t know what was happening, but she came to the mansion to warn the professor that Mystique is back and in control of the Brotherhood. I assume the Mansion and Brotherhood house are far enough apart that she was able to justify waiting until the Brotherhood left to steal Lance’s jeep again. Or something. Scott is very confused as to why the Brotherhood is working with them if Mystique is pulling the strings again, and says something is very wrong.

 

We see Logan dropped into a fighting pit. Trask unveils the prototype of his guardian of the human race, his Sentinel. As a prototype, this version doesn’t have the uncanny valley realistic face or apparently even the ability to give warnings like the mass-produced models in other series, but it’s got enough weapons to make up for that fact. The colossal machine is able to detect Logan’s Mutant Signature… whatever that actually means, and starts blasting him with its chest cannon. Logan, being the damn Wolverine, is able to dodge around the fire and even gets some slices in after dropping a crane on it, but the short man does not last against the giant robot. He tries to climb a wall to escape, but it laser blasts the concrete, dropping him to the ground and burying him.

 

Scott and the girls arrive at the waterfall that covers the X-Jet’s runway. He grabs a visor that he keeps in his glove compartment and prepares to climb. The other two are skeptical but he’s adamant that it’s the only way in. Inside the Mansion, Sam is still trying to Cannonball through, but is only leaving dents. Bobby and him bid a hasty retreat when the Mansion’s foyer cannons come online as well. In the computer room, the security system reveals that it’s initiating the final stages of DefCon 4, the self-destruct protocol. It’ll initiate in 10 minutes.

 

We cut to an industrial area where five of Magneto’s metal spheres are flying by. The pods land and open, revealing Magneto’s new team. It’s not mentioned here, but they’re called the Acolytes. We have Sabretooth, which was fairly obvious. He also brough along Pyro, another typical recruit for Magneto’s teams. No, the shockers are the last two, a Cajun man shuffling a deck of cards in his hands, and a very large, one might say Colossal, man that suits himself up in steel. And then Magneto rises to join them. This is definitely not good.

 

The episode ends on the Sentinel digging through the rubble and finding Logan. It lifts him to its eyes, registers that he’s still alive and sets to terminate him.

 

As far as setups for season finales go, this was a damn good one. We had a couple major status quo shakeups, with the overworked and confused Scott quitting the team AND the Brotherhood Boys and Wanda “joining” the X-Men. Mystique has got a major plan in motion that uses the X-Mansion against the X-Men. Anti-Mutant activist and overall racist psycho Bolivar Trask is whipping out his personal biggest guns to fight the Mutant threat. Oh, and Magneto has shown up with a team including two of the most Iconic X-Men! My jaw dropped when I was a kid and saw Gambit and Colossus with Magneto. Gambit… I can kind of get, he’s been a wild card for years and him joining Magneto if he met him first tracks. No, the real surprise with Colossus, the pillar of morality and decency siding with Magneto. We learn that it’s more complicated eventually. And as teams go, it’s a solid one. He’s got two close combat types, with Sabretooth being more offensive and Colossus more defensive; Gambit for midrange or close fighting, depending on if he runs out of cards or not; and then Pyro and himself for long ranged. All the bases covered. If you paid attention to my not-so-subtle hints, I think you can guess what Mystiques big play is, but I’ll get into that next time. So, we’ve got the X-Men and Brotherhood, the Acolytes, and a Sentinel all converging on one spot. Oh, this is going to be messy. See you then. 

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Viewer Log: X-Men: Evolution ep 28

It was Agatha all along. But not really, this time. 

Last time on X-Men: Evolution, we got a brief history of Logan’s relationship with Captain America. He’s forced to relive meeting and working with the ol’ Hitler puncher when Magneto steals the equipment for Operation Rebirth, as relayed to him by Nick Fury of SHIELD. He brings Rogue and Kurt along to help. It’s revealed that Magneto stole Rebirth because his research had proven the procedure could rejuvenate him. He’d rapidly aged to more like what his chronological age should be, appearing to be in his mid-70s or so. His genetic enhancements kept him fit and young for longer than natural, but I guess the piper finally came calling. Kurt couldn’t bring himself to destroy Rebirth before Magneto put himself through the procedure, and it does rejuvenate him. They destroy Rebirth, and Magneto looks like he might kill them, but he spares them as Kurt spared him, and as payment for a favor owed to Logan. It’s revealed in flashbacks that on the mission Logan undertook with Cap that they saved a young man who used magnetism to help them escape, yep, that’s Mags. The episode ended with Logan visiting Captain America in his frozen pod and promising to find a cure for the cellular degeneration that put him under. Enough recap, let’s get to it, shall we?

 

Wanda is pissed. Again.

We open on a gothic, cathedral looking building.  Xavier is brought through heavy security and put into a locked cell to meet a patient. The patient is removed from her own, even heavier duty box of a cell. Hello Wanda Maximoff, you’re looking… spry. Her hands are totally bound in a straight jacket… but she still has eyeshadow and lipstick on? … Kay. Wanda is able to get her hands free as they try to lead her out, releasing her destructive powers to blow out lights, blasting guards, and melt steel door… just to rush to see Charles. Huh. She lunges at Xavier, but he’s able to soothe her with his telepathy. He also calls the guards off, so he and Wanda can have their session. He tells her that while a spot is open for her at the institute, he can’t risk bringing her there until she has her anger under control. She demands to be let out, but Xavier is still adamant she needs control before being released. A doctor comes in, telling Xavier they need to cut the session short as Wanda needs additional MRIs.

 

The Doctor leads Wanda through security, but then right by Radiology. They make a run for the exit, Wanda’s powers causing tremors as they run, implying I think that while she wants freedom, it’s still triggering anxiety. The doctor takes her to an old woman outside. She mutters something magic sounding which knocks Wanda out. The Doctor, obviously, reveals himself to be Mystique, whom tells her companion to keep Wanda under while she handles other business, shapeshifting into a guard as she reenters the hospital.

 

We cut to Bayville High, where Kurt is forced to try awful muffins Kitty made, and it’s revealed both Scott and Jean are having relationship troubles with their non-Scott and non-Jean partners. Summed up a five-minute scene in two sentences. Also, Jean, lass, if you aren’t happy with Duncan, BREAK UP WITH HIM. Light, this subplot annoyed me when I was a kid and even more so now that I’m an adult.

Honestly, the most dysfunctional version of their
relationship... okay, second to the Ultimate version
(Shudder)

 

Later, as a storm is kicking up, Mystique bursts into the Brotherhood house, announcing “Guess who’s back?” The boys are clearly shocked, with Toad confirming this is really Mystique when she throws him as punishment for their failures. She berates her team for their continued failures, for wrecking her house and for generally being screwups. Tabitha comes down and is clearly unimpressed with Mystique. The blue shapeshifter demands she get her stuff out of Mystique’s room. Tabitha tries to threaten her with her bombs, but Pietro stops her. He passes the bomb to Blob, who throws it to Toad and then throws Toad to escape the blast. The scene did have me snorting. Tabitha storms off to get her things. Mystique reveals that she has a secret weapon to let them finally defeat the X-Men, and brings in Wanda. She and Pietro lock eyes and Wanda immediately tries to kill him. Her powers start wrecking the place worse, and that’s when Pietro reveals to the team that Wanda’s his sister. Lance tries to force her back, but she’s able to redirect his seismic wave back them, and she does the same with Toad’s slime spit. The old witch comes in and puts her under again, leading her from the room.

 

Pietro is pretty upset at Mystique for pulling Wanda into the Brotherhood. We’ll say 30% fraternal concern, 70% fear for his own safety. Mystique thinks that her friend, Agatha Harkness, will get Wanda to channel her anger into something useful. … QUICK, SOMEONE PROTECT THE DOGS! Sorry, had a WandaVision flashback. Pietro is doubtful that she’ll be willing to cooperate, specifically because she clearly hates him with a sizeable number of fibers of her being. Mystique reveals what she downloaded from Cerebro when she led Arcade into it, Wanda’s full psychological profile. She knows she can manipulate Wanda’s hatred of Magneto in her scheme to kill the master of magnetism. Tabitha leaves, telling Mystique she can have the room, just before a bomb goes off. Boom Boom, indeed.

 

Back at the mansion, Xavier tells Scott, Kitty and Kurt to gather the team so he can fill them in. This saves Kurt from having to sample another muffin, which leaves a crater in the kitchen floor when dropped. Xavier informs his team about Wanda, reveals that her father left her at that hospital after she became unmanageable. And he thinks she broke out for a reason.

 

We cut back to the brotherhood house, where we get a few scenes of Wanda being trained by Agatha Harnkess. Both exercises, being in the center of flames while being able to breath calmly and creating an aurora borealis with a crystal, are hampered by memories of when she was left at the hospital. She is able to get some control, though. Later, Wanda cuts her hair into a pageboy look. Pietro compliments his sister’s new look, but Wanda is still more than a little peeved at her twin. He tries to connect with her, though, saying that he didn’t want to leave her at the hospital, but Magneto convinced him that it was the right thing to do for her. We get a full look at the scene, then, of Wanda being forced into the hospital by several orderlies while Magneto and Pietro watch from across the street. She watches them drive away from an upper window, sobbing. In the present, Pietro does the absolute stupidest thing and tells his abandoned, emotionally distraught sister to try to see it from his perspective. Wanda obviously gets livid and storms off after yelling that “Monsters don’t have a perspective!” When alone, Mystique asks Pietro where his loyalties lie, with her or with Magneto. He says her, as while his childhood was better, Magneto wasn’t much of a father to him, either. She is pleased and tells Pietro they’re almost ready to enact her plan to fight Magneto, but she arranged one final tests.

 

Back at the Mansion, Xavier tells his team that Cerebro got a hit on Wanda’s location. She and the Brotherhood Boys are at the Bayville Mall. He tells the team to suit up and check them out, which they do, with Scott and Kurt in particular confident at their odds of winning.

 

We're getting close to the finale of this Westside Story,
me thinks.

At the mall, they split up to search. Kitty, high strung and nervous, leaps at what she thinks is a Brotherhood boy, but instead hits a mannequin. But then Lance shows up, Avalanche telling Shadowcat to get out of the mall or she’ll get hurt. Kitty refuses to go, though, when she hears Spyke wrestling with Blob. Blob is lobbing TVs at Spyke, but he’s able to distract the Brotherhood’s muscle by flipping the TVs on and then spiking them, blinding him in electric sparks. Pietro faces off against Kurt, doing this bit where he pretends to be a tailor, measuring the Nightcrawler and then burying him in clothes. Kurt teleports away and then knocks Quicksilver into a shoe rack.

 

Jean battles Lance, Avalanche’s seismic power starts to overwhelm her. She gets a little assist from Cyclops, but then Toad steals his visor. Rogue gets it back, though, by draining Toad, and Jean gets a second wind, driving Avalanche back. Then… Wanda arrives. The soon to be dubbed Scarlet Witch flexes her vaguely defined powers, causing the earth to quake, electronics to explode, and even cause their powers to start malfunctioning. She manipulates Cyclops’ optic beam, Nightcrawlers teleportation, Kitty’s phasing and eventually causes the whole building to come crashing down. Jean calls a tactical retreat, and the X-Men run.

 

The Brotherhood celebrate their first win against the X-Men… I mean, I guess it’s their win, but I feel the need to point out they lost every individual match until Wanda was brought in. X-Men lead in points, is all I’m saying. Pietro compliments his sister, but then goes the complete wrong way by bring up what Magneto might think of her control. Wanda swears everlasting vengeance against him. Outside, Xavier meets his team and tells them that the fault lies with him, as he never trained them to fight someone with a power set like Wanda. He tells them that defeat builds character, and that this was a much-needed lesson. Downer ending.

 

This was a very interesting episode to introduce a very different Wanda. The goth punk look definitely works for her, as does a more aggressive attitude. Most interpretations I’ve seen of her have her either extremely timid until pushed or in ridged control of herself until pushed, so this version that is one misspoken word from wrecking the place is interesting. It’s also a unique take on her and Pietro’s relationship. Typically, the two are very codependent, relying on each other above anyone else. So, to see Wanda be furious at him and try to inflict bodily harm on him multiple times was definitely a change of pace. I think the one weakness to her here is that her powers are a little too vague. Wanda in almost all of her appearances have a combination of innate Magic power and a mutant ability to enhance negative probability. The two together make for a potent destructive combination, but we never really hear what Wanda’s powers are in the episode. They way as well be a will that alters reality as far as we know. Mystique’s plan, by the way, is devious, and you may have noticed some clues as to what it is here if you’ve been paying attention. The biggest negative is that completely nothing b plot about Kitty’s cooking. This is something I noticed as a kid, and again during the rewatch is that a lot of the high school kid problems just seem kinda tacked on. This episode loses nothing from dropping the Kitty bakes bad muffins joke, and could have given us more time to develop Wanda’s powers is all I’m saying. But, no use crying over spilt milk. Next time, we get re-introduced to Magneto and his new team, and truly introduced to another of the X-Men’s iconic villains. See you then.  

 

…

 

MUTANTS DETECTED.

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Viewer Log: X-Men: Evolution ep 27

A friendship as legendary as either of these two heroes. 

Last time on X-Men: Evolution, a girls day out turned into a vigilante pseudo-X team. As they tend to do. Jean, New Mutant Amara, Ex-New Mutant Tabitha, and later Rogue and Kitty, form a team of vigilante superheroes called the Bayville Sirens to battle crime in the area. They do well at their job, ultimately stopping a chop shopping ring. With only a minor assist from Scott and Kurt to keep the leader from being roasted. They get told to hang up the biker leather by a police officer, who is revealed to be Mystique in disguise. Well, that was an odd way to hit the reset button. But, whatever. Enough recap, let’s get to it, shall we?

 

Oh, hey Nick.

This episode opens with Logan on his motorcycle being tracked by someone in a copter. Sidenote, good on Logan for driving with a helmet, even though he 1000% doesn’t need one. He notices the tail and swerves into a forest to lose then. They send Hummers after him, but Logan causes them to crash with minimal effort. He gets cornered by the copter, who’s side opens to reveal Colonel Nick Fury. Logan tries to leave, telling Fury he doesn’t work for SHIELD anymore, but Nick is rather insistent that he stay, having his gunship target Logan’s bike to ensure he doesn’t go. Logan finally agrees to listen and Fury gives him the bad news. Turns out, Project Rebirth has been stolen. Logan is livid and confused hearing this, saying that he and Rogers destroyed it years ago. Well… crap. Nick tells him that there was a backup that SHIELD found 17 years ago, but they kept it under lock and key knowing that Logan would… object to any more experiments with it. Nick reveals that whoever stole it smashed through steel doors and magnetically fried security cameras. So yeah, Magneto isn’t being subtle this time.

 

We cut back to the Bayville High, where Rogue is complaining about failing a WW2 test to Kurt. How relevant. An asshole in a Captain America shirt bump into them, and Rogue and he almost start a fight. Kurt gets in the way, but the dude cracks his image inducer. The dude is about to run off to blab about what he saw, but thankfully Jean was walking by and she mindwipe him. They ask if he’s doing okay, and Kurt says that he’s used to it, but looks real sad when he teleports away.

 

Back at the Mansion, Logan gives Xavier the background on Project Rebirth. He explains how the project was an early form of Genetic Engineering. Xavier asks if this was an attempt at a Master Race, to which Logan denies, saying they were the good guys and they didn’t mean it like that, while Xavier points out that they never do. Logan says there was only one test subject, Steven Rogers. We get a flashback to Rogers Transformation, Rebirth this time seems to be an entirely gas based process. Rogers gets transformed into the captain, and we see him kick ass by saving a solider who’s jeep was hit by a Nazi plane. He takes the plane down, slicing off one of it’s wings with his shield, before helping the young soldier up. Xavier points out that Logan is talking like he knows Steve, to which Logan says he does, with another flashback scene of Cap returning the soldier to a Canadian army jeep and meeting Logan. Xavier points out that Logan’s powers of regeneration are impressive, with Logan saying that while he remembers WW2, things get a bit hazy after that. Xavier asks why Logan claims the project was a failure when it obviously worked if it made Captain America, but Logan says it actually destroyed him. And now Magneto has it.

And instant best friends.

 

Later, Rogue and Kurt see the lights dimming in the mansion and realize that Cerebro is being used at full power. In Cerebro, Logan notes that there are a lot of Mutant signatures are popping up. Xavier says their numbers are growing exponentially, and both agree that Mutant’s being hidden are numbered, and Xavier postulates that might be the reason behind Magneto’s increasing activity. Unfortunately, while Cerebro has been upgraded, Magneto’s cloaking tech has increased in turn. Logan then notices Rogue and Kurt watching and asks if she has something to contribute. Rogue says that she got some memories from Magneto back in New York and, while most are jumbled, she remembers a big dome partially covered in rocks, somewhere in the Sahara. While that’s a big area, she’s pretty sure she could find it via landmarks, and to get inside they’ll either need magnetism or teleportation. While Logan is against it, he really has no other options so they get to tag along.

 

While in flight, Kurt is super excited to be on a team with Rogue, who sarcastically says they’re a team of two. This triggers a flashback for Logan, who remembers his mission with Cap. They, a team of Two, were sent into a concentration camp that they needed to liberate fast. So, fast they were just dropped without parachutes. The two pretty easily obliterate the Nazi forces, even with Logan’s claws. Yeah, this is another universe that seemed to think Logan got his claws during the Weapon X treatment. Cap frees the prisoners, grabbing a young man and hoisting over his shoulder to help them run. Some Nazis throw grenades at the retreating prisoners, but the boy is able to throw them off course with that distinctive Magneto “whoosh” noise. They drop the kid and the others off at a transport car, and the boy says he’s Erik Lehnsherr and he thanks them for saving everyone. I should point out that his name right now should be Max Eisenhardt, but the movies made this alias Magneto’s canon name, I guess.

 

In the present, Rogue asks why Magneto would want Rebirth. Logan thinks he must have read up about the project after the fact and might want it to make some super soldiers. Rogue sees some landmark rocks and leads them to the dome. On the way, Kurt asks why there was only ever one super soldier. Logan explains that because power like that shouldn’t be easy, and there was a tradeoff to enhancing the Captain like that. The process gave him a cellular degenerative disease that was slowly killing him They land the Velocity and get on the XTVs, with Rogue grabbing a bomb to destroy the device. Yes, they are just ATVs. They drive toward the dome, with Rogue asking if they ever solved the problems with Rebirth. Logan says they didn’t get the chance to, as Cap and “Another guy” (him) blew the chamber to pieces to prevent anyone else having to go through the painful death Rogers was going through. As they approach the Dome, Magneto’s defense system kicks on and starts bombarding them. They’re able to dodge around the missiles, jump off a dune and Kurt teleports them into the building. Not a graceful landing, but points for style.

 

Inside the building, they see someone is already in the Rebirth Chamber. Logan runs to stop him, but get’s attacked by Sabretooth. He focuses on fighting Creed and has his sidekicks go for the actual chamber. They run for it, but Magneto uses his powers to pin them both to the wall with girders. Rogue passes Kurt the bomb and he teleports to the chamber. He sets and preps the bomb, telling the person inside that they’re doing him a favor as the chamber is bad for ones hell. Magneto is revealed to be inside and he says that on the contrary, the pod is his last hope. He’s looking incredibly old. When Kurt asks what happened, Magneto says that he is just old. Which checks out, if he were a mid-teen in the 40s he’d be at least 70 by 2000. His genetic enhancements kept him going for a long while, but he now needs the more drastic measure of Rebirth to get him back into fighting shape. Kurt says the project is dangerous and will kill him, but Magneto claims the cell degeneration is a human issue. For Mutants, Project Rebirth regenerates them, extending life spans. He tells Kurt that destroying the controls is as good as killing him, and asks if he’s really that much like his mother. Kurt can’t do it, and so let’s Magneto complete the process. Rebirth regenerates him to his physical prime again.

 

Logan is finally able to stop Sabretooth by throwing him into a transformer, runs up to and slices Magneto out of the pod. He pulls the timer on the bomb and blows Project Rebirth to kingdom come. Magneto is obviously pissed at Logan breaking his chance at an infinite refresh button, and attacks them, making a metal contraption from the various girders and scrap to fight them. He pins them all and knocks Kurt out. Magneto clearly contemplates killing them all, but decides that one good turn deserves another. Kurt saved him, so he owes the boy that much, and a young man in Poland owes Logan much the same. He lets them leave. On the way out, Rogue asks what Magneto meant, but Logan isn’t talking. He tells the kids that he has to visit an old friend before closing this case.

 

Logan visits Captain America, currently in a cryogenic pod in an undisclosed location. Logan promises his friend that they’ll find a cure for him, and that he’ll be there when Steve wakes up. Fury tells him it’s time to go and reminds him that this never happened. Logan agrees. The episode ends on Captain Steven Grant Rogers “America” in his pod, waiting.

 

I really enjoy this episode. While the legal complexities of live action film made it impossible for use to see theses two in the MCU, I do so love Cap and Logan war stories. X-Men: The Animated Series had one as well. So yeah, if that’s your only source off Marvel knowledge you might not know these two have very much a Batman and Superman, Flash and Green Arrow, Spider-Man and Daredevil type friendship. The dark and light pals. That said, it was a pretty convoluted tie in to make Project Rebirth regenerate an aged Magneto. Just kind of weird. Oh, and the initial appearance of Rogue and Kurt, with the failed test and a reminder that Kurt is blue, was 100% pointless. We could have just had them notice the lights flash and join the story there. Maybe then Cap could have had a line in one of the flashbacks. Just saying. Oh, and saving Magneto from the concentration camp is canon too. That might feel like a coincidence, but when you live as long as Logan you’re bound to meet a lot of people. I think it’s a shame that we never got to see them defrost Cap, I assume that was an idea for a later season, but they never got back to that story. And if was fun to see Nick Fury again. I like when these shows make it clear that while we’re focused on a specific group, there’s a larger world going on that we aren’t always seeing. SHIELD is always great for that. So yeah, a fun story about one of the best odd couples in Marvel. Next time, we’ve met the speed, now it’s time to meet the magic half of Marvel’s famous twins. Yep, 00s Wanda is coming on stage right. 

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Viewer Log: X-Men: Evolution ep 26

 Punk rocker vigilantes, I like it. 

So, we’re going to take a little break from MCU stuff for a bit. Mostly because it’s been a while since I’ve talked about the X-Men, and I have plans for a special October theme. More on that later, though.

 

Last time on X-Men: Evolution, Beast is getting stir crazy in self-imposed lockup in the mansion and leads an extra credit group to the California Redwood Forest to help him embrace the beast a little. He gets the attention of some Bigfoot enthusiasts, and a pair of hunters with said enthusiasts capture him. He befriends a scientist with the Bigfoot enthusiasts, whom helps him escape and cover up his existence when the X-Men free him. As they leave, the scientist tells Beast he’d love to know more, and Beast tells him that he’ll explain some time. It was a nice Beast centric episode. Enough recap, let’s get to it.

 

Brain and fire power together.

We open with Cyclops going down to a basement sublevel. He spies from above Jean working with one of the New Mutants, Amara aka Magma. They’re practicing with her pyrokinesis. Jean breaks down some rubble from an excavation site above them. She forms a bridge with her telekinesis and tells Amara to melt the individual stones into a solid bridge. Amara flames up and heat blasts the rubble, forming a pretty solid bridge. Scott radios down to Jean, reminding her that they need to wrap this up to ensure that Amara isn’t late for her first day at Bayville high. Jean tells him not to worry and begins grading Amara’s work. She notes a single crack in the bridge, which makes Amara feel like she failed the exercises. I think she’s being too hard on herself, personally, one crack is like A- at worst. Jean tells her not to be too discouraged as the whole point of theses exercise is to help them practice in a more controlled environment. A boulder breaks from the wall and drops toward them. … huh, kinda ruins Jean’s earlier point, no? Jean tells Amara to blast it. Amara tries, but misses. Jean grabs the boulder with telekinesis, but before she can do anything else, Scott blasts it to rubble.

 

When they come up, Scott does the stupid teenage boy thing and congratulates himself for saving these “damsels in distress.” Oh, Scotty, you dummy-dumb. Jean is clearly furious about this and stomps toward the elevator. They head to the upper floor to prepare for the day. Scott doesn’t get why Jean is mad, so she spells out that she was trying to teach Amara how to handle unexpected situations and there’s no part of that lesson that involves being saved by a “big strong man,” the last bit said condescendingly. She and Amara leave in a huff.

 

We cut over to the Brotherhood House. Tabitha aka Boom Boom bursts into the bathroom while Toad is having his monthly shower to steal mouthwash. She throws one of her bombs into the shower with him when he whines. On the way out, she tells Freddie Dukes that the mohawk look is out and asks Lance if there’s gas in his jeep. When he confirms, he hears the engine rev and gets outside just in time to see her drive away. The lesson here is just don’t answer Tabitha when she asks questions about your car.

 

We jump to Bayville High where Kitty shows Amara to her first class. Amara goes in and Tabitha joining her a moment later. Tabitha is still in her weird neutral space, where while she might be living with the Brotherhood Boys, she’s still pretty chummy with most of the New Mutant X-Men. She and Amara chat, with Tabitha clearly only hearing like every other word at best, about Amara’s training and how she’s feeling a bit stressed out. Tabitha suggests they have a girl’s afternoon after school to unwind, which Amara hesitantly agrees.

 

After school, Jean comes out just in time to see Amara and Tabitha drive off in Lance’s jeep. Tabitha throwing more of her bombs and blowing some trash cans. Do… people just assume she carries Firecrackers all the time? Whatever. Jean tells Scott to give him her keys so she can stop Tabitha from getting Amara in trouble. He tells her he’ll handle it, which clearly pisses her off more, so he backtracks, apologizing for assuming he’d handle this and for interrupting the training with Amara earlier. Jean begrudgingly accepts his apology, saying that she’s just getting tired of being viewed as the weaker sex by default. That feeling is only exacerbated when her idiot, I mean boyfriend, Duncan runs up, telling her he got them Sadie Hawkins Dance tickets. Jean, tired of this crap, grabs Scott’s keys and storms off. Duncan has his best line ever, “Man, I’m glad she took your keys.”

 

Boom boom goes bang bang

Tabitha and Amara pull up behind a car just as two guys come up to it, throw the driver and drive away. … huh. So, after the least violent carjacking in history, Tabitha chases after them in the Jeep. Jean pulls up just as the carjackers almost hit a mother and her daughter. She stops it telekinetically at the last second, the mom and daughter getting out of the way. The car drives off, and she sees Tabitha and Amara following so she follows them. Amara blows out the car’s tires and then Tabitha blows out the whole backseat. Huh, I guess screw the guy that got his car stolen. The car crashes and the thieves try to run, but Jean arrives and traps them using cinderblocks and her telekinesis. The trio run off when they hear sirens approaching.

 

After Jean and Amara are watching a news report about their exploits with Scott in the kitchen. Apparently, the two least violent carjackers ever were “notorious” thieves and were stopped by “good Samaritans.” I’m guessing they didn’t interview the car’s owner. Jean whispers to Amara that they should probably keep this escapade to themselves, which Amara agrees, as it’s not like they’re going to do this again. Scott, whom had been trying to eavesdrop, falls out of his chair as they leave.

 

We then cut to Jean, Amara and Tabitha dancing to a music video about them going out to do the vigilante thing again, and also recruiting Kitty and Rogue to be part of their crew. They start dressing in kind of punk rocker gear and using their powers to stop various crimes around the city. At the end of the Music video portion, we see Mystique in her Risty guise watching and looking pretty pissed. Oh, that can’t possibly be good.

 

We get another news report of Jean and her new team, dubbed the Bayville Sirens, having somehow cut crime in half in the week or two they’ve been in business. I don’t think you can get crime statistics that quickly, but we’ll roll with it. WE see the chief of police vowing to stop theses vigilante activities.

 

At Bayville high, the Sirens have a slowmo walk down the halls… kay… where they’re the center of everyone’s attention. Scott, at his locker, overhears someone saying that there’s a rumor that the Sirens have power. He looks at his friends, thinks for about 4 seconds and then slaps his head for missing the obvious. He grabs Kurt and tells the fuzzy dude that they’re going to have a late night mission.

 

That night, Boom Boom breaks into the bathroom again for mouthwash, throws a bomb at Toad for complaining again, sort of apologizes to Freddie for shaving his mohawk (technically she just says she was wrong and that he looked better before, but that’s probably the best she can do) before going outside and blowing the chain off the Jeep that Lance put on. Outside the Mansion, Kurt and Scott spy the X-Men quartet sneaking out and meeting up with Tabitha. Jean spies them just as her group drives off. Scott and Kurt follow at a distance for a bit, but lose them when Tabitha out drives them, thanks in no small part to Kitty phasing the whole car through a passing train.

 

Punk rock meets vigilante justice.

Later, there’s a pretty funny bit where Rogue suggest they find a better place to change, with Tabitha scoffing, saying “No one will believe that toll booth guy” that actually got a loud snort from me. They drive around for a bit and see another completely non-violent carjacking. They chase after the carjacker, lose him for a second but then see him duck into an abandoned factory. They slip inside and find the chop shop at the center of the carjacking ring. They get ambushed by the guy in charge and about two or more dozen goons. Oh, no, close to 30 guys against five women with both combat training and superpowers, whatever shall they do? Yeah, the ladies have a very one sided fight with these guys, the only wrinkle of which being that the commotion plus Boom Boom and Magma cause a pretty serious fire. It’s big enough the smoke catches Scott and Kurt’s eye.

 

The boys arrive. Kurt wants to jump in, but Scott recognizes the lesson he needed to learn this week and holds him back, letting the Sirens do their thing. Mostly. Kitty traps the boss in a car trunk, Scott optic blasting it away from some oil cans right before they explode as well. He tells Kurt “you didn’t see me do that.”

 

The cops pull up as the Sirens put out the fire and restrain most of the goons. A lady cop comes in and tells them they’re under arrests. Jean and the others try to talk her out of arresting, which she agrees to, so long as they promise to retire the Sirens. They agree, and the officer points to a subbasement they can slip through. The girls run off and Kurt and Scott teleport away as the police come in. The officer tells the chief there’s no sign of the Sirens, then slips behind a car and reveals she’s Mystique. Huh.

 

That night, Jean and Scott share a cookie and chat. He tries to be nonchalant about her activities this week, but Jean calls him out right away. Sort of, she tells him she knows he followed them, but thanks him for not getting involved. She admits that the Sirens may have let the girl power thing go a LITTLE overboard, but that it was exhilarating using their powers to help people. She hopes that someday that they can all use their powers to help people in the open. The episode ends with Scott and her toasting to Someday.

 

Okay, that was a fun episode. I liked the girl power message, one that was and still is needed today. The fact that the whole thing started because of Tabitha being… Tabitha was kind of perfect, with the two good girls Jean and Amara focusing Tabitha’s chaotic energy to something useful. The gag about her routinely blowing stuff up, messing with and stealing from the brotherhood boys never fails to get a snicker out of me. Jean’s decision to rebel a little and lead a girl power vigilante crew is a little forced in the episode, I think, but there’ve been hints here and there throughout the series that she feels belittled at times so I’m more than willing to let it slide. I think I’m just confused by Mystique’s involvement. I think it’s implied that she does so to protect Rogue, possibly to end an ‘extracurricular activity’ that has kept them apart, but it’s never expressly stated why. Hell, as far as the episode tells us, she might have just done it because she’s a buzz kill. Who knows? Oh, and the way they present crime in this whole episode is really weird. I just don’t see a city of any size having multiple carjackings that just involve grabbing a guy and throwing them out of their car. But maybe automatic locks have killed that method of theft. So yeah, this was a fun little romp for the ladies of the X-Men. Next time, we’ll see the origins of a legend. See you then. 

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Review: Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

 Everybody is Kung-Fu fighting, and you better believe they're moving as fast as lightning.

As I stated in his character profile, Shang-Chi is one of those characters that I have known about for years, but I really couldn’t have told you anything about him until earlier this year when I started looking into him in preparation for this film’s release. They obviously took a LOT of liberties with the character, both for legal reasons, as they no longer have the rights to names like Dr. Fu Manchu, and to fit into the MCU as it exists today. But I think it works really well. Enough preamble, let’s get to it, shall we?

 

I’m going to cover Shang-Chi’s backstory all in one go. I know I try to recite the story as is, but the flashbacks are kind of all over the place in this one, and parts are told out of order. It’s just easier on my noggin to do it all at once. Kay? Kay.

 

Kick ass poster.

We begin the Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, not with the titular character but with the man that shaped him. This man, later revealed to be named Xu Wenwu, was a warlord in Asia 1000 years ago. He somehow had gotten his hands on ten bracelet like rings that granted him immense power, chiefly immortality and energy blasts. He spent the last ten centuries setting up a shadowy empire, called The Ten Rings, that spanned the world. He was fine with this life style for centuries, but things changed in 1996. He’d discovered the way to Ta Lo, an ancient city that was believed to be capable of making him more powerful. He made his way to a bamboo forest and tired to make his way to Ta Lo, but the shifting bamboo maze really kicked his ass, knocking the jeep he was riding in to the off the side of a cliff. He still was able to make it inside the forest and met Ying Li, the guardian to Ta Lo. The two face off, the mysterious woman being the first person to actually beat Wenwu, possibly ever but for sure since at least 1100 AD. I guess… he was… into that? As he and Ying Li quickly fell for each other. Wenwu was rejected by the people of Ta Lo, so he couldn’t move in with her, so they left to live in the modern world. The two had two children Shang-Chi and Xialing, Wenwu gave up his Rings to be live as normal a life as possible with his family, and they were happy.

 

FYI if the naming conventions confuse you, China and most of Asian go with Surname followed by given name, instead of given followed by sur as we do in the west. So, if we wrote the names European style, they’d be Wenwu Xu, Li Ying, and Shang-Chi and Xialing Xu. Get it? Got it? Good.

 

Love at first fight.

Unfortunately, this happiness ended when enemies of Xu Wenwu, the Iron Gang, found his hidden house. Li, whom had given up her powers when she left her role as Guardian of Ta Lo, fought them and killed a LOT of them, but she was eventually overwhelmed and killed. Wenwu, furious in his grief, redonned his Rings, and began training seven-year-old Shang-Chi as an assassin, while largely ignoring Xialing. Shang-Chi angry, heartbroken and wanting to make his father proud, threw himself into the training. At the same time, Xialing secretly began training on her own. After seven years of training, Wenwu told his son that the Ten Rings had tracked down the last of the men responsible for Li’s death. He sent Shang-Chi to finish him.

 

…

 

We open in the present day with Shang-Chi, now going under the extremely unimaginative alias Shaun, who is living in San Francisco. He is working as a valet with his best friend Katy, and is generally living a happy if somewhat underachieving life. As shown when he and Katy have dinner with a high school friend who kind of shames them with the fact that they’re two of the smartest people she knows are working dead end jobs, only for them to spend the night singing karaoke.

 

The next day while on the bus to work, Shang is attacked by a group of Ten Rings looking to steal the pendant that his mother gave him when he was a child.  He does pretty well against the grunts, much to Katy’s shock, but kind of hits the wall against this group’s leader, the noticeably white, Razor Fist. He has a machete for a hand. Using the environment of the bus and Katy’s driving, he’s able to force Razor Fist back, but the assassin is able to steal the pendant. Shang, knowing that Wenwu will need both for whatever he is doing, takes a post card his sister sent him and goes to warn her. Katy insists on going with, and while hesitant, Shang agrees and tells her everything. She mocks him mercilessly for his bad alias.

 

They arrive in Macau and go to Xialing’s building, at the top floor they’re met by Jon Jon the MC of a superpowered cage match syndicate. He rather excitedly tells Shang, whom he refers to as Bus Boy given the fight on the bus that went viral, that he’s going to fight in the main cage match. Shang is really not into it, but Jon Jon tells him that he already signed the waver, and promises to help Shang find Xialing when the fight is over. We get a quick look at a fist fight between Emil Blonsky aka Abomination vs. Wong. Props to Abomination for his first film appearance since The Incredible Hulk back in 2008, and is now sporting a more… comic accurate look. Wong beats Blonsky by using portals to have him punch himself out. In a post-fight convo, we hear that this is apparently a recurring training program that Wong has been putting Emil through, as he chastises the titan for not controlling his punches like they practiced. Shang is brought into the ring, and faces off against… Xu Xialing. Shang tries to talk to his sister, but Xialing is still pretty pissed at him for abandoning her ten years ago. She knocks him out, winning the fight. After, Katy, whom won a bundle betting on the younger Xu, joins Shang in Xialing’s office. Shang tells her about the pendant theft, but confuses her when he mentions the post card she sent. Turns out, that was from dad, for some reason. The Ten Rings attack Xialing’s building. Xialing and Jon Jon bail, leaving Shang and Katy to fend for themselves.

Xialing is pissed.

 

The duo does try to climb out the side of the building on top of bamboo scaffolding, but are attacked by the Ten Rings goons. Shang holds them off to the best of his ability, but Katy’s safety keeps him distracted and on the ropes. Xialing comes back to help, telling Shang that he now knows how it feels to be abandoned. One of their father’s chief lieutenants, Death Dealer (who’s super cool name is never said aloud), swoops in and steals the pendant. Shang-Chi chases him down and the two battle. Shang seems to be particularly invested in beating Death Dealer as he was in charge of Shang’s training, but the fight is interrupted by Wenwu’s arrival. He greets his son and takes the group back to the Ten Ring’s compound.

 

At the compound, they have a very awkward dinner with the Xu patriarch. There’s a particularly funny moment where, after asking Katy what her Chinese name is, (Ruiwen), he goes into the fact he’s still pissed about the whole AIM Ten Rings thing. He talks about how important names are, how he was only Wenwu to Li, and that when the terrorists at AIM wanted a boogeyman for their plot but didn’t know his name, they dubbed him the Mandarin. He’s super pissed that his groups name was used and he was given the name of a chicken dish. The funny bit are the Xu siblings rolling their eyes at what is probably the hundredth rendition of this rant.

 

It’s my understanding that its fairly common for Chinese immigrants to have both a legal, Chinese name but also an English nickname. Mostly to avoid racial prejudice and crap like that.

 

Oo, crazy water magic.

After dinner, Wenwu shows his kids and Katy what he wanted the pendants for. He uses them with a dragon statue in the compound, placing the pendants over the dragon’s eyes. It creates a water map of the bamboo forest, revealing a direct path to Ta Lo. The path is only open one day a year. Wenwu explains that he plans to travel to Ta Lo, and destroy it. Not just for vengeance, but also to “free” Li, who’s voice has come to him, claiming that she’s been imprisoned on the other side of a sealed gate in Ta Lo. Shang and the others obviously think this is nuts, but when they object, they’re put under house arrest by Wenwu.

 

The trio meet up and discover a most surprising prisoner, Trevor Slattery. Turns out, while he’d been captured years ago with the intent on execute him, but they actually enjoyed his acting so he’s been held as their personal thespian. He’s also accompanied by Morris, a faceless winged furry beast called a Hundun in Chinese myth, whom Trevor is quite pleased to learn isn’t a hallucination. Morris is from Ta Lo, and Trevor says that he’s willing to show them the way through the bamboo forest in exchange for bringing him home. And obviously Trevor needs to come with to translate. Turns out, there is a way through the forest on any day, the day three days from then just being the easiest time to make it through said forest. They escape using the tunnels that Xialing had used to escape four years before. They steal Razor Fist’s car to do so.

A very fun quintet. 

 

They travel through the bamboo forest, using Morris’ directions to follow the “pocket” the open space that seems to travel randomly through the forest, to the gate. They pass through and enter Ta Lo. They pass giant temple guardian beasts, nine-tailed white foxes, and other beasts from Chinese myth, arriving at a small village. There, they meet Ying Nan, another Guardian of Ta Lo and Ying Li’s sister. She takes her niece and nephew and explains what is happening to Wenwu. Turns out, he’s not hearing Ying Li. No, he’s hearing from The Dweller in Darkness. This beast once attacked Ta Lo, destroying much of their civilization until the Great Protector, a serpentine Asian dragon, fought the Dweller back and sealed him behind the Dark Gate, a gate made of Dragon scale. While trapped, the Dweller has been able to reach out to people it believes could free it, Wenwu being it’s most recent and best chance at freedom. Shang-Chi, Xialing and Katy want to help stop Wenwu, so begin training. Shang-Chi gets personal martial arts lessons from Nan, Xialing practices with her throwing dagger on a rope (rope-dart) weapon in the open for the first time, and Katy is kind of tricked into learning archery. They’re also given weapons and armor made from Dragon scale, the only substance that can protect for and harm the Dweller in Darkness and its minions. Still feeling that something is off, that night, Shang has a talk with Katy. He reveals that he lied to her. He had previously claimed that his falling out with his father happened when he couldn’t bring himself to kill the Iron Gang leader. Turns out, nope, he was disillusioned after killing the man and discovering that it didn’t fill the hole in his heart that his mother’s death created. Katy tells him that it’s not on him, as he was a teenager radicalized by his father. Feeling free, Shang threw himself back into his training.

 

Wenwu and the Ten Rings attack. The Ta Loans battled the Ten Rings, Xialing and Nan battle Razor Fist and Death Dealer, and Shang faces off against his father. He holds his own against Wenwu, but ends up being thrown into the river. Wenwu makes it to the Dark Gate and begins beating the gate with the Rings. He either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care when tiny monsters wriggle through the cracks he creates. The minions attack the Ta Loans and Ten Rings, killing Death Dealer (ironic), convincing the Ten Rings to help the Ta Loans to fight the beasts off. Shang-Chi seems to awaken the Great Protector sleeping in the river. The Great Protector uses their Dragon scales and claws to mow through minions while Shang faces Wenwu again. The dual is much more evenly matched this go round, with Shang capturing the rings and seemingly to convert them to his use. But, during the fight, the Dweller is able to free itself from the Dark Gate. Wenwu is captured, and rather than fight him off, Wenwu transfers his rings to Shang-Chi.

 

Eternal struggle between father and son.

So, it’s up to Shang-Chi, the Ten Rings, his allies and the Great Protector to defeat the massive Dweller In Darkness. You’ll have to see the movie to find out.

 

The good first. I love the cast. Simu Liu is amazing as Shang-Chi, a brilliant but trying to hide that young man with the fighting skills of a marital arts master. He did the majority of his own stunts in this film, given that it’s much harder to swap out Shang’s bare face for a stunt double as it is for, say, Tom Holland’s Spider-Man covered face. He was already a taekwondo, gymnastics and Wing Chun practitioner, but also learned tai chi, wushu, Muay Thai, silat, Krav Maga, jiu-jitsu, boxing and street fighting to help sell that he’s a martial arts master. He had great chemistry with Awkwafina aka Katy. Awkwafina was great as Shang’s best friend. Someone that keeps him up when he’s feeling down, but also kind of feeds into his impulse to try to lay lower than he could. She made me laugh hard in several places. I also like that there’s no romantic plot between the two of them. Nope, they’re just… bffs. It’s good to see, assumedly, Cishet opposite gender friends. It’s a relationship we could always use more of.  And Then there’s Meng’er Zhang as Xu Xialing. She’s great as Shang’s little sister. Sure, the “daughter wants to her dad’s respect just as much as her brother” thing is a fairly tired plot point, they made it work for her. At one point, when she and Katy have a moment to chat in private, she mentions that all Katy will have to do to avoid Wenwu’s notice is to not say anything and nod, as that’s how she grew up after her mother died. She claims that he couldn’t look at her without seeing Li, and they actually demonstrate this by Wenwu never once addressing Xialing specifically. Speaking of Wenwu, I really enjoyed Tony Leung in this part. His character is an amalgam of Shang-Chi’s comic book father Fu Manchu and the Iron Man villain the Mandarin, dropped the most problematic parts of those characters and made a very interesting character. Sure, Wenwu is the villain of the story, but his goal isn’t all that evil in principle. He is a man in grief, and in his grief is obsessed with the impossible idea of getting back the one person in a thousand years that made him feel. I kind of get it. Oh, and reworking the Rings that the Mandarin wears from finger rings to bracelets/training band like rings really works well with the emphasis on martial arts in this film, and makes Wenwu visually distinctive from the Mandarin. Oh, and Ben Kingsley is great as Trevor Slattery. It’s been like 7 years but he’s still as drugged out and out of it as ever.

 

The bad is limited, but noticeable. I really hated Razor Fist. He just seems off for a group like the Ten Rings. A guy who literally paints his name on his car and walks around with a machete for a hand is just way too obvious for a group of assassins, let alone him being the only obviously white member of the Ten Rings we see. No personal offense meant to Florian Munteanu, but it’s pretty clear that he’s a big fighter first and actor second or third. It really feels like he took the place that Death Dealer should have had as Wenwu’s #2. Speaking of, the flashbacks and only fight between Shang and Death Dealer made it feel like we were building to a “abused defeats his abuser” plot, but it really doesn’t go anywhere. And finally, the final fight with the Dweller feels… off. The fact that the big bad is a huge monster that needs the Great Protector to do most of the fighting instead of Shang is a bit of a letdown. I’d really have preferred the Dwellers form to be that of a smaller human that Shang-Chi and Xialing could have fought fist to fist would have been preferable to me.

 

I really enjoyed Shang-Chi. I’d give it a solid A. I think it’s my favorite origin movie of any of the MCU, topping even Spider-Man: Homecoming, Black Panther, and Captain Marvel, my previous three favorites. Simu Lui, who I know pitched playing this character years ago, put a lot of heart and passion into the character. While some lackluster villains (Razor Fist), use of villain (Death Dealer), and third act big bad (The Dweller) does bring it down from a perfect grade, it’s still a really fun ride. This is the first MCU movie I’ve seen in theaters twice in years. I’m really excited to see how the MCU will use Shang-Chi in the future, and how the next big film, the Eternals, is going to turn out. Thanks, cast and crew of Shang-Chi, for this perfect addition to the big, complicated web that is the MCU. Have a good night, everybody!

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