Review: Suicide Squad

DC, Warner Bros., I know you’re trying. You’re trying to make movies that are the same quality as Marvel, but with your own unique flair. But, if this year is any indication, you really really really really really need to reconsider your directors and writers. Why? Because Suicide Squad is worse than Batman v. Superman. There, I said it. Let’s get to it.

We open in the most logical place for this movie, prison. Belle Reve Penitentiary, it’s one of the prisons in the DC Universe where they send the Criminally Sane. We get introduced to some of our heavy hitters, Floyd Lawton aka Deadshot, Harleen Quinzel aka Harley Quinn, Waylon Jones aka Killer Crock, and El Diablo. We flash to intelligence operative Amanda Waller, who is trying to get clearance to use these four criminals and others into a team of Black Ops disposable assets, Task Force X. More commonly known as the Suicide Squad.

Villains Unite... or whatever.

They’re kind enough to show how Deadshot and Harley were captured. Here’s a hint, the guy that caught them goes by a name that rhymes with Gnat Band. Yeah, they got Bat-flec in for two short but intense capture scenes. And while the super assassin, the insane she-clown, pyro-flinging Gangbanger and Man-lizard are impressive, the higher ups of the US Brass only agree when Waller shows off her “ace” the Enchantress. Her backstory? She’s an ancient, I’m assuming, central American goddess that has possessed an archeologist named June Moone. She can teleport, bend reality, and is only obeying Waller because Waller has her heart. I’m sure there’s no way this could backfire.

They get the green light for the project, after Enchantress steals some highly classified documents for the US. Waller, and her number 2, Rick Flag, go to Belle Reve to look over their less then willing recruits. They test out Deadshot’s skills, and… that’s about it. Things sort of hit the fan when Enchantress decides she’s done taking orders, that lasted like a day and a half, and escapes. How? She breaks her brother, Incubus, out of his prison, gets him a human body, and then uses the power that Incubus can syphon to supplement her own power. They start building a doomsday weapon. Which seems odd. She and Incubus are POed that Humans aren’t worshiping them anymore, so they’re going to wipe us out… so we still can’t worship them anymore. Dumb plan.

So Waller and Flag assemble the Suicide Squad. Their team is comprised of the four mentioned above, a swordwoman named Katana, and Captain Stupid Gimmick… I mean Boomerang. They also get a guy named Slipknot, but he’s not important. Their given all of their equipment, but are also implanted with nano-explosives that will blow their heads off if they step out of line. Which is what happens to Slipknot. See? Not important. The Squad’s mission is to extract an asset from Midway City, where the gruesome twosome is causing a ruckus. They kill a bunch of mutant monster slaves, and make their way to the tower. They reach the asset, who is in fact Waller.

While all this other stuff was going on, Joker was causing some trouble. He’s apparently way more upset then usual that Harley is in jail while he is not. He kidnaps the scientist that designed the nano-bombs, smuggles a cellphone to Harley, and tracks them down. He and his joker gang steal the extraction helicopter, shoots at the squad, grabs Harley, and then is shot down. The Squad, after picking Harley up again, to kill Incubus and Enchantress. Can this ragtag group of villains do it? We’ll see.

The good first. Unfortunately, this section is rather short. Most of the cast was well chosen. Will Smith, Margot Robbie, Viola Davis, and Jared Leto do a good job as Deadshot, Harley, Amanda Waller, and Joker. Same for Adewale Akinnouye-Agbaje as Croc. I actually laughed more at his dialogue then anyone else’s. Joel Kinnamen as Rick Flag is okay, but not great. The effects are good. They also recreate a Joker/Harley comic cover in live action. I do enjoy when movies do stuff like that. The Joker’s background plot is kind of entertaining.  

He wears the mask like twice.
Why include it if you're not going to wear it?

Now the bad. There’s a lot of bad. The absolute worst of the bad? THE STORY. I can suspend my disbelief for a lot, but, you expect me to believe that when a pair of dark gods are destroying a major city and threatening an extinction level event that none of the legitimate superheroes show up to do something about it? No Batman? No Flash? No Wonder Woman? Were they all visiting Atlantis this week? I will admit, I don’t know the Suicide Squad as well as other comic teams, but I do know that their big thing is being COVERT. You send them in to handle situations that haven’t reached “Oh crap, front page news.” You send them in to take out minor dictators, psychos with dangerous weapons, or something like that. Or to rob heroes. That happens now and again. Also, we go pretty long stretches of time without seeing that main bad guys. I guess they weren’t doing anything interesting while the team was killing their minions? Kay. And there is no character development throughout. No growth, no one changes. They’re kind of awful human beings from beginning to end. Which, I get, they are villains. But the best villains do develop in a quality story. They try to make up for this with a bar scene towards the end, but it doesn’t nearly have the impact that I think they wanted it to. Also, pretty much out of nowhere, El Diablo becomes the emotional center by the end. So flipping weird.

They also didn’t really get the Harley/Joker relationship. At least as I know it. In all the iterations I’ve seen, yes, Harley is “addicted’ to Joker. It’s a toxic love for her. But for him, she’s a distraction. Someone he can smack around when he gets bored, or to do errands for him, or to distract Batman. He doesn’t really care if she’s around, unless it directly impacts his day to day. There’s a dark joke in one iteration. Harley gets pregnant, and she is aware enough that she knows that Joker isn’t really Dad material. She disappeared for a few months, had the kid, and left the baby with her sister or something like that. Her comment was that when she got back, he at least acted like he didn’t even notice she was gone. Does that sound like the kind of Joker I described above? I didn’t think so.

Finally, Margot Robbie is a very attractive woman. I’m not denying that. But, her costume is 100% fan service. To the ladies that read this, I’m sure there’s at least one, do you think booty shorts would be good monster fighting attire? I feel like a wedgie would be distracting.  Just saying.

Overall, I have to give this movie a D. There are some good elements but there is a heaping pile of manure on top of it. I agree with what most of the critics have said, actors top notch, everything else is no good. Were you to tell me that Suicide Squad 2 was getting a new director and writer, I would gladly see it. Rather than begrudgingly see it. What? Watching this kind of thing is what I do.  Next time, I think it’s time to do a truly great character. One that has saved the future a couple of times. The original Mutant Messiah, Nathan Christopher Charles Summers, aka Cable. 

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https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/suicide_squad_2016/#&gid=1&pid=h-132796