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| This is Xavier's concerned face. Get used to seeing it. |
Hey everybody, how’s it going? Good,
I hope. I’ve spent the last few weeks wracking my brain trying to figure out
what I want to cover now that we’re taking a bit of a break from My Hero
Academia. While a few topics crossed my mind, I settled on talking about a
Marvel show from my youth that I remember quite fondly, X-Men: Evolution. You
might be asking yourself, why am I doing the 2000 era X-Men show instead of the
vastly more popular X-Men: The Animated Series? You answered your own question.
Everyone who knows Marvel cartoons knows X-Men: TAS, loves it and suggests it
to those who haven’t seen it. It’s easily the best adaptation of a Marvel
property to date, and one of the best shows of all time. Not much point me
adding my voice to the tumult already saying “Watch this!” X-Men: Evolution, on
the other hand, I don’t think gets enough recognition, so I want to talk about
it. That’s enough pre-preamble, let’s get to it.
Somethings to note about the series
before things get started. In this iteration of reality, Mutants exist and are
known to a few individuals like the Charles Xavier, Magneto, and Nick Fury of
SHIELD. They are largely unknown to the populace, due no doubt in part to the
efforts of SHIELD and Xavier to keep them that way. Most of the X-Men and Brotherhood
of Mutant characters you know have been reimagined as teenagers. They are
living at either the Xavier Institute, or the Brotherhood boarding house, to
help them train with their powers and attend the local high school Bayville
High to help them interact with normal and teach control and discretion. In the
firsts season, notable exceptions to the age reduction are Xavier, Storm,
Wolverine, Magneto, Mystique, and Sabertooth. The three X-Men and Mystique serving
as mentors to their charges, and Magneto acts as the looming threat in the
shadows, and Sabertooth mostly just shows up to wreck stuff. I think that’s
enough basic set up, let’s get to it, for real, shall we?
We open on a football game. Jean Grey
is taking pictures for the school paper of her boyfriend Duncan making a
touchdown, Scott Summers is watching angrily from the stands, and Todd Tolanski
aka Toad is pickpocketing game attendees. Duncan, who is a major asshole from
the get go, grabs a few of his teammates and follows Toad under the bleachers
to teach him a lesson. Scott noticed Toad’s antics as well and went down to
investigate. Scott tries to defuses the situation, saying that they can just
have Toad return the money and wallets and call it good, but Duncan and his
crew don’t want to. Scott is clearly tempted to blast Duncan with his optic
beams, but instead tackles the jock and tosses him into his two buddies. Said
buddies chase after Toad when he scampers, but Duncan and Scott wrestle. Jean
arrives and tries to stop them, but is too late, as Scott is thrown hard
against a support beam, his glasses are knocked off and his optic beam flies
out and blasts a propane tank, causing a massive explosion. Damn, I wish Football
games at my high school were half as exciting.
After the opening credits roll, we
see a fancy car pull up to the football field, Professor Charles Xavier in the
back. And he doesn’t look too happy. Back under the bleachers, Jean uses her
telekinesis to recover Scott’s glasses and tells him to skedaddle while she
handles things. She goes to Duncan, who’s being treated for a mild concussion
and rewards his stupidity by doting on him. I’ll get back to this later, but
note that I’m annoyed by this. A police officer was questioning Duncan, and seems
to be thinking something wonky happened here… until Xavier mindwipes him into
believing that a faulty propane tank was the cause. Toad thanks Scott for his
help, but Scott’s a little too pissed at seeing Jean and Duncan together to pay
it much mind.
Xavier has his driver, Ororo Monroe
aka Storm, take him to the train station after he’s sure his charges won’t be
attacked by a mob. They’re met there by the Xavier Institute’s latest charge,
Kurt Wagner, who is swathed head to foot in a massive black cloak. You know,
because Nightcrawler.
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| Sabertooth wastes no time letting us know he's a stalker. |
We then cut to upstate New England
where a certain biker with anger issues is riding through. It’s Logan, I’m referring
to Logan if that was too subtle. He spies a newspaper headline about the
explosion in Bayville and decides that he might have to stop at home soon to
scope things out. But not before freaking out the clerk at the gas station he
stopped at by slicing the top off a bottle off water with his claws. Classic
Logan. As he returns to his bike, we’re shown that he’s being followed by a
massive man in biker leathers, with fangs and a caveman hair style. That would
be Logan’s nemesis, Sabertooth, if you’re new here.
The next day, Scott and Jean are
about to head out when they’re called into Xavier’s study. The good professor
introduces them to Kurt Wagner, and gives the basics of the Xavier School, that
it’s a place where individuals with unusual gifts can learn how to use them
properly. It’s here that the two senior Xavier students learn that the blue
fuzz ball can also teleport. He scolds Scott for a few minutes about the
explosion, before sending them off to School while he shows Kurt around the mansion.
At the school, Toad is called into
the principal’s office. There the principle, Ms. Raven Darkholme, asks him
about Scott Summers and what Toad knows about him. Toad is at first
apprehensive about talking about someone who helped him out, but Ms. Darkholme
is quite insistent that Toad do what he’s told and use this opportunity. She
does this by shapeshifting into an alien monster and screaming at him. Did I
mention that Raven Darkholme is the preferred alias of Mystique?
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| Yeah, no, I don't think anyone was shocked to learn Toad is a Mutant. |
Xavier and Ororo show Kurt his
room. While we never get the specifics of his homelife in this series, he’s
clearly not used to having a large room all to himself. But, all thoughts of
the room are dashed from his head when Xavier reveals another gift to Kurt. It
looks like a fancy watch, but it’s an ‘image inducer’ a machine that creates a holographic
image around Kurt, allowing the incredible Nightcrawler to pass as a more
normal German exchange student. Woo!
At the school, Toad approaches
Scott, showing off his powers and trying to get info out of Scott. While
clearly disgusted by Toad’s slime, body odor and general “eww” factor, Scott
says he’ll think about “getting to know” Toad. At the same time, Xavier gets
some sort of alert in his office. He opens the secret entrance to Cerebro, the
machine that amplifies his telepathy and helps him detect Mutants all over the
world. The alert and the call from Scott confirm to him that Toad is openly
using his powers and calls Ororo up to lead an “audition” for Toad.
That evening, Toad breaks onto the
grounds of the Xavier Institute. A few
seconds later, Ororo in her Storm gear flies out to “Greet” him. She summons a thunderstorm
and flings lightning at the man-phibian, leaning him toward the mansion. Nightcrawler,
in his spiffy new X-Uniform, enters the foyer just before Toad is thrown into
it. The two almost immediately start fighting and name calling, Kurt teleporting
circles around Toad. Xavier rolls in as Storm lands. He tries to call the boys
off and offer Toad a spot in the X-Men, but he’s more interested in fighting Nightcrawler.
He grabs the blue fuzzball and the two teleport down into the Danger Room. The
Danger Room is the onsite obstacle course and training room designed to push
the student’s powers to their limits. Oh, and it has automated defenses… crap.
Xavier mentally orders Jean and Scott in to help Kurt and Toad. The two more experienced
Mutants help the rookies survive long enough for Xavier to arrive and deactivate
the security protocols, although not before Kurt accidentally blasts Scott and
Toad when he tries to help disable a laser cannon. Toad runs off, as things proved to be a little
too exciting for him. While no one blames him for what happened, Kurt teleports
away, believing himself unworthy of his new home.
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| An imp and a Toad, a hatred that will last... until the end of the season, and then they kind of forget about it... |
Outside, Toad runs smack dab into a
recently arrived Logan. Logan, not liking the look or smell of this kid, unsheathes
his claws and looks like he’s ready to slice Toad up when Xavier calls out to
him and tells him to let Toad go. He does, tells Charles he came back because
he smelt danger and isn’t 100% certain it wasn’t Toad’s BO. Charles smiles and
welcomes his old friend home.
Back inside, Kurt “bamfs” into the
hanger and spies the Blackbird, the X-Men’s stealth jet. Scott joins him and
offers to let Kurt fly the jet if he’s willing to stay with the team. It only
takes a little finagling on his part to get Kurt to agree.
We jump back to the school, where,
for some reason, all of the bikes outside shake and then fall as Mystique
berates Toad. She’s… miffed that he bailed on a golden opportunity to spy on
the X-Mansion, and that Xavier obviously used his telepathy to repress and/or
erase Toad’s memories of the place so he can’t even tell her where anything
was. She angrily dismisses Toad, and screams in further frustration, revealing
her true-blue self. She only stops when her boss, Magneto, tells her to calm
down. The master of magnetism was watching the interaction from outside… I guess?
He tells her not to accidentally thin their ranks with her anger and that this
is only the beginning. Dun dun dahhhh!
Okay, as starter episodes go, this
was only okay. Certain bits of exposition were really clunky, like Xavier explaining
what the X-Gene was and how it pertains to Mutant powers in the middle of Toad
and Kurt’s wrestling match, of Storm making comments on Xavier’s “Kind heart” instead
of just letting Xavier’s actions show case said kindness. And, looking at this
show as an adult, it raises a lot of questions that I know they’ll never
answer and that bugs me. Such as… how long has Xavier been training Mutants? Are
Scott and Jean the only ones? Or are they just the only ones still at the Mansion?
Are there fully grown, fully trained non-X-Men Mutants running around NOT doing
superhero stuff? That’d be boring. How did Mystique get Toad? How long has Toad
worked for Mystique? Is he literally the most disappointing henchman ever? Sorry,
that train of thought got a little off task. But, yeah, there are unanswered questions
that I wished they’d delved into a bit. And I’ll go on a tirade about the
Jean-Scott-Duncan love triangle in an episode where we have to deal with it
more, but in brief, I’m annoyed by it. Other things were really good, like
Wolverine’s introduction, and the implication of his rivalry with Sabertooth.
The two aren’t shown meeting in this one, but you can tell there’s hate there
just by seeing the scary mountain man stalking Logan from afar. And Magneto’s
introduction, while short was just cool. You don’t even see his silhouette until
the closing few seconds. You just see the metallic objects in the room move,
Ms. Darkholme’s name plate moving, her paperclips start swirling around, the aforementioned
bikes, and then you hear Christopher Judge’s POWERFUL voice chastising his subordinate
and telling her to do better. It’s very Magneto. And I only call out Christopher
Judge’s performance specifically because, while everyone else I know is good to
great in their roles, he’s phenomenal. You just get a sampling of it here, but
he’s amazing. It’s his performance here that I thought of when it was announced
he’d be playing an older Kratos in the 2018 God of War and thought “Yeah, that’s
kind of perfect.” Enough gushing. Was this a great episode? No, but it was an
acceptable start to an adaptation that I know will only improve as time goes
on. Have a good night everyone.
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