Gorilla vs. Deinonychus, it's much less one side than it sounds.
Last time on Beast Wars, the Wars… began. Predacon insurrectionists stole the Golden Disk from the Maximals on Cybertron and used a ship with a Transwarp drive to travel to Earth’s ancient past. A group of Maximal explorers caught up to them and both ships shot each other down. They crash land on the planet, only to discover that it’s not Earth. The coordinates are right, as is the fauna, but none of the other readings match. The planet is rich in naturally occurring Energon crystals, though, so the Predacons decided to make lemonade from these lemons. The Maximals plan to stop them. Both sides take on Beast forms to work as hazmat suits to protect them from the intense Energon radiation. A skirmish is had between them, but both sides come off relatively unscathed. The Maximals return to their base to discover one of the Predacons, Dinobot, waiting. Megatron’s former second-in-command had been fired for trying to usurp control of their group after discovering this wasn’t the right planet for their plan. He announces that he and Optimus will have a trial by combat to see who will lead the Maximals. Enough recap. Let’s get to it.
We begin right where we left off,
Dinobot standing on the bridge and challenging Optimus to trial by combat for
the position of leader of the Maximals. Optimus, ever the diplomat, tries to
convince Dinobot that he can join them without fighting, not as the leader but
as an ally, but that’s not on the table for Dinobot. He shows off his
confidence in his assumed victory by revealing he’d pre-emptively changed his activation
code, shouting “Dinobot, MAXIMIZE!” Optimus transforms as well and the two of
them start fighting. Optimus pulls out a pair of scimitars and Dinobot whips
out a sort of spinning rapier and… I have no idea how to describe his other,
signature weapon. Imagine someone took off the rotating blades of a helicopter
and used them as a weapon. That’s basically it. Cheetor prepares to Transform
and fight Dinobot too, but the others stop him, the more seasoned members of
the team knowing that this won’t be settled without Optimus getting a clear win.
Optimus nearly falls, gets up and decks Dinobot in the face. Dinobot recovers
from his robot concussion and says that he’s still alive, so Optimus has to finish
it. Optimus tells him that’s not how Maximals do, and Dinobot says that will
have to change as he uses his laser eyes to blast Optimus. No, he’s never very
consistent with laser eye use. Optimus stumbles
back and falls, catching himself with his legs at the last moment.
Dinobot, shockingly, grabs him and throws him back onto the bridge. When
Optimus asks why, Dinobot says that he saw Optimus slipped. By his honor code,
if Optimus had died that way, it wouldn’t be a victory for him and would taint
his leadership. He goes on to say one of the most badass lines of the franchise,
“I prefer to beat my opponents the old-fashioned way… BRUTALLY!” before
attacking again. They dual for a few seconds, both bots admitting they have
qualities the other likes.
Meanwhile, the Predacons have arrived
and are watching from a distance. Megatron decides that it would be preferable
if there wasn’t a winner in this conflict. The Predacons Terrorize and fire
missiles at the duelists. The Maximals see it coming and Cheetor shouts to
Optimus. Optimus, thinking quickly, reverts to beast mode and tackles Dinobot.
Everyone thinks they fell to their deaths for a moment, but it’s revealed that
Optimus used his simian feet to catch them. As they hang, Dinobot starts
shorting out. He can’t transform with Optimus holding his foot, so tells him to
let Dinobot drop. He refuses, saying they’ll both go if he can’t save him.
Rhinox grabs Optimus at the last second and pulls them up. The Predacons unleash
all their firepower on the bridge, destroying it in a manner I’m pretty sure is
impossible, with Rattrap almost falling to his death. Optimus grabs him, though
and pulls him up.
Megatron, furious, hits Terrorsaur
and blames his soldiers for letting the Maximals escape. Scorponok points to
their still traveling missiles and they see them impact a nearby mountain. It
reveals a gigantic Energon crystal. The Predacons revert to Beast Mode and head
out. The Maximals see it too and try to decide what to do. Dinobot says that Megatron
will be unstoppable with a crystal that size. Rattrap, already tired of
Dinobot, tells Rhinox to scrap him, but Optimus holds them off. He asks if
Megatron will send the fliers out ahead, Dinobot says no, as only the spider Tarantulas
has the expertise to cut it into moveable chunks. They head out, with Rattrap announcing
they’re all gonna die.
Sometime later, the Maximals are on
approach. Rhinox asks if Optimus shouldn’t transform and use his jets to fly
ahead. Optimus says that he won’t, they need to stay together, as they don’t know
what the Predacons or the planet itself might have in store for them. Rhinox
points out an excellent example of that last point, a giant Stonehenge like structure
just off their path up the mountain. Terrorsaur and Waspinator fly in, transform,
and start shooting. The Maximals hold them off until they hit their Energon limit,
though, and they retreat. Dinobot, not wanting to let them get away, fires eyebeams
after them, almost crushing Rhinox when his beams break some of the cliffside
off and it nearly crushes him. Rattrap, not believing that to be an accident,
attacks him. He almost blows Dinobot’s head off, but Optimus lands and tells
him to stand down, saying it was an accident. Rattrap is insubordinate again, Optimus
telling him to question his orders one more time and see what happens. Rattrap
backs down and they start traveling again.
The Predacon arrives first, Tarantulas
observing that the energy output of that crystal would destroy them in less than
a minute in Robot mode, so this fight is going to be in beast mode. The Maximals
arrive a short time later and they face off. They charge each other, literally
slamming into each other before one-on-one fights begin to rock music. Some
fights are thematic, Optimus vs. Megatron, Dinobot vs. Scorponok, others are
just bad luck… I’m thinking specifically of Terrorsaur vs. Rhinox. Bird-cousin
vs. biological tank, tank wins. Megatron gets Optimus down and nearly crushes
him with his jaws, but Optimus tosses him off and he gets his head trapped in
between rocks. Megatron breaks free, charges Optimus again and takes a huge
chunk out of Optimus’s right leg. Given
the bite force of a T-Rex jaws being enough to turn bone into literal powder,
Cybertronian metal must be tough. Optimus throws him off but crumples a moment
later. He shouts that the fight is over, but Megatron is in a “If I can’t have
it, no one can” transforming and launching a missile at Optimus. Dinobot runs
in, knocking the missile to one side, causing the Energon to start to go off.
Cheetor announces “it’s time to fade, heroes!” and everyone runs. It looks like
for a moment that Megatron died from the Energon exposure… just to show him a moment
later leaping from the mountain to get out of the blast radius.
After the battle, Dinobot clarifies
that he didn’t save Optimus out of loyalty but to make them even on their life
debt for Optimus saving him. Rattrap sarcastically asks if they can go home now,
since they beat Megatron and destroyed that crystal. Optimus says no, not
mentioning the damaged ship, but because Megatron could be back and if he even
gets a little Energon off the planet, they’re boned. So, he says let the fight
remain on this strange, alien world, and let it be called BEAST WARS!
…
I feel like he would know it’s just
one war, so it be the Beast War, but I guess the plural sounds cooler.
Part two of the pilot episode was
about 2/3rd battle, but they were good battles, and the 1/3 plot was interesting.
We got good insight into Dinobot as a character. The “Noble Villain” thing is
hard to pull off, but I think they find a good balance with Dinobot. He tries
to avoid using underhanded tactics in a fight, but he’s also unwilling to listen
to peaceful solutions when presented. The “Brutally!” line has lived rent free
in my head since 1996. That’s approaching 30 years. The episode does also take
a moment to plant the seeds of the mysteries on this planet, with that weird
Stonehenge the Maximals passed on their way to the mountain. The aliens that
set up that structure and others are recurring plot points in the series, serving
as the third recurring plot. The three big plots are: 1. Maximals or Predacons attempt
to use a one-off technology to get the upper hand, 2. Alien tech investigated,
3. Pod lands. The first season is very episodic, with a handful of overarching
threads, but the episodic bits are interesting, so I can forgive it. The first two
episodes only focus on Megs for the villain, but the other baddies get enough
chances to differentiate themselves going forward. Tarantulas, in particular, goes
from just this mildly creepy because he’s a spider background character to
someone who’d be creepy even if his alt form were a baby panda. The teams have
faced off, the Beast Wars have begun. I’ll probably be back to this story real
soon. Next time, Quantumania, for sure, 100%, no dodging again.
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Twitter: @BasicsSuperhero
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