It's a hell of a game night.
Last time on Agatha All Along,
the second trial began. Just before that, though, the group used magic to
summon a Green Witch to replace/actually do the job Sharon was supposed to do.
Their spell summoned Rio, the woman that got Agatha out of her mental prison
and seems to hate her. The group was transported to a very seventies house that
was owned by Alice Wu-Gulliver’s late mother Lorna. After some searching around
the trial began when Teen put on a record. It essentially triggered Alice’s
family curse and made it target the Coven members. The curse manifesting as
burning pain, a scar on the right shoulder, and eventually total immolation.
Agatha has a lightbulb moment and realizes that Lorna’s version of the Ballad
of the Witch’s Road was in fact a protection spell to ward off the curse and
protect Alice. The group play Lorna’s Ballad and excise the curse from them
all. Teen, unfortunately, took a bit of glass to his stomach. The group take
him outside and use Jen’s potions to heal him. The group bonds a little while
waiting for Teen to recover, Rio hints at a past with Agatha before Agatha
storms off. When alone, Agatha goes in for a kiss, but Rio stops her and tells
her that Teen “isn’t hers.”
Ep 5: Darkest Hour / Wake Thy Power
We continue our story on the Road.
We go back track to Sharon’s grave as the Salem Seven gather in various animal
forms (fox, raven, snake) before they resume their human shapes and do their
Ringwraith impression. Though instead of “Shire, Baggins” they say “Agatha
Harkness, find her.” As one of them gathers up some dirt and sniffs it, Lilia
startles awake and warns the others they need to run, like now. She explains
that when they used their summoning spell, they left a door open for the Seven
to follow. Lilia also finally tells us what the deal is with the Salem Seven,
with some footnotes from Rio. In a nutshell, Agatha’s original Salem Coven
(which included her mom) tried to execute her for using dark magic. She used
her powers to drain them and kill them. When that happened, she spared the
young children of the other Coven members. After that they grew into a vicious
hivemind Coven that will stop at nothing to destroy her. Agatha then runs in
from somewhere and quickly adds that the moral of the story is “mercy is
overrated” and “always finish what you start.” The Witches start running but
they’re quickly surrounded, some of the Seven coming from the front, some in
back. Teen suggests using a “Hexenbesen” which is immediately shot down by
every woman there, but when he asks them for a better idea, they have zilch. Turns
out that’s just getting some sticks together to make a makeshift broom and fly
on it. As they quickly make their rides, Teen asks Lilia why her generation of
Witches hate the broom thing. It’s a combination of Halloween coopting their
culture, a symbol of feminine domesticity, and is just really damn basic. Part
of the ritual is pairing off, doing the spell and trading, and Teen gets to
participate with Alice. He’s jumped by one of the Seven, but they knock her
aside. They finish the ritual and fly under a bloodred moon. It’s one off those
things that’s scary but neat at the same time. Teen asks why they haven’t doing
this all along before the Road answers. By pulling them abb back to the ground.
They reach the next Trial house, passing through a Salem Seven member made of
Bees.
Inside, it’s very 80s. Jen freaks
out a little because the Seven are outside waiting for them, but Agatha points
out that they can’t get in, so they just need to finish the trial and run.
Alice wonders if the trial will be a game of “Kiss, marry, kill” before Rio
states that this trial is Agatha’s. Oh, and Teen notices his little spell book
is gone, so they’ve lost their cheat sheet. When he asks how they know, Lilia
points out the Bloodmoon in the sky, which is a symbol of the veil between the
living and the dead being at its thinnest. Teen asks Lilia if that shouldn’t be
her department, but she explains that her specialty is reading time (magically)
and reading people (Cold Reading) but speaking to the dead was always a con for
her. A Ouija boar leaps from a pile of boardgames, and all their watches start
blaring 30 minute alarms. Teen grabs the instructions, which say 1. Don’t do it
alone, 2. Don’t talk over each other (everyone calls bull on that) 3. Do. Not.
Taunt. The Spirits, 4. Don’t ask about death, 5. End sessions with a goodbye,
6. Don’t, under any circumstances remove your hand from the planchette. Doing
so will release a spirit. They gather around the board and asks who’s waiting
for Agatha and with what trauma. She says it could be literally anyone before
they begin.
Agatha asks who they’re communing
with, and it’s revealed to be Mrs. Hart, Sharon. The Planchette is pulled
violently to one side, knocking Lilia’s hand aside. Agatha suddenly jerks
around and starts doing a damn fine Debra Jo Rupp impression. It takes them a
minute, but once she refers to herself as Mrs. Hart, they realize that this is
just Agatha doing a bit. They get back to it and do the Ouija again. Agatha
asks who is with them tonight and it spells out Death. Rio laughs. They ask
what she wants, and it spells out Punishment. She’s here to punish Agatha. It
spells her name over and over again until Agatha pulls her hands and screams
start happening. Lilia screams she hated this the first time, in another out of
time moment. When Teen asks what it wants Jen answers, Punish Agatha. The
screaming stops and they realize to pass the trial they need to punish Agatha. Everyone’s
super into the idea, but when they look away Agatha is gone. The power cuts out
and they find her hanging from the ceiling with a face out of The Exorcist.
She lands and starts attacking randomly until the lights come back on and she
vanishes. A moment later a ghost enters the room. This is Evanora Harkness,
Agatha’s late mother. Agatha says hi to her and is then snarky about her.
Evanora screams at the Coven, saying that her coven died trying to stop her and
yet they join her willingly. The group asks what they can do to appease her and
sends her away, and she tells them they need to finish the Road but without
Agatha. Rio refuses first, Jen points out that a minute ago she was ready to
slit Agatha’s throat, to which Rio says that doesn’t matter because her mom
can’t have her. Agatha asks her mom why she still hates her. Evanora says she
was born evil, and she should have killed her after birthing her. Jen is ready
to leave Agatha, saying that there’s no fire or water here, that the only
danger of this trial is Agatha. Agatha begs them not to go but gets possessed
by her mother again. Alice rushes over and tries to free Agatha with her powers,
forgetting for a second what Agatha’s deal is. Evanora is forced out, but
Agatha keeps draining Alice. Teen notices the planchette freaking out and runs
over to it, asking the board who it is. It quickly spells out the name Nicholas
Scratch. Teen screams the name out, and that breaks Agatha’s concentration.
They hear a child saying “mama, stop,” before the watch beeps. The exit opens.
Alice drops, dead. Teen tries to find a way to save her but it’s too late. He
yells at Agatha, saying that Alice was trying to protect her, but she didn’t
deserve it. Agatha slips out while the others mourn.
Outside, Agatha flexes her hands
and draws up a flower of power. Teen comes out and starts yelling at her for
what happened. Agatha claims she couldn’t control it, but he doesn’t believe
her. He accuses her of only doing this for power. The others come out and agree
that that’s all that’s been, for any of them. Teen asks if this is what being a
Witch means, and if so, he refuses to accept it. Agatha starts laughing and
whispers in his ear, “Are you sure?” before saying he’s just like his mother.
Teen, clearly angry, uses his powers to force Jen and Lilia to grab Agatha and
throw her onto the ground outside the path. He then blasts the two of them back
onto it as well. As the three witches sink, we pull back from Teen face to see
he’s got a blue tiara on his head that is extremely similar to that warn by…
the Scarlet Witch. Oh, hi Billy!
That’s right, teen is Billy, one of
Wanda’s twins from the Hex. I’ll get into how that’s possible and the
character’s background next time when I’m sure the episode will go over it.
Suffice it to say, Billy somehow being alive despite being a figment of the Hex
in this universe isn’t the weirdest thing to come out of Marvel Comics. Not
sure how they’ll explain him looking different, though. In the comics the
magical construct Billy Maximoff and the human Billy Kaplan (again, explain
tomorrow) were identical, as were the Tommys. I knew that they’d be bringing
Billy back in at some point as he’s a founding member of the Young Avengers
along with his twin, but I didn’t guess they’d bring in a new actor to
metaphorically age up the character significantly. But I should probably talk
about the episode now. The trial itself was pretty straightforward, do a Ouija,
summon a ghost, and have the ghost of Mama Harkness yell at Agatha for bit.
Simple. Again, I need to give props to Kathryn Hahn as Agatha Harkness’ impression
of Debra Jo Rupp. Very believable. Evanora’s ghost was good. I totally buy that
she’d still be haunting the mortal plane after how she died all those ages ago.
Having your daughter drain life and power out of you has got to be one of the
worst ways to go. Saying that your child was pure evil and shouldn’t have even
gotten a chance to live is a bit much, but I kind of get it. I do find myself
wondering if Agatha could have stopped herself or not. She wanted power,
absolutely, and this whole Road experience was initially part of a plan to just
drain everyone… but I don’t know, I thought Agatha kind of like her crew. Odds
are she probably did intentionally, but I wouldn’t call foul if the story
decided it was an accident later. And I guess that’s all I have to say on that.
Tomorrow, we’ll be getting the backstory on Teen aka Billy. See you then.
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Bluesky: @basicssuperhero.bsky.social
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