Viewer Log: One-Punch Man ep 11

Continuing immediately after the previous episode, Saitama is still causing huge amounts of damage to the Warship. The captain of the Warship, Lord Boros, goes to discuss this “intruder” on his ship with his communications officer. Said officer, Space-Squid (not his real name but easier to spell) informs his boss that in the… oh, four minutes that Saitama has been aboard he’s damaged nearly a quarter of the ship and killed about as much of the crew. So yeah, give him twelve more minutes and this fight should be all wrapped up. We’re given a glimpse of Saitama’s surviving foes watching them on the news. Hammerhead is watching with his folks, Genus and Armored Gorilla are cooking some squid, and Sonic is oiling his blade. Glad to see they’re all okay, isn’t it?

The first villain to take a semi-serious punch.
This should be good.

The various heroes do their best to kill Space-Clayface. Puri-Puri Prisoner, Bang, and newcomers Atomic Samurai and Metal Bat keep smashing him despite his constant recovery. Metal Bat uncovers the secret to Space-Clayface’s regeneration, silver marbles at the core of his various heads. Break those, and the head dies. Easy-peasy. Back onboard the ship, Saitama is hopelessly lost. The man has no sense of direction. Space-Squid contacts Saitama over the PA system and demands that Saitama vacate the premises. Saitama reveals his status of being lost, and Space-Squid offers to help him leave. At a fork, he tells Saitama to go right. Realizing that that means the aliens don’t want him going left, he goes that way. He breaks into the control room, and confronts Space-Squid. Space-Squid shows off some impressive telekinetic powers, but all he really ends up doing is killing the rest of the crew. Lesson here? Messing with gravity is a bad idea. Saitama kills him with a strongly thrown pebble, and goes after Lord Boros.

Child Emperor, boy genius, uses some crazy looking tech to determine that the aliens are preparing another volley. Somehow, I’d have thought that would be pretty damn obvious. They have an Alien WMD, a half dozen threats to their invasion, and their only vulnerable asset is a being that is capable of rapid regeneration. I’m no world conquering alien, but that is a no brainer. Upon learning the obvious, the Hero Association calls back their Search and Rescue teams. They obviously don’t want to endanger their normal assets, but thankfully Mumen Rider and some other C and B class heroes show up to pick up the slack. The S-Class heroes on the ground are able to reduce Space-Clayface to just two heads, and Tornado shows off her telekinetic might by stopping the latest volley and fling it back at the Warship. The heroes reduce Space-Clayface to one head, before he snaps and goes on a berserk rampage. He hits and seemingly kills Bang. Rather than being broken, the heroes rally to try and take out Space-Clayface’s final head.

This may sting a little. And I can bet Saitama couldn't be more
excited.

Saitama meets up with Boros. To quote Robin, Saitama seems pretty “whelmed” by the situation. Boros doesn’t seem to notice that Saitama doesn’t give two (expletive deleted) about why he’s attacking earth. He explains his background, Boros is essentially an alien version of Saitama. Super-powerful being that grew so strong that no one could stand against him. As such, he grew bored with conquest, and sought out different ways to alleviate his boredom. His chance at excitement again came in the form of an alien Seer, who told him to search the cosmos for his ultimate challenge. Saitama, who’s already bored, punches Boros through a few pillars. Boros reveals he was wearing power surpassing armor, goes Super Saiyan (feels like it’s been a while since someone has done that), and rushes Saitama. The episode ends as the fight begins. You (expletive deleted) teases! Still, not a terrible way to end an episode. But it’s still frustrating.

So we now have two episodes of build-up. Which, for a season, and at the time possibly series, finale that’s to be expect. Boros needs to be a bigger threat than any previous villain, or else it’s not really upping the ante from the Deepsea King. And, so far, he seems to be meeting expectations. It’s also interesting to know that his background mirrors Saitama’s, just in space. I also love that Saitama’s kept short attention span. Remember, when giving your background to Saitama, keep it to twenty words or less. While it’s kind of hard to build tension with Saitama, a hazard of any Superman style character, this web comic/manga/anime does do a good top at showing the consequences of Saitama failing/being late. The guys he keeps running into, Deepsea King, Boros, Carnage Kabuto and the rest do a lot of collateral damage regardless of how long they’re on screen. And so do his minions. Bang and the the other heroes are having a heck of a time against Space Clayface, and if Saitama can't finish things quick, more heroes could be pushing up daisies. Next time, the epic conclusion.  

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Viewer Log: One-Punch Man ep 10

So this time around a mega-sized dinosaur awakens and breaks out of a block of ice. The supersized monster is King of the Terror Lizard Clan, and claims that the deaths of the kings of the Deep Sea and the Subterranean have given him the opportunity to take over. Some military guys fire off some rounds, and then hit him with the big gun, Tornado. She’s a little green haired woman with CRAZY psychic powers, in case the name doesn’t ring a bell. Tornado is almost immediately called back in by her superiors at the Hero Association. This, of course, irritates her. And her ignoring him irritates the Terror Lizard King. He tries to crush her, and rather stupidly remarks that only a meteor had any chance of killing him. Unfortunately for him, Tornado is able to pull a meteor from space, turning him into burnt street pizza.

Find myself wondering how he'd wear a hat.
Space-Clayface, real name: Melzalgald.

We cut back to Saitama and Genos getting a martial arts lesson from Bang. Teaching a cyborg and the equivalent of Superman martial arts… kind of like trying to teach Matthew McConaughey pick-up artist techniques. Would he ever really need them? We get some background on Bang, that until recently his dojo was really popular, but then his top student went nuts and beat the snot out of the majority of his students. Tough break, dude. A Hero Association official shows up and tells Bang and Genos that all the S-Class heroes are being called in because of a major emergency. Bang and Genos also insist that Saitama come along as well. They meet a bunch of heroes, including the Atomic Samurai and Tornado, both of whom are unimpressed by Saitama. We’re shown 15 of the 17 S-Class Heroes. Couple of bruisers, a few cyborgs, a morbidly obese…thing, a child genius, and a guy in a dog costume. I deal with a weird subject matter. The only ones not there are Metal Knight, who is anti-social, and #1 S-Ranked Hero, Blast.

A few Officials arrive, led by a man named Sitch, who explain the situation. Apparently, a short time ago a powerful psychic named Shibabawa predicted a major catastrophe mere moments before her death. Her predictions, while sporadic, have always been 100% accurate. As she chocked to death on a cough drop, yes you read that right, she wrote down “The Earth’s in trouble.” Apparently she’s never been so vague, hence why Sitch and the others are worried. They have a six-month window for when this disaster could occur. Saitama points that ‘today’ falls in that six-month period, right as the Hero Association Headquarters is bombed. We see some bird people, led by the Sky King, just before they’re slaughtered by an alien version of Clayface and a giant warship. The alien has an actual name, but it’s really hard to write or pronounce, so I’m just going to call him Space-Clayface.

They should have brought a bigger ship.

The Warship obliterates 99% of A-City, leaving only the Hero Association Building standing. They explain Metal Knight had designed the building, hence its sturdiness. Why didn’t he share that with the rest of the town? Because he’s a jerk, duh. Space-Clayface starts attacking survivors, but he’s temporarily stopped by a weird knight. He’s a student of Atomic Samurai. While the other heroes are still reacting to the warship and devastation, Genos notices that Saitama has literally leapt through the ceiling to get at the Warship. He blocks, dodges, and even flings back several projectiles back at the Warship before breaking into it. Beneath the ship, Space-Clayface blows Mr. Knight’s left arm clean off. He’s have been killed, if Atomic Samurai hadn’t stepped in to save his student. He slices Space-Clayface into powder, but the alien quickly regenerates. Samurai slices him up again. And again. Space-Clayface just keeps regenerating. The Hero Association is preparing evacuation/rescue procedures, and unofficially declaring this a Kami Situation. For those who don’t remember, Kami=possible human extinction. So…yeah, very bad. Meanwhile, Saitama has started smashing through the Warship and killing the crew. We see a creepy image of some sort of Cycloptic monster.

This episode is focused on build up. We get to see most of the seventeen best heroes of their world. While some are clearly based off of pre-existing heroes, Metal Knight = Anti-Social Iron Man, Bang = Old Man Iron Fist, and Child Emperor = any pre-teen super genius, but some are pretty unique, like Watchdog Man, that guy in the dog costume, and Pig God, the morbidly obese guy from earlier. We also get to see Puri-Puri Prisoner again. Still pretty creepy, but entertaining. And, while I say Space-Clayface resembles the DC’s supervillain, I just mean his powers. Appearance-wise he’s much more visually distinct, with multiple heads and apparently more than one personality. With his regenerative powers, it’s a shame that Saitama didn’t start from the bottom. He might have gotten a few more punches in against him. So yeah, building to an epic conclusion. Next time, episode 11. Two to go. 

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Viewer Log: One-Punch Man ep 9

And the fight begins! Genos hits the ground running, smashing Deepsea King’s face repeatedly with metal fists and energy weapons. Deepsea King survives and rips off one of Genos’ arms. Despite this, Genos plans to keep fighting, hoping to finish this guy off before Saitama arrives. Or at the very least give the civilians a chance to make a run for it. The Higher-ups of the Hero Association are starting to freak out a little. Despite the obvious destruction Deepsea King has and will continue inflict, they seem…cautious about bringing high ranking heroes into the fight. They try to call up Mumen Rider, but get Saitama instead. He’s got the free hands to answer the phone, since he’s riding on the spokes of Mumen’s bike. Despite their reservations, they agree to let Saitama proceed.

Reminds me of my Uncle's speedo, Mona.
Which, if you know my family, is less insane then it sounds.

Genos is still holding his own despite being partially dismembered. But then Deepsea King decides to fight dirty. He opens his mouth and spews acid at a little girl. God, the Deepsea King is the oddest combination of fishes/sea-life, isn’t he? Genos leaps into the way, and his body is pretty much melted into slag. An interesting side effect of this, we finally get to see how much “human” is left of Genos. From the look of things, he’s just got his original spine and presumably his brain. Other than that, all metal. So about as much a cyborg as DC’s Cyborg, really. Just when Deepsea King is about to finish Genos off, Mumen and Saitama arrive. Mumen flings his bike at Deepsea King, which only seems to mildly annoy him. Not all that shocking given the last episode. Mumen continues to fight, despite, you know, being so obviously outclassed it’s scary. He gives a pretty moving speech about fighting for others, and how he realizes that he’s pretty much a joke, but continues fighting because he wants to be a real hero. He inspires the crowd, who start cheering for him. Deepsea King isn’t so impressed, and shatters Mumen’s arm. Saitama then steps in.

Deepsea King is unimpressed by the follicly challenged hero, and rushes him. He punches Saitama so hard that the shockwave causes the rain to stop for a few seconds. Saitama doesn’t seem to notice. He winds up, and hits Deepsea King so hard that the rain clears, and most of Deepsea Kings internal organs get blown out.

He's after your crunchy, delicious bones.

The following day, Saitama and Genos get mail. Via drone. Apparently the fear of the ‘mysterious monster’ of City Z’s Ghost Town has gotten so bad no one wants to set foot in it. Again, I say, the Hero Association is run by a bunch of idiots. Genos gets a bunch of fan mail. Saitama gets death threats. Flashing back to the fight. After Saitama won, a Delusional Idiotic Conniption-having Kid in the crowd, see what I did there, starts spouting a bunch of BS. Basically, he thinks that because Saitama won so easily, then obviously the horrific monster that nearly killed several heroes and all of the civilians wasn’t all that powerful. Yep, it can’t be because Saitama is incredibly strong, everyone else must just suck. Then Saitama does something incredibly noble. He gives everyone else the credit. He loudly announces how lucky he was he arrived late and that the other heroes softened Deepsea King up for him. Being a bunch o’ dummies, the crowd bites and start praising the other heroes and decrying Saitama as a fraud. Ingrates. Saitama does get one mysterious “Thank You” note. So not everyone is awful.

Given his heroic action, he’s promoted to #1 of Rank C, and then accepts the offer to be promoted to Rank B. Number 1 in a class can be promoted to the next class, if they so choose. Mumen had always refused, because he realizes that a dude on a ten speed bike really doesn’t have a shot at the big leagues. For a dude that dresses in light armor, rides a bike and fights crime, Mumen’s goals are surprisingly realistic. There are some doubters among the execs, but at least Saitama is getting some recognition. After the promotion, he meets up with Mumen. They share some udon to celebrate. And Mumen reveals he sent the thank you note. All’s well that ends well. Can’t wait to see how it hits the fan again.

I’m happy to say that even after Nine episodes, One-Punch Man hasn’t had a truly bad episode. This episode is particularly well done because it showed us a side of Saitama that we haven’t seen yet. We’ve seen him be impatient, confident, vain, short-tempered, anxious, and slightly petty. It’s hard when your student is so much higher ranked then you are. Upon defeating the Deepsea King, he was given the chance to finally take the recognition and glory that has been eluding him since he became a hero. And he doesn’t take it. After seeing guys like Mumen, Genos, Stinger, and all the other heroes that got their butts kicked trying to stop Deepsea King, he realizes that making sure folks have heroes they can believe in is more important than him getting his due. It’s a pretty important moment for any hero. It’s kind of like any time Superman stops to thank Cops or firefighters, or when Handcock in Handcock starts telling police “Good Job.” It’s always good when the most powerful folks give credit where credit is due. And in the end, he gets a nice little reward with a peer. Always nice. Next time One-Punch Man Episode Ten. 

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Viewer Log: One-Punch Man ep 8

So this time around, the episode opens to a beast that suspiciously resembles dead Cthulhu dreaming in his house of R’lyeh. Read some H. P. Lovecraft if you don’t get the reference. Rather than being a Great Old One, this octopus headed monster is one of the “Clan of Sea Folk.” Like the Mole-Men of the first episode, he’s come to destroy the human race. Unlike the Mole-Men, he looks like he might actually be able to cause a fair amount of damage. The hero Mumen Rider races in to save the day, but arrives too late. Apparently Octopus-head chose to attack along Saitama’s grocery route. Never a good idea. Mumen starts looking into Saitama on message boards. Public opinion of the superpowered chrome dome is mixed at best. Side note, according to the internet, Mumen Rider translates to License-less Rider. Huh, it’s weird that a word like Mumen is the better of the two names.

Well, that's some more nightmare fuel.
Also, a tongue that drools... Tongue-ception?

An army of the Seafolk start attacking, but are thwarted by a hero named Stinger. He uses a supersized spear to turn a good chunk of the Seafolk into sushi, but one guy vs. an army is never a great strategy. Saitama, who is now Class C’s rank 2 hero, Genos, and Mumen start riding out to give Stinger a hand. Using techniques like Gigantic Drill Stinger Quadruple Thrust, try saying that three times fast, Stinger is able to destroy all but one of the Seafolk. Unfortunately, that one is the Deepsea King, the most powerful of the Seafolk, and a sadistic sociopath. The Deepsea King pummels Stinger, and leaves him for dead. Genos rushes ahead as the threat level is revealed to be Tiger. Mumen and Saitama are doing their best to get there as well. A hero named Lightning Max was observing from a far, but is easily dispatched by Deepsea King. He’s saved by Puri-Puri Prisoner, an S-Class hero that is soooooooooo obviously a gay stereotype. His bizarre backstory is that he allowed himself to be imprisoned because he has a habit of stalking attractive young men. Weird. He’s followed by Sonic, who used Puri-Puri’s escape to also fly the coop. Puri-Puri lands a few good hits, goes through a Sailor Moon style transformation, and seems to at least force Deepsea King back. But then Deepsea King strikes back, knocking the big lug out. Sonic steps in to protect Puri-Puri, and holds his own for a while. Then it starts raining. Deepsea King gets pumped up and starts getting close to smashing Sonic. Hey, he’s not called Speed of Sound Sonic for nothing. Deepsea King explains that he was dehydrated from being away from the water for so long, and that the rain helped him recover. Sonic is forced to flee, planning to get Puri-Puri away and get his equipment.

Why does he have hearts for nipples?
Or nipples at all? That's a mammal thing.

While on the road, Mumen and Saitama meet on the street, and agree to the ultimate C-Class team up. Saitama rides on Mumen’s bike while he peddles. Well, they are still C-Class, even if they are the number 1 and 2. Deepsea King and a few of his surviving minions attack a stadium where most of the populace is hiding. A low ranking C Class hero attempts to surrender to the Deepsea King, which doesn’t do much sate the King’s bloodlust. Several other C and B-Class heroes arrive, and they all attack the king.  He blows through the heroes, but their sacrifice buys enough time for Genos to arrive.

This episode was all about building tension. After the lesser Seafolk are dispatched, and their king arrives, it’s pretty much one beat down after another. Compared to previous villains, the Deepsea King is really the first legitimate threat to the world. Sure, the asteroid was a big deal, but that thing didn’t mow down heroes. And once he arrives at the shelter, it actually seems like he might start murdering civilians before the other heroes arrive. The C-Class heroes, while rather useless, do their job to show the difference between the average joe heroes and monsters like the Deepsea King, Genos has his work cut out for him. The design of the Seafolk and the Deepsea King are pretty good. Deepsea King is particularly creepy, with his almost human face and almost human body. Pretty good use of the Uncanny concept. The familiar, but alien. Other than that, there’s really not much else to say. But that’s the point of the episode, to build up what will happen next time. Next time, episode 9, the show down between machine and king of the Sea.

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Review: Batman v. Superman

So… Batman v Superman… The best way I can describe this movie is that it is profoundly okay. Which is strange. This movie had several good ideas, a great cast, and great effects. But in the end, the movie is just okay. Let’s see if I can analyze the film a little more with this review.

A so-so smack down.

So the movie opens to a very artsy rendition of the murder of the Waynes. You know this set up by now, wealthy family walks down the obviously named Crime Alley without a security detail, gets held up, and Thomas and Martha Wayne are killed. So sad, but then again, I think we’ve all seen this story played out several times. We then move on to Metropolis, eighteen months prior to the film. This section shows what Bruce was up to while Superman and General Zod were smashing through skyscrapers. Thousands die, billions of dollars in property damage, and ol’ Batman holds Superman 100% responsible.

We then cut to Lois Lane doing what she does best, getting kidnapped. She and a buddy were arrested in Africa while doing a story about some local terrorist group. The group is incredibly well armed, and has some highly trained mercs too. Just as the Interview is getting started, it hits the fan, the mercs murder most of the locals in the fortress and then Superman flies in to save the day. We cut to the US Capital, where Senator June Finch and her committee are trying to force Superman to fall in line with Governmental procedure. Anyone else think it’s ironic that her actress, Holly Hunter, also provided the voice for Mrs. Incredible?

At the same time, Lex Luthor is doing his best to get his hands on Kryptonite. Apparently the stuff was a byproduct of Zod’s attempt to terraform…er Kryptoform Earth. There’s a huge chunk that was uncovered in the Indian Ocean and Lex is chomping at the bit to get his hands on it. Finch is less than thrilled, feeling that making a “silver bullet” for Superman is a little extreme. Another of the Senators is more willing, giving Lex access to Zod’s body and the crashed Kryptonian ship.

Bruce and Clark meet at a LuthorCorp fundraiser. Bruce is there to steal info from Lex’s database, and Clark is there to learn as much as he can about the Batman. Bruce is thwarted by another partygoer, Diana Prince, who stole his hacking device. He tracks her down and she returns the drive without much fuss. While decrypting the drive, Bruce has a bizarre vision of the future where it looks like the world is being ripped apart by Superman, his cult of followers, and the Parademons of Apokolips. A traveler from the future gives him a warning about protecting Lois Lane and gathering “the others.” Bruce as Batman tries to steal the chunk of Kryptonite that Lex illegally imported. He’s thwarted by Superman, who demands that Batman cease and desist his vigilante activities. The new guy is pretty big for his britches, isn’t he? Batman has been operating in Gotham going on 20 years, FYI.

Pretty solid team. Batman must be feeling a little overwhelmed.

Finch then summons Superman to Capital Hill for a hearing. Superman relents, just in time for Lex to begin his master plan. Phase One: bombing the Capital, which many blame Superman for. One lady makes the idiotic argument that if Superman wasn’t involved, why did he disappear right after? If I was the only survivor from a bombing, I’d need to take a couple of days off too. Batman steals the Kryptonite from Lex, and starts manufacturing Kryptonite weapons. Lex works on Phase Two: using the fingerprints he sliced off of Zod’s body, he gains access to a hidden chamber of the ship. Side note, you’re telling me that Kryptonians, the highly advanced, super scientific race, would protect the most precious secrets of their race with a FINGERPRINT SCANNER? Idiots! Anyhow, he dumps Zod’s body into the Genesis Chamber, and then mixes his blood with the liquid. Despite the ships AI’s protest, he demands that they continue with the experiment. Another side note: Said DNA experiment was banned by the Kryptonian High Council, and yet they still allow their machinery to be able to DO said experiments? So strange.

While that’s going on, Lex begins Phase Three: forcing the Superman/Batman smackdown. How? Well, this plan is so brilliant that it puts Gene Hackman’s plan to shame. When Superman comes to confront Lex, Lex reveals that he is well aware of Superman’s dual identity. And as such has targeted his biggest weakness. No, not Lois. “Every boy’s special Lady, his mother,” as Lex so condescendingly puts. He doesn’t know where Martha Kent is being kept, but if he dies, she dies, and the only way to save her is for Superman to bring back Batman’s head. So either Superman kills Batman, ruining his image in the public, or he lets his mother die and is broken psychologically. Superman is forced to comply, but still tries to reason with Batman at first but the Bat isn’t interested. Using some well-placed traps, he goes toe to toe with Superman. This sequence is amazingly well done, showing off Batman’s brilliance and planning skills. In the end, he has Superman on the ground with a Kryptonite Spear pressed against his chest, and is only stopped when Superman starts raving about saving Martha. Bruce is stunned to hear Superman using that name, not realizing that both off their mothers are named Martha. After getting the info from Superman and Lois, the two split up. Batman to save Martha Kent, and Superman to confront Lex. Imagine his horror when he sees Lex’s final contingency plan for Superman somehow not killing Batman and still saving Martha, the DNA experiment… Doomsday. It’s up to Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman to save the day.

One punch to the mouth, and this is over.

As always, the Good first. Everyone is well cast. Ben Affleck is great as the older and battle weary Dark Knight. Haunted by demons of his long history, his mother’s death and the implied death of at least one Robin. Jeremy Irons is great as Alfred, adding a fair amount of dry wit to this dark film. “I hope the next generation of Waynes don’t just inherit an empty wine cellar… not that there is going to be a next generation of Waynes…” and “Even you grew too old to die young, not for lack of trying.” Who says this movie is without humor? Henry Cavill is good as a Superman that’s still struggling with how to live in the world and protect it. Glad to see that killing Zod hasn’t driven him to full on psycho. Jessie Eisenberg is having a ball as Lex Luthor. He’s quirky and clearly insane, but loving every minute of it. It’s especially entertaining when he’s explaining his evil plans. Gal Gadot is a surprisingly awesome and mysterious Wonder Woman. She’s mostly there to set up the sequel to this film, help out in the finale, and just generally being a badass. The effects are great, and I love the design of Doomsday in this universe.

The Bad next. In a word, the script. This movie was stuffed to capacity with exposition, set up, and more exposition. But this was kind of inevitable, since they were forced to not only set up the conflict of the movie, set up Batman and his backstory, and setting up the sequels and other heroes. There were large segments of Batman’s story that could have been cut. Like Batman searching for “The White Portuguese,” or showing him doing his ninja thing in Gotham. Which now includes branding thugs. We didn’t really need to see either to know Bruce is kind of messed up in the head. There’s a decent length sequence of Diana looking through Lex’s data on Metahumans and their powers that did nothing but set up the Flash, Aquaman, Cyborg, and Wonder Woman movies. Side note, I find it hilarious that there’s only one Metahuman in the Metahuman data bases. Amazon Princess, Human/Atlantian hybrid, machine infused human, and Metahuman speedster, weird right? Moving on, Lois had no reason to be in this film other than to cause conflict. Her kidnapping is what sets Lex’s plan into motion. Her advice seems to make Clark only make bad decisions. And she throws away the Kryptonite Spear, about ten minutes before everyone realizes they need it. Pointless. Sure, she learned Lex was behind the whole thing. Knew who else knew that? Me, ten minutes into the film. And Superman should have figured it out early on too. Just wasting time. Especially when her initial kidnapping was kind of pointless. I think the mess Superman left in Metropolis is more than enough to keep law makes busy for decades. Also, it's pretty clear that this conflict could have been solved with a Cell phone. Sups: Lex kidnapped my mom, set you up. Team up? Bats: Tots, I'll bring my gear and WW. Let's kick some ass. Simple right?

Final thought before my conclusion. I'm not SUPER well versed in DC Lore, at least not compared to my Marvel knowledge. So, I just feel like I need to ask any and all DC nuts that may be reading this. Is Gotham really just across the bay from Metropolis? I was always under the impression that there was some distance between DC's most iconic cities. 

Hm… This movie had a lot of things working for and against it. Overall, I’ve got to give it a C. A good cast, effects, and dry wit couldn’t save this film. The script was subpar, with many pointless moments. And, as my brother put it while we were discussing the movie after seeing it, we didn’t really learn anything about these characters. Two and a half hours of buildup and only a so so payoff. Do I recommend this movie? If after reading this review you’re still interested, then yes. Do I think you’ll love it? No. What should have been DC’s Avengers instead turned out to be it’s Thor: Dark World. How disappointing, but hopefully this will be the low point of the DC Cinematic Universe. We can always hope. Next time, back to One-Punch Man. 

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Viewer Log: One-Punch Man ep 7

This episode opens with a bang. Or more accurately, a promise of a bang. A colossal asteroid is headed straight for City Z. The S-Class heroes are called to City Z’s branch of the Hero Association, but when Genos arrives, he is only met by Bang, aka Silver Fang. Bang explains that City Z falls pretty low on other heroes’ priority list, so they’ll be the only ones to attempt to help. Genos, instead of being deterred, grabs his latest batch of upgrades and heads out. He’s temporarily distracted by Bofoi aka Metal Knight, another S-Class hero. He’s like Iron-Man in his Hulkbuster armor, big, bulky and bombastic. Bofoi, after demanding that he only be called Metal Knight, admits he doesn’t give a rat’s tookus about the populace and was only there to test out his newest weapon. Said weapon is flashy, but doesn’t seem to effect the asteroid.

Bang arrives and gives Genos a pep talk. After being motivated by Bang, Genos decides to go full force. He pulls up his primary power core and jams it into his cannon. He releases a super-powered blast, but much like Metal Knight’s barrage, it wasn’t enough. Saitama then arrives, super-leaps into the air, and One Punched the meteor. He flies through it, shattering it into a million pieces. The pieces rain down, destroying parts of City Z, but overall the destruction is less than it would have been if the asteroid had hit them directly.

This guy's muscles must be dense as a neutron star.

Three days later, and the populace is cleaning up. Genos is pretty depressed by the events of the day, believing that if Metal Knight and Saitama had teamed up, the destruction would have been lessened. Saitama takes a more Zen approach, believing it was and “okay day.” After saving the day, Genos is moved up from 17 to 16 in the S-Class, Metal Knight moves up from 7 to 6, and Saitama skyrocket from 342 to 5 in the C-Class. They also take a minute to explain the “Threat Levels” that often are mentioned before/during a major crisis. A Tiger Level Crisis is a threat that could lead to a massive loss of life, an Oni/Demon Level Crisis threatens to halt the functioning of an entire city or destroy it entirely, a Dragon Level Crisis threatens the destruction of multiple cities, and a Kami/God Level Crisis threatens humanity with Extinction.

Saitama gives an impressive little quote, “If heroes run and hide, who’s left to help?” Then Baka (Stupid) Top, excuse me, Tank Top Tiger and his brother, the even more idiotically named Tank Top Black Hole, arrive and are looking for payback for Tiger’s earlier humiliation. Black Hole comes up with a relatively brilliant plan, they loudly blame Saitama for destroying the town and try to incite a mob. The “ungrateful gits,” to quote various Harry Potter characters, are easily swayed and start demanding answers for why Saitama didn’t do a better job at saving the day. After thinking they’d broken Saitama’s will, Black Hole moves in for the final punch. Saitama easily overpowers the idiot and knocks him out. He then calls the crowd out on the BS, and points out that had he not shattered the asteroid, they’d all be killed insisted of just their stuff. Genos arrives and calls Saitama, and the two depart.

This was a good episode for two reasons. One, it shows us how Saitama handles ridicule. Like Spider-Man, while he might be heckled by those he protects, he won’t stop being a hero just because he’s not well liked. But, unlike Spider-Man, he’ll call out anyone that dares suggest he’s not a good guy. And, it does answer the important question of how they classify the crises that come up. They’d mentioned Dragon, Oni and Tiger Crises during several events before, but I’d no idea what that meant until this point. So the breakdown is Tiger=Bad, Oni = Very Bad, Dragon = Incredibly Awful, and Kami = Humanity is Hosed. Why Saitama didn’t realize this, despite being a professional hero and having lived in this world his entire life, I’ll never know. Next time, Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice review. These titles just keep getting longer and longer. Jeeze. 

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Viewer Log: One-Punch Man ep 6

The life of a hero can be rather… dull. Or at least that’s what Saitama experienced. Five days after officially joining the Hero Association in the last episode, and he’s done nothing. There’ve been no giant monsters or crazy mutant creatures attacking. Genos, who’d moved in Saitama earlier to do some intensive study of his master, informs Saitama of a small rule that he’s overlooked. As a C-Class hero, he’s got a quota that he has to meet. C-Class heroes need to do at least one heroic thing in a seven-day period, or they’ll be removed from the registry. And Saitama has spent the last five days laying around reading manga. Idiot. That’s a little harsh, since Saitama typically handles huge catastrophes and such, he’s not used to paying attention to the little things like muggers and “spur of the moment” crimes. But seriously, pay attention in meetings.

I don't care if he's "in  the Top Ten" of the C-Class.
No one would take this idiot seriously.

After giving Genos a BS speech about him “changing his mindset” in order to improve himself, really just didn’t want Genos following him and potentially inadvertently taking the credit, he runs off. Trouble is, there is no crime to stop. City Z is quite, when not being attacked by super-sized titans. Take the good with the bad. The following day, Saitama is starting to have a serious freak out. The face he ends up making makes me uncomfortable. He runs into Speed-of-Sound Sonic, who’s looking for a rematch. Saitama does his best to ignore Sonic, still looking for crime to stop, but Sonic is rather persistent. A local “hero” with the dumbest theme ever, Tank Top Tiger, arrives to handle the suspicious situation. Not Sonic, but Saitama. Apparently his mini-freak outs were making more than just me uncomfortable. Sonic, who’s tired of being ignored, knocks out Dumb Guy in Tiger-Print Tank Top and starts flinging kunai everywhere. Saitama, finally realizing that the solution to his problem is LITERALLY staring him in the face, knocks Sonic out, and meets his quota for the week.

Some officials from the Hero Association close the Sonic Case, but still have a more interesting Case open, the Ghost Town. This Case is so big, even an S Class hero named Tornado is interested in it. We learn that there is a district in City Z that is completely uninhabited. This District is hit hardest by the various monsters that attack City Z, so nearly everyone has moved out. Only the basic essentials of electricity and water still run there. Rather than “waste” Tornado’s time with the case, I get the implication the execs are worried she’d be overkill, two A-Class heroes are sent in to handle it. Golden Ball and Spring Mustachio travel through the Ghost Town, and meet a giant Seaweed Monster. Said Monster wipes the floor with them, all the while delivering some exposition. Apparently the Ghost Town is known amongst the monster community, and the toughest of the tough go there to try and defeat the unstoppable denizen of the Ghost Town. Then Saitama walks by. Hm… an invincible superbeing that thrashes the worst monsters, I wonder who it can be? He mentions forgetting to buy soup stock, before the Seaweed monster attacks. We don’t see the monster, but in a pretty dark twist, Saitama apparently killed it and was using it in his soup. Messed up.

The man can bite through a sword. Who can stand a chance?

I feel it’s important to mention that One-Punch Man started out as a manga. Actually, it started out as a web comic that was then redrawn as a manga, and then turned into an anime. I suggest looking into the original Web Comic, not because it’s good but because it’s ugly as sin. I’m really shocked anyone was interested enough in it to make the manga version. My point? Just like most other series, there are occasionally standalone stories in between longer story arcs. Sometimes it’s just one story, sometimes it’s a few, but either way it breaks things up a little. I bring this up because I know that the reason this feels like two stories is because it is. Part one, fighting Sonic, would have been one to three-chapter story, and the Ghost Town investigation would be another. Both segments, while largely unrelated, do help to shape the world they live in. We learn a bit about the hierarchy, C-Class heroes are the Spider-man/Daredevil/Batman sort that handle street crime and the “spur of the moment” crime. Life is always the hardest for rookies. We also learn that the Hero Registry is run by a bunch of idiots. Seriously, if they’d just run through their own Registry, they’d have seen a C and S-Class hero LIVE IN THE GHOST TOWN. Can you think of anyone better to get info about an area then from the guys that live there? But it is also interesting to learn that Saitama is a legend, even if people still don’t take him seriously. So yeah, while the stories don't connect very well, it's a fun episode to just see how more of this world works. Next time, either One-Punch Man episode 6, or my review of Batman V. Superman, depends on when my next day off is. Until then, have a great night.

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