Basics of Superheroes: Godzilla. Yes, not a superhero, I know.

Godzilla art horizontal Godzilla (2014) review

Post Modern or New Classic? Tough choice...

He’s big, green, mean, radioactive, and the strongest there is. Not talking about the Hulk this time, I’m talking about the King of Monsters, Godzilla. He’s technically not a superhero, but hey, this is the one place I’m in charge of so I can shoehorn whatever I’d like. Don’t like it, stop reading. Want to hear an unbiased opinion of the Not-So-Jolly Green Giant? Read on.

So, this is Godzilla’s first time on the American big screen since his less than stellar appearance back in the 90s. How did he fair this time? Awesome…by comparison to ol’ Zilla (this was the name that Toho, Godzilla’s parent company, gave to the American version once the film rights reverted back to them in 2004). In comparison to movies as a whole, and even to the old Godzilla movies it was okay at the very most.

This time around I’m going to break it down into three parts, Plot, the worst parts of the film as a whole, and then close off with the best parts. It’ll have you leaving, hopefully, on a high note.

Basic plot: in 1999 a Philippian mining operation accidently unearthed the skeleton of a massive creature. Implanted on this creature were a pair of parasitic eggs. One was still perfectly preserved while the other had recently hatched. The monster burrowed to a nuclear power plant in Japan run by Joe Brody (Bryan Cranston). The creature causes a massive nuclear meltdown, killing Brody’s wife along with many others.

There is no way that they should have thought this will work.

Fifteen years later the creature, dubbed MUTO (Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organism), hatches and begins terrorizing the human race. MUTO is capable of generating a powerful electromagnetic pulse, crippling humanity’s ability to track it. MUTO’s activities pique the interest of Godzilla. Godzilla hunts the massive insect as it crosses the Pacific Ocean in an attempt to meet its mate, the second MUTO that was taken to Nevada to study. It’s a race against time between the MUTO’s, Godzilla, and Mankind to see who will survive.

Now, what I’ve described sounds really interesting right? Unfortunately this plot is the minor part of the story. The main focus is on Joe Brody’s son, Ford (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), little boy turned Navy bomb disposal expert, as he goes from doubter to believer in his father’s crazy theories and witnesses the might of these primordial beasts.

File:Godzilla 2014 Official Main Trailer - 22.png

Kick-Ass, go be Quicksilver and let Godzilla do his thing

This leads to the worst part of the film, the focus. While it is called Godzilla, it really should have been called Brody; a Man and His Lizard. What I mean is that the film’s mostly about Ford. Ford and his father trying to find out what killed his mother. Ford trying to help the US military stop MUTO. Ford’s wife and son watching Godzilla. Ford watching Godzilla fight the MUTO. The titular monster doesn’t show up until about forty minutes in, and even then his first full body shot is cut off to show us what Ford’s family is up to. Sickening. I when in to see a movie about Godzilla kicking ass, not about a man watching Godzilla kicking ass and helping in a very minimal manner.

Most of the human lines uttered in this film were hammy and cliché. Occasionally a line really works, when delivered by Joe or Dr. Serizawa (Ken Watanabe), a scientist that discovered the MUTOs and is obsessed with Godzilla. But those lines are few and far between. Hamminess isn’t necessarily a bad thing, the old Godzilla movies had plenty of it and I love those, but the problem is that it’s too much ham. A Butcher would get sick of it.


TOO MUCH OF THIS! Let Godzilla smash

I think the writers and/or director for this film misunderstood what it is a Godzilla fan wants to see in a movie with the King of Monsters. We want a little set up from the humans, why other monster is attacking and how they get Godzilla to fight it, and then we just want to see Godzilla kick ass. No forced drama or emotional scenes. Lizard, nuclear breath, other monster, monster’s weapon, Godzilla winning, end of story. If I want to see a soldier overcoming obstacles I’ll watch Blackhawk Down, Saving Private Ryan, or Transformers 1-3 (also a movie that had too many people).

One last bad thing are the fight scenes. Don’t get me wrong, when you see them they are awesome. The issue is, YOU DON’T SEE MOST OF THEM! All of the fighting before the monster’s reach San Fran for their final show down is either A) cut down to give us more Brody time, or B) so covered in smoke that you can’t see a bloody thing. It really distracts from the epicness of giant monster fights.

Now there are some good things. For starters, the director and/or writers did learn from the mistakes from the 90s iteration. Godzilla is not the antagonist of the movie, but is instead the lesser of two evils. The blunt object that inadvertently protects humanity as a whole while serving its own ends. While he is shot at, the US government understands that the MUTO’s are the threat that deserves top priority.

Gave me chills every time.

The other good thing I will mention is the designs. I loved the designs of Godzilla and the MUTOs. Godzilla looks like what the 90s version should have, the old monster suit CGIed into a giant lizard king of death. When they first showed him in all his glory, mouth wide open roaring the epic, amazing, awesomeness that is his distinctive cry, it gave me chills. Every scale moved, every inch of his tail twitched, and when he opened his mouth to roar or atomic breath something to oblivion it was like looking down the barrel of the world’s deadliest gun.

GODZILLA 2014 - M.U.T.O. Monster Concept by DJ1NNsGR1MO1R3

Women are scary, regardless of species.

The MUTOs, who were grossly underplayed in the previews, were also well designed. The Male MUTO is significantly smaller than his mate and capable of flight. It moves at high speeds and serves as a scout and first line of defense for their nest. The Female MUTO is enormous, also matching Godzilla, and incredibly strong. She is able to throw Godzilla around a few times with her mate’s help. The monster’s eyes pulse with an eerie orange light that gives them an unworldly look. The MUTO’s, while very alien looking, were very clearly based off of insects, and the designers stuck with the theme very well. Perhaps the one move that deviated from this was that as the monster’s meet and the M MUTO presents a present to his mate they share an affectionate moment. I’m no Entomologist but I don’t think bugs are ever affectionate, even to their mates.

Overall, I give the movie a C+. I want to rate it higher, I really do, but there are just too many minuses and not enough pluses. Some lessons were learned from America’s earlier attempt at making a Godzilla movie, but a few really important lessons seem to remain. The human element really drags this film down, and the monster element is a little too choppy and shadowed to bring it back up. I recommend it for anyone that like Godzilla or needs an adrenaline fix, but be warned when the scenes are bad they are BAADDD. I’d still see a sequel though.