Review: Thor Ragnarok

Can Thor stop the apocalypse?

I want to take a moment to thank you all for your patience with this one, I’ve had a hell of a time getting to the movie theater of late. My paying job has kind of been forcing me to work twelve plus hour days, so you can imagine my energy to do… anything of late has pretty much been nonexistent.  But that’s my problem, not yours. Without further ado, Thor: Ragnarok, let’s get to it.

This poster is both trippy and awesome.

We open to Thor, imprisoned. Yeah, turns out he’s spent the last few years searching across the cosmos for the various Infinity Stones, hasn’t found any, and ended up imprisoned in the fiery realm of Muspelheim. He’s released from his cell to speak with Surtur, the king of Muspelheim. Surtur gloats about how the ‘end is nigh’ and how he’ll soon attack Asgard, merge his crown with the Eternal Flame in the Asgard treasure room, and destroy Asgard. This is how Ragnarok, the prophesized end of Asgard, will occur. He also offhandedly mentions that it will be an easy victory, as Thor had been captured and Odin was no longer on Asgard. Thor, having heard enough breaks free, smashes dozens of minions, relieves Surtur of his helmet, and tries to beat a hasty retreat. He has a little trouble, though, as Heimdall doesn’t answer his call for an exit. Why? He’s been fired and replaced by Skurge, an idiot. He isn’t doing his job, and instead trying to impress some ladies. After smashing through thousands of Eldjotnar (Fire Giants) and one massive dragon, Thor finally gets Skurge’s attention and he’s able to return home.

Asgard has changed pretty significantly since Thor last left it. Mostly due to the giant golden statue of Loki in the town square, noble Heimdall being replaced by the less then noble Skurge, and Odin whiling away his hours watching plays. Specifically, a dramatic ‘reinterpretation’ of Loki’s death in Thor 2. Fun fact, the play casts Sam Neill (Jurassic Park) as Odin, Luke Hemsworth (Chris Hemsworth’s older brother) plays Thor, and Matt Damon (Yes that Matt Damon) as Loki. How fun. Thor confronts ‘Odin,’ and forces him to reveal that he is in fact Loki in disguise. At Thor’s insistence, they travel back to Earth, where Loki stashed their father. Only to find the nursing home Loki dropped him off at had been torn down. They agree to keep looking, just before a portal opens up and Loki gets captured. Following a note that materialized as Loki fell, Thor goes to the home of Stephen Strange, and we get a recreation of the teaser scene from the end of Doctor Strange. After assuring Stephen that Thor will take Odin and, more importantly, Loki back to Asgard, he tells Thor where to go. He collects Loki and the brothers travel to Norway. Kind of an on the nose joke, don’t you think?

Odin reveals to his boys that he can’t come home with them, as their mother is calling to him. Frigga, as you may recall, died during Thor 2, so you can understand why that might be an issue. Odin apologizes to his boys about not being able to protect them anymore, and warns them that his death will allow a monster to be freed. Said monster is Hela, she is the God of Death and, in this continuity, Thor and Loki’s older sister. She was banished ages ago because of her destructive nature, and without Odin to stop her, she’ll arrive to take what’s hers. Odin dies and vanishes in a cloud of bright smoke, and then Hela appears in a cloud of dark smoke. She takes on her brothers, and easily bests them, even shattering Mjolnir into pieces. Let me reiterate, she took Mjolnir, a magic hammer forged in the heart of a dying star, enchanted by Odin, and used earlier in this movie to pin a dragon to the ground, and crushed it like it was bade of clay in her hand. Not good. Loki (understandably) panics and calls for a Bifrost exit, but Hela jumps into the bridge after them.

Two of the most hilarious characters I've seen in a while.

Hela tosses the two of them out of the Bifrost’s path, casting them to the far reaches of space, and proceeds to Asgard. Once she steps out of the bridge, she easily dispatches Thor’s friends Fandral and Volstagg, and then slaughters the Asgardian army and Thor’s third friend Hogun as well. She offers to give Skurge a job as her Executioner, which he takes. Not that I can blame him, personally. She seemed to have killed both of her brothers, The Warriors Three, and fifty of Asgard’s finest, I’d probably join her too. She then destroys a mural of Asgard history above Odin’s throne. The beautiful mural depicting Asgard as a realm of peace and prosperity was apparently plastered over the one that depicted Odin and Hela conquering eight of the nine realms and ruling with an iron fist. I have to ask, Why did Odin hang the murder mural in the first place? Seems kind of silly to me. She’s then reveals that the best of the best Asgard warriors were buried beneath the palace. She and Skurge travel into the treasure room. She then ignites her hand with the Eternal Flame, and then plunges into the catacombs where the warrior’s bodies, and her massive Wolf, Fenris, was stored. She used the flames and her magic to revive them. Next, she planned to take her undead army across the universe, reconquering the original nine realms and any other planet she finds. She’s thankfully thwarted by Heimdall, who reclaimed his Bifrost blade, effectively deactivating her best means of intergalactic travel.

Meanwhile, Thor crash lands on Sakaar, a planet on the far reaches of the universe. He’s nearly captured by some natives, but then actually captured by a woman called Scrapper 142. 142 brings him Sakaar’s ruler, a celestial called the Grandmaster. Thor discovers that his brother is there and, due to some weird time anomaly on Sakaar, has been there for weeks. Thor, dubbed the Lord of Lighting by Grandmaster, is forced to fight a gladiatorial match against the champion. Before the fight, he somewhat befriends a stony alien named Korg, and Korg’s insect friend Miek. Korg is mostly there to let Thor know how screwed he is fighting the Champion. Just before the match, Thor see’s 142 again, and realizes that she’s a Valkyrie, a legendary female fighting force that had been destroyed eons ago. She tells him to piss off, and starts drinking heavily. Thor is taken to Stan Lee, for a shave and a haircut, before being put into the ring. Only to find himself facing off against the Hulk.

Thor tries to talk things out, but Hulk isn’t interested. The two have a no holds barred slug fest, with Hulk initially proving stronger, but is pushed back when Thor is able to summon some lightning. The fight is ended when Grandmaster cheats and disables Thor using his ‘obedience disk.’ It’s an implant on his neck that electrocutes him if a button is pushed. He’s hit by a full-on Hulk body slam.

Something really weird had to happen
for Thor to rely on Loki again.

Meanwhile, Heimdall is doing his best to hide as many Asgardians from Hela as he can, sealing them in a hidden passageway in the mountains. He then also helps Thor see what is happening on Asgard, and advises him to go through a large wormhole on Sakaar to return to Asgard. That can see the whole Universe thing is super impressive.

Thor awakens in Hulk’s room, and tries to convince the Jade giant, and later the last Valkyrie, to help him escape. Both pretty much tell him to screw off. Well, not completely. Hulk points him to the Quinjet that brought Hulk to Sakaar, and Valkyrie kind of let’s Thor steal her pocket obedience disk remote to free himself. He makes for the jet and starts to get it working, but Hulk, who had a change of heart when he realized his friend was actually leaving, follows and accidently starts smashing the Quinjet. The last transmission from Black Widow plays, and it causes Hulk to violently revert back to Banner. Who is rather shocked to learn he’s been the Hulk for two years.

Valkyrie and Loki are tasked with find Hulk and Thor. But, during a scuffle between the two, Loki forces Valkyrie to relive her memories of the last fight of the Valkyries, where her sisters were slaughtered by Hela. Having a swift kick to her conscience, Valkyrie captures Loki, finds Thor and his human friend Banner, and agrees to smuggle them off Sakaar. Loki wants to come too, as if Thor leaves Sakaar will become a lot less pleasant for him, and offers to give Thor the access codes for Grandmaster’s ships. To help with their escape, Valkyrie frees Korg and the gladiators, instigating a rebellion.

Thor and Loki go to steal the ship. On the way, Thor reveals that he’d always admired his clever little brother, but also knows that they parted ways, metaphorically speaking, some time ago. On the way to the ship, Loki attempts to betray his brother, but is double crossed himself. How? Knowing Loki was going to pull some sort of underhanded trick to benefit himself, Thor stuck an obedience disk to his back when they were having their bro-moment and electrocutes him. Thor bids his brother goodby and steals a ship. He meets up with Valkyrie and Banner, and the three make a harrowing escape. Loki is discovered by Korg and company shortly later and tells him, “We’re gonna steal that big ship and escape. Wanna come?”

Oh.. do not like the look on her face.

Thor has a plan. He’ll lure Hela back to the throne room, battle her, and keep her busy long enough for Valkyrie and Banner to get Heimdall and the Asgardians to the Bifrost bridge. He’s able to draw Hela away, but the others have to deal with Skurge, the undead warriors and Fenris. Banner Hulks out and fights Fenris, while Valkyrie, Heimdall, and the late arriving Loki and the Warbound, fight the undead. It’s magic vs. steel, brother vs. sister, muscle vs. giant fangs. Who will win? Will Ragnarok begin? You’ll have to see the film to find out.

I think this movie really shook things up for Thor, in a good way. The once proud and confident god of thunder is once again stripped of his status and power, and once again has to reclaim his rightful place but it doesn’t feel like a retreading of the first movie. Unlike last time, Mjolnir is gone, there’s no quick way for Thor to find his powers again. He’s brought to his lowest point so as to find his inner storm again. Loki is great too. I can’t point out exactly when Tom Hiddleston’s character went from Thor’s antagonist to a sort of co-protagonist, but he really shines in this one. New character Valkyrie is really interesting too. She’d get along with Jessica Jones, I think, as the two drown their sorrows and bad memories in a very similar matter. Jeff Goldblum as the Grandmaster works, since they basically just had to ask Jeff Goldblum to play Jeff Goldblum, so yeah. All I need to say about Heimdall is that he’s Idris Ebla.

He's not in there much, but Surtur is
kind of intense.

Hela is an interesting character. Mostly because she’s not completely Hela. It seems like they took three existing female characters and sort of mixed together their qualities to get this top tier bad guy. We have Hela, who’s name and appearance this version uses, who is the Goddess of Death and often battled with Thor and others to get her hands on Asgard, or at least a part of it. She was mostly interested in conquering Valhalla, the warrior heaven of Norse myth. She was in charge of the Hel, which is basically Hell. But, she’s actually the daughter of Loki. Sort of. That’s a huge topic, though, for another time. Her background of being the long lost eldest child of Odin is taken from Angela, a newly created Marvel character. She was kidnapped as a baby and raised in the Tenth Realm of Heven, and her return causes lots of issues for her family, specifically her brother Thor losing his powers. So that’s where that comes from. She also has elements of the Enchantress mixed in. The Enchantress is a long time Thor villainess that wants to destroy Asgard so she can spirit Thor away and make him her enteral slave/boy toy. She also has Skurge the Executioner as her minion. Kind of like Ego the Living World in Guardians Vol. II, they reworked her as a character to fit the story they wanted to tell. And, like with Ego, it works well. Cate Blanchett is equal parts off-putting and terrifying in this movie, particularly when she has her fight face on. All those horns, I’m surprised she never stabbed herself.

Hm… what else? Oh, this movie is hilarious. Like I was nearly crying I was laughing so hard at points. Most of the best stuff is from soft spoken Korg, and by the Hulk, but everyone had at least one laugh out loud moment.  Easy example, when Stephen Strange releases Loki, he falls from the ceiling, hits the ground, and angrily yells “I’ve been falling for Thirty Minutes!” And when Loki sees his brother fighting the Hulk, he goes pale and says, “I need to get off this planet.” And many, many more bits.

I’d say that the point I was only sort of meh about was the deaths of the Warrior’s Three. I get that they were trying to demonstrate how dangerous Hela was by having her kill off some established characters, I just wish Volstagg and Fandral had had more of a fight against her, like Hogun did. Instead, their throats were cut and guts stabbed, with barely a fuss. I know they weren’t super crucial to the story, but it felt like they were getting gipped. Also, what happened to Sif? No one seems to have mentioned where she went…

I’ll give this one an A. It was a nice, new, and invigorating new chapter in the story of Thor. The scene where Thor is lecturing a stunned Loki could be looked at as this film in a nut shell. Essentially, Thor chastises his brother for lack of growth. Thor knows that his brother is the God of Mischief, and thus was able to easily plan a counter attack to stop Loki. It was easy because his magic cloning trick had become something Thor expected. In order for something to survive, it has to adapt, which I think Thor has. A once bland character is made very funny, and his once straightforward story has had a few curve balls thrown in. And, let’s face it, seeing Hulk fight a wolf the size of a dinosaur is one of those things that people didn’t realize they desperately needed until they had it. Go and see it, if you haven’t already.

https://imgur.com/gallery/6UN0X
http://marvelcinematicuniverse.wikia.com/wiki/Hela

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