What a strange three years its been.
Going to take a bit of a break from
X-Men: The Animated Series to cover Agatha All Along. Ya know I
have to keep on top of these Marvel Shows.
To reintroduce you to the title
character, Agatha Harkness is a literal witch from Salem Massachusetts. Her
coven, including her own mother, attempted to execute here for via magic for
dabbling in the dark magic of the Darkhold several hundred years ago. She
turned their spell around on them, killing the other witches. Centuries later
she discovered the Hex, the huge barrier that Wanda Maximoff created around
Westview, New Jersey. She wanted to learn how Wanda did it. Upon discovering
Wanda is trying to hide from reality by living in her sitcom world, she
inserted herself into Wanda’s world as “Agnes,” the noisy neighbor. She also
recruited and bewitched an actor named Ralph Bohner into a recast Pietro
Maximoff to further monitor Wanda. Wanda ultimately defeated her by carving
anti-magic runes into her Hex, taking Agatha’s powers away. Thinking she might
need Agatha’s help in the future, Wanda trapped her in her Agnes persona and
left her in Westview. Alright, that’s enough recapping. Let’s get to it.
Ep 1: Seekest Thou the Road
We begin with Agatha (Kathryn Hahn)
still believing herself to be Agnes driving a car down a misty road. She pulls
over upon reaching a crime scene and gets out of her car. We see a police badge
around her neck as she grabs coffees and brings them to her fellow detective Herb.
We learn that she’d recently been suspended for punching a suspect but was
called back in to investigate a Jane Doe murder the cops found. Herb brings her
to the scene, telling her they got tipped off by an anonymous call. They have found
a page from a Westview Library book in her pocket and evidence suggests she was
crushed. They reach the body, and we see a woman in a gray track suit, not
shoes or socks. Her toes and fingers seem weirdly blackened. Agnes starts
rubbing her neck and tells them to bag evidence. She has a look around and
finds a broach in a puddle that she pockets when Herb goes to talk to her. They
return to examine the body. Agnes asks the body who she is and what happened to
her, but obviously the body doesn’t answer. Herb notes that Agnes is acting
weird. Agnes says that the dead body has her in the dumps, but she’ll act
cheerier next time. She says to call her when they’ve got the body’s dental
records and storms off.
We get the title credits of this
‘show’ Agnes of Westview. So it seems like Wanda decided to have a little fun
with Agatha’s punishment and put her into a gritty crime drama. Neat. I snickered
when the credits mention that this show is based off the Danish TV series
WandaVision. Agnes goes to the Westview Library and cuts in line to speak with
a librarian, Dottie Jones, about the library card they found at the scene.
Dottie says that their system is all digital now so that card is basically
useless. Agnes loudly starts questioning Dottie as if she’s a suspect, so Dottie
runs the book title for information. The book is “Dialogue and Rhetoric: Known
History of Learning and Debate by Andew Ugo.” Dottie tells her that the book
wasn’t checked out, it was stolen three years ago. She does say they’re other
copies, so Agnes goes back to check it out. When she gets back there, she finds
the books burned, the ashes scattered on the ground. A man behind her whispers
that there was a fire that burned every copy of Dialogue and Rhetoric.
Later Agnes arrives at the Westview
Police Station. Inside, her Chief meets her and tries to talk to her about something,
but Agnes keeps cutting him off until they reach her office. Agnes guesses that
there’s going to be something that she doesn’t like about the news the chief
has because he keeps letting her stall him. He tells her that the dirt under
the Jane Doe’s fingernails have some microbes only found in Easter Europe.
Before he can say more, the bad news walks in, Agent Rio Vadel (Aubrey Plaza)
of the FBI. The Chief leaves and lets them talk. Agnes and Rio have history,
but Rio says that she’s willing to follow her lead on this one. She then looks
around and asks Agnes if this is really how she sees herself. When she doesn’t
react, Rio gets back to the case, saying that there were no tracks leading up
to the body. It’s like it just materialized there. Anges says that the key to
the mystery is in the location. Rio says that since Agnes has lived in Westview
her whole life, that makes her perfect to solve this case. She puts weighty
emphasis on that line, and Agnes’ name. Agnes seems spooked by this and tells
her to get out.
Agnes takes the broach to a
pawnshop and has it looked over by a friend of hers, Norm. He says that it’s 17th
century locket from Massachusetts, it’s got the triple goddess on the cover
(Maiden, Mother, and Crone) and inside it is a lock of hair. Norm offers to buy
it, but Agnes takes it back and storms off.
Later at the police station, Agnes
is trying to figure out how the book fits into things. She notes that the first
letters of all the words in the title spell out Darkh- before she can finish
the word she shakes herself, and then the chief comes in and tells her to go
home for the night.
Agnes returns home. It’s a quite
little house without anyone else in it. She enters a child’s bedroom and looks
sadly at it. The name Nicholas Scratch can be seen on an award in one corner. She
hears a knock and goes to investigate. It’s Rio. She says that it’s a
universally acknowledged truth that a lady cop can’t be good at her job and
have a healthy personal life, so she’s come offering Pizza. They have pizza and
beer. They seem to have a fun chat, Agnes tells Rio that she might have a lead
about the case. Rio says she’s not there for that but to continue. Agnes says
that there was a car accident in Eastview not an hour before TOD. When Rio
jokes that she didn’t think Agnes went that far from town, Agnes says she’s
worldly and Rio asks her where she’s been. Agnes freezes up, so Rio tells her
to continue. She goes on to say that airbags went off and that suggest there
might be two perps. Agnes says her gut is telling her that it isn’t right. Rio
asks if Agnes remembers why she hates her, and she can’t. She asks if Agnes is
hiding evidence, which Agnes denies. Rio says she’s just lying to herself. They
hear a noise upstairs and Agnes goes to investigate. She finds a thief (Joe
Locke) in the kids room. She chases the thief outside and down the street. He
gets hit by a car in the chase and knocked out. She checks to make sure that
he’s okay before arresting him.
Agnes brings him in and goes to
interrogate him. She asks him what he was looking for in her house and she gets
snark back. She kicks the chair, knocking him to the ground, but Rio taps on
the glass to tell her to back off. She pulls back and asks him what he’s after.
The boy says he’s looking for the Road. Agnes notices his blackened fingers,
but he says they’re covered in fingerprint ink. She asks where he was between 1
and 3 am, when the murder happened, and he says he was asleep. She makes an
exaggerated note about him being a loser or liar. She slaps down the pictures
and demands to know what he knows about the murder. The thief is extremely
confused by this, saying that they’re just pictures of flowers. Agnes looks
down and ya, the murder photos are now flowers. She then looks over at the
window where Rio was looking from and finds her gone. He asks her why she keeps
looking at that painting. She looks back and it is a painting. The teen starts
chanting in Latin or something, and the interrogation room turns into an old
parlor for a moment. Agnes grabs him and says he’s going to spend the night in
the tank.
Agnes heads over to the morgue,
chanting to herself that she saw a body. She goes inside and finds it empty.
She walks to the back, and that’s empty too. She chants the victims stats and
suddenly the body is on a slab. She goes over to look at it, on the toe is the
library card from earlier, as she looks at it the name W Maximoff appears on
it. Rio appears, asking if the case closed. Agnes asks how she died, and Rio
says wrong question. Rio says that that witch is gone, and she destroyed all
the copies of the Darkhold as well. She says that with that witch gone, Agnes
is trapped in her distorted spell, but she doesn’t have to be. Agnes starts
complaining about being hot and starts stripping. She shifts through all the
disguises she wore as Agnes in WandaVision. She seems particularly affronted by
her 70s/80s look. She peels back into the black and white version of Agnes from
the first episode. Rio says that there is two Jane Does in this case, she knows
one name, now she needs to remember the other. Agnes sees A Harkness appear on
the library card and then peals off the final layer.
She wakes up in her parlor
completely naked and then screams in fury. She goes outside and sees “Herb”
from earlier, her neighbor. She learns from him that she’s been in Westview for
three years and she angrily screams that this is Wanda’s fault. Herb, real name
John Colins, says that they try not to say that name. Agnes, growing angrier
asks what she’s been doing in this cesspool all this time. John says that she’s
mostly been a good neighbor, but lately she’d been acting weird, like she’d
suddenly gotten really into true crime. She looks around and sees “Dottie” and
the Chief, and the pawnshop guy jogging. John tries to give her a coat to cover
but she throws it off. John says that she seems weirdly lucid today besides
being naked. She tells him that her name is Agatha and she storms back to her
house. She finds she can’t use her powers and in the basement of her house her
nexus of power is missing too. She finds a rabbit and she cuddle it, saying she
was robbed. Wanda took everything she had and left her with household
appliances. She needs to get back top. She hears a thumping and goes to
investigate. She finds the Teen from earlier, tied to a chair with tape over
his mouth. She realizes that the arrest was a bit more of a kidnapping. She
realizes that if he’s real and not a figment of her imagination then that
means… Rio bursts in and tries to stab her with a knife. The two fight, throw
each other around. Agatha says that they can’t kill each other, but Rio will
find ways to make her wish she was dead. Agnes finally says that this isn’t
want Rio wants to beat her without her powers. Agatha says she just needs a
little time to get her powers back. Rio suggests she just try to take hers, but
Agnes says that’ll kill her. Agnes convinces Rio to give her a little time to
get her powers back, but Rio says that she’ll tell ‘them’ where to find her.
Who? The Salem Seven. They’ll be around soon to enact their revenges. She heals
a cut on Agatha’s before walking off. Agatha finds the Teen till strapped to
the chair and realizes she needs to handle him too.
That was certainly an interesting
way to start a season. Kathryn Hahn is great as both the grizzled cop Agnes and
the vindictive witch Agatha (The little we saw of her). She’s clearly having
fun with this role. The idea that this version of Agnes, grizzled cop on the
edge, was a recent cobbled together identity as Agatha tried to get her mind
back together is really funny to me. Like, she spent three years as the Nosy
Neighbor Agnes and then suddenly a switch is flipped and she’s playing
detective. I do wonder how much of what we saw happened in her house and how
much did she actually go around town doing? We’ll probably never know. The bit
where she’s finally gotten her memories back and interrogating John while nude
had me snorting. Anyway, Agatha’s back and now she needs to get her powers back.
That’ll be a fun journey to be on. The reveal that Rio is in fact a witch was
fairly obvious, as she seemed to be the only one that wasn’t completely playing
along with the delusion, but the fact she tried to kill Agatha on sight was
fun. I’ll be curious to see how that relationship develops. And I wonder how
the teen will factor in. He clearly wants something if he's breaking into a
crazy witch’s house, but what could it be? I suppose we’ll find out more next
time. I’m looking forward to it. See you later.
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/115051660/
Twitter: @BasicsSuperhero
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