The sad story of Weasel.
Last time on Creature Commandos,
we learned the sad history of GI Robot. Built in WW2, GI Robot served with Easy
Company and made fast friends with the group after saving their lives from a
Nazi ambush. In the years that followed, GI Robot wandered somewhat aimlessly,
as he was a machine designed to kill Nazis in a world where Nazis weren’t a
massive threat… at the time. He ends up getting passed around science types for
a while before becoming a collector’s item. He ends up in the hands of a
collector named Sam, who powers him back up. Sam seemed nice… until he took GI
Robot to a National Socialist party meeting. Things didn’t go well for anyone.
GI Robot was arrested and convicted. In the present, the Creature Commandos save
The Bride and Nina and realize that this was a distraction to get them away
from the palace so Circe could attack it. They rush back over and do their best
to break through the Sons of Themyscira and save the princess. Flag tells GI Robot
the Sons are Nazis and GI Robot has the time of his post war life obliterating
Nazis. His head is unfortunately blown off by Circe. Circe goes to kill the
princess, but is stopped by Weasel slashing at her and Phosphorous burning her
face. They have Circe captured but she swears that they’ve just doomed the
world. Enough recapping. Let’s get to it, shall we?
The story begins with Flag and Ilana
making out, the princess asking if he’ll be back to see her sometime. Flag says
that they need to bring Circe back to the states to interrogate her and figure
out why she chose to attack Pokolistan. Ilana says that she’s got strong
feelings for Flag, but he shuts this down and leaves the moment she brings that
up. Shock of shocks, the divorcee with a recently deceased son has commitment issues,
go figure.
We return to base where ARGUS agent
and recurring DCU character John Economos is getting coffee when he’s confronted
by Elizabeth Bates. She’s the Weasel’s lawyer and is demanding to see her
client. John tries to lie and say that Weasel is sick, something Elizabeth doesn’t
buy for a second, but the lie is proven anyway when they look out on the
airstrip and see Weasel getting off the osprey. He’s chasing a butterfly. Flag disembarks
and tells the Bride that, while she wasn’t exactly the best soldier he’s ever
worked with, he thought she did a good job and hopes that she’ll consider working
with him again if they need another Taskforce M field op. The Bride scoffs and
says she didn’t think she had a choice, but smiles a little bit, so I think she’s
not completely against the idea. She looks over towards the fences and sees a
blonde man staring at her.
We then cut to a pair of binoculars
and learn that someone else is staring at the Bride. Eric has arrived and bribed
a helicopter crew to get him in the air. He sees the Bride smiling at Flag and
immediately assumes that that smile means she’s in love with him. Note to any
insecure guys, a lady can smile at a fella for any number of reasons, attraction
does not have to factor into it. The lieutenant he’s with tells Eric who Flag
is. Eric seems to fixate on the fact that Flag has a beard, something that he’s
incapable of growing. The lieutenant is clearly weirded out by this but tries
to play nonchalant as he suggest they land and he be on his way. Eric goes into
a violent rage, grabbing the lieutenant and strangling him for, he thinks, thinking
that Eric is some sort of giant man-baby for his inability to grow facial hair.
The pilot tries to see what’s going on back there but Eric shrieks at him to mind
his own business.
Elizabeth marches out to the field
and calls out to the Weasel, who she calls John. She throws him a treat and
demands to know where Flag took her client. The two have an argument about the
Weasel, Elizabeth insisting on calling him John (John Doe) as they don’t have a
better name for him and it sounds less demeaning than the Weasel. Flag brings
up the whole 27 counts of murder of children, but Elizabeth insists that her
client is innocent. Weasel has a flashback
to his arrest; we see a burning school and some cops looking inside to see a
giant monster dragging a child’s body in its teeth. They open fire on Weasel,
and the flashback ends. Elizabeth says that Weasel is innocent, that he was
unfairly convicted, and the body count was actually 8. Like… 8 dead kids isn’t
a good situation, but it’s better than 27 I suppose. Flag is clearly fed up
with talking to her already and tells her to take the Weasel.
Erik crashes his copter and snaps
the neck of the pilot as he does. He steals a pen from the body and writes Rick
Flag on his palm before marching off.
We cut to the interrogation room. Circe,
looking like she’d just lost a fight with a blender and stove, is brought in
with her hands contained in heavy duty manacles. Flag, Amanda Waller, and John begin
the interrogation. After establishing that Circe isn’t able to cast spells
without her hands free and that she thinks Supervillain costumes are overly
sexualized, Waller demands to know what she was doing in Pokolistan. Circe says
she was trying to save their worthless lives. Circe claims she was trying to
kill Ilana to stop her from ending the world. Flag isn’t buying it, and neither
does Waller, who points out Circe’s resume is filled with murder and assault
charges. Circe says that she can show Waller what she’s talking about. John earns
his paycheck by listing off Circe’s powers, saying that she can’t cast spells
without her hands, but she is possibly clairvoyant and she can possibly use
that power without her hands. Flag tells Waller not to do it.
With Weasel, Elizabeth lays out the
photos of the kids Weasel is accused of murdering. She wants to see if the
photos might provoke a reaction out of him. Weasel, who is busy licking
himself, doesn’t seem interested. She draws his attention to the photos and
triggers another flashback. Weasel was watching the kids playing at the
playground at school. They see him, think he’s a neat animal and feed him to
draw him out into the open. In the present, Weasel looks like he’s tearing up
for a moment, but then eats one of the photos. The guards come in and take him
away, as their time is up. Elizabeth swears she’ll figure this out.
Back in the interrogation room, everyone
is one edge. Flag has a hand on his gun and is ready to draw. Circe asks if she’s
ready. Waller has just enough time to ask “ready for wha-” before being pulled
into a vision. She’s shown Ilana Rostovick leading an army of her power armored
soldiers in a war that spreads across the globe. It looks like at some point she
partners with Gorilla Grodd and fully overthrows the United States. We see
plenty of iconic heroes dead and strung up, including but not limited to the
Big Three (Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman) as well as Hawkman, Starfire, and
Peacemaker. The connection ends and Waller drops to the ground, screaming.
Circe is also tearing up, which I think lends credibility to the vision. Waller
joins the other two and admits that it felt… legitimate.
They call in Professor Aisla
MacPherson. She is a specialist on Themyscira and it’s history. Flag is skeptical
of the formerly mythical island nation but MacPherson and John both say
everything about the island is legit. MacPherson says that ten years ago Circe
predicted a tsunami would hit the island. Some sisters heeded her warning and
got off it, others didn’t and the ones that didn’t drowned within the hour of
Circe’s prediction. She says that since Circe has been less… altruistic with
her powers. Waller asks how they can be sure that the vision forced on her wasn’t
another less than altruistic moment. MacPherson says that Circe can’t make
visions, she can only see them. Flag still doesn’t believe it. He tries
to get Waller to not act, but Waller barely listens to him as she orders John to
get the Creature Commandos ready and to contact the Pokolistan Embassy to get
them clearance. Flag tries to go to bat for Ilana, but Waller says that bumping
uglies with someone doesn’t give you full insight into their character. Flag
tries to deny it, but Waller clearly already knows. He refuses to help with
this and storms off. When John asks her what to do, she tells him to get a new
team leader, one “who’s less whiny, little bitch, and more just bitch.” Oscar, BAFTA,
Emmy, Golden Globe, and Grammy award nominated and winner Viola Davis everyone.
We cut to the Bride and Phosphorous
in the mess hall. Phosphorous seems to be trying to keep a friendship with the
Bride, but the Bride isn’t exactly enthused by it. Their attention is drawn to
some inmates trying to steal Nina’s food. The Bride confronts the giant ape
creature that took Nina’s food and then kills him when he tries to brush past
her. Don’t disrespect the Bride or her team. Weasel then shows up and starts
licking the food off the floor. Phosphoros steals the food from ape man’s
friend and gives it to Nina, saying everyone is happy… except the dead ape man.
And his buddy. John comes in and tells the Commandos are heading back to
Pokolistan.
Flag drives from the base and tries
to warn the Princess what is coming. Dude must be smitten if he’s willing to
commit treason for her. Unfortunately, the agent he’s talking to doesn’t speak English
and tells him to call back. Flag pulls up to his house, and gets to the door
when Eric rams a stolen car into Flag’s tree just as he leaps out and attacks
him. They smash up his house as they wrestle, but Flag gets on his back and
points his gun at Eric’s eye to get him to stop. They have a slightly tense time
playing the pronoun game as they try to figure out what she either of
them are referring to before Flag realizes that Eric is talking about The
Bride. He says that she’s not his type, and Eric angrily stops as he says she’s
everyone’s type. He says that Flag is also everyone’s type. Flag thanks him for
the weird compliment and asks if he can get off Eric’s back and they can talk. Eric
lets him down, and Flag offers him coffee, and Eric asks for tea.
He fills Eric on what happened and
Eric agrees that Flag can’t let the princess be killed when they have this
great love for each other. Flag isn’t sure it’s exactly love, but he knows she’s
not the monster Circe claims. It’s clear that Eric doesn’t completely understand
the world around him as he keeps comparing things to romantic movies, and
claims that he and the Bride are meant to be together but aren’t. Like in When
Harry Met Sally. Flag is clearly weirded out by this but suggests that
maybe they could help each other. Eric declares that they’re best friends.
On the flight on the osprey back to
Pokolistan, Nina asks the Bride why she helped her. The Bride shrugs and says
she owed Nina for almost getting her killed. Nina says she doesn’t think they’re
exactly even, as getting gross food back isn’t comparable to near death, but they
both laugh at that comment so they’re clearly in a better place. The Bride
tells Nina they’re headed back to Pokolistan to kill Ilana, and they’re not allowed
to know why. Nina asks if she’s going to kill the Princess, and The Bride says
that “one less human, leaves more room for monsters to roam.”
We flashback to when Weasel was playing
with the school kids. Everyone is clearly having a fun time. A stray ball
pushes open the door to the school. A mushroom hunter walks by and sees Weasel
aggressively chomping at a ball and then all the kids and Weasel rushing inside
to do pranks in the school and assumes the worst. Can’t exactly blame him with
how thick Weasel’s chompers are. The hunter runs back to his shack and grabs
his gun as he calls for the police. The kids and Weasel end up in the basement,
playing with some matches, and a liquor bottle they found in one of the desks.
In a lot of things going wrong at once, the bottle breaks as a match light up some
paper, the hunter comes down with his gun and assumes the playing Weasel is
attacking the kids. He shoots at Weasel, missing and causing the generator to
leak fluid. Weasel leaps to try to save the kids but then the generator
explodes. Weasel sees the blonde girl is still alive and tries to save her, but
the cops see him dragging a kid by the collar of her shirt, assume the worst
and shoot at them. He tries to escape with the girl, but is shot several times
by the cop. He rushes to try to get her out, but the cops hit him several times,
causing him to drop the girl and she’s buried in burning rubble. He sobs as
they drag him away, clawing feebly to try to get back to the little girl. In
the present, Nina asks what he’s dreaming about and the Bride says, “probably
just chasing squirrels.”
If you had told me back in 2021
when The Suicide Squad came out that I’d be tearing up at the backstory
of the freaking Weasel, I’d have called you a liar. But that was truly a tragic
string of circumstances that lead to all that death. And like… the reactions
were all largely reasonable… except for maybe the cops opening fire on a
creature with a child in its jaws. I know, monster with kid, shoot at monster,
but maybe not until you can try to get the kid away. I can’t even really blame
the mushroom hunter for calling them, as again, Weasel’s got those razor-sharp
teeth and fangs. Thinking he’s a monster seems reasonable, until you’re with
him for five minutes and realize he’s only as aggressive like… a wolfhound.
Could they screw some stuff up? Absolutely, but so long as you don’t piss them off,
they just want belly rubs and ear scritches. I do like that he’s got a lawyer
that’s trying to help him. Is Elizabeth going to be able to, as ‘John Doe’ is
somewhere between an intelligent animal and a mentally handicapped man? It
doesn’t look good, but it’s good that someone is trying. The present plot is
interesting… just because it does feel like Flag is giving up a lot to protect
someone he’s known for like a day and a half. Sure, ya, they boned, but as
Waller said, that doesn’t really give you all there is to know about a person. Him
and Eric teaming up should be interesting. I laughed out loud when Eric called
him a DILFy Piece of Shit. The vision Circe had was interesting… and full of
fun Easter Eggs. Does it seem odd that a princess of a backwater country
leading an army powerful enough to end multiple super humans that include
freaking Superman seem unlikely? Ya… but there’s magic in this universe,
anything is possible. I do hope we hear more about how this plan might be
carried out, if it turns out to be true. But we’ll have to wait and see
tomorrow. Have a good night, everyone.
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/viewer-log-ep-4-142296467
Bluesky: @basicssuperhero.bsky.social
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