Flag and Eric are on the hunt. It goes about as well as you might guess.
Last time on Creature Commandos,
we learned the tragic history of the Weasel. The large animal man was sentenced
to life in prison after the deaths of seven children and one elderly man, but
we learn that it wasn’t his fault at all. The children found the anthropomorphic
animal watching them while they played at school and befriended him. A passing
hunter saw Weasel roughhousing with them and assumed the worst when he saw the
creature’s jaws and claws and the kids play running away. He cornered Weasel
and the kids in the basement of the school and shot at him with a rifle,
causing the massive explosion that killed him and six of the kids instantly. Weasel
tries to save one of the little girls, but the cops who arrived at the scene
assumed the worst of him, shot him several times, and unintentionally caused
the girl’s death. Weasel’s lawyer has her work cut out for her, given that her client
is clearly mentally incompetent. Meanwhile, Waller interrogates Circe and
learns that the sorceress has clairvoyant powers that she can share. Circe
shows her a vision of the future where Princess Ilana leads a bloody crusade
across the world, taking it over and killing Earth’s greatest champions. They
have a Themyscira expert, Professor Aisla MacPherson come in to consult, and
she insists that Cersi’s powers are the real deal. Flag refuses to help and
storms off in disgust. He’s followed by Eric Frankenstein, who mistakenly
believes the Bride is in love with Flag after the two laughed together. They fight
in Flag’s house, but come to an agreement after talking it out. Flag agrees to
help him with the Bride if Eric helps him prove MacPherson is somehow wrong about
Circe’s vision. Enough recapping. Let’s get to it, shall we?
We begin with Professor Aisla MacPherson
beginning a lecture on Themyscira. The weird thing is she seems to focus on one
of her coeds, calling the girl beautiful and seeming to try to get information
about Themyscira out of her… ya know, the topic she’s a Professor of. When the
student lists off some thematically appropriate but ‘boring’ topics, MacPherson
goes to the chalkboard and writes LESBIANS and tries to get the students to talk
about that. Flag and Eric watch all this from a window overlooking the class
and agree that’s… and odd teaching method. When they’re stared at by some of
the other students, they act like they’re searching for Eric’s contact lens in
a bush. When the students lose interest, Eric asks how this helps him get his
Bride. Flag explains, probably not for the first time, that this is his half of
their arrangement. Eric helps him discredit MacPherson, and then they can go to
the Creature Commandos, stop them from killing Ilana and then Eric gets to be a
hero in front of the Bride. He is very excited by this idea, and asks if he
gets to kill MacPherson… or some of the students. Flag tells him that he’s not
going to be that kind of hero. He suggests they search MacPherson’s home while
she’s working, and Eric proudly proclaims he’ll start the search in MacPherson’s
underwear drawer… I’m starting to see why the Bride was correct in not being
into him.
After the intro we visit the murder
of Victor Frankenstein, an act Eric performed in a delusional belief that with
their maker and her lover dead, The Bride will finally love him. She instead
attacks him, sets the building on fire and then runs off in the night. Leaving
him dying in flames. In the present, Flag tries to call Ilana again, but still
can’t get through to a representative that speaks English. Eric is wasting time
drinking through a crazy straw.
The Creature Commandos touchdown in
Pokolistan and meet with Alexi again. The vaguely Slavick guard captain asks
about this new threat to his princess, but the Bride keeps mum, saying that
this information is need to know and he doesn’t. He makes some comments about how
Pokolistan lasted a hundred years without anything weird happening, but within
a few years of opening communications to the US, it’s threats every day. The
Bride just kind of shrugs and the group heads out.
Flag and Eric arrive at MacPherson’s
house. Eric is distracted by a woman walking a cat and takes that as a
potential bad sign. Flag isn’t really listening and makes some noncommittal noises
at him. Eric is pretty sure it’s a bad sign, saying that he learned from a…
Romani woman who was steeped in the occult. They used the other word for
Romani, I’m choosing to not transcribe it. We return to the flashback, Eric
stumbling from the burning mansion in flames. He makes it to a river and douses
the flames. But he passes out from the pain and travels down river for a few
miles. The following morning the blind Romani woman’s dog finds Eric’s dog and
she and the dog drag him back to her home to nurse back to health. She covers
his wounds in salves as he awakens and grabs her hand, asking what tomfoolery
this is. She explains about the salve having healing properties and he lets her
keep rubbing. He recovers a bit and helps her pick apples. He asks why she
doesn’t look at him when she talks and she informs him that she’s blind. He
says that the only thing that makes life worth living is beauty and if he couldn’t
see, he’d end himself. The old woman laughs as if that were an off-color joke
and Eric waxes nostalgic of his beautiful Bride… who I must remind you definitely
hates him. A lot. The old woman tells him to close his eyes and has him picture
the Bride, showing that there can be beauty just in the mind’s eye.
In the present they look around
MacPherson’s home. They split up and look around. Eric is briefly distracted by
a cat and a possible leash, and then his reflection in a helmet. Flag notices
blood on the upper level and finds MacPherson’s body seated at her desk, her
throat slashed. He calls Eric up and they look her over. They can tell she’s
been there for a bit so the MacPherson that met with Waller was probably a body
double. He calls Ilana, and for once gets through to her. She clearly was
expecting a booty call of some kind, not a warning of immanent death by
Creature Commandos. Dude is, again, committing treason for this gal. So odd.
Eric keeps trying to get a word in as well, trying to build credit with the
Bride. Flag tells her to run, and then notices the fake MacPherson pull up. He
tries to hide, while Eric pisses and moans about Flag not saying anything to
Ilana about him. Again, as part of a plot to make him look good to the Bride.
Flag says that the Bride is going to kill Ilana, and that they aren’t going to
sit down and chat. Eric points out that he’s starting to suspect this plan is
pointless from his point of view. Flag orders him to hide, and so he stands
behind a birdcage. Still in full view. An increasingly angry Flag tells him to
hide under the bed, which he begrudgingly does as MacPherson opens the door.
In the past, Eric brings a wild
turkey, telling the old woman, Donna, that she has to cook it. He admits that
he’s at peace with them, and that he enjoys shooting things with the shotgun.
He thanks her for letting him rest and recover, and she goes so far as to tell
him to think of this place as his home. She says that her and her dog Ivan have
never been happier since he arrived.
In the present, the Commandos are
forced to listen to Alexi’s music as they drive. He answers his phone and clearly
gets told about the Commandos assassination plan. Alexi tells them that there’s
traffic to the castle and says they’ll be taking an alternative route. Phosphorous
and the Bride clearly pick up something is weird but let it slide for how.
MacPherson feeds the cat, calls it
an idiot, and then sits down to play some Xbox. Immediately the woman’s form
melts and distorts until a human amorphous being of… clay is sitting in her
place. Flag confirms that that is in fact Batman villain Clayface and that he’s
extremely dangerous. They’ll have to sneak out.
Alexi meanwhile drives the
Commandos around, stopping the car and pretending that they’re having engine
trouble. They’re then surrounded by a hit squad, and Alexi pulls a gun on the
Bride. Phosphorous, clearly annoyed by all this, radiation heat punches through
Alexi’s head, killing him. Though he says that it’s a shame as he liked Alexi.
Flag and Eric make it to the door,
but as Eric points out, Clayface noticed them and shot clay tentacles at them. They
dor their best to fight him, but the shapeshifter is in a weightclass above
them. He engulfs Eric in his clay to suffocate, and beats Flag to a bloody pulp.
Eric is able to force himself through to reach a wall socket and eelectoductes
them both. He’s fine, though, cuz, ya know, gave him life.
Phosphorous and The Bride make
short work of the attacking guards. The Bride attacks a guard, rips his arms
off, and uses his blasters to kill his comrades. Phosphorus strips down, and melts
his way through a tank, and it’s drivers, with his middle fingers extended.
Nina and Weasel run off and do their best to hide. The Bride does her best to
search for them, but approaching guards cause her to run off.
Eric cradles an injured Flag. He
thinks Flag is dying and begins to ask him a bunch of burning questions. Like
if the Bride ever mentioned him or said his name fondly. Flag tells him to tell
the Bride the truth before passing out.
In the past, Eric prepares to leave
Donna’s house despite her begging him to stay. She tries to make him see reason
and understand that the Bride doesn’t love him, but he refuses to believe it. He
thinks the whole ‘setting him on fire’ thing was a mating ritual. Donna asks
why he locked Ivan out of the house, and he says he’s not sure the dog would
understand. Donna sobs, saying she doesn’t want to be alone again, and Eric
says that he’d never let her suffer that. Before beating her to death with her
kettle.
At the castle, Ilana meets with her
new guard captain, Sergi, and says that while she likes the Commandos, they’re
being misled by their government and must be killed.
The episode ends with Eric leaving
Donna’s house, whistling for Ivan to follow, which the dog does.
Eric Frankenstein is a wonderful example
of psychopathic behavior. Donna clearly loved him, she nursed him back to
health, fed him, gave him a home, and that all didn’t matter compared to Eric’s
fixation on the Bride. Beating her to death to spare her the pain of loneliness
makes logical sense to a coldblooded mind, but it was still chilling to see. His
interactions with Flag were pretty funny. I get the sense that he’d be 1000%
more useful if he wasn’t constantly thinking about how to impress the woman
that has spent the last two centuries making it excruciatingly clear she isn’t
interested in him. His single-mindedness would almost be funny if he didn’t keep
hurting people. The reveal of Clayface was pretty good. He’s a talented actor
in most incarnations, so it’s believable that he could fool someone like Waller
if given enough prep time and money. The use of his powers were pretty freaky,
with his tentacles going every which way and beating two guys at once. The Clayface
that is scheduled to come out sometime next year was what I was most
excited for post Superman, and this little cameo definitely keeps my
hype high. The Commandos at work was both cool and disturbing. Phosphorous in
particular was brutally efficient in using his powers to kill people. I think
Flag’s worries about being around that much radiation were pretty warranted at this
point. I’m sorry they killed Alexi; he was a fun dude. So that’s The Bride, GI
Robot, Weasel, and Eric’s backstories down, guess that just leaves Phosphorous
and Nina to cover. Neat. Hope there’s are only slightly traumatic.
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Bluesky: @basicssuperhero.bsky.social
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