Review: Justice League

Swing and a miss.

I’ll start this post off with a little personal background info. In school, I sucked at Math. Not worst in the class, didn’t understand it at all sucked, just, rarely got the correct answer sucked. I’d learn a formula, or something, seemingly understand it fine, but when I executed it, I’d forget a key step and thus fail miserably. I imagine that my math teachers from, I’d say, fifth through twelfth grade all had the same thought. “He’s trying, but is just not getting it.” And that’s how I feel about Justice League, it seems like everyone involved is trying, but somehow just not getting what is needed for a smash hit. Let’s get to it, shall we?

Not shown: Superman
The guy that ends up doing 90% of the work.

We open to a quick montage of people missing Superman. Since his death, crime has apparently steadily risen, and a number of smaller time heroes have disappeared. Batman, meanwhile, has noticed something worse is rising. He runs down some no name thug, and then dangles him off a roof. Why? To draw out his quarry. Apparently, the fear stink of the thug is strong enough to draw an insect like monster, a Parademon. After a quick scuffle, Batman gets it stuck on a chimney, which causes the monster to self-destruct. Halfway around the world, Diana Prince is forced to stop a terrorist group from bombing the heck out of local bank. Like Batman, she seems uneasy about what might be about to happen.

As if on cue, a guarded treasure of the Amazons began to react. The treasure, a Mother Box, reawakens, and calls out to it its master, an alien conqueror called Steppenwolf. Steppenwolf arrives via a Boom Tube, a portal in space time. Steppenwolf plows through the Amazonians, quickly stealing the Motherbox despite the Amazon’s best efforts. After gloating to the surviving Amazonians, Steppenwolf escapes through another Boom Tube. Queen Hippolyta, realizing that the earth is pretty much boned if Steppenwolf gets what he wants, sends a warning to Diana, via a magic burning arrow.

Realizing the danger, Diana rejoins Bruce. She explains what they’re facing. Steppenwolf invade Earth thousands of years ago with his Parademons and three Mother Boxes. The Mother Boxes were used in a ritual called the Unity, which combined them together and cause a chain reaction that wipes out all life on the planet. Steppenwolf was pushed back by an alliance of Amazonians and Greek Gods, Atlanteans, and mankind. They got a little back up from the local Green Lantern, but Steppenwolf kills him really quick. Once Steppenwolf and his forces were removed from Earth, the Boxes were divided amongst Earth’s champions. The Amazons and the Atlanteans kept their Boxes in guarded chambers, while humans, in classic human fashion, elect to bury it so no one can have it. Realizing getting the metaphorical band back together is kind of impossible, getting the all the nations of the human race together alone is kind of a tall order, the heroes elect to make their own team and handle things themselves. The two heroes set about recruiting the other metahumans they’d learned about from Lex Luthor’s files to their team. Bruce goes for Arthur Curry aka Aquaman, and Barry Allen, aka the Flash. Curry isn’t interested, not too subtly telling Bruce to piss off, but Barry is open to saving the day. He, and I quote, “needs more friends.” He and Bruce make it back to his makeshift Batcave. Diana tries to talk to Victor Stone, aka the Cyborg, but the young man also isn’t interested in helping. At least, he says he isn’t, he changes his tune when he learns that his father, Silas, had been kidnapped by Steppenwolf.

Ciaran Hinds, maybe you and Nick Cage just shouldn't do
Superhero movies. It just never seems to end well.

Under da sea, Steppenwolf attacks Atlantis to get the second box. He defeats the Atlantian guards, but is slowed down by Aquaman joining the fray. He gets his hands on the box, though, and teleports away. Aquaman is confronted by Mira, a servant of his late mother, who convinces him to take action.

In Gotham, the three heroes are drawn to the top of the Gotham City Police Department, and get intel from Commissioner James Gordon. He shows them a map of recent missing persons. They’re all S.T.A.R. Labs employees, but nothing else connects them, nor can they figure out what the focal point of the attack is coming from. Cyborg joins them, and is able to pin point that Steppenwolf is hold up under Gotham Harbor. The team gathers up in Batman’s ride, a vehicle called the Crawler, and travel through the abandoned facility beneath the Harbor.

Using the Flash’s speed, and the others firepower, the group is able to save the kidnapped employees. Unfortunately, Steppenwolf floods the room before using another Boom Tube to escape. They’d probably all drowned, but Aquaman uses the hole to get into the facility and uses his water powers to hold the flood back as they escape. After that, Victor grabs the final Mother Box, which he’d hidden from his father. Victor explains that his father, in a rather insane attempt to save Victor’s life, used the Mother Box on him. The energies of the device healed Victor’s injured body, but also transformed his body into living machinery. Batman theorizes that, simply, the energies that the Box puts out could revive or heal just about anyone, but the energies are just too intense for human bodies to survive. But… what about someone stronger? Someone who’s cells could take repeated abuse on a colossal scale. Someone who was, in a way, already made of Steel. Diana and Arthur are against the plan, as they’re worried bringing back someone from the dead is not only ghoulish, but highly dangerous. They worry that, Superman may return, but he might leave a little of himself… back where he’d been resting. Batman assures them that he will have a contingency plan should Superman return broken.

They exhume Superman’s body from the Kent family plot, and bring him to the crashed Kryptonian ship. Using the incubation chamber in the ship, the Mother Box, and an electric jolt from Barry, Superman is revived. Clark Kent rises, literally, but isn’t completely there. He’s confused, and…irritable after his nap. He attacks the team, humiliating the other heroes. He’s stronger then Aquaman and Wonder Woman, more than durable enough to take Cyborg’s firepower, and can even keep pace with the Flash at his highest speed. Batman arrives and tries to talk him down, but Superman only seems to remember that they had had… issues. He nearly heat-visions Batman to slag, but is stopped by Batman’s contingency, Lois Lane. Superman calms down, but then flies off with Lois, back to Smallville. While all that had been going on, Steppenwolf Boom Tubes in and takes the last box back to base.

In retrospect, using minions that mindlessly
attack anyone that is afraid is kind of a
stupid idea, isn't it?

Despite being outclassed, outnumbered, and underprepared, the group track down Steppenwolf and prepare to attack. He’d set up out in the most rural of Russian villages, beneath a former nuclear silo. Can the team stop Steppenwolf and save the world? We’ll see.

The good section is short, unfortunately. The actors are all top tier, I love everyone in their parts, from Gal Gadot, Henry Cavill, Ben Affleck and the other returning cast, to the newbies like Ezra Miller, Jason Momoa, J.K. Simmons, and Ray Fisher. Ezra Miller in particular is phenomenal as the most comedic member of the group, often breaking up more intense scenes with some levity. There are few scenes sprinkled throughout the film, bonding moments that are done really well. For example, Barry and Victor are tasked with getting Clark’s body. They have a moment, where Barry points out how creepy it is to rob grave Mother Trucking Superman, and he and Victor bond a little as the least experienced heroes. There’s also a good moment where Bruce, after getting tossed around by Superman, is setting his dislocated shoulder. Diana joins him and helps him pop the bone back into place, and the two have a moment. Some of the effects were good. I liked the Boom Tubes’ effect, seeing one of the most iconic means of transport in the DC Universe brought to life was pretty cool.

This guy right here is one of the best elements
of this movie.

Now that we’ve gotten the good out of the way, onto the bad. Most of the effects are terrible. Particularly on Superman. For those who don’t know, post production of Justice League was handled by Joss Whedon, who took over for Zack Snyder after Snyder took a leave of absence following his daughter’s suicide. Whedon completely reworked and added in several scenes. This called for Henry Cavill to do some reshoots. Unfortunately, he was working on Mission: Impossible 6 at the time which called for him to have a scruffy mustache and beard. Paramount Pictures refused to allow Cavill to shave, as it would put production of their movie behind. Since Superman doesn’t really do facial hair, the guys upstairs decided to just digitally remove the hair. The end result is bad, like really really bad. Like, Grand Moff Tarkin’s CGI face in Rogue One bad.  It’s just… unnatural. Same goes for the motion capture effects used to turn actor Ciaran Hinds into Steppenwolf. It looks unnatural, and at no point did I believe that Steppenwolf was in the room with anyone. Steppenwolf kind of has the same issue as Ares had in Wonder Woman. Both characters are played by respected actors, but neither Ciaran Hinds nor David Thewlis could physically portray their character when the fighting started. So, they try to overcome it with Motion Capture for the close ups, and CGI for the far away stuff, but the result is that I don’t believe the character is in the room. I especially find it funny that they reworked Steppenwolf’s appearance so heavily. Just do a quick Google search, Steppenwolf DC, and you’ll see what I mean. For those that don’t want to, New Gods come in all different shapes and sizes. Some, Like Darkseid, his son Kalibak, and chief adviser and backstabber Desaad could not pass as human. Others, like Darkseid’s heroic son Orion, the equally heroic Scott Free, the deceptively named villainess Granny Goodness, and, yes, Steppenwolf could easily pass for mortals. In looks, not when they show off their powers. I just don’t understand making more work for yourself like that.

The final massive negative is the plot. It’s littered with plot holes, and unexplained circumstances. Like, a huge thing in the finale is Batman using a noise that attracts the Parademons to make a hole in the forces for the others to slip passed. How did Batman learn about this noise? Never explained. Or there’s Steppenwolf’s return. So, he was kicked off Earth and waited millennia for another crack at it, which came when the Boxes called out to him after Superman’s death. So… why didn’t the Boxes call out sooner? Like when Ares went insane and killed the other Greek Gods? Or when the Atlanteans were driven under the sea? Or when the “Tribes of Men” got too big, prideful, smug, stupid, lazy, shortsighted, pigheaded, stupid stubborn to ever work together again? Seems like there was ample opportunities to come back and conquer between when he was kicked off the first time to the five years Superman was running around. The Dark Ages for example, or during WWI or WWII. Just saying. And there’s a lot of cringe worthy info dumping. Like when Aquaman and Mera are talking after the attack on Atlantis. We get a painful three-minute-long back and forth where we learn about Arthur being left on his father’s doorstep, the trust issues he has because his mother clearly didn’t want anything to do with him, Mera explaining why Atlana did that to her boy, and that he needs to step up and be King. Which is weird, since that implies either no one is in charge of Atlantis right now, or Orm aka Ocean Master is. Either scenario doesn’t lend itself to the idea of guards being posted around the ancient relic. Just saying. Barry and his backstory about trying to help his falsely convicted father, he was framed for murdering Barry’s mom, also has this problem, but to a lesser extent. I can see a father telling off his kid for putting too much effort in a lost cause more than I can see a guy telling a strange woman about his mommy issues. And on a similar note, there’s a lot of telling not showing. We’re told things are getting worse. We’re told Superman’s death has people shaken up. We’re told that some characters are having specific issues. But there’s little showing. Other than the opening montage, and a short bit with Lois Lane and Martha Kent sprinkled in the action, we see very little turmoil. There’s a bit where Diana claims that Bruce had been baiting her to get angry, using her lingering grief over WWI era love interest Steven Trevor’s death, so she’ll step up and lead… but I didn’t get that at all in context. I just thought Bruce was feeling like an ass.

Overall, this is D list movie. A good cast and okay effects cannot ever make up for a lackluster script, the vast majority of the CGI and Motion Capture being dog poo, and just being dull. Seriously, in the climax, Batman separates from the group in the Batmobile to draw off the Parademons. The others save him and point out that a suicide run isn’t the way to lead a team. And it’s only then that I realized that it WAS a suicide run. At no point was I fearful for Batman’s survival, or the least bit concerned that someone might get hurt or die. I just thought he was going to draw off the Parademons and then dip, you know, because Batman. I hope we get more DC movies, I really do, but they NEED to change SOMETHING. One out and out good film, several okay movies, and whatever Suicide Squad and Justice League end up being remembered as, is not a winning line up. All I’m saying.

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Twitter: @BasicSuperhero

https://www.warnerbros.com/justice-league
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steppenwolf_(comics)
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/dccu/images/1/17/Parademon_JL.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20171008222323

Viewer Log: Voltron ep 27

It's a game of Wolves and Bobcats. It's like cat and mouse but both animals have a chance at winning.

Sorry this took a while; my day job has me working 14-hour days right now. Since December 3^rd I’ve been up at 4 am to get to work by 5, and mostly haven’t left until 6 or 7. I hope you can understand that, when one has at best two hours of free time in a day, that pleasure projects like their blog suffer. Got to love Christmas time. As such, I haven’t gotten Justice League ready yet. I know, I’m terrible. The good news is that I should have seen it, written it up and posted it by Sunday or Tuesday of this week. Fingers crossed. Until then, let’s enjoy a little more Voltron.

How does he get all that hair in his helmet?

Okay, so when we last left the Voltron Paladins, not only had they been able to drive off Prince Lotor and his forces, but they were also able to slap a tracer onto his ship and are now tracking them down. The group warp to the latest location of Lotor’s ship, but at about an hour’s distance away. They want to fly in and hopefully surprise him. Hunk is the first one to point out that going in guns blazing might not be the best idea. Why? Well, he and Pidge are the only two pilots that don’t need to make any adjustments. Both Keith and Lance are flying two completely different Lions at this point, and Allura is just learning to pilot period. When 3/5ths of your team isn’t use to the machine they’re in, odds are not in your favor. But, Keith disagrees. He seems to be under the impression that if they can take out Lotor, then anything is worth the risk. Which, I can kind of get, cutting down another Gulra leader so soon after the last one might cripple the empire beyond recovery. But, on the other hand, Lotor isn’t one to go down easily.

Case in point, Lotor and his crew were able to detect the Lions tailing them, and is already planning a counter measure. Rather than attack the group with the main warship and risk damaging it, Lotor opts to take his own personal vehicle to deter the Paladins while his ship preps for a warp. He flies out to meet them. Keith, seeing Lotor’s ship, orders a charge. And things pretty much immediately start going haywire. Black Lion is too slow, both in movement speed and reaction time, for Keith’s liking, Red Lion is too fast, with too sensitive controls for Lance to operate effectively, and Allura is pretty much pressing buttons and pulling levers at random. Lotor easily out maneuvers everyone, and smacks the lions around for a while, while the team flounders. The Paladins try to form Voltron, but the disharmony between the Paladins and their Lion’s kind of makes that impossible. Unfortunately, Lotor notices this and decides to capitalize on it.

He flies off, trying to lead the Paladins to the planet Thayseriks. Thayseriks has a completely uninhabitable terrain, an atmosphere of 90% poison gases that are difficult to see through, and a weird magnetic field that makes tracking difficult. Lotor, who knew all of this, prepped his ship for the conditions and used the unique conditions of Thayseriks to his advantage. The Paladins follow, and are easily split up thanks to the death planet’s atmosphere and Lotor’s piloting.

Keith and Lance end up in ear shot of each other, while the other three are scattered. As per usual, Keith and Lance start fighting. I feel like I should make some sort of crass comment about the two of them getting a room, but that’s beneath me. The arguing finally stops when Keith actually listens to Lance, hell having finally frozen over, and realizing that his leadership qualities haven’t really been up to snuff today. They decide to regroup with the others.

Outside the planet’s atmosphere, Lotor’s generals have called in their closest fleet as back up. The main reason why they’re still sitting things out, though, is that Thayseriks’ atmosphere is REALLY unstable in places, as in massive explosions can be caused if the wrong pocket of gas is ignited. So, the four Half-Gulra elect to wait for an opportune moment to strike.

First days are hard enough without laser fire or death threats.

The Paladins have been able to regroup by this point, but they’re still dealing with a highly maneuverable enemy on hostile ground. Lotor continues to outfly them despite their best efforts, tricks them into firing their weapons, causes a massive explosion to separate them again, and ultimately targets the weakest link, Allura. The princess has got a lot of skill, but she’s still only been a Paladin for like two days, so that designation is kind of understandable. Allura is able to shake off Lotor, but is clearly on her last frayed nerve by the time she finds cover.

Keith and Lance end up finding each other, again, fight again, and Lance motivates Keith to do better, again. There’s a fair amount of rinse and repeat with these two. Meanwhile, Hunk and Pidge link up again. Hunk asks the obvious question of their tech guru, can she do something to level the playing field. Unfortunately, the single worst place to ask for tech modifications is when a psycho alien is liable to leap out of nowhere and pepper your ship with holes. Yeah, Pidge is good, but her hands are pretty much tied right now.

Allura, having hidden out in a crevice on the planet’s surface, is trying desperately to get Blue to work with her. She tries to use the Lance approach, which comes across as her hitting on the giant robot, but I guess Blue isn’t impressed. She ultimately swallows her pride and flat out begs Blue to help her out, which causes the mecha-cat to finally sync with its new pilot. Just in time for Lotor to find them. Allura flies off. Thankfully, bonding with Blue let her access the Lion’s more advanced arsenal, namely its sonic weaponry. Using the big sonic blaster as a sonar device, Allura is finally able to outfly Lotor. She leads him into a pocket of the explosive gas, then circles around and uses Blue’s Freezing cannon to coat his ship’s left wing in ice. Lotor bails, just in time for his fleet to arrive.

Victory is Voltron's, for now.

The Paladins are able to meet up. They form Voltron, summon the Leo Saber, and smash the heck out of the bulk of Lotor’s minions. They elect to allow Lotor to escape, so that they can prep and train for another fight. Unfortunately, Lotor has a similar plan. He puts it best, the Paladins bringing Voltron back again isn’t a problem, it’s “an opportunity.” How sinister.

This episode does a lot with a relatively simple premise. The team spends most of the episode flying around an alien planet that is forcing them to adjust to their new roles. Keith gets several painful examples of his lone wolf, shoot first ask questions later, mentality not working when he’s coordinating a team. Lance is forced to repeatedly, and loudly, both berate his teammate (which he’s used to and enjoys) and add moral support when he can (which is new to him and he doesn’t enjoy as much). Allura has the worst of it, as she has to do inn an episode what the others took most of two seasons to accomplish, learning to fly and bonding with her beast. It’s a tall order, but she’s able to figure it out. I get the sense that Lotor is little more hands on then his father was. Don’t get me wrong, Zarkon wasn’t above getting his hands dirty, but that was typically when his goal was within sight. Otherwise, he seemed content with sending warships and soldiers to do the day to day battling. Lotor, on the other hand, decided to be the distraction rather than leave the job to anyone else. Granted, he probably had the best small fighter piloting skills of any of his minions, but nobody said he HAD to fight the Paladins. He’s an incredibly clever fighter, perfectly willing to force the paladins to fight the environment as much as himself. His plan might have worked too, if Keith, Lance and Allura hadn’t worked out their personal issues in such a timely manner. Just saying. The next time we visit the Paladins, things get weird… weirder. 

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/15888549
Twitter: @BasicsSuperhero

Review: Thor Ragnarok

Can Thor stop the apocalypse?

I want to take a moment to thank you all for your patience with this one, I’ve had a hell of a time getting to the movie theater of late. My paying job has kind of been forcing me to work twelve plus hour days, so you can imagine my energy to do… anything of late has pretty much been nonexistent.  But that’s my problem, not yours. Without further ado, Thor: Ragnarok, let’s get to it.

This poster is both trippy and awesome.

We open to Thor, imprisoned. Yeah, turns out he’s spent the last few years searching across the cosmos for the various Infinity Stones, hasn’t found any, and ended up imprisoned in the fiery realm of Muspelheim. He’s released from his cell to speak with Surtur, the king of Muspelheim. Surtur gloats about how the ‘end is nigh’ and how he’ll soon attack Asgard, merge his crown with the Eternal Flame in the Asgard treasure room, and destroy Asgard. This is how Ragnarok, the prophesized end of Asgard, will occur. He also offhandedly mentions that it will be an easy victory, as Thor had been captured and Odin was no longer on Asgard. Thor, having heard enough breaks free, smashes dozens of minions, relieves Surtur of his helmet, and tries to beat a hasty retreat. He has a little trouble, though, as Heimdall doesn’t answer his call for an exit. Why? He’s been fired and replaced by Skurge, an idiot. He isn’t doing his job, and instead trying to impress some ladies. After smashing through thousands of Eldjotnar (Fire Giants) and one massive dragon, Thor finally gets Skurge’s attention and he’s able to return home.

Asgard has changed pretty significantly since Thor last left it. Mostly due to the giant golden statue of Loki in the town square, noble Heimdall being replaced by the less then noble Skurge, and Odin whiling away his hours watching plays. Specifically, a dramatic ‘reinterpretation’ of Loki’s death in Thor 2. Fun fact, the play casts Sam Neill (Jurassic Park) as Odin, Luke Hemsworth (Chris Hemsworth’s older brother) plays Thor, and Matt Damon (Yes that Matt Damon) as Loki. How fun. Thor confronts ‘Odin,’ and forces him to reveal that he is in fact Loki in disguise. At Thor’s insistence, they travel back to Earth, where Loki stashed their father. Only to find the nursing home Loki dropped him off at had been torn down. They agree to keep looking, just before a portal opens up and Loki gets captured. Following a note that materialized as Loki fell, Thor goes to the home of Stephen Strange, and we get a recreation of the teaser scene from the end of Doctor Strange. After assuring Stephen that Thor will take Odin and, more importantly, Loki back to Asgard, he tells Thor where to go. He collects Loki and the brothers travel to Norway. Kind of an on the nose joke, don’t you think?

Odin reveals to his boys that he can’t come home with them, as their mother is calling to him. Frigga, as you may recall, died during Thor 2, so you can understand why that might be an issue. Odin apologizes to his boys about not being able to protect them anymore, and warns them that his death will allow a monster to be freed. Said monster is Hela, she is the God of Death and, in this continuity, Thor and Loki’s older sister. She was banished ages ago because of her destructive nature, and without Odin to stop her, she’ll arrive to take what’s hers. Odin dies and vanishes in a cloud of bright smoke, and then Hela appears in a cloud of dark smoke. She takes on her brothers, and easily bests them, even shattering Mjolnir into pieces. Let me reiterate, she took Mjolnir, a magic hammer forged in the heart of a dying star, enchanted by Odin, and used earlier in this movie to pin a dragon to the ground, and crushed it like it was bade of clay in her hand. Not good. Loki (understandably) panics and calls for a Bifrost exit, but Hela jumps into the bridge after them.

Two of the most hilarious characters I've seen in a while.

Hela tosses the two of them out of the Bifrost’s path, casting them to the far reaches of space, and proceeds to Asgard. Once she steps out of the bridge, she easily dispatches Thor’s friends Fandral and Volstagg, and then slaughters the Asgardian army and Thor’s third friend Hogun as well. She offers to give Skurge a job as her Executioner, which he takes. Not that I can blame him, personally. She seemed to have killed both of her brothers, The Warriors Three, and fifty of Asgard’s finest, I’d probably join her too. She then destroys a mural of Asgard history above Odin’s throne. The beautiful mural depicting Asgard as a realm of peace and prosperity was apparently plastered over the one that depicted Odin and Hela conquering eight of the nine realms and ruling with an iron fist. I have to ask, Why did Odin hang the murder mural in the first place? Seems kind of silly to me. She’s then reveals that the best of the best Asgard warriors were buried beneath the palace. She and Skurge travel into the treasure room. She then ignites her hand with the Eternal Flame, and then plunges into the catacombs where the warrior’s bodies, and her massive Wolf, Fenris, was stored. She used the flames and her magic to revive them. Next, she planned to take her undead army across the universe, reconquering the original nine realms and any other planet she finds. She’s thankfully thwarted by Heimdall, who reclaimed his Bifrost blade, effectively deactivating her best means of intergalactic travel.

Meanwhile, Thor crash lands on Sakaar, a planet on the far reaches of the universe. He’s nearly captured by some natives, but then actually captured by a woman called Scrapper 142. 142 brings him Sakaar’s ruler, a celestial called the Grandmaster. Thor discovers that his brother is there and, due to some weird time anomaly on Sakaar, has been there for weeks. Thor, dubbed the Lord of Lighting by Grandmaster, is forced to fight a gladiatorial match against the champion. Before the fight, he somewhat befriends a stony alien named Korg, and Korg’s insect friend Miek. Korg is mostly there to let Thor know how screwed he is fighting the Champion. Just before the match, Thor see’s 142 again, and realizes that she’s a Valkyrie, a legendary female fighting force that had been destroyed eons ago. She tells him to piss off, and starts drinking heavily. Thor is taken to Stan Lee, for a shave and a haircut, before being put into the ring. Only to find himself facing off against the Hulk.

Thor tries to talk things out, but Hulk isn’t interested. The two have a no holds barred slug fest, with Hulk initially proving stronger, but is pushed back when Thor is able to summon some lightning. The fight is ended when Grandmaster cheats and disables Thor using his ‘obedience disk.’ It’s an implant on his neck that electrocutes him if a button is pushed. He’s hit by a full-on Hulk body slam.

Something really weird had to happen
for Thor to rely on Loki again.

Meanwhile, Heimdall is doing his best to hide as many Asgardians from Hela as he can, sealing them in a hidden passageway in the mountains. He then also helps Thor see what is happening on Asgard, and advises him to go through a large wormhole on Sakaar to return to Asgard. That can see the whole Universe thing is super impressive.

Thor awakens in Hulk’s room, and tries to convince the Jade giant, and later the last Valkyrie, to help him escape. Both pretty much tell him to screw off. Well, not completely. Hulk points him to the Quinjet that brought Hulk to Sakaar, and Valkyrie kind of let’s Thor steal her pocket obedience disk remote to free himself. He makes for the jet and starts to get it working, but Hulk, who had a change of heart when he realized his friend was actually leaving, follows and accidently starts smashing the Quinjet. The last transmission from Black Widow plays, and it causes Hulk to violently revert back to Banner. Who is rather shocked to learn he’s been the Hulk for two years.

Valkyrie and Loki are tasked with find Hulk and Thor. But, during a scuffle between the two, Loki forces Valkyrie to relive her memories of the last fight of the Valkyries, where her sisters were slaughtered by Hela. Having a swift kick to her conscience, Valkyrie captures Loki, finds Thor and his human friend Banner, and agrees to smuggle them off Sakaar. Loki wants to come too, as if Thor leaves Sakaar will become a lot less pleasant for him, and offers to give Thor the access codes for Grandmaster’s ships. To help with their escape, Valkyrie frees Korg and the gladiators, instigating a rebellion.

Thor and Loki go to steal the ship. On the way, Thor reveals that he’d always admired his clever little brother, but also knows that they parted ways, metaphorically speaking, some time ago. On the way to the ship, Loki attempts to betray his brother, but is double crossed himself. How? Knowing Loki was going to pull some sort of underhanded trick to benefit himself, Thor stuck an obedience disk to his back when they were having their bro-moment and electrocutes him. Thor bids his brother goodby and steals a ship. He meets up with Valkyrie and Banner, and the three make a harrowing escape. Loki is discovered by Korg and company shortly later and tells him, “We’re gonna steal that big ship and escape. Wanna come?”

Oh.. do not like the look on her face.

Thor has a plan. He’ll lure Hela back to the throne room, battle her, and keep her busy long enough for Valkyrie and Banner to get Heimdall and the Asgardians to the Bifrost bridge. He’s able to draw Hela away, but the others have to deal with Skurge, the undead warriors and Fenris. Banner Hulks out and fights Fenris, while Valkyrie, Heimdall, and the late arriving Loki and the Warbound, fight the undead. It’s magic vs. steel, brother vs. sister, muscle vs. giant fangs. Who will win? Will Ragnarok begin? You’ll have to see the film to find out.

I think this movie really shook things up for Thor, in a good way. The once proud and confident god of thunder is once again stripped of his status and power, and once again has to reclaim his rightful place but it doesn’t feel like a retreading of the first movie. Unlike last time, Mjolnir is gone, there’s no quick way for Thor to find his powers again. He’s brought to his lowest point so as to find his inner storm again. Loki is great too. I can’t point out exactly when Tom Hiddleston’s character went from Thor’s antagonist to a sort of co-protagonist, but he really shines in this one. New character Valkyrie is really interesting too. She’d get along with Jessica Jones, I think, as the two drown their sorrows and bad memories in a very similar matter. Jeff Goldblum as the Grandmaster works, since they basically just had to ask Jeff Goldblum to play Jeff Goldblum, so yeah. All I need to say about Heimdall is that he’s Idris Ebla.

He's not in there much, but Surtur is
kind of intense.

Hela is an interesting character. Mostly because she’s not completely Hela. It seems like they took three existing female characters and sort of mixed together their qualities to get this top tier bad guy. We have Hela, who’s name and appearance this version uses, who is the Goddess of Death and often battled with Thor and others to get her hands on Asgard, or at least a part of it. She was mostly interested in conquering Valhalla, the warrior heaven of Norse myth. She was in charge of the Hel, which is basically Hell. But, she’s actually the daughter of Loki. Sort of. That’s a huge topic, though, for another time. Her background of being the long lost eldest child of Odin is taken from Angela, a newly created Marvel character. She was kidnapped as a baby and raised in the Tenth Realm of Heven, and her return causes lots of issues for her family, specifically her brother Thor losing his powers. So that’s where that comes from. She also has elements of the Enchantress mixed in. The Enchantress is a long time Thor villainess that wants to destroy Asgard so she can spirit Thor away and make him her enteral slave/boy toy. She also has Skurge the Executioner as her minion. Kind of like Ego the Living World in Guardians Vol. II, they reworked her as a character to fit the story they wanted to tell. And, like with Ego, it works well. Cate Blanchett is equal parts off-putting and terrifying in this movie, particularly when she has her fight face on. All those horns, I’m surprised she never stabbed herself.

Hm… what else? Oh, this movie is hilarious. Like I was nearly crying I was laughing so hard at points. Most of the best stuff is from soft spoken Korg, and by the Hulk, but everyone had at least one laugh out loud moment.  Easy example, when Stephen Strange releases Loki, he falls from the ceiling, hits the ground, and angrily yells “I’ve been falling for Thirty Minutes!” And when Loki sees his brother fighting the Hulk, he goes pale and says, “I need to get off this planet.” And many, many more bits.

I’d say that the point I was only sort of meh about was the deaths of the Warrior’s Three. I get that they were trying to demonstrate how dangerous Hela was by having her kill off some established characters, I just wish Volstagg and Fandral had had more of a fight against her, like Hogun did. Instead, their throats were cut and guts stabbed, with barely a fuss. I know they weren’t super crucial to the story, but it felt like they were getting gipped. Also, what happened to Sif? No one seems to have mentioned where she went…

I’ll give this one an A. It was a nice, new, and invigorating new chapter in the story of Thor. The scene where Thor is lecturing a stunned Loki could be looked at as this film in a nut shell. Essentially, Thor chastises his brother for lack of growth. Thor knows that his brother is the God of Mischief, and thus was able to easily plan a counter attack to stop Loki. It was easy because his magic cloning trick had become something Thor expected. In order for something to survive, it has to adapt, which I think Thor has. A once bland character is made very funny, and his once straightforward story has had a few curve balls thrown in. And, let’s face it, seeing Hulk fight a wolf the size of a dinosaur is one of those things that people didn’t realize they desperately needed until they had it. Go and see it, if you haven’t already.

https://imgur.com/gallery/6UN0X
http://marvelcinematicuniverse.wikia.com/wiki/Hela

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Twitter: @BasicSuperhero

Viewer Log: Voltron ep 26

Change begets more change.

This next episode opens on the planet Puiga, the planet that had just liberate itself from the Gulra last time. They seem to be in the process of rebuilding their planet after all of the smashing that just took place… just in time for the Gulra Fleet to warp in. Shoot. The commander of said fleet is Lotor himself. Double shoot. Rather than dispatch a full invasion force, Lotor instead elects to send his generals, whom are under orders to take their enemies alive whenever possible. Each of these four alien hybrids have a specialized skill set that makes them a force to be reckoned with. We have Ezor, the primarily orange one that can camouflage herself and specializes in ambush tactics; Zethrid, a beefy blue half-Gulra that is the muscle for the group; Narti, she looks like a lizard, doesn’t have eyes, but uses some kind of telepathy to see the world around her; and Acxa, probably the most Gulra looking of the group who seems to prefer long ranged weaponry. You may remember Acxa from Belly of the Weblum, where Keith saved a helmeted Gulra soldier from within the bowels of a massive space eel. She pulled a gun on him and fled with a bag of Scaultrite, a crystal material that the Weblum produces in its stomach.  The four generals plow through the Puigan defenses, and capture their chieftain. Lotor lands and speaks with the chieftain. He mocks the Puigan’s faith in Voltron, and offers him a job.

Narti, the one without eyes, freaks me out the most.
Then there's her space-cat.

Back at the Castle of Lions, the group is trying to figure out the best way to replace the Black Paladin. The Paladins ask Allura if she can’t just use whatever psychic powers she used to match the original five with their respective Lion. She says that, while she had been able to do it then, it was because doable because the five were in front of her. It’d be a lot harder to mentally scan the known universe for someone who has what it takes to pilot Black Lion. Keith offhandedly mentions that Shiro had wanted him to take the top spot in his stead, but he doesn’t want it, and it just leads to everybody arguing over why they think they should be Black’s pilot. Coran calms them down, and Allura tells them the plan. Basically, they’re all going to sit in the pilot’s seat and see who Black reacts to. Sound plan.

Allura goes first. Then Pidge, Hunk, and Lance in turn, but Black doesn’t even twitch. Then Keith steps up. He basically prays from the moment he sat down for the machine to not react. His prayers are, unfortunately for him, not answered. Black starts reacting, and the group needs to focus on the new pilot problem. Namely, that if Keith is piloting Black, he really can’t be expected to pilot Red too. Keith tries to turn down the position, but Lance, of all people, puts his confidence in Keith and tells him to do it. Keith, knowing Lance is his biggest critic bar-none, nods and takes the responsibility. With that taken care of, Allura gets into Red and tries to get him to react. She starts tearing up at this, but Red is unmoved. Mild spoiler, but her father, King Alfor, was the original Red Paladin, so not getting to pilot his machine, again, probably stung pretty bad.

Not sure if I'm okay with seeing a member of the Gulra royal
family smile so much. It's unnatural.

Lotor and his people are in the process of reclaiming Puiga. While going over data that the empire has gathered over the last few weeks, he notices that Black Lion hasn’t been seen in a fight since the battle with Zarkon. He order Narti to act. She uses her psychic mind control powers to force the chieftain to activate his special Voltron Alliance distress beacon. The Paladins pick up the signal and make for Puiga. Before taking off, Allura lets Keith know that she’s behind him 100% as the new leader. This seems to give him an emotional pick-me-up on par with Lance’s comment, and he announces that “This one’s for you, Shiro.” Three of the lions take off. Why only three? Because Lance can’t get Blue to drop his shield.

Once in range, Lotor hails the Paladins and announces himself. He gives them the whole “surrender or die” speech before firing on them. Lotor wants to see the full capabilities of the Paladins and so launches his armada’s full strength at the paladins.

Now here's a face that says, "Ow, my pride."

Lance tries desperately to get Blue to react, but the big lion isn’t moving. Allura joins him to find out what the heck is going on. Just when things start looking grim for the others, Red roars, drawing Lance and Allura’s attention. Allura gives Lance a little speech about her dad. Despite being the guy that designed the lions, Alfor realized that Zarkon was the overall better leader in combat. He bowed to him, but served as Zarkon, and Voltron’s, right hand. And Lance, by metaphorically bowing to Keith, showed a similar quality. As Alfor was Zarkon’s right hand, and Keith was Shiro’s, it looks like Lance has to be Keith’s. He takes Red and flies out. Once alone, Blue bows his head and deactivates his shield for Allura. Looks like the princess is getting a chance to get her hands dirty.

Lotor orders his troops to focus on Black, but only enough to keep the pressure on. He wants to draw out all the Paladins if he can. Lance flies in at high speed with Red, running over any ship that get’s in the way. The Castle follows and unleashes a powerful blast on the opposing force. Lotor turns his attention to the Castle, and scores several hits on it. Allura flies in a moment later. The team preps to form Voltron, but Lotor suddenly orders a full retreat. He’d “seen enough.”

After the fight, Lance takes a moment to say goodbye to Blue. He tells the might machine that he’d have piloted Blue to the end, if it were up to him. Allura comes in, showing off her Voltron Paladin armor. It’s pink. She gives a rather silly sounding explanation that Pink is the Altean color of honoring fallen warrions, but come on, she’s in pink because Allura wore pink in the old Voltron. Lance smiles and admits that, if he had to give Blue to anyone, he’s glad it’s her. They gather with the others. Keith, rather smugly, reveals he was able to plant a tracer on Lotor’s ship. They’re going after it.

This was a good introduction into the difference between Zarkon and Lotor. The younger despot is perfectly willing to bid a tactical retreat, to ensure that he can use any information gleamed from an encounter to its fullest. Whereas Zarkon would have just kept hitting them until they broke, or he did. His minions are also of a higher class then his Father seems to work with. Each has a unique skillset that they use to great effect. Zarkon would probably rely on one skilled commander and a thousand robotic drones. It’s your classic quality vs. quantity debate. As for the paladins, the changing of roles was very well done also. Keith is extremely hesitant about taking up the responsibility that is being Voltron’s leader, and it’s really through Lance stepping up and encouraging him that allows Keith to move forward. And, in doing that, Lance effectively severed that bond he had with his original partner, in order to forge a new one. Bet you weren’t expecting this kind of metaphysical stuff from a cartoon, were you? It’ll be interesting how the paladins adapt as they chase after Lotor. The prince is not an opponent to be taken lightly, and yet, the Paladins should never be underestimated either. Here’s hoping for a good fight. 

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Viewer Log: Voltron ep 25

Change is hard. Especially when you need to save the universe.

I’d like to start out by saying that I will be doing reviews of Thor 3 and Justice League, as soon as I find the time to see a movie in theaters. We’ve already hit the busy season in the Post Office, so it’s kind of hard to find the time or energy to see a movie after working a 12 to 13-hour shift. So, I politely ask for just a little more patience. As of writing this post, I hope to have Thor: Ragnarok out by 11/30. Justice League will hopefully be finished by the end of the first full week of December.  While I’m working on that, I figured it’s high time to get a little more caught up with one of the series that really put me on the map, Voltron. Let’s get to it/

At the end of last season, the Voltron Paladins had delivered a decisive blow to the Gulra empire. They had destroyed the Gulra’s Komar (the mystical crystal they used to drain pure life energy, Quintessence, from planets), Destroyed the very expensive and dangerous weapon that was Zarkon’s Armor, and also dealt a near fatal blow to Emperor Zarkon himself. Hooray! But, in the aftermath of the battle, it was discovered that Shiro, the lead Paladin, had somehow disappeared from Black Lion’s cockpit, less hooray.

Really starting to wonder if Kolivan can do other
expressions then sullen.

We open the season onto Keith using Red Lion to search the debris field created by their battle with Zarkon. Keith searches desperately for Shiro, but sees neither hide nor hair of his commander. Which, to be fair, is probably a good thing given that they’re in space. Hide and hair don’t fare well in a vacuum, all I’m saying. Keith eventually gives up, returning to the Castle of Lions, dejected.

Back on the Castle, Coran meets with Allura as the princess preps for a diplomatic meeting. They’re trying to create a formal alliance between themselves, and several planets that had recently rebelled against the Gulra Empire. Apparently, crippling the big bad of the galaxy was all a lot of folks needed to fight back. Who knew? Allura admits that she’s not real confident in how this bit of diplomacy will work out, especially given that Shiro is gone and that without him, Voltron is pretty thoroughly benched. Kind of hard to form the giant robot without the guy who pilots like 2/3 of it. Coran is confident that things will work out, though.

Meanwhile, Hunk and Lance, in the Yellow and Blue Lions, and with a squad of Blade of Marmora (BoM) members attack a Gulra base. The Paladins run as heavy artillery while the BoM act as infantry. The BoM guys show off some crazy Naruto-Ninja moves on the Gulra machines, running at high speed, jumping and slashing at their opponents. While that’s going on, Hunk and Lance try to take out the Gulra’s heavy artillery weapon. The thing is implanted on the underside of a cliff. Lance can’t charge it directly, so Hunk decides to attack creatively. Using Yellow’s massive claws and digging prowess, he burrows into the cliff above the cannon, and smashes it. After that, the Gulra are thoroughly routed. Both Lance and Hunk enjoy their usual vices from the populace, Lance ogles some local ladies, and Hunk enjoys some local cuisine. Ah, the more things change, the more they stay the same. The BoM, however, and its leader Kolivan, unfortunately are given mostly dirty looks. Can’t necessarily blame the folks for mistrusting Gulra, but that’s racial profiling. Just saying. Kolivan mentions to Lance and Hunk that he believes Voltron just existing and fighting has motivated the people as much, if not more, then defeating Zarkon. He advises that things “cannot stand” without Voltron. I get the sense he’s been making this argument a lot lately. The local elder/chieftain/boss guy thanks the Paladins, gives the BoM a dirty look and asks to see Voltron. The boys play it off and invite him to the meeting Allura is planning.

You know, with the way the guys on the right side of the table
are talking, it seems like they think Voltron can fit in the
conference room with them.

In her room, Pidge is watching the video of her brother’s escape from space prison. Probably for the hundredth time, as this girl is obsessed. She’s using the Castle’s computers to test, scan, and analyze the video, looking for anything to help her find Matt. She even has the computer try to figure out the type of explosive used. She puts her search on pause, though, to meet with the others.

The Paladins and Allura meet. There are lots of good things to talk about. Lots of rebellions on Gulra worlds, the Gulra Empire is in shambles without its supreme leader, and it looks like the Voltron Alliance will be victorious. Unfortunately, there is the huge negative of Shiro being gone, and thus Voltron being disabled. No one is happy about that. Allura tentatively suggests that they start looking for a new Black Paladin, but Keith isn’t having it. As far as he’s concerned, if Shiro isn’t piloting Black Lion, no one should. He refuses to give up looking for Shiro, he storms off in a huff after stating that.

We then jump to the Gulra. Zarkon, while still alive, is severely injured and in a coma. He’s being kept alive on some sort of life support. Haggar seems to be the only one who knows how bad of a situation he’s currently in. I guess she’s pretending that he’s hurt, but conscious and making decisions that he relays to her. She orders that no one can see Zarkon but her. While this isn’t the best strategy, it’s probably the only thing keeping the Gulra from falling to utter chaos. One commander, Thrac all but demands to speak to Zarkon, but Haggar tells him to back off. She advices him that if he wants to talk to the guy in charge, Zarkon’s son, Lotor, has arrived to take control of the empire for now. Lotor has been named Emperor Pro tempore until his father recovers. Thrac isn’t pleased with this and storms off. Once Haggar follows, an oddly colored alien in Gulra armor un-cloaks herself and smiles evilly. How ominous.

On the Castle of Lion’s, the New Voltron Coalitions meets. They point out that, while their opponent is cosmic in scale, the fringes of the Gulra empire is beginning to crack. Allura proposes that they gather together all the forces of their group together into a united army of some kind. The gathered delegates, while interested, are more interested in seeing Voltron. Keith kind of flips out, and tells these folks in no uncertain terms that Voltron is out of commission, possibly forever. Kolivan tries to rally everyone together, but the non-Paladins are feeling pretty distrustful of Gulra. Even the Gulra that are fighting the rest of the Gulra. Keith storms off. He does that a lot lately.

Really questioning how Zarkon could have possibly sired
someone with a face like that.

Back with the Gulra, Commander Thrac is watching a gladiatorial match with other Gulra. He and an ally are disgusted with Zarkon’s defeat, and that Lotor is taking over for his father. They take issues with Lotor’s policies, his top lieutenants, and with Lotor himself. They don’t fancy the idea of being led by a filthy half-breed Gulra. They’re pretty much planning a coup. They’re plans are slightly interrupted by the match. A smaller warrior completely trounced a massive opponent. The commanders are impressed, until it’s revealed that the smaller warrior is Lotor.

Lotor challenges Thrac to a duel. Rather than performing a coup, Lotor promises that if he is defeated, he’ll bow out and return to the far reaches of space. Lotor’s generals appear, encircling Thrac. FYI, Lotor’s top four generals are all women, and, like him, are half-Gulra. Given few other options, Thrac agrees.

The two warriors duel. Thrac is incredibly fast, but Lotor is significantly faster. He continually taunts his opponent until Thrac starts getting sloppy. He hits Thrac’s sword with enough force to shatter it. After Thrac yields, Lotor actually lets him live. Lotor gives the Gulra his manifesto, of sorts. He explains he essentially wants to do the opposite of what his dad did. He wants to inspire loyalty in the lesser species of the Empire, not fear, and even allow the most loyal of non-Gulra to be able to attain status in their military. All of the assembled Gulra salute their Emperor Pro temp, swearing fealty. Lotor leaves the ring and confers with his minions. He has Thrak transferred to the far reaches of the empire, as punishment for plotting a coup.

Got to love the crowd's collective "Oh crap, are we going
to die?" face here.

Back with the Paladins, Keith looks wistfully at the Black Lion. He’s joined by the others a moment later. The group talk about Shiro, they agree that they miss him and that Shiro is irreplaceable, but they also know that the universe needs Voltron. Keith begrudgingly agrees.

This is a good start to the season. I like the symmetry between what’s happening with the Paladins and the Gulra empire. Both are reeling from the loss of their respective commanders. One could argue that the Gulra have it slightly more together then the Paladins do, though. They’ve already gotten their new boss all broken in at this point, while the obvious choice for new Black Lion Paladin is just now accepting that they need a new Black Lion Paladin. Need to catch up with everyone else, Keith. Lotor is an interesting choice for replacing Zarkon, as he seems to be the polar opposite of his father in nearly every regard. Zarkon was a war ax; big, intimidating, destructive as heck, and kills with relative ease. Lotor is much more like a dagger; no less lethal then the ax, but smaller, subtler, and more exact with its hits. I especially liked how he bested Thrac. He gets the best of both worlds, he was able to publicly humiliate a rival, show off his way of thinking, win the loyalty of many of his soldiers, and have the continued enjoyment of knowing that Thrac is miserable somewhere in the far reaches of space. Lotor won big, no two ways about it. I also really like the look of Lotor and his Generals. It’s a nice blending of the Gulra Purple with some really interesting new physical traits that Lotor and his Generals got from their non-Gulra parent. It’ll be interesting to see how this series progresses. 

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Viewer Log: The Defenders ep 8

            All things come to an end.

Alright, here we are, we’ve hit the grand finale. Will The Defenders stick the landing, or flop onto its face? How will our misfit heroes stop the Hand’s evil plan and save New York? Will Jessica seriously consider going to an AA meeting for real? All these questions except one will be answered… NOW!

So, this time we open on Colleen and Matt trying to convince the others that setting off a bunch of C4 and destroying Midland Circle and the Hand is the only way to stop the bad guys for good. While I can respect their thought process, I think I side with Luke on this one. Why? Because blowing up a building is dangerous. They’re able to eventually sway Jessica and Luke to their plan, when it’s revealed that the building is improbably empty save for the Hand, and that their plan will, fingers crossed, cause the building to collapse directly into their hole beneath the city. They have the added problem that the detonator they brought with only runs on a timer. So, once it starts they have ten minutes to make a break for it. No pressure.

So Danny is inside the chest of the Dragon that is tattooed
on his chest? That's kind of meta.

Beneath Midland, Elektra is examining the Dragon skeleton and basking in her victory. She’s interrupted by Gao and some Hand Goons joining her. Gao explains that, since Danny seemed to have escaped, a good chuck of their forces is out looking for him. Also, that removing the bones from beneath New York will cause more major quakes, and eventually cause New York to collapse into the sea. Both are super okay with that, because… evil. Thankfully, Danny was hiding nearby, head everything, and now knows he needs to make sure they don’t take the bones out.

Upstairs, the group break into teams. The Powereds, Matt, Luke, and Jessica will go down, find Matt and get the heroes clear before things go boom. The Normies, consisting of Colleen and Claire, will go and set the bomb. Colleen is rather upset at, from her perspective, being left behind. But, Claire does point out that she really, really needs some backup just in case the Hand goons find her. Colleen reluctantly agrees to go with.

Outside, the Cops find out that the C4 was taken. Neither Misty nor the Captain seem to question how someone slipped that out of the Evidence locker, how odd. It takes them a moment, but they realize that if the Defenders took the C4, they probably are planning to use them. They hurriedly start shouting for the bomb squad. Back at the police station, Karen is examining the police’s web board thing about the Hand. What is that thing called, I have no idea what the proper term is. Anyway, she’s examining it, and Trish comes in. The power comes back on, which is good. Malcom and Foggy come in, and let the ladies know that their friends/family have an APB out on them, which is bad.

The heroes descend. Matt, using his super hearing, finds a concealed elevator. Luke smashes the door open, and they find the giant elevator shaft that leads to the bottom. After everyone admits that they’re a little terrified, they rally and get into the elevator.

Back with Colleen and Claire, they bond a little while making for the central pillar.  They’re able to plant the C4, but then Bakudo walks in. They both make for cover, and Colleen draws her sword from cover. Bakudo notices the C4, seems to sense that his former apprentice is nearby, channels his inner Zod and announces that he will find her. Colleen, wanting to finish things for real, reveals herself. While the two warriors duel, Misty calls Claire. She wants to know about the C4, but Claire is kind of focused on Bakudo, so she just tells Misty to clear the block and hangs up. Misty, tired of being forced to the sidelines, pulls her gun, shoots the nearest door and breaks into the building.

A crew of Hand goons are harvesting Dragon bones, leaving them open for a nice ambush. Danny jumps down and beats them up. Madam Gao reveals herself. Danny calls her and the Hand out for defiling the bones of Shao-Lao… we’ll get back to that. Gao shrugs and points out that Danny literally/figuratively punched Shao-Lao’s heart. She uses one of her Chi punches to knock Danny on his butt, where he gets jumped by Murakami, Elektra, and the rest of the Hand. Before they can do something horrible to Danny, they hear the Elevator coming down, and prepare.

Time to descend into the Darkness. Whoops, sorry Matt.

On the Elevator, Matt hears all the craziness going on below, and formulates a plan. And it’s a fairly simple one, at that. When the elevator touches down, Jessica is the only one in it. She steps out, claiming she’s just here to talk. As weak and obvious as this distraction is, somehow it worked. Helps that it looks like they just needed a moment to get into position. Luke and Matt jump down from above and then a massive brawl ensues. Danny breaks free, knocking Gao down and then Murakami. The fight is on!

Back with the Normies, Colleen and Bakudo are really getting into their sword fight. Bakudo keeps offering Colleen her old job back, dude is seriously obsessed, but Colleen isn’t interested. While this is going on, more goons slip in to help Bakudo. Claire tries to stop them, hitting them with a wrench, but she’s overpowered. Thankfully, Misty walks in and uses her superpower, having a gun, to take them out. Colleen gets distracted for a moment and takes a slash to the back. The group tries to take him down, but he quickly disarms Colleen, gets Claire between the x of his twin blades, and then dis-arms Misty when she tries to save Claire. Literally, her arm is chopped off. Colleen gets her sword back and chops off Bakudo’s head. They then find out that Bakudo started the timer on the bomb during the fight. They have nine minutes to escape. Oh shoot.

The massive brawl is continuing downstairs. Luke is smacking folks around, Danny and Matt are using their superior skills to beat the heck out of goons, and Jessica is literally thrilling goons around. They regroup for a few moments, the three free members telling Danny about the boom plan, and Danny telling the others that Alexandra is dead and Elektra is in charge now. The brawl resumes. Matt eventually hears the bomb ticking, and tells the rest of them to fall back. He’s staying back to try and get through to Elektra again. They don’t want to leave, but Matt isn’t moving. He whispers something to Danny before they go. While the Defenders take the elevator, the bad guys climb the scaffolding.

Spoilers ahead. If you don’t want to know the ending, stop reading here. You have been warned.

It's about time they do a Power Rangers style line up.
Now they just need an color-coded explosion.

Elektra and Matt face off again. He keeps trying to talk to her, and keeps getting sliced up as thanks. Matt, buddy, there are such a thing as lost causes, all I’m saying. In frustration, Elektra tosses one of her swords at the elevator cable, slashing though it. On the elevator, the team has to fight several Hand goons, including Murakami. The baddies get thrown off, and Jessica ends up saving the day. She was able to quickly climb out and onto the scaffolding, and caught the elevator cable before it could crash. She’s able to hold it long enough for Danny and Luke to climb off.

The free Defenders meet up with the Normies. What? Every team needs a name, and these normal ladies deserve one. Misty is bleeding horribly, and they really have no time to spare. Danny, realizing Matt wants to go down with the Hand, tries to go back for him, but the cops rush in and pull them all out.

Matt and Elektra’s battle is reaching its zenith. They’re both exhausted, badly beaten, and nearly out of time. Madam Gao, who is somehow still alive, comes across Murakami, impaled on some rebar. Murakami, rather delusional from the combination of blows to the head, massive fall, blood loss, and rebar through the sternum, asks what’s going on. Gao rather simply says, “the End.” The bomb goes off, Elektra has just enough time to tell Matt that she’s sorry for hurting him before the building topples.

Outside, the others look on in horror as Midland Circle impossibly collapses in on itself. Danny reveals that, Matt’s last words to him were “Protect my city.” The Team is brought back to the station, and reunited with their entourages. Karen and Foggy are clearly heartbroken when Matt doesn’t follow the others in.

After that, things kind of go back to normal. Trish continues to investigate all that happened, and consoling her adoptive sister, Jessica. Foggy lets Luke and Claire know that they’ll see no legal trouble because of what happened. Danny uses his money to pay for Misty’s treatment, and later implies to Colleen that he might try to take up Matt’s mantel. Jessica, while out for a ‘my life is screwed up’ drink, is joined by Luke and they have a conversation they probably should have had earlier. The conversation boils down to both admitting that they both screwed up whatever there was between them. Such is life. Luke admits that he’s glad she got out okay, and Jessica reciprocates. They take a shot for Matt. Jessica returns to her place, to discover Malcom fixing up some bullet holes in her wall. Jessica, who seems to have accepted his unsolicited help, just shakes her head and reveals the new Alias Investigations logo. Karen and Foggy pray for Matt at Matt’s preferred church, and hope he’s in a better place.

We then cut to Matt, badly bruised and bloodied, covered in bandages… and being cared for by nuns. One of them says to “Get Maggie. Tell her he’s awake.” One story ends, and another begins.

Okay, so overall, The Defenders was good. Not great, but good. I think that the smaller allotment of episodes kind of hurt it, as there really wasn’t much breathing room in the plot overall. It seems like after episode one they were pretty much running the whole time. Which is fine overall, but does make things feel a little rushed in places. I really enjoyed the final showdown between the Defenders and the Hand. They did a mash up of their individual fights and their theme music that was really well done. I also like seeing the slight differentiation between Luke and Jessica’s fighting styles. Both have super-strength, so one would assume they’d fight the same. But no, thanks to Luke’s unbreakable skin, he’s able to hit as hard as he wants, using his full body as a battering ram. Jessica, on the other hand, is strong but not supernaturally durable. Meaning, sure, she can hit hard enough to break concrete, but it’ll mangle her hand something fierce. So instead, she ends up tossing her opponents around, using physics to determine how beat up they get. A small touch, but a nice one. Matt vs. Elektra was more or less what I was expecting. A lot of pleading from Matt, and a lot of hitting from Elektra. I kind of wish we could have seen Matt go all out against her, but we can’t always get what we want. Kind of a letdown send off for Madam Gao, who’s been menacing around since season one of Daredevil. She just gets blown to oblivion like everyone else. I was so going to lay down money that she’d slip away. But again, can’t get what we want. I honestly have no idea if the dragon was supposed to be the skeleton of Shao-Lao, or if Shao-Lao is like K’un-Lunise for Dragon, or what. Begs the question of how Danny punched it in the heart if it was already dead and rotted to nothing. Gao claims that Dragons used to be relatively numerous, so it’s anyone’s guess. Finally, a little factoid about Matthew Murdock to partially explain the significance of that nun’s comment. Matt is the son of Jack Murdock, who he knows is dead, and Margaret Murdock, whom Matt presumed to be dead. Just food for though. Oh, and how the heck did those Nuns get him out of there? I hope they explain in Daredevil season 3.

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Viewer Log: The Defenders ep 7

Well, looks like I couldn’t get all these guys into October. It’s a little disappointing, but hey, at least I tried. And I did squeeze in two more posts, so that’s a bonus. No use crying over spilt milk. Let’s get to it.

The Stick, master manipulator. I'm glad they didn't try to make
him seem more heroic post-death. 

We open with a flashback, taking place most likely in the middle of Daredevil season 2. Elektra meets up with the Stick, and the two discuss Matt Murdock. Stick had sent Elektra to seduce and/or otherwise convince Matt to give up being a normal guy and joining the Chaste, the not completely evil Ninja Clan. They’re not necessarily good, just the lesser evil. Elektra says Matt isn’t interesting, but the Stick thinks that his operative just went native. Shocking, she fell in love with Matt and now doesn’t want to manipulate him. What are the odds of that happening? Ow, that was painful sarcasm.

In the present, we’re reminded of what happened last time. Namely, the Stick was stabbed to death, Luke got high on Stick’s incense and passed out, and Jessica and Matt got their butts kicked by Elektra. The police pull up, and assumedly gather up the heroes. Jessica wakes up first in an interrogation room. Misty makes the obvious crack, “We need to stop meeting like this,” and asks about the two dead bodies they found in that factory. I guess no one got rid of Swande’s body. Not smart. Jessica elects to keep things vague, to try and protect Misty and the NYPD from something that they can’t handle. In another room, Matt wakes up and runs into Foggy first. Foggy gives him the lowdown on what’s happened, and once again chastises his friend for doing the superhero thing. Misty comes out of the interrogation room and asks Matt what’s going on, but he also elects to say nothing. Luke is the last to rises. Claire and Colleen watch over him as he sleeps. Claire muses about how she keeps getting roped into these bizarre situations when she tried soooo hard to stay away from superhero schtick since meeting Matt Murdock all those years ago. Luke wakes up a moment later, and gets brought up to speed.

With the Hand, the surviving Fingers are taking their boss’s death surprisingly well. Well, they aren’t trying to kill Elektra or screaming, so that’s about as well as can be expected. As a matter of fact, Gao and the others seem more annoyed than anything else. Gao tries to keep control of the situation, not actively siding with Elektra, but not ruling out the possibility. She explains that Alexandra was kind of important to the group, as she was the ‘face’ of the Hand. Most of their underhanded political, economic, and other deals were done through her. So, Alexandra suddenly disappearing is going to take some explaining. Elektra doesn’t care, as she doesn’t care about the Hand, she just wants to substance that the Hand is after. The important thing is that she’ll be able to help bring about this goal, so the Fingers are open to working with her.

The three Defenders are brought in to the situation room in the NYPD and are pretty much told ‘tell us what you know, or time jail.” The group tries to keep silent, in an attempt to protect the NYPD from something that they can’t handle. To that, I say, “Guys, ask Harry Dresden how often that approach kept him out of trouble with the Chicago PD.” For those who don’t have time for fifteen books, it doesn’t work for him, and it’s sure as heck not going to work for the Defenders. Luke finally breaks a little, and lets them know they’re up against an evil Ninja clan. But not much more. The Captain starts flipping out, but Matt is able to talk him down, convincing the police that he needs to have a quick chat with his clients. Apparently, no one is questioning why a lawyer is hanging out with two people with confirmed superpowers and a billionaire. Karen shows up and pulls Matt aside again. She, like Foggy, yells at him for giving into his ‘other life’ again, but Matt doesn’t have time for this conversation. Luke is pulled aside by Misty, who once again asks him to work with her, but Luke refuses, in an attempt to protect his friend.

Elektra takes a restrained Danny to the catacombs beneath Midland Circle, while the Fingers watch over the security cameras. While they’re still not sure how well this will work out, they agree that Elektra does have the power to lead them into the new age that this plan of theirs will lead. And that things could change after their new age begins. Danny comes to as they reach the bottom, and Elektra shows him something.

Seriously, not one person is questioning why a lawyer, two
superpowered humans, and a billionaire are hanging out together?

The Trio of Defenders, finally, get their private chat. They exchange information, mostly about what Jessica and Matt learned about Midland Circle, and what John Raymond had planned to do to it. They’re interrupted, again, by Foggy. He tells Matt how dangerous it is that he’s letting his two ‘lives’ mix together like this, since if the police discover Attorney Matt Murdock and vigilante Daredevil are one guy, all the good that he and Foggy did as lawyers goes down the toilet. He hands Matt a bag, a change of clothes, he says. Matt pops the bag open, sticks a hand inside, and feels his Daredevil mask. A change of clothes, indeed. The Cops discuss the situation. The Captain tells Misty, in no uncertain terms, that this case will pretty much make or break her career. At that exact moment, Luke and/or Jessica break the NYPD’s wall and escape.

We finally get to see what Danny was shown, a giant stone wall with ancient writing all over it. She explains what she learned about the wall from Alexandra. The wall was sealed years ago by a previous Iron Fist, and thus can only be opened with Iron Fist. On the other side is the substance that the Hand needs to make its immortality/resurrection cocktail. So now, all she needs is Danny to open the path for her.

The cops are freaking out about the superhuman vigilantes escaping and, from their perspective, kidnapping their lawyer. Misty is told that she can either find them, or turn in her badge. While that was going on, Colleen slips into the evidence lock up, and knabs the schematics of Midland Financial and the crate of C4. Oh no.

Outside, the Defenders are in trouble. They need to get across town, the cops are looking for them, and no one thought to grab their wallet. Well, to be fair the cops confiscated them when the group was brought in, but still, someone probably should have thought of that before the break out. Thankfully, Jessica had her pass to the subway. The group rides the subway, and Jessica also stealing a beer from a homeless guy. Seriously, Jessica, you HAVE a PROBLEM.

Back at the police station, Karen meets up with Foggy and asks what’s going on. He admits that he brought Matt his costume, and that this somehow would help Matt break his superhero addiction. Or something. Misty asks Claire where the Defender’s went. Claire admits she doesn’t know, but Luke and the others are where they need to be. It’s at this moment that they realize that Colleen is missing.

At Midland Circle, Jessica and Luke admit that they might be having second thoughts about storming a hidden Ninja base, again, but still go forward with a fully decked out Daredevil. They break in, using the route that Luke used when he snuck in last time. Unfortunately, they’re cut off by the surviving Fingers. In the bowels of Midland Circle, Elektra keeps trying to persuade Danny to open the gate. She releases him from his bonds to let him have a look at it. She tries to pull the “we’re not so different, you and I,” line, but Danny is too smart for that. Yeah, I was shocked too. The two warriors start fighting.

Oh... oh this does not end well.

The other Defenders fight the Fingers topside. It somehow breaks down that Matt is fighting Murakami and Bakudo, while Luke and Jessica fight Gao. Yeah, Matt is the one that lucked out. There’s a pretty long and elaborate fight scene between the Defenders and their opponents. Lots of punches and kicks, Madam Gao chi blasts, sword swings and so on. The fighters on the topside are pretty evenly matched, the fight only shifting to the Hero’s favor when Colleen shows up. She takes a few swings at Bakudo, before the Fingers bid a retreat. They bust open a gas line and ignite it to cover their escape. Luke crushes the gas line shut, allowing the group to continue.

Danny’s fight with Elektra isn’t going as well as the others. When it comes down to it, Elektra is just too strong and fast for Danny to keep pace. She decides to hit Danny’s biggest pressure point, his guilt over failing K’un-Lun. How does she do this? By revealing that she was one of the ones sent in to kill the K’un-Lun monks. This sets Danny off, as he calls up the Iron Fist to keep the fight going.

Before the others can start descending to get to Danny, Claire and Misty drive up in Misty’s car. It looks like she might try to get in their way, she instead offers to keep the cops busy while the Defenders do what they need to do.

In the pit, Elektra finally gets what she wants. She nabs Danny’s fist between her sais and forces his hand against the stone wall. He really should have thought of that before focusing his chi, all I’m saying. The contact between the two causes a massive shockwave, and a major blackout across New York.

Colleen, meanwhile, reveals that she stole a crate full of C4 from the NYPD evidence locker, and that she wants to destroy the building, using John Raymond’s original plan. The others are apprehensive, but it looks like this might be their only option to stop the Hand once and for all. Matt puts some of their nerves at easy by pointing out the building is currently empty. How improbable. At that moment, Danny wakes up in a giant cavern. Except it isn’t a cavern, it looks like it’s a colossal skeletal ribcage. The camera pans upward, revealing that Danny is currently lying in the partially buried skeleton of a colossal dragon. I think I know what the substance is…

Once again, I find myself annoyed by Foggy and Karen’s attitude towards Matt’s superhero life. Like, seriously guys, you are going to keep whining about his choice to be a superhero when an evil Ninja clan is doing society destroying type things. Why do it? I’m curious as to what Elektra is planning to get out of the substance. She’s already been infused with the resurrection juice, so, does she just want to get more already? She never struck me as the type to be interested in immortality. Granted, I know that being brought back to life drives someone slightly insane, but it still, this feels a little too bizarre for her. The fight scene between the Matt, Luke, and Jessica vs. the Fingers was really well choreographed. Lots of punches flung, and weapons striking each other. Once again, Madam Gao was the most terrifying fighter of the group. Something about her stern face, coupled with her chi enhanced blows made her more than a match for Jessica and Luke. So yeah, a good penultimate episode. Let’s see if they can stick the landing. 

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